Greetings and Salutations,
I have previously mentioned in my posts probably last year around this time how I feel conflicted about Christmas and gift giving.
Well this year I bought some gifts for my immediate family. I really derive little joy or pleasure in getting people gifts. I as well don't really get much out of receiving gifts as well.
I read this book a long time ago entitled "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and I believe this books probably explains why I despise this time of year and the social obligation to buy gifts. According to this book there are five ways people show love and they are through spending quality time with someone,words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The basic premise of the book is that people largely feel unloved in relationships (whether they are familial, friendships or your companion) because people do not know what their love language is. We also tend to show love to others the way we would like to receive. For example, if we like getting hugs we will show our love to others by giving them hugs even though for the recipient, receiving physical contact is not their primary love language.
So maybe this is why I find buying things so meaningless. I am not someone that feels loved when I get gifts. I associate so many negative things when buying people stuff. First off, I like buying things that someone will enjoy. I am a highly practical person and since I don't like having things I will not use, I do not like getting things for people that they can't use. It would cause me great pain to buy something for someone they will not use that enhances their life in some way. This is also why I am not a knick-knack person. What do you do with a knick-knack? Nothing. They are just things to clean up. In other words, a knick knack is work and I loathe unnecessary work.
There is the stress of having to think of stuff to buy them that they will actually enjoy. I don't even like shopping for myself because it really bothers me to be in stores and to realize how much stuff of it is just useless and a waste of people's time and effort to make these various products. And then I feel bad for the people selling this crap in the store because they have to get rid of the shit.
Our whole economy seems largely driven to make crap and to force people to take crappy jobs so that they can buy this crap. And then they have people that are trained to market this crap, convincing us how we must have this crap to have a good life. And then once people have had this crap for long enough, they throw it out and then we have a whole other industry that deals with how to get rid of the crap we created just for the sake of creating crap.
Crap!
Anyways, for me I like spending quality time with people and hearing words of affirmation. Nothing makes me feel better then knowing someone is listening to what I have to say and respects and pays attention to me. And that they are there for me when I need help.
That's really all I want for Christmas.
Listen and respect me.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Organized
Greetings and Salutations,
I had purchased some more furnishings for my apartment. I found a tv stand at Zellers a few weeks ago that was on sale but the Zellers in the mall where I work had none in stock so I was given a raincheck. I was over at another Zellers in Hamilton on Saturday and saw that they had some and so the next day I picked it up with my friend and assembled it. I also finished assembling my desk that I bought last week. I have managed to purchase 4 items that require assembly and have for 3 of them successfully assembled them myself. The fourth being the infamous Ikea bookshelf which required the assistance of my parents. Please see earlier blog entry for more details.
I think that I should get a degree in Ready-To-Assemble Furniture.
I also bought a carpet for my bedroom. I ordered it online. I was tired of looking for one in stores since I was not finding what I was looking for. I managed to find one and this is what it looks like
this.
I also have a new roommate. She moved in on the last weekend of October. We are getting along so far. She has a small dog named Bosley. He is a Yorkie Poo. He got shaved as his fur gets rather matted so he needs a regular shaving. I think he looks better with short fur. My roommate and I and some of her co-worker friends, went out dancing on Friday night. We went to some club that had over 30 singles dance. We were all under 30. They let us in. I think we were the only ones in there that was dancing with beer in our hands. There was alot of old people there. They probably realized that getting drunk doesn't help them get laid as alcohol affects sexual performance. They probably know this from experience and probably looked at us as young punks since we were actually there to dance and were not desperate to get laid.
I had purchased some more furnishings for my apartment. I found a tv stand at Zellers a few weeks ago that was on sale but the Zellers in the mall where I work had none in stock so I was given a raincheck. I was over at another Zellers in Hamilton on Saturday and saw that they had some and so the next day I picked it up with my friend and assembled it. I also finished assembling my desk that I bought last week. I have managed to purchase 4 items that require assembly and have for 3 of them successfully assembled them myself. The fourth being the infamous Ikea bookshelf which required the assistance of my parents. Please see earlier blog entry for more details.
I think that I should get a degree in Ready-To-Assemble Furniture.
I also bought a carpet for my bedroom. I ordered it online. I was tired of looking for one in stores since I was not finding what I was looking for. I managed to find one and this is what it looks like
this.
I also have a new roommate. She moved in on the last weekend of October. We are getting along so far. She has a small dog named Bosley. He is a Yorkie Poo. He got shaved as his fur gets rather matted so he needs a regular shaving. I think he looks better with short fur. My roommate and I and some of her co-worker friends, went out dancing on Friday night. We went to some club that had over 30 singles dance. We were all under 30. They let us in. I think we were the only ones in there that was dancing with beer in our hands. There was alot of old people there. They probably realized that getting drunk doesn't help them get laid as alcohol affects sexual performance. They probably know this from experience and probably looked at us as young punks since we were actually there to dance and were not desperate to get laid.
Friday, November 09, 2007
My Experience with Ortho C - Part 3
Greetings and Salutations,
I got a new lens for my right eye back on October 21. My vision has improved another 0.25 diopter. I was told by Mr. Yee to start wearing my Ortho C lens one eye at a time instead of wearing them both at the same time. I believe he told me to follow this method for wearing them because my one eye is more dominant then the other. Usually everyone has a dominant eye but I used to have a lazy left eye which resulted in me having eye surgery to correct it when I was 2. So I am highly dominant in my right eye.
My right eye always used to be the one that didn't have the stronger prescription but since my early 20s, my right eye now has become the eye that has the stronger prescription.
I also ordered a pair of blue opaque contact lens to wear for regular use. I am currently just wearing clear ones. Next week I will hopefully have blue eyes. I always wanted blue eyes. When I was in high school, I debated over whether to get blue eyes or stick with my dark brown eyes. I went with clear contacts to show my natural eye colour because I thought wearing blue eyes would be like being fake and deceiving. Imagine dating someone whose eyes you were so captivated by only to realize that they were fake. It seemed to me like a form of deceiving. I believed if the eyes were the window to the soul, then I would be pretending to be someone I am not by having blue eyes.
But now that I am older, I decided I'd try them out to see what they would look like on me. And since my lens are only good for 2 weeks, it's not a major commitment. When I was in high school, I usually bought contacts that were for more long term wear so I can understand why I wouldn't want to change my eyes.
My mother doesn't like my idea but I think it will be fun.
I got a new lens for my right eye back on October 21. My vision has improved another 0.25 diopter. I was told by Mr. Yee to start wearing my Ortho C lens one eye at a time instead of wearing them both at the same time. I believe he told me to follow this method for wearing them because my one eye is more dominant then the other. Usually everyone has a dominant eye but I used to have a lazy left eye which resulted in me having eye surgery to correct it when I was 2. So I am highly dominant in my right eye.
My right eye always used to be the one that didn't have the stronger prescription but since my early 20s, my right eye now has become the eye that has the stronger prescription.
I also ordered a pair of blue opaque contact lens to wear for regular use. I am currently just wearing clear ones. Next week I will hopefully have blue eyes. I always wanted blue eyes. When I was in high school, I debated over whether to get blue eyes or stick with my dark brown eyes. I went with clear contacts to show my natural eye colour because I thought wearing blue eyes would be like being fake and deceiving. Imagine dating someone whose eyes you were so captivated by only to realize that they were fake. It seemed to me like a form of deceiving. I believed if the eyes were the window to the soul, then I would be pretending to be someone I am not by having blue eyes.
But now that I am older, I decided I'd try them out to see what they would look like on me. And since my lens are only good for 2 weeks, it's not a major commitment. When I was in high school, I usually bought contacts that were for more long term wear so I can understand why I wouldn't want to change my eyes.
My mother doesn't like my idea but I think it will be fun.
Monday, November 05, 2007
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience - An article by Henry David Thoreau
I copied this from a website that I regularly read. The link is here.
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience
Henry David Thoreau
This American government--what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to posterity, but each instant losing some of its integrity? It has not the vitality and force of a single living man; for a single man can bend it to his will. It is a sort of wooden gun to the people themselves. But it is not the less necessary for this; for the people must have some complicated machinery or other, and hear its din, to satisfy that idea of government which they have. Governments show thus how successfully men can be imposed upon, even impose on themselves, for their own advantage. It is excellent, we must all allow. Yet this government never of itself furthered any enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of its way. It does not keep the country free. It does not settle the West. It does not educate. The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way.
But, to speak practically and as a citizen, unlike those who call themselves no-government men, I ask for, not at once no government, but at once a better government.
After all, the practical reason why, when the power is once in the hands of the people, a majority are permitted, and for a long period continue, to rule is not because they are most likely to be in the right, nor because this seems fairest to the minority, but because they are physically the strongest. But a government in which the majority rules in all cases can not be based on justice, even as far as men understand it. Can there not be a government in which the majorities do not virtually decide right and wrong, but conscience?--in which majorities decide only those questions to which the rule of expediency is applicable? Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? Why has every man a conscience then? I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward. It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right. The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think right. It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience; but a corporation of conscientious men is a corporation with a conscience. Law never made men a whit more just; and, by means of their respect for it, even the well-disposed are daily made the agents on injustice. A common and natural result of an undue respect for the law is, that you may see a file of soldiers, colonel, captain, corporal, privates, powder-monkeys and all, marching in admirable order over hill and dale to the wars, against their wills, ay, against their common sense and consciences, which makes it very steep marching indeed, and produces a palpitation of the heart. They have no doubt that it is a damnable business in which they are concerned; they are all peaceably inclined. Now, what are they? Men at all? or small movable forts and magazines, at the service of some unscrupulous man in power? Visit the Navy Yard, and behold a marine, such a man as an American government can make, or such as it can make a man with its black arts--a mere shadow and reminiscence of humanity, a man laid out alive and standing, and already, as one may say, buried under arms with funeral accompaniment…
The mass of men serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the standing army, and the militia, jailers, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgement or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well. Such command no more respect than men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs.
How does it become a man to behave toward the American government today? I answer, that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it. I cannot for an instant recognize that political organization as my government which is the slave's government also.
All men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable. But almost all say that such is not the case now. But such was the case, they think, in the Revolution of 1775. If one were to tell me that this was a bad government because it taxed certain foreign commodities brought to its ports, it is most probable that I should not make an ado about it, for I can do without them. All machines have their friction; and possibly this does enough good to counter-balance the evil. At any rate, it is a great evil to make a stir about it. But when the friction comes to have its machine, and oppression and robbery are organized, I say, let us not have such a machine any longer. In other words, when a sixth of the population of a nation which has undertaken to be the refuge of liberty are slaves, and a whole country is unjustly overrun and conquered by a foreign army, and subjected to military law, I think that it is not too soon for honest men to rebel and revolutionize. What makes this duty the more urgent is that fact that the country so overrun is not our own, but ours is the invading army.
There are thousands who are in opinion opposed to slavery and to the war, who yet in effect do nothing to put an end to them; who, esteeming themselves children of Washington and Franklin, sit down with their hands in their pockets, and say that they know not what to do, and do nothing; who even postpone the question of freedom to the question of free trade, and quietly read the prices-current along with the latest advices from Mexico, after dinner, and, it may be, fall asleep over them both. What is the price-current of an honest man and patriot today? They hesitate, and they regret, and sometimes they petition; but they do nothing in earnest and with effect. They will wait, well disposed, for other to remedy the evil, that they may no longer have it to regret.
I hear of a convention to be held at Baltimore, or elsewhere, for the selection of a candidate for the Presidency, made up chiefly of editors, and men who are politicians by profession; but I think, what is it to any independent, intelligent, and respectable man what decision they may come to? Shall we not have the advantage of this wisdom and honesty, nevertheless? Can we not count upon some independent votes? Are there not many individuals in the country who do not attend conventions? But no: I find that the respectable man, so called, has immediately drifted from his position, and despairs of his country, when his country has more reasons to despair of him. He forthwith adopts one of the candidates thus selected as the only available one, thus proving that he is himself available for any purposes of the demagogue. His vote is of no more worth than that of any unprincipled foreigner or hireling native, who may have been bought.
The broadest and most prevalent error requires the most disinterested virtue to sustain it. The slight reproach to which the virtue of patriotism is commonly liable, the noble are most likely to incur. Those who, while they disapprove of the character and measures of a government, yield to it their allegiance and support are undoubtedly its most conscientious supporters, and so frequently the most serious obstacles to reform.
Unjust laws exist: shall we be content to obey them, or shall we endeavor to amend them, and obey them until we have succeeded, or shall we transgress them at once? Men, generally, under such a government as this, think that they ought to wait until they have persuaded the majority to alter them. They think that, if they should resist, the remedy would be worse than the evil.
If the injustice is part of the necessary friction of the machine of government, let it go, let it go: perchance it will wear smooth--certainly the machine will wear out. If the injustice has a spring, or a pulley, or a rope, or a crank, exclusively for itself, then perhaps you may consider whether the remedy will not be worse than the evil; but if it is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter-friction to stop the machine. What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn.
Under a government which imprisons unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison. The proper place today, the only place which Massachusetts has provided for her freer and less despondent spirits, is in her prisons….
"But what shall I do?" my answer is, "If you really wish to do anything, resign your office." When the subject has refused allegiance, and the officer has resigned from office, then the revolution is accomplished.
I do not wish to quarrel with any man or nation. I do not wish to split hairs, to make fine distinctions, or set myself up as better than my neighbors. I seek rather, I may say, even an excuse for conforming to the laws of the land. I am but too ready to conform to them. Indeed, I have reason to suspect myself on this head; and each year, as the tax-gatherer comes round, I find myself disposed to review the acts and position of the general and State governments, and the spirit of the people to discover a pretext for conformity.
Even the Chinese philosopher was wise enough to regard the individual as the basis of the empire. Is a democracy, such as we know it, the last improvement possible in government? Is it not possible to take a step further towards recognizing and organizing the rights of man? There will never be a really free and enlightened State until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived, and treats him accordingly. I please myself with imagining a State at last which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling with it, nor embraced by it, who fulfilled all the duties of neighbors and fellow men. A State which bore this kind of fruit, and suffered it to drop off as fast as it ripened, would prepare the way for a still more perfect and glorious State, which I have also imagined, but not yet anywhere seen.
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience
Henry David Thoreau
This American government--what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to posterity, but each instant losing some of its integrity? It has not the vitality and force of a single living man; for a single man can bend it to his will. It is a sort of wooden gun to the people themselves. But it is not the less necessary for this; for the people must have some complicated machinery or other, and hear its din, to satisfy that idea of government which they have. Governments show thus how successfully men can be imposed upon, even impose on themselves, for their own advantage. It is excellent, we must all allow. Yet this government never of itself furthered any enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of its way. It does not keep the country free. It does not settle the West. It does not educate. The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way.
But, to speak practically and as a citizen, unlike those who call themselves no-government men, I ask for, not at once no government, but at once a better government.
After all, the practical reason why, when the power is once in the hands of the people, a majority are permitted, and for a long period continue, to rule is not because they are most likely to be in the right, nor because this seems fairest to the minority, but because they are physically the strongest. But a government in which the majority rules in all cases can not be based on justice, even as far as men understand it. Can there not be a government in which the majorities do not virtually decide right and wrong, but conscience?--in which majorities decide only those questions to which the rule of expediency is applicable? Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? Why has every man a conscience then? I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward. It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right. The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think right. It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience; but a corporation of conscientious men is a corporation with a conscience. Law never made men a whit more just; and, by means of their respect for it, even the well-disposed are daily made the agents on injustice. A common and natural result of an undue respect for the law is, that you may see a file of soldiers, colonel, captain, corporal, privates, powder-monkeys and all, marching in admirable order over hill and dale to the wars, against their wills, ay, against their common sense and consciences, which makes it very steep marching indeed, and produces a palpitation of the heart. They have no doubt that it is a damnable business in which they are concerned; they are all peaceably inclined. Now, what are they? Men at all? or small movable forts and magazines, at the service of some unscrupulous man in power? Visit the Navy Yard, and behold a marine, such a man as an American government can make, or such as it can make a man with its black arts--a mere shadow and reminiscence of humanity, a man laid out alive and standing, and already, as one may say, buried under arms with funeral accompaniment…
The mass of men serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the standing army, and the militia, jailers, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgement or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well. Such command no more respect than men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs.
How does it become a man to behave toward the American government today? I answer, that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it. I cannot for an instant recognize that political organization as my government which is the slave's government also.
All men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable. But almost all say that such is not the case now. But such was the case, they think, in the Revolution of 1775. If one were to tell me that this was a bad government because it taxed certain foreign commodities brought to its ports, it is most probable that I should not make an ado about it, for I can do without them. All machines have their friction; and possibly this does enough good to counter-balance the evil. At any rate, it is a great evil to make a stir about it. But when the friction comes to have its machine, and oppression and robbery are organized, I say, let us not have such a machine any longer. In other words, when a sixth of the population of a nation which has undertaken to be the refuge of liberty are slaves, and a whole country is unjustly overrun and conquered by a foreign army, and subjected to military law, I think that it is not too soon for honest men to rebel and revolutionize. What makes this duty the more urgent is that fact that the country so overrun is not our own, but ours is the invading army.
There are thousands who are in opinion opposed to slavery and to the war, who yet in effect do nothing to put an end to them; who, esteeming themselves children of Washington and Franklin, sit down with their hands in their pockets, and say that they know not what to do, and do nothing; who even postpone the question of freedom to the question of free trade, and quietly read the prices-current along with the latest advices from Mexico, after dinner, and, it may be, fall asleep over them both. What is the price-current of an honest man and patriot today? They hesitate, and they regret, and sometimes they petition; but they do nothing in earnest and with effect. They will wait, well disposed, for other to remedy the evil, that they may no longer have it to regret.
I hear of a convention to be held at Baltimore, or elsewhere, for the selection of a candidate for the Presidency, made up chiefly of editors, and men who are politicians by profession; but I think, what is it to any independent, intelligent, and respectable man what decision they may come to? Shall we not have the advantage of this wisdom and honesty, nevertheless? Can we not count upon some independent votes? Are there not many individuals in the country who do not attend conventions? But no: I find that the respectable man, so called, has immediately drifted from his position, and despairs of his country, when his country has more reasons to despair of him. He forthwith adopts one of the candidates thus selected as the only available one, thus proving that he is himself available for any purposes of the demagogue. His vote is of no more worth than that of any unprincipled foreigner or hireling native, who may have been bought.
The broadest and most prevalent error requires the most disinterested virtue to sustain it. The slight reproach to which the virtue of patriotism is commonly liable, the noble are most likely to incur. Those who, while they disapprove of the character and measures of a government, yield to it their allegiance and support are undoubtedly its most conscientious supporters, and so frequently the most serious obstacles to reform.
Unjust laws exist: shall we be content to obey them, or shall we endeavor to amend them, and obey them until we have succeeded, or shall we transgress them at once? Men, generally, under such a government as this, think that they ought to wait until they have persuaded the majority to alter them. They think that, if they should resist, the remedy would be worse than the evil.
If the injustice is part of the necessary friction of the machine of government, let it go, let it go: perchance it will wear smooth--certainly the machine will wear out. If the injustice has a spring, or a pulley, or a rope, or a crank, exclusively for itself, then perhaps you may consider whether the remedy will not be worse than the evil; but if it is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter-friction to stop the machine. What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn.
Under a government which imprisons unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison. The proper place today, the only place which Massachusetts has provided for her freer and less despondent spirits, is in her prisons….
"But what shall I do?" my answer is, "If you really wish to do anything, resign your office." When the subject has refused allegiance, and the officer has resigned from office, then the revolution is accomplished.
I do not wish to quarrel with any man or nation. I do not wish to split hairs, to make fine distinctions, or set myself up as better than my neighbors. I seek rather, I may say, even an excuse for conforming to the laws of the land. I am but too ready to conform to them. Indeed, I have reason to suspect myself on this head; and each year, as the tax-gatherer comes round, I find myself disposed to review the acts and position of the general and State governments, and the spirit of the people to discover a pretext for conformity.
Even the Chinese philosopher was wise enough to regard the individual as the basis of the empire. Is a democracy, such as we know it, the last improvement possible in government? Is it not possible to take a step further towards recognizing and organizing the rights of man? There will never be a really free and enlightened State until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived, and treats him accordingly. I please myself with imagining a State at last which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling with it, nor embraced by it, who fulfilled all the duties of neighbors and fellow men. A State which bore this kind of fruit, and suffered it to drop off as fast as it ripened, would prepare the way for a still more perfect and glorious State, which I have also imagined, but not yet anywhere seen.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Long Weekend
Greetings and Salutations,
It's the long weekend here in Canada as it is Thanksgiving weekend. I am enjoying the fact that I will get Monday off.
I bought some more furniture for my place but it won't be ready until Friday. I bought a tv stand and a coffee table. I still need a desk. I saw one online but it is temporarily out of stock. It's been out of stock for a few weeks so I don't know if it will permanently be out of stock or will be available soon.
* * *
My Cogeco bill issue was resolved. I got a copy of my where my cheque went from my bank and faxed it over to Cogeco. I called them 2 days later and they said it was sorted out. Since I never bothered to pay my bill because of this issue, I probably accrued some late charges. I stated that I didn't want late charges since this wasn't my fault. There was only $0.72 of a late charge but I didn't want to pay it. I figured for their fuck up I should get a free month service. The woman was not authorized to do so, so she transferred me to her supervisor. The supervisor didn't think I should get one since they credited the $.72. I told him that the company was being sloppy and I had to go out of my way to deal with this issue. I also stated that I was a bit worried and that it is unacceptable to be treating someone else's money this way. The supervisor seemed very firm about not wanting to give me a month credit of service but I persisted. I said that I went out of my way to call my bank and then I had to fax back to Cogeco this information, again going out of my way and taking some of my time to correct their mistake. (Italics were used to illustrate the words that I was emphasizing during our conversation) He offered a week free of service. I paused and thought that was fair enough. I figured that they would have felt more bad about this mistake and want to make it up to me.
Cogeco you may have the monopoly on high speed internet but that doesn't mean you can make mistakes with billing and think you can get away with!
Fuck you Cogeco!
It's the long weekend here in Canada as it is Thanksgiving weekend. I am enjoying the fact that I will get Monday off.
I bought some more furniture for my place but it won't be ready until Friday. I bought a tv stand and a coffee table. I still need a desk. I saw one online but it is temporarily out of stock. It's been out of stock for a few weeks so I don't know if it will permanently be out of stock or will be available soon.
My Cogeco bill issue was resolved. I got a copy of my where my cheque went from my bank and faxed it over to Cogeco. I called them 2 days later and they said it was sorted out. Since I never bothered to pay my bill because of this issue, I probably accrued some late charges. I stated that I didn't want late charges since this wasn't my fault. There was only $0.72 of a late charge but I didn't want to pay it. I figured for their fuck up I should get a free month service. The woman was not authorized to do so, so she transferred me to her supervisor. The supervisor didn't think I should get one since they credited the $.72. I told him that the company was being sloppy and I had to go out of my way to deal with this issue. I also stated that I was a bit worried and that it is unacceptable to be treating someone else's money this way. The supervisor seemed very firm about not wanting to give me a month credit of service but I persisted. I said that I went out of my way to call my bank and then I had to fax back to Cogeco this information, again going out of my way and taking some of my time to correct their mistake. (Italics were used to illustrate the words that I was emphasizing during our conversation) He offered a week free of service. I paused and thought that was fair enough. I figured that they would have felt more bad about this mistake and want to make it up to me.
Cogeco you may have the monopoly on high speed internet but that doesn't mean you can make mistakes with billing and think you can get away with!
Fuck you Cogeco!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Miscellaneous Stuff
Greetings and Salutations,
I bought some plants for my place. There are a few more that I will buy. I want to put a couple more in my kitchen and probably 1 or 2 in my bedroom. I read that at night plants take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide but in order for it to be bad for humans, there has to be pounds and pounds of plants for it to be equivalent to how much oxygen a human consumes. Some Feng Shui sites suggest not to have plants in your bedroom but I'm not really into feng shui.
I think I will put a plant or two in my bedroom. It can't be that bad.
I got plants because I read this book called How To Grow Fresh Air and it shows the top 50 houseplants that are good for removing various chemicals that are commonly found indoors such as formaldehyde, ammonia and other chemicals. NASA had used plants to create a livable environment in space.
I'm not really a plant person but I find plants have a certain energy that I like. They are life forms even though it may not seem like it because they are so quiet.
* * *
I plan on having an apartment warming party. I haven't had a party since I was in elementary school for my birthday. I think my last party was in grade 6. I only invited 6-7 kids. I don't know why I didn't invite more but I guess maybe my mother didn't want too many kids over. I invited the most popular girl in my class and she bought me a curling iron. I never used it.
I hope that I have a good turnout. I invited friends from my various social groups. Friends from improv, my book group, work and my miscellaneous friends. I want to see them all merge as part of some social science experiment.
* * *
I'm having problems with my Cogeco bill. Cogeco is a company that provides internet. I had internet installed right away at my place because I wanted a digital phone. When the tech installed the internet, I gave him a cheque that covered the internet for a month and its installation. I was told to do this when I placed my order.
I received my bill about 1.5-2 weeks ago and saw that it didn't show that my cheque was received. I checked my bank account and saw that the money was withdrawn back in August. I called them up Monday and apparently they never received it. The cheque had my old address on it so they checked to see if the money went to my parent's account. It did not. I was notified that I was to contact my bank so they could track it. I will have to call on Friday as it takes a few days to do.
I don't think the tech stole the money since I wrote the cheque to Cogeco. I figure there must have been some mistake in their billing department. I think I will try to get a free month or 2 of internet for my trouble. I might as well benefit from these incompetent jerks' errors.
I bought some plants for my place. There are a few more that I will buy. I want to put a couple more in my kitchen and probably 1 or 2 in my bedroom. I read that at night plants take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide but in order for it to be bad for humans, there has to be pounds and pounds of plants for it to be equivalent to how much oxygen a human consumes. Some Feng Shui sites suggest not to have plants in your bedroom but I'm not really into feng shui.
I think I will put a plant or two in my bedroom. It can't be that bad.
I got plants because I read this book called How To Grow Fresh Air and it shows the top 50 houseplants that are good for removing various chemicals that are commonly found indoors such as formaldehyde, ammonia and other chemicals. NASA had used plants to create a livable environment in space.
I'm not really a plant person but I find plants have a certain energy that I like. They are life forms even though it may not seem like it because they are so quiet.
I plan on having an apartment warming party. I haven't had a party since I was in elementary school for my birthday. I think my last party was in grade 6. I only invited 6-7 kids. I don't know why I didn't invite more but I guess maybe my mother didn't want too many kids over. I invited the most popular girl in my class and she bought me a curling iron. I never used it.
I hope that I have a good turnout. I invited friends from my various social groups. Friends from improv, my book group, work and my miscellaneous friends. I want to see them all merge as part of some social science experiment.
I'm having problems with my Cogeco bill. Cogeco is a company that provides internet. I had internet installed right away at my place because I wanted a digital phone. When the tech installed the internet, I gave him a cheque that covered the internet for a month and its installation. I was told to do this when I placed my order.
I received my bill about 1.5-2 weeks ago and saw that it didn't show that my cheque was received. I checked my bank account and saw that the money was withdrawn back in August. I called them up Monday and apparently they never received it. The cheque had my old address on it so they checked to see if the money went to my parent's account. It did not. I was notified that I was to contact my bank so they could track it. I will have to call on Friday as it takes a few days to do.
I don't think the tech stole the money since I wrote the cheque to Cogeco. I figure there must have been some mistake in their billing department. I think I will try to get a free month or 2 of internet for my trouble. I might as well benefit from these incompetent jerks' errors.
Monday, August 27, 2007
The Harsh Reality of Singledom
Greetings and Salutations,
In this post I will be discussing singledom and its harsh reality.
I have for the most part of my life been single. I have had a couple of relationships that were over 8 months. One being for over a year I think. It was my first relationship and probably my worst!
Most times I date someone and it lasts for 3-4 months.
Many people seem to think that being single is great or they will tell me how important it is to be able to be by yourself.
Let me tell you it's not fun. It's not fun to always look to yourself to figure out things. It's not fun to go to social events by yourself. It's not fun during Valentine's Day. It's not fun when you're always surrounded by people who are in relationships. It's not fun knowing that you essentially are facing this life alone.
Let me also tell you that I think it's not fair that someone like me has endured years of suffering as a single person. I am proactive in my dating life but no one I find is compatible for my personality. I don't think it's fair that people younger then me find someone and are happy. I don't think it's fair that some of my older friends have found each other in their early 20s and they are still happily married.
I think this whole being single is good for you because you get to learn to be alone is a myth. I can have my solitude and still have someone. I don't need to be alone to figure out who I am.
I don't mean anything. I'm not loved. I'm not important in anyone's life. I'm nothing.
Love from my mother or my friends doesn't count. The love you get from someone when you are in a relationship is unique and I don't have it.
I usually like to be optimistic but I'm forced to accept that I perhaps will be a spinster and that if I haven't found someone by now, I may never. I'll always be this amazing people who never found someone.
In this post I will be discussing singledom and its harsh reality.
I have for the most part of my life been single. I have had a couple of relationships that were over 8 months. One being for over a year I think. It was my first relationship and probably my worst!
Most times I date someone and it lasts for 3-4 months.
Many people seem to think that being single is great or they will tell me how important it is to be able to be by yourself.
Let me tell you it's not fun. It's not fun to always look to yourself to figure out things. It's not fun to go to social events by yourself. It's not fun during Valentine's Day. It's not fun when you're always surrounded by people who are in relationships. It's not fun knowing that you essentially are facing this life alone.
Let me also tell you that I think it's not fair that someone like me has endured years of suffering as a single person. I am proactive in my dating life but no one I find is compatible for my personality. I don't think it's fair that people younger then me find someone and are happy. I don't think it's fair that some of my older friends have found each other in their early 20s and they are still happily married.
I think this whole being single is good for you because you get to learn to be alone is a myth. I can have my solitude and still have someone. I don't need to be alone to figure out who I am.
I don't mean anything. I'm not loved. I'm not important in anyone's life. I'm nothing.
Love from my mother or my friends doesn't count. The love you get from someone when you are in a relationship is unique and I don't have it.
I usually like to be optimistic but I'm forced to accept that I perhaps will be a spinster and that if I haven't found someone by now, I may never. I'll always be this amazing people who never found someone.
My Experience with Ortho C Lenses - Part 2
Greetings and Salutations,
I have been wearing my ortho c lenses for a few minutes a day up to 4 or 5 times a week. I thought these lenses were supposed to improve my vision to -4, however I was to wear them to help retain and stabilize my 2 diopter improvement.
I went yesterday for a new lens. I was only given one for my left eye. Apparently getting a new lens helps to improve both eyes. I thought that was strange but it does make sense since your eyes work together.
I did improve one line (based on the Snellan chart) and I will be receiving a prescription for -4.5 this week. It's not much of a change but at least it is something.
I have been wearing my ortho c lenses for a few minutes a day up to 4 or 5 times a week. I thought these lenses were supposed to improve my vision to -4, however I was to wear them to help retain and stabilize my 2 diopter improvement.
I went yesterday for a new lens. I was only given one for my left eye. Apparently getting a new lens helps to improve both eyes. I thought that was strange but it does make sense since your eyes work together.
I did improve one line (based on the Snellan chart) and I will be receiving a prescription for -4.5 this week. It's not much of a change but at least it is something.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
A Flurry of Anger
Greetings and Salutations,
This week I have noticed an unusual amount of anger from people. It all started Sunday at my company soccer game. Where I work, there are different offices. One is in Mississauga, another in Windsor and one here in Burlington. We had a soccer game this Sunday against the Mississauga folks. We didn't have a ref and this probably was where it started to go wrong. The other team was taking this game way too seriously and they were constantly making calls against our team such as the goalie was too far out of his crease or that we were offside. This eventually caused a meltdown that involved uncalled for shoving that potentially could have lead to an actual fist fit had some people not attempted to stop this. It was decided to take a time out. The President of the company showed up at this point.
On Tuesday I went to the grocery store to purchase various items. I was nearly done and was in the bread section when I heard some woman yelling at these women. From my understanding it sounded like these women bumped into this woman and this woman didn't think their apology was enough. I think the women that bumped into this women were Muslims as well.
Another incident of anger occurred on Thursday at my office. Someone forwarded some email that showed how the people in the middle east had created their own winter wonderland. The caption, which I guess was created to incite anger in the viewer, was stating that this is how they are using the money that is generated from the rate increase in oil. The person who forwarded this email said in this email, "Fuck Arabs".
The final incident of anger I experienced in my apartment this morning. It was coming from down the hall. At first I thought it was either one of those yapper dogs yelping or some human having a freakout. It turns out it was a woman having a freakout. I heard words along the lines of "How could you bring her in...". I am guessing perhaps she caught her man cheating on her. I really can't say for sure but having someone have an emotional freak out like this just made me rather uncomfortable.
I really don't know what is going on with people this week. It seems like there is an unusual flurry of anger going on. You know there is this popular belief that Canadians are polite, but as a Canadian, there are many rude and ignorant Canadians. I choose to debunk this myth of Canadians being polite. We are just as fucked up and ignorant as anyone else. Away with this squeaky clean image! This week has showed me how emotionally immature people can be.
This week I have noticed an unusual amount of anger from people. It all started Sunday at my company soccer game. Where I work, there are different offices. One is in Mississauga, another in Windsor and one here in Burlington. We had a soccer game this Sunday against the Mississauga folks. We didn't have a ref and this probably was where it started to go wrong. The other team was taking this game way too seriously and they were constantly making calls against our team such as the goalie was too far out of his crease or that we were offside. This eventually caused a meltdown that involved uncalled for shoving that potentially could have lead to an actual fist fit had some people not attempted to stop this. It was decided to take a time out. The President of the company showed up at this point.
On Tuesday I went to the grocery store to purchase various items. I was nearly done and was in the bread section when I heard some woman yelling at these women. From my understanding it sounded like these women bumped into this woman and this woman didn't think their apology was enough. I think the women that bumped into this women were Muslims as well.
Another incident of anger occurred on Thursday at my office. Someone forwarded some email that showed how the people in the middle east had created their own winter wonderland. The caption, which I guess was created to incite anger in the viewer, was stating that this is how they are using the money that is generated from the rate increase in oil. The person who forwarded this email said in this email, "Fuck Arabs".
The final incident of anger I experienced in my apartment this morning. It was coming from down the hall. At first I thought it was either one of those yapper dogs yelping or some human having a freakout. It turns out it was a woman having a freakout. I heard words along the lines of "How could you bring her in...". I am guessing perhaps she caught her man cheating on her. I really can't say for sure but having someone have an emotional freak out like this just made me rather uncomfortable.
I really don't know what is going on with people this week. It seems like there is an unusual flurry of anger going on. You know there is this popular belief that Canadians are polite, but as a Canadian, there are many rude and ignorant Canadians. I choose to debunk this myth of Canadians being polite. We are just as fucked up and ignorant as anyone else. Away with this squeaky clean image! This week has showed me how emotionally immature people can be.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Wonderings
Greetings and Salutations,
At my current employer, there are various departments that have moved and my department is one of them. We moved from the office to another location that is about a 5 minute drive. My small department did not particularly care for this move. We routinely go out for breaks together and we began chatting up with a couple of guys from the old office. One person in our department, a lesbian, has an ex girlfriend that is working in the same building that we just moved into. We had found out some guys were attempting to hit on our co worker's ex (which they didn't know was her ex or that she was a lesbian).
So this topic that is not about me, leads me back to me. My dilemma is this. Why is a lesbian getting hit on more then I am, an attractive single woman? I have to be honest with you beloved audience but the truth is I don't get hit on very much. This question has plagued me for years. Why do I not get approached very often? The best answer I could come up with is that I am probably so attractive and intimidating. I know that despite the fact that I am brimming with confidence, I am just one of many in the sea of sexy.
But let's be honest, I really don't like to think I'm intimidating. I have my fears and insecurities that come and go just like everyone else.
If I reflect upon my body language and my personality, I think I probably come off as either aloof or as someone who doesn't take bullshit. And perhaps this is what the male species finds intimidating about a personality such as myself. This issue perhaps may never be solved. The fact remains that the male species are a simple lot and the female brain is best not suited to analyze.
At my current employer, there are various departments that have moved and my department is one of them. We moved from the office to another location that is about a 5 minute drive. My small department did not particularly care for this move. We routinely go out for breaks together and we began chatting up with a couple of guys from the old office. One person in our department, a lesbian, has an ex girlfriend that is working in the same building that we just moved into. We had found out some guys were attempting to hit on our co worker's ex (which they didn't know was her ex or that she was a lesbian).
So this topic that is not about me, leads me back to me. My dilemma is this. Why is a lesbian getting hit on more then I am, an attractive single woman? I have to be honest with you beloved audience but the truth is I don't get hit on very much. This question has plagued me for years. Why do I not get approached very often? The best answer I could come up with is that I am probably so attractive and intimidating. I know that despite the fact that I am brimming with confidence, I am just one of many in the sea of sexy.
But let's be honest, I really don't like to think I'm intimidating. I have my fears and insecurities that come and go just like everyone else.
If I reflect upon my body language and my personality, I think I probably come off as either aloof or as someone who doesn't take bullshit. And perhaps this is what the male species finds intimidating about a personality such as myself. This issue perhaps may never be solved. The fact remains that the male species are a simple lot and the female brain is best not suited to analyze.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Living on My Own
Greetings and Salutations,
I have officially moved into my new apartment on Friday night. I had my Last Supper with my parents and slept over in my new place. I used to have a desk but I got all new furniture and now I don't have a desk. At least not yet. In my previous desk, I had 4 drawers where I kept things such as my financial information, random papers, markers, old health cards and drivers licenses, my firearms handbook and my underwear.
For years I never questioned why I put my underwear and socks in my desk drawer because I did have a mirror dresser, but I believe a year or two ago I wondered why I would put those intimates in such a none intimate object of furniture.
So now that I don't have a desk, I am forced to put my financial information, random papers, markers, old health cards and drivers licenses, my firearms handbook and my underwear in either my dresser or mirror dresser.
* * *
I went out on Saturday by myself to Ikea and purchased a bookshelf. It's large and I managed to only fill half of it with stuff. I had difficulty getting the bookshelf into the car and I had to place it diagonally. I also had to lay flat the passenger seat and also I had to pull the driver's seat all the way up. It was not easy driving back home with the steering wheel practically right up my nose but luckily I am only a 5 minute drive.
Also nobody from Ikea was helping me to load these heavy and long boxes.
Thanks Ikea!
It took me several hours to assemble it and I had to do the backing but since I had no hammer, I decided to stop at that point and I thought perhaps my father would help me. I had placed the backing on the shelf and I noticed how the backing fit nicely on the one side of the shelf but the second piece was not. I figured this was just the way Ikea designed the bookshelf. Afterall it's Ikea and it was made in Poland. I also thought it would have been so much simpler if I had bought the wood myself, cut it and screwed them together. I find assembling Ikea is too complicated. I must have been assembling this for at least 6 hours.
So the next day my parents came over and my dad nailed the backing to the shelf and when we stood it up, we noticed that the holes on the one side of the shelf weren't lining up properly. It turns out that I had placed the one piece backwards. I was rather pissed and went to my balcony to gather my thoughts, thoughts such as "Fuck you Ikea" and "Fuck you fucken Ikea" and my favourite "Cocksucking Ikea".
I went back in and we took out some of the nails from the backing and underscrewed the bottom and shelves. It was rather difficult to get the piece out and it was also difficult getting it back in but after much yelling between my parents, it managed to get successfully put back together.
I have officially moved into my new apartment on Friday night. I had my Last Supper with my parents and slept over in my new place. I used to have a desk but I got all new furniture and now I don't have a desk. At least not yet. In my previous desk, I had 4 drawers where I kept things such as my financial information, random papers, markers, old health cards and drivers licenses, my firearms handbook and my underwear.
For years I never questioned why I put my underwear and socks in my desk drawer because I did have a mirror dresser, but I believe a year or two ago I wondered why I would put those intimates in such a none intimate object of furniture.
So now that I don't have a desk, I am forced to put my financial information, random papers, markers, old health cards and drivers licenses, my firearms handbook and my underwear in either my dresser or mirror dresser.
I went out on Saturday by myself to Ikea and purchased a bookshelf. It's large and I managed to only fill half of it with stuff. I had difficulty getting the bookshelf into the car and I had to place it diagonally. I also had to lay flat the passenger seat and also I had to pull the driver's seat all the way up. It was not easy driving back home with the steering wheel practically right up my nose but luckily I am only a 5 minute drive.
Also nobody from Ikea was helping me to load these heavy and long boxes.
Thanks Ikea!
It took me several hours to assemble it and I had to do the backing but since I had no hammer, I decided to stop at that point and I thought perhaps my father would help me. I had placed the backing on the shelf and I noticed how the backing fit nicely on the one side of the shelf but the second piece was not. I figured this was just the way Ikea designed the bookshelf. Afterall it's Ikea and it was made in Poland. I also thought it would have been so much simpler if I had bought the wood myself, cut it and screwed them together. I find assembling Ikea is too complicated. I must have been assembling this for at least 6 hours.
So the next day my parents came over and my dad nailed the backing to the shelf and when we stood it up, we noticed that the holes on the one side of the shelf weren't lining up properly. It turns out that I had placed the one piece backwards. I was rather pissed and went to my balcony to gather my thoughts, thoughts such as "Fuck you Ikea" and "Fuck you fucken Ikea" and my favourite "Cocksucking Ikea".
I went back in and we took out some of the nails from the backing and underscrewed the bottom and shelves. It was rather difficult to get the piece out and it was also difficult getting it back in but after much yelling between my parents, it managed to get successfully put back together.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
My Experience with Ortho C Lenses - Part 1
Greeting and Salutations,
I have been interested in improving my vision for several years now. I have researched lasik and ortho k but neither appealed to me. I had stumbled to a web site that offers an alternative to the above methods. The web site is called Reversing Nearsightedness. The person who created this technique is John William Yee and he calls this methodology Orthoculogy or ortho c for short. It is a natural form of eye therapy. I had purchased his book and I actually got to order my lens through him. He is located in Toronto.
Ortho C are semi hard contact lenses that you wear a few times a week for under 15 minutes. The book outlines the specifications for the lenses. They are also plain lenses in that they have no prescription.
Two weeks ago I went for my fitting and this Sunday (July 29) I went to pick them up and I got to try them. I only wore them for about 2 minutes. He first made me wear them on one eye at a time and then I got to wear them on both eyes. The lenses made me tear up but he did tell me that that would go away after wearing them a few times.
After wearing them individually on each eye, he checked my acuity. I got to rest my eyes for a few minutes and then I got to wear them on both eyes together for a few minutes. He had me look outside and scan various images. I looked at objects nearby and far away and kept shifting and moving my eyes at the various distant objects.
He tested my visual acuity again with the eye chart and I noticed that there was an improvement. My myopia is moderately high and so with the first time looking at the eye chart, it looked quite blurry. After my second time wearing them, the blur noticibly improved.
My prescription is -8.5 in my right eye and -8 in my left eye. After those few minutes of wearing these lenses, my vision now is -6.
I chose to start using contact lenses because I will now need to start wearing a weaker prescription and since my prescription will change frequently, it is easier to get new contacts rather then keep going to get my glasses changed. It felt weird to be wearing contacts again because I used to wear way back when I was in high school.
Mr. Yee has used these Ortho C lenses on the Toronto Police Department to help them pass the visual acuity test.
I will be receiving today or tomorrow a prescription for -4.75 so I look forward to wearing the lenses again once I receive this new prescription.
I have been interested in improving my vision for several years now. I have researched lasik and ortho k but neither appealed to me. I had stumbled to a web site that offers an alternative to the above methods. The web site is called Reversing Nearsightedness. The person who created this technique is John William Yee and he calls this methodology Orthoculogy or ortho c for short. It is a natural form of eye therapy. I had purchased his book and I actually got to order my lens through him. He is located in Toronto.
Ortho C are semi hard contact lenses that you wear a few times a week for under 15 minutes. The book outlines the specifications for the lenses. They are also plain lenses in that they have no prescription.
Two weeks ago I went for my fitting and this Sunday (July 29) I went to pick them up and I got to try them. I only wore them for about 2 minutes. He first made me wear them on one eye at a time and then I got to wear them on both eyes. The lenses made me tear up but he did tell me that that would go away after wearing them a few times.
After wearing them individually on each eye, he checked my acuity. I got to rest my eyes for a few minutes and then I got to wear them on both eyes together for a few minutes. He had me look outside and scan various images. I looked at objects nearby and far away and kept shifting and moving my eyes at the various distant objects.
He tested my visual acuity again with the eye chart and I noticed that there was an improvement. My myopia is moderately high and so with the first time looking at the eye chart, it looked quite blurry. After my second time wearing them, the blur noticibly improved.
My prescription is -8.5 in my right eye and -8 in my left eye. After those few minutes of wearing these lenses, my vision now is -6.
I chose to start using contact lenses because I will now need to start wearing a weaker prescription and since my prescription will change frequently, it is easier to get new contacts rather then keep going to get my glasses changed. It felt weird to be wearing contacts again because I used to wear way back when I was in high school.
Mr. Yee has used these Ortho C lenses on the Toronto Police Department to help them pass the visual acuity test.
I will be receiving today or tomorrow a prescription for -4.75 so I look forward to wearing the lenses again once I receive this new prescription.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Moving on Up
Greetings and Salutations,
I am officially moving out of the parent's house. I have a 2 bedroom apartment in the Burlington area. I have essentially lived in the same house for 28 years with a 4 month stint living on my own in Yellowknife. I'm looking forward to moving out. There was a moment that I thought how I will miss my parents but that moment quickly faded away as I began to think about how this is a significant moment for me as an aspiring adult.
I went furniture shopping yesterday and during the week I went out with my mom a couple of times to get stuff for the kitchen like glasses and pots and pans. I had agreed with my parents earlier that they would get me a mattress and new bed for when I moved out. They now want to spend more and get more things for me. We went shopping yesterday for furniture. I ended up picking out a leather sofa and chair, a kitchen table that matches the sofa set, a memory foam mattress and a bedroom set. I had to argue with my dad that I wanted to pay for my bedroom set because I didn't want them to pay for everything.
The whole point of moving out is to be independent. I don't mind if they get me some stuff as a gift but my dad was insistent on buying me more things. He said I should buy the tv and dvd set as well. I wanted to wait for that stuff since I wasn't planning on getting cable right away as I do not watch much tv. My parents were willing to spend $10,000 on stuff for me and I told them that I don't even expect to spend half that. I have to buy my own stuff. My dad thinks I'm being stubborn but it just is too weird if they buy everything for me.
I now have to find a roommate. I am showing my place to someone tomorrow. I am a bit concerned. I don't expect to find someone until September and the worst case would be finding someone for October. I want a female roommate because if I get a male roommate, I would be tempted to get one that is attractive and then I'll want to bang him. If I were sharing a place with more then 2 people then I wouldn't mind a male because then my libido would be diluted but if it's just me and a guy... I most likely want to bang him or at least think about banging him.
I am officially moving out of the parent's house. I have a 2 bedroom apartment in the Burlington area. I have essentially lived in the same house for 28 years with a 4 month stint living on my own in Yellowknife. I'm looking forward to moving out. There was a moment that I thought how I will miss my parents but that moment quickly faded away as I began to think about how this is a significant moment for me as an aspiring adult.
I went furniture shopping yesterday and during the week I went out with my mom a couple of times to get stuff for the kitchen like glasses and pots and pans. I had agreed with my parents earlier that they would get me a mattress and new bed for when I moved out. They now want to spend more and get more things for me. We went shopping yesterday for furniture. I ended up picking out a leather sofa and chair, a kitchen table that matches the sofa set, a memory foam mattress and a bedroom set. I had to argue with my dad that I wanted to pay for my bedroom set because I didn't want them to pay for everything.
The whole point of moving out is to be independent. I don't mind if they get me some stuff as a gift but my dad was insistent on buying me more things. He said I should buy the tv and dvd set as well. I wanted to wait for that stuff since I wasn't planning on getting cable right away as I do not watch much tv. My parents were willing to spend $10,000 on stuff for me and I told them that I don't even expect to spend half that. I have to buy my own stuff. My dad thinks I'm being stubborn but it just is too weird if they buy everything for me.
I now have to find a roommate. I am showing my place to someone tomorrow. I am a bit concerned. I don't expect to find someone until September and the worst case would be finding someone for October. I want a female roommate because if I get a male roommate, I would be tempted to get one that is attractive and then I'll want to bang him. If I were sharing a place with more then 2 people then I wouldn't mind a male because then my libido would be diluted but if it's just me and a guy... I most likely want to bang him or at least think about banging him.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Slightly drifting into adulthood
Greetings and Salutations loyal readers,
It is a beautiful breezy day today. Normally it is humid.
I am planning to finally move out of my parent's house. I have looked at some places and found one that I like. I have one more that I need to view before I make my decision. I will either be out in August or September. My parents are driving me nuts. They don't bother me much. I usually come and go as I please. Maybe when I was a few years younger my mother would ask me the next day where was I if I stayed out late but I usually reply that I was out. Yeah Mom do you really want to know that I was late having sex with my 'special friend'. I do have a social filter!
It's time to fly the coop.
* * *
As an improvisor and one that is involved in being funny, there are periods in my life where I don't feel funny at all. I feel like I have lost all ability to make jokes. I think it's part of the creative process for me to lose all interest in comedy. It's also pretty tough when a portion of your self identity is linked to traits such as being funny and intelligent and then finding that these traits are just not there. It brings forth questions about my self identity and involves me assessing my self and my concepts.
I do believe breaks are necessary but it's just weird.
Another one of my favourite activities that I had lost motivation for was that of sexual intercourse. It has been a month but I feel my libido returning.
It is a beautiful breezy day today. Normally it is humid.
I am planning to finally move out of my parent's house. I have looked at some places and found one that I like. I have one more that I need to view before I make my decision. I will either be out in August or September. My parents are driving me nuts. They don't bother me much. I usually come and go as I please. Maybe when I was a few years younger my mother would ask me the next day where was I if I stayed out late but I usually reply that I was out. Yeah Mom do you really want to know that I was late having sex with my 'special friend'. I do have a social filter!
It's time to fly the coop.
As an improvisor and one that is involved in being funny, there are periods in my life where I don't feel funny at all. I feel like I have lost all ability to make jokes. I think it's part of the creative process for me to lose all interest in comedy. It's also pretty tough when a portion of your self identity is linked to traits such as being funny and intelligent and then finding that these traits are just not there. It brings forth questions about my self identity and involves me assessing my self and my concepts.
I do believe breaks are necessary but it's just weird.
Another one of my favourite activities that I had lost motivation for was that of sexual intercourse. It has been a month but I feel my libido returning.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Happy Canada Day
Today is Canada Day.
Canada is celebrating 140 years of independence.
It's a time to get drunk,
A time to go fishing.
A time for friends.
A time to get yourself knocked up... come on think about how many April babies there are!
Go Canada Go!
Canada is celebrating 140 years of independence.
It's a time to get drunk,
A time to go fishing.
A time for friends.
A time to get yourself knocked up... come on think about how many April babies there are!
Go Canada Go!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Boredom Rant
Greetings and Salutations,
I'm going to be complaining in this post. I generally do not like to complain but I feel that this is something I must express.
I'm am becoming increasingly bored with my life. I take responsibility for my life and I do not blame anyone. I'm so bored with my job. I'm tired of where I am and I want more out of my life. I'm tired of my menial jobs and I want to do something else but I am just not sure. I'm keeping my options open. I could go back to school but I just don't know what to do. I also have been thinking of doing stand up comedy again but I just don't know if that's right. I have been thinking about how can I incorporate improv into stand up. I think it's been done.
I'm just a barrel of confusion.
I'm bored.
Bored fucking bored.
I can't go on like this.
I must break out but sometimes I just don't know if I can.
I'm going to be complaining in this post. I generally do not like to complain but I feel that this is something I must express.
I'm am becoming increasingly bored with my life. I take responsibility for my life and I do not blame anyone. I'm so bored with my job. I'm tired of where I am and I want more out of my life. I'm tired of my menial jobs and I want to do something else but I am just not sure. I'm keeping my options open. I could go back to school but I just don't know what to do. I also have been thinking of doing stand up comedy again but I just don't know if that's right. I have been thinking about how can I incorporate improv into stand up. I think it's been done.
I'm just a barrel of confusion.
I'm bored.
Bored fucking bored.
I can't go on like this.
I must break out but sometimes I just don't know if I can.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
More lessons learned from my vacation
Greetings and Salutations,
I have never really understood why people drink. It was always something that never made sense to me. It seemed self destructive. And now I finally understand why people drink. I have become enlightened to the virtues of alcohol consumption.
I have never really understood why people drink. It was always something that never made sense to me. It seemed self destructive. And now I finally understand why people drink. I have become enlightened to the virtues of alcohol consumption.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Greetings and Salutations,
I have returned from my vacation in Vancouver. I had moments where I was stuck by the simple acts of kindness of people towards me. Some girl in my hostel who helped me with bringing my luggage to my room which also was the same room she was in (it had 16 beds) as I had 2 suitcases (one was camping gear and the other being my clothes, toiletries, etc) and it was difficult carrying both. In the second hostel I stayed in, some guy bringing up my luggage up a flight of stairs. Some woman encouraging me and offering me advice while I was doing the Grouse Grind (i.e. climbing the Grouse mountain).
For me I have spent most of my life in great fear of people who I meet and I have spent many years breaking down my walls and becoming more confident in myself. I am greatly saddened that there are still people who are mean in this world. It doesn't make sense to me but it gives me some hope to see people showing some kindness to others.
I have returned from my vacation in Vancouver. I had moments where I was stuck by the simple acts of kindness of people towards me. Some girl in my hostel who helped me with bringing my luggage to my room which also was the same room she was in (it had 16 beds) as I had 2 suitcases (one was camping gear and the other being my clothes, toiletries, etc) and it was difficult carrying both. In the second hostel I stayed in, some guy bringing up my luggage up a flight of stairs. Some woman encouraging me and offering me advice while I was doing the Grouse Grind (i.e. climbing the Grouse mountain).
For me I have spent most of my life in great fear of people who I meet and I have spent many years breaking down my walls and becoming more confident in myself. I am greatly saddened that there are still people who are mean in this world. It doesn't make sense to me but it gives me some hope to see people showing some kindness to others.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Threat
Greetings and Salutations mon amies,
I am currently vacationing in Vancouver. I am exhausted because I went from my hostel on Jericho Beach all the way to Stanley Park and then I circled the entire perimeter of Stanley Park. I don't cycle and when I had to go up a mini hill or up the bridge, I would walk up with my bike since it was taking up too much of my energy. I'm in shape, but not in shape to cycle well.
I went to Vancouver Island on Monday morning and took the ferry. I went to Nanaimo and Tofino. I arrived in Tofino on Monday night and I stayed at a small hostel. Our host said it was karoke night and we all went to the pub where they were having it. Usually when I meet people for the first time, I am polite and quiet and I appear reserved. However, as someone who performs, I do have the capacity to be outgoing and out there. I sang 3 songs and my first was Baby Got Back. The crowd was a young fun crowd and there was a mini dance floor. After I was done, everyone was telling me how awesome I was and one cute guy who was staying at my hostel from Finland said it was the best karoke performance he ever saw. I was dancing while I was singing and the hostel host and a guest came up and danced along side me.
All right enough about me talking about how awesome and surprised they were by me as I appeared to be that shy, quiet girl. I don't know why I get quiet and shy when I meet people for the first time but it never made sense to me to be out there. I wish I was more outgoing but my shy demeanor does not keep me from going after the things I want.
The host seemed smitten with me and intrigued by my dual nature of shy and outgoing persona. As much as I love getting complimented, I reach a point where I feel it's enough. I don't think much of my karaoke as it is just karaoke.
So on Tuesday I had surfing lessons for 2 hours and practiced on my own for a bit. It was quite challenging but I did not manage to stand on the board. My arms and pec muscles are so sore. I think I will look into surfing in Ontario. I'm thinking there might be some pool that generates waves that let's one practice surfing.
I drove back to Nanaimo and waited for 30 minutes for the next ferry to Vancouver. There was a delay in the arrival. The ferry's speed slowed down and the captain or the captain's bitch (i.e. the second in command) announced that there was a situation which was why we were slowing down. The captain's bitch announced again another 10 minutes that there was a situation. Then the captain come on a few minutes later to announce that there was a bomb threat on Horsebay (i.e. where the ferry docks). I was calm at first but then I started thinking about how I didn't want to die yet. Most of the time I thought things would be fine but every once in a while I thought about that movie Titanic. This was only my second time on the ferry. A ferry newbie such as myself shouldn't be subjected to this.
I think perhaps this was a false alarm and we all arrived safely.
I am currently vacationing in Vancouver. I am exhausted because I went from my hostel on Jericho Beach all the way to Stanley Park and then I circled the entire perimeter of Stanley Park. I don't cycle and when I had to go up a mini hill or up the bridge, I would walk up with my bike since it was taking up too much of my energy. I'm in shape, but not in shape to cycle well.
I went to Vancouver Island on Monday morning and took the ferry. I went to Nanaimo and Tofino. I arrived in Tofino on Monday night and I stayed at a small hostel. Our host said it was karoke night and we all went to the pub where they were having it. Usually when I meet people for the first time, I am polite and quiet and I appear reserved. However, as someone who performs, I do have the capacity to be outgoing and out there. I sang 3 songs and my first was Baby Got Back. The crowd was a young fun crowd and there was a mini dance floor. After I was done, everyone was telling me how awesome I was and one cute guy who was staying at my hostel from Finland said it was the best karoke performance he ever saw. I was dancing while I was singing and the hostel host and a guest came up and danced along side me.
All right enough about me talking about how awesome and surprised they were by me as I appeared to be that shy, quiet girl. I don't know why I get quiet and shy when I meet people for the first time but it never made sense to me to be out there. I wish I was more outgoing but my shy demeanor does not keep me from going after the things I want.
The host seemed smitten with me and intrigued by my dual nature of shy and outgoing persona. As much as I love getting complimented, I reach a point where I feel it's enough. I don't think much of my karaoke as it is just karaoke.
So on Tuesday I had surfing lessons for 2 hours and practiced on my own for a bit. It was quite challenging but I did not manage to stand on the board. My arms and pec muscles are so sore. I think I will look into surfing in Ontario. I'm thinking there might be some pool that generates waves that let's one practice surfing.
I drove back to Nanaimo and waited for 30 minutes for the next ferry to Vancouver. There was a delay in the arrival. The ferry's speed slowed down and the captain or the captain's bitch (i.e. the second in command) announced that there was a situation which was why we were slowing down. The captain's bitch announced again another 10 minutes that there was a situation. Then the captain come on a few minutes later to announce that there was a bomb threat on Horsebay (i.e. where the ferry docks). I was calm at first but then I started thinking about how I didn't want to die yet. Most of the time I thought things would be fine but every once in a while I thought about that movie Titanic. This was only my second time on the ferry. A ferry newbie such as myself shouldn't be subjected to this.
I think perhaps this was a false alarm and we all arrived safely.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Not Much to Say
Greetings and Salutations,
I think I have reached the pinnacle of my self expression. I have not much to say in the world, to the world.
It's all bullshit and I wonder if my expressing myself just makes the world a more confusing place to live.
Everyone lies to some degree, whether to a partner or to themselves.
Everyone has some degree of selfishness, whether they are aware of it or not.
Everyone has some degree of negativity that skews their perception of events.
* * *
I don't know if I need to be more confrontational with people. I think due to my belief in non violence, it has led me to become weak. There are people out there I should beat up but I don't because I don't believe in violence. I don't want to get involved in drama. I only speak up when I feel necessary but I generally don't fight as much. I don't need to be dragged down by people's low emotional intelligence and their inability to deal with their internal strife.
I don't think I am complacent but sometimes I think maybe people need to see someone get angry at them. We are such a permissive society. Some people probably need to hear that they are acting like an asshole or a whore or too selfish. Sometimes we all need a stern warning about our behaviour.
I think I have reached the pinnacle of my self expression. I have not much to say in the world, to the world.
It's all bullshit and I wonder if my expressing myself just makes the world a more confusing place to live.
Everyone lies to some degree, whether to a partner or to themselves.
Everyone has some degree of selfishness, whether they are aware of it or not.
Everyone has some degree of negativity that skews their perception of events.
I don't know if I need to be more confrontational with people. I think due to my belief in non violence, it has led me to become weak. There are people out there I should beat up but I don't because I don't believe in violence. I don't want to get involved in drama. I only speak up when I feel necessary but I generally don't fight as much. I don't need to be dragged down by people's low emotional intelligence and their inability to deal with their internal strife.
I don't think I am complacent but sometimes I think maybe people need to see someone get angry at them. We are such a permissive society. Some people probably need to hear that they are acting like an asshole or a whore or too selfish. Sometimes we all need a stern warning about our behaviour.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Unamused
Greetings and Salutations,
I have regretably joined Facebook even though I did say that I would consider joining 6 months from now (I said this probably last month). Have I succumbed to social pressure or curiosity? Most likely curiosity. I am not impressed with this. The initial adrenlin rush of adding friends to my list is dissipating. As a pragmatist, I see very little use in how this tool would be useful in my life.
I did find my ex best friend whom I 'dumped' about 8 years ago because I felt our friendship was going weird. I have heard from her. If I were to rekindle a lost friendship, that one might be the one I think has some hope.
A friend from high school had several other people from high school on her list. Many of these people I didn't care for and I although I do not harbour resentment, I do not care to add them to my friends list. The reality of life is that we will encounter all these people and only a few we find some connection.
I looked at the friends list of several other people and they had over 500. I could not imagine having that many friends. Although I tend to get along with most people, I find it very difficult to have a geniune connection with most people. Why? I don't know. I know that I am different from people but I don't think I'm so unique that I can't relate to people.
Actually I don't think it's difficult for me to have a genuine connection with people. I think for many people, they have difficulty being open and honest with others because they are not open and honest with themselves.
I have also noticed many of the women under 30 use pictures of themselves with their wedding dress on. I wonder if it's because a)this is the only good picture of themself that they have available b)it's the most recent photo they have or c)because their identity is largely tied up with the idea that getting married is a sign one has made it.
I believe the answer is c. I believe for many of these young women, their self concept is largely defined by the fact that they now have someone and they place such value on marriage.
I am sure for some Facebook has been useful in their life. Facebook your time is ticking.
* * *
Many of my readers may not know this however I plan on taking a vacation to Vancouver this year from June 1-10. So if you are attracted to me, that would be a good time to 'accidently' run into me in Vancouver and you can profess your love for me and how amazing you think I am.
Yes this is one of my personal fantasies. A really tiny portion of my soul - probably .07% believes that some guy I know secretly harbours feelings for me but is too afraid to tell me in fear that I will break his heart by telling him I'm not interested. The odds of me telling a guy I am not interested and breaking his heart is quite high.
But the point is that I still harbour this fantasy of a guy I know harbouring feelings and then expressing them. It's not really the breaking his heart part that is my fantasy.
Anyways, I plan on white river rafting for 3 days. I really want to do that and everything else after that will be icing on the cake.
I have regretably joined Facebook even though I did say that I would consider joining 6 months from now (I said this probably last month). Have I succumbed to social pressure or curiosity? Most likely curiosity. I am not impressed with this. The initial adrenlin rush of adding friends to my list is dissipating. As a pragmatist, I see very little use in how this tool would be useful in my life.
I did find my ex best friend whom I 'dumped' about 8 years ago because I felt our friendship was going weird. I have heard from her. If I were to rekindle a lost friendship, that one might be the one I think has some hope.
A friend from high school had several other people from high school on her list. Many of these people I didn't care for and I although I do not harbour resentment, I do not care to add them to my friends list. The reality of life is that we will encounter all these people and only a few we find some connection.
I looked at the friends list of several other people and they had over 500. I could not imagine having that many friends. Although I tend to get along with most people, I find it very difficult to have a geniune connection with most people. Why? I don't know. I know that I am different from people but I don't think I'm so unique that I can't relate to people.
Actually I don't think it's difficult for me to have a genuine connection with people. I think for many people, they have difficulty being open and honest with others because they are not open and honest with themselves.
I have also noticed many of the women under 30 use pictures of themselves with their wedding dress on. I wonder if it's because a)this is the only good picture of themself that they have available b)it's the most recent photo they have or c)because their identity is largely tied up with the idea that getting married is a sign one has made it.
I believe the answer is c. I believe for many of these young women, their self concept is largely defined by the fact that they now have someone and they place such value on marriage.
I am sure for some Facebook has been useful in their life. Facebook your time is ticking.
Many of my readers may not know this however I plan on taking a vacation to Vancouver this year from June 1-10. So if you are attracted to me, that would be a good time to 'accidently' run into me in Vancouver and you can profess your love for me and how amazing you think I am.
Yes this is one of my personal fantasies. A really tiny portion of my soul - probably .07% believes that some guy I know secretly harbours feelings for me but is too afraid to tell me in fear that I will break his heart by telling him I'm not interested. The odds of me telling a guy I am not interested and breaking his heart is quite high.
But the point is that I still harbour this fantasy of a guy I know harbouring feelings and then expressing them. It's not really the breaking his heart part that is my fantasy.
Anyways, I plan on white river rafting for 3 days. I really want to do that and everything else after that will be icing on the cake.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Help End the Tiger Trade
Greetings and Salutations fellow e-friends,
I received an email from the WWF (world wildlife fed, not the wrestling organization) that has some petition to sign for helping the tigers. Also, you can upload your picture to be apart of a tiger mosaic. If this petition idea appeals to you, please forward the link to your friends. Here's a blurb from my email:
"The tiger is one of the most revered, feared and popular species on Earth. Yet it is perhaps the most powerful symbol for all of our planet's endangered wildlife.
Fewer than 5,000 tigers are now found in the wild and in just 7% of the habitat they once occupied. But it gets worse... a thriving black market for tiger skins and bones threatens to wipe out wild tigers altogether.
We need your help to create the world's largest photo mosaic of this endangered species and help put an end to the tiger trade."
You can help by clicking here
I received an email from the WWF (world wildlife fed, not the wrestling organization) that has some petition to sign for helping the tigers. Also, you can upload your picture to be apart of a tiger mosaic. If this petition idea appeals to you, please forward the link to your friends. Here's a blurb from my email:
"The tiger is one of the most revered, feared and popular species on Earth. Yet it is perhaps the most powerful symbol for all of our planet's endangered wildlife.
Fewer than 5,000 tigers are now found in the wild and in just 7% of the habitat they once occupied. But it gets worse... a thriving black market for tiger skins and bones threatens to wipe out wild tigers altogether.
We need your help to create the world's largest photo mosaic of this endangered species and help put an end to the tiger trade."
You can help by clicking here
Friday, April 27, 2007
An announcement
Greetings and Salutations,
I have decided to make a change of vast consequence. I have decided to renounce my nerdiness. I am sorry that I have to leave behind the nerd community of which impacted me greatly and which I have impacted as well with my love of all things accurate.
I have decided to leave my nerdy ways to pursue the path of divadom. I now consider myself a diva.
My transformation into divaness begins with the renunication of my past - that of nerdiness and high intellect. I am bringing with me to this divafication process, my committment and dedication. My transition from nerd to diva will be a gradual process but being a diva is my true calling in life.
I bid the international nerd community adieu and I say bonjour to the diva community.
I would like to thank the diva community for accepting me and who will play a pivotal role in my divafication process.
I have decided to make a change of vast consequence. I have decided to renounce my nerdiness. I am sorry that I have to leave behind the nerd community of which impacted me greatly and which I have impacted as well with my love of all things accurate.
I have decided to leave my nerdy ways to pursue the path of divadom. I now consider myself a diva.
My transformation into divaness begins with the renunication of my past - that of nerdiness and high intellect. I am bringing with me to this divafication process, my committment and dedication. My transition from nerd to diva will be a gradual process but being a diva is my true calling in life.
I bid the international nerd community adieu and I say bonjour to the diva community.
I would like to thank the diva community for accepting me and who will play a pivotal role in my divafication process.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Product Review
Greetings and Salutations,
Today, as I sit here in my underwear, I will write a review about an allergy product that I have been using that I believe has been useful. Since 2003 in May I began experiencing allergies that would appear in the spring and fall. I later got tested and the test did not reveal what I was allergic to. I've tried various antihistamines and they don't seem to be strong enough and I find them to be costly.
I discovered this allergy medicine entitled Nasaleze which is manufactured by Vivitas, and their site is vivitas.com. It is a powder that you spray into your nose. Usually one spray in each nostril should be good for the day. Certain days my allergies were really bad and I probably sprayed up to 6 times total. The max dosage is 8 sprays. On my worst days, I found the Nasaleze to be 80-90% effective.
It claims to be a natural product and uses cellulose. It acts as a mucous like lining that filters out pollen and dust.
The powder does become a bit hardened when it interacts with the mucous. My only complaint with this product is that because the powder hardens a bit, it feels like there is booger in your nostril.
The product says it contains 200 doses which they claim is good for 30 days, however, I have had this for more then 30 days and I think most people would not use the full dosage to get positive results.
Overall if you suffer allergies, I recommed using this product.
We also do not use both nostrils when breathing. We use only one nostril and then it periodically switches.
Today, as I sit here in my underwear, I will write a review about an allergy product that I have been using that I believe has been useful. Since 2003 in May I began experiencing allergies that would appear in the spring and fall. I later got tested and the test did not reveal what I was allergic to. I've tried various antihistamines and they don't seem to be strong enough and I find them to be costly.
I discovered this allergy medicine entitled Nasaleze which is manufactured by Vivitas, and their site is vivitas.com. It is a powder that you spray into your nose. Usually one spray in each nostril should be good for the day. Certain days my allergies were really bad and I probably sprayed up to 6 times total. The max dosage is 8 sprays. On my worst days, I found the Nasaleze to be 80-90% effective.
It claims to be a natural product and uses cellulose. It acts as a mucous like lining that filters out pollen and dust.
The powder does become a bit hardened when it interacts with the mucous. My only complaint with this product is that because the powder hardens a bit, it feels like there is booger in your nostril.
The product says it contains 200 doses which they claim is good for 30 days, however, I have had this for more then 30 days and I think most people would not use the full dosage to get positive results.
Overall if you suffer allergies, I recommed using this product.
We also do not use both nostrils when breathing. We use only one nostril and then it periodically switches.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Here Comes the Quadratic Equation
Greetings and Salutations,
There was this article in the paper that featured the picture of the Google founders. They are only 6 years my senior and I found one of them particularly cute - Sergei Brin. The other guy, Larry Page was cute but more geeky cute. I don't know what their marital status is, however, I would be interested in dating Mr. Brin. He's a math and science guy so he would sure be interesting to be nerdy with.
I declare that I would like to be...
Mrs. Google
There was this article in the paper that featured the picture of the Google founders. They are only 6 years my senior and I found one of them particularly cute - Sergei Brin. The other guy, Larry Page was cute but more geeky cute. I don't know what their marital status is, however, I would be interested in dating Mr. Brin. He's a math and science guy so he would sure be interesting to be nerdy with.
I declare that I would like to be...
Mrs. Google
Sunday, April 08, 2007
All About Me
Greetings and Salutations,
This post will not be about me talking about Easter and what it signifies to the millions of Christians around the world. Easter isn't just about Jesus resurrecting after he died. It represents hope that good will prevail over evil. It represents renewal and the opportunity for those who have made mistakes to make things right.
No this post isn't about this holiday, it is like many of my other posts. This post will be about me.
I purchased a couple of dvds from the Wild Goose qigong series a few weeks ago. I thought they would be the last 2 that I buy but I discovered that there was one more available. It was the instructor's first video and it was originally in video format but became reformatted to dvd. He has 2 sites, one that features his dvds and the other has some qigong articles and his upcoming workshops. That site also has a link for qigong dvds. So the main site actually didn't actually feature this video. So I ended up buying it this week. I could have saved on shipping but oh well!
One has volume 3 and the other volume 9. I pretty much know the form of volume 9 and I went over volume 3 a few times but don't actually have the whole routine memorized.
I also starting practising this other form yesterday entitled Liu He Ba Fa which is an internal martial art but doesn't fall under the qigong category. It is known as water boxing. The form is 9 minutes long but there is a lot of arm movements and leg movements and the direction is shifting frequently.
The form has 66 forms and in the dvd, it doesn't show the individual forms in a continuous fashion. You have to select that you want to view the form if that is what you want. It is rather aggravating and so I figure I might as well learn from the full routine version, which is shown in 3 different angles. I have the slow motion function so that will help me out as well.
This form looks rather complicated but I figure it will be a form that I study on an intermittent basis.
I also ordered another dvd entitled tai chi ruler which involves using this stick that is about 12 inches long that you hold in between your palms. I read a book on it and so it looked like something I wanted to learn. The dvd comes with the 'ruler' so it should be interesting to practice this. The ruler is supposed to increase one's ability to sense qi.
* * *
I started reading a Steiner book again. I haven't been reading so much as I have been practising various mantra disciplines. The book is entitled The Mission of the Folk Souls. Steiner is one of those thinkers who will begin this lecture talking about various things which at first may seem irrelevant to the subject but then by the end of the lecture series it all starts to make sense. So as I am reading this book I get impatient as I would like for him to cut to the chase. I'm 4 lectures into it so it should be getting more interesting.
* * *
I have been obsessed with finding a condo as I am itching to get out. Renting is an option as well and maybe that's what I'll have to do since I haven't found any that I liked that are in my price range. They both have their pros and cons. I find it odd that someone like me, who has a highly independent nature, has this difficulty with moving out. I'm not going to waste my time analyzing why but it is something I wonder about.
It would just be so much easier if I had a boyfriend and was pregnant.
This post will not be about me talking about Easter and what it signifies to the millions of Christians around the world. Easter isn't just about Jesus resurrecting after he died. It represents hope that good will prevail over evil. It represents renewal and the opportunity for those who have made mistakes to make things right.
No this post isn't about this holiday, it is like many of my other posts. This post will be about me.
I purchased a couple of dvds from the Wild Goose qigong series a few weeks ago. I thought they would be the last 2 that I buy but I discovered that there was one more available. It was the instructor's first video and it was originally in video format but became reformatted to dvd. He has 2 sites, one that features his dvds and the other has some qigong articles and his upcoming workshops. That site also has a link for qigong dvds. So the main site actually didn't actually feature this video. So I ended up buying it this week. I could have saved on shipping but oh well!
One has volume 3 and the other volume 9. I pretty much know the form of volume 9 and I went over volume 3 a few times but don't actually have the whole routine memorized.
I also starting practising this other form yesterday entitled Liu He Ba Fa which is an internal martial art but doesn't fall under the qigong category. It is known as water boxing. The form is 9 minutes long but there is a lot of arm movements and leg movements and the direction is shifting frequently.
The form has 66 forms and in the dvd, it doesn't show the individual forms in a continuous fashion. You have to select that you want to view the form if that is what you want. It is rather aggravating and so I figure I might as well learn from the full routine version, which is shown in 3 different angles. I have the slow motion function so that will help me out as well.
This form looks rather complicated but I figure it will be a form that I study on an intermittent basis.
I also ordered another dvd entitled tai chi ruler which involves using this stick that is about 12 inches long that you hold in between your palms. I read a book on it and so it looked like something I wanted to learn. The dvd comes with the 'ruler' so it should be interesting to practice this. The ruler is supposed to increase one's ability to sense qi.
I started reading a Steiner book again. I haven't been reading so much as I have been practising various mantra disciplines. The book is entitled The Mission of the Folk Souls. Steiner is one of those thinkers who will begin this lecture talking about various things which at first may seem irrelevant to the subject but then by the end of the lecture series it all starts to make sense. So as I am reading this book I get impatient as I would like for him to cut to the chase. I'm 4 lectures into it so it should be getting more interesting.
I have been obsessed with finding a condo as I am itching to get out. Renting is an option as well and maybe that's what I'll have to do since I haven't found any that I liked that are in my price range. They both have their pros and cons. I find it odd that someone like me, who has a highly independent nature, has this difficulty with moving out. I'm not going to waste my time analyzing why but it is something I wonder about.
It would just be so much easier if I had a boyfriend and was pregnant.
Friday, April 06, 2007
seepage
Reason #666 for wanting to move out of my parent's house:
My dad is currently watching a television program featuring a mass where they are going through the stations of the cross.
It also features Gregorian chant
My dad is currently watching a television program featuring a mass where they are going through the stations of the cross.
It also features Gregorian chant
Monday, April 02, 2007
RRRRRRRRRRR
Grrrrrreetings and Salutations,
I won yesterrrrrday my firrrrrrst prrrrrize frrrom the Tim Horrrton's Rrroll up the Rrrrim to Win contest. I norrrmally don't consume Tim Horrrton's prrrroducts but have been known to occasionally have a medium hot chocolate. I've been buying Tim's just to play the game. I managed to win a coffee afterrr purrrrrchasing 5 medium hot chocolates overrrrrr the span of 2 weeks.
rrrrrrrrrrr
I won yesterrrrrday my firrrrrrst prrrrrize frrrom the Tim Horrrton's Rrroll up the Rrrrim to Win contest. I norrrmally don't consume Tim Horrrton's prrrroducts but have been known to occasionally have a medium hot chocolate. I've been buying Tim's just to play the game. I managed to win a coffee afterrr purrrrrchasing 5 medium hot chocolates overrrrrr the span of 2 weeks.
rrrrrrrrrrr
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Happy Internet Day
Greetings and Salutations,
Today I am declaring that the world needs a day to celebrate the internet. Today I choose to make it Internet day which is a day in celebration of the wonderful and beauty of the internet.
I love the internet and I am grateful that I have access to it on a regular basis. I enjoy the quickened ability to search for things, whether I am looking for information or things to purchase that I may not easily find in stores such as my qigong dvds.
I also enjoy that the internet is a fairly democratic medium.
I do not know how else to express my appreciation of the internet but oh internet how do I love thee!
Happy Internet Day!
Today I am declaring that the world needs a day to celebrate the internet. Today I choose to make it Internet day which is a day in celebration of the wonderful and beauty of the internet.
I love the internet and I am grateful that I have access to it on a regular basis. I enjoy the quickened ability to search for things, whether I am looking for information or things to purchase that I may not easily find in stores such as my qigong dvds.
I also enjoy that the internet is a fairly democratic medium.
I do not know how else to express my appreciation of the internet but oh internet how do I love thee!
Happy Internet Day!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Merry Springmas
Greetings and Salutations,
It is officially spring. Actually I think it was officially spring yesterday. Yeah it's still cold outside!
It is officially spring. Actually I think it was officially spring yesterday. Yeah it's still cold outside!
Monday, March 05, 2007
Da bomb
Greetings and Salutations,
I started getting back into my kettlebell weightlifting. It seeems that SAD has caused me to lose motivation to exercise. I have a 26 and 35 pound kettlebell and it was actually challenging to do the one arm press with my 26 pounder. When I first started, I had managed to do one arm presses with some ease but that's what a couple of months of not training does to your strength. I think I pudged up a bit this winter. I still do my qigong and go for brief walks on my lunch.
*
I started putting sprouts in my sandwich today. I used to feed my canaries sprouts and would make them at home. I read that sprouts are good for humans so I did feel odd eating them but I enjoyed adding them to my sandwich. The ones I ate are not home made. I might want to look up on the internet for what seeds to use because when I made them for my canaries, I would use their bird seeds.
*
I have been at my job for over 6 months. My 6 months was on February 28 which also happened to be the 2 year anniversay of my grandfather's death.
This also means that I get dental benefits which will be useful as I will be needing my wisdom teeth taken out. I have 2 already out but I still have 2 remaining.
*
I am so freaking horny. I need a man!
I started getting back into my kettlebell weightlifting. It seeems that SAD has caused me to lose motivation to exercise. I have a 26 and 35 pound kettlebell and it was actually challenging to do the one arm press with my 26 pounder. When I first started, I had managed to do one arm presses with some ease but that's what a couple of months of not training does to your strength. I think I pudged up a bit this winter. I still do my qigong and go for brief walks on my lunch.
I started putting sprouts in my sandwich today. I used to feed my canaries sprouts and would make them at home. I read that sprouts are good for humans so I did feel odd eating them but I enjoyed adding them to my sandwich. The ones I ate are not home made. I might want to look up on the internet for what seeds to use because when I made them for my canaries, I would use their bird seeds.
I have been at my job for over 6 months. My 6 months was on February 28 which also happened to be the 2 year anniversay of my grandfather's death.
This also means that I get dental benefits which will be useful as I will be needing my wisdom teeth taken out. I have 2 already out but I still have 2 remaining.
I am so freaking horny. I need a man!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Humanity
Greetings and Salutations,
My study group (i.e. book club) has begun reading Steiner's collection of essays entited 'The Renewal of the Social Organism'. These articles have been published in newspapers way back in the early 1900s and basically discuss ideas about organizing society. His basic idea is commonly referred to as a "Threefold Society" which means that these 3 parts - economic, political and cultural (education) must be autonomous because many social problems arise when, for example the economic sphere dictates what goes on in the education sphere. The education sphere should dictate its own mandate and not be influenced by the economic sphere.
He discusses many more aspects about society and the individual.
Several years ago I got several of his books on this topic because it was something that I was deeply concerned about. I want to be a proactive member of humanity. I want my words to have some effect. Not because I am rich or I have status but simply because I am a human. Much of what I feel and what I desire, I think are similar to what many others have, whether they are conscious of it or not.
Steiner's books and lectures on society and economics are rather thick to grasp and demand some rigourous thinking from the reader. I do believe based on my observation of life that there is an unconscious working out of this three fold idea. I think many of those in the anthroposophical community have this notion that this idea just isn't doable but I can see that in the world there is this great struggle towards this threefold idea. People just don't have this idea. People just don't think about society. Perhaps if this idea was more known, the process of evolution for humanity would speed up.
I am optimistic about the state of humanity's future. There are things humans do that is just disgusting and evil. But this is part of becoming human. I know evolving can be a messy process and that is to be expected. Humanity has alot of work ahead but I think it is doable.
Is my optimisim because I am young and naive?
I do not believe so because I have contemplated these issues and the evils of humanity. I have struggled with my own anxieties about the world. I know how the ego operates.
Cynicism and negativity does not create strong wills. It does not lead one to action or to think of alternatives.
I choose to think, to question and to challenge.
Go Humanity Go!
My study group (i.e. book club) has begun reading Steiner's collection of essays entited 'The Renewal of the Social Organism'. These articles have been published in newspapers way back in the early 1900s and basically discuss ideas about organizing society. His basic idea is commonly referred to as a "Threefold Society" which means that these 3 parts - economic, political and cultural (education) must be autonomous because many social problems arise when, for example the economic sphere dictates what goes on in the education sphere. The education sphere should dictate its own mandate and not be influenced by the economic sphere.
He discusses many more aspects about society and the individual.
Several years ago I got several of his books on this topic because it was something that I was deeply concerned about. I want to be a proactive member of humanity. I want my words to have some effect. Not because I am rich or I have status but simply because I am a human. Much of what I feel and what I desire, I think are similar to what many others have, whether they are conscious of it or not.
Steiner's books and lectures on society and economics are rather thick to grasp and demand some rigourous thinking from the reader. I do believe based on my observation of life that there is an unconscious working out of this three fold idea. I think many of those in the anthroposophical community have this notion that this idea just isn't doable but I can see that in the world there is this great struggle towards this threefold idea. People just don't have this idea. People just don't think about society. Perhaps if this idea was more known, the process of evolution for humanity would speed up.
I am optimistic about the state of humanity's future. There are things humans do that is just disgusting and evil. But this is part of becoming human. I know evolving can be a messy process and that is to be expected. Humanity has alot of work ahead but I think it is doable.
Is my optimisim because I am young and naive?
I do not believe so because I have contemplated these issues and the evils of humanity. I have struggled with my own anxieties about the world. I know how the ego operates.
Cynicism and negativity does not create strong wills. It does not lead one to action or to think of alternatives.
I choose to think, to question and to challenge.
Go Humanity Go!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Lesbian Dreams
Greetings and Salutations,
Alright so I had some interesting lesbian dream this morning. I'm not a lesbian at all. I've never been with a woman. I've thought about it but I never really felt much attraction to women. I can appreciate a good looking woman. I might be willing to make out with a woman but...
I am a fan of the penis and a huge fan of the penis in the vagina, especially my vagina.
When I was in grade 9 my friends starting calling me a dyke. This was probably a few months into starting grade 9. These were my friends from elementary school and at this point many miner niners would still hang out with their friends from elementary school. I am surprised how high school can change some people into jerks and that's what happened with some of my friends. I didn't have a boyfriend and didn't date. I was one of those shy kids so although I like guys, I was rather quite scared of them. My 'friend', who I'll call Lisa (which is by the way her real name) starting calling me a dyke and then my other 'friend' Amanda (which is her real name as well) would join in. Amanda was one of those people who was really nice but when she was with Lisa she became a different person and would follow Lisa. Those 2 had some weird relationship. They would always have a fight, break up and then be friends again.
Perhaps Lisa was projecting her fears of being a lesbian onto me, a blazing hot sex goddess trapped in the body of a shy, genius nerd.
Because they kept calling me a dyke, I seriously began contemplating whether I really was a lesbian. But I came to realize that I wasn't. I wish I had stopped hanging out with them at lunch sooner and eventually I did find other friends to hang out. Ones that were more accepting towards me.
So this brings me back to my lesbian dream. I had a lesbian dream a few years ago that was quite explicit, which I will not go into. I'm secure with my sexuality and what I like. So maybe for other women, having a lesbian dream might freak them out. But for me, I try and be aware of what my subconscious is saying.
My lesbian dream was not really sexual in nature. Some woman was present and we both felt drawn to each other and attracted to each other. It wasn't sexual. We had this feeling of love and connection with each other. She would reach out and was feeling the energy around my hands. She liked me and I liked her. We were falling in love.
Perhaps this dream was symbolic of me accepting my feminin nature.
Alright so I had some interesting lesbian dream this morning. I'm not a lesbian at all. I've never been with a woman. I've thought about it but I never really felt much attraction to women. I can appreciate a good looking woman. I might be willing to make out with a woman but...
I am a fan of the penis and a huge fan of the penis in the vagina, especially my vagina.
When I was in grade 9 my friends starting calling me a dyke. This was probably a few months into starting grade 9. These were my friends from elementary school and at this point many miner niners would still hang out with their friends from elementary school. I am surprised how high school can change some people into jerks and that's what happened with some of my friends. I didn't have a boyfriend and didn't date. I was one of those shy kids so although I like guys, I was rather quite scared of them. My 'friend', who I'll call Lisa (which is by the way her real name) starting calling me a dyke and then my other 'friend' Amanda (which is her real name as well) would join in. Amanda was one of those people who was really nice but when she was with Lisa she became a different person and would follow Lisa. Those 2 had some weird relationship. They would always have a fight, break up and then be friends again.
Perhaps Lisa was projecting her fears of being a lesbian onto me, a blazing hot sex goddess trapped in the body of a shy, genius nerd.
Because they kept calling me a dyke, I seriously began contemplating whether I really was a lesbian. But I came to realize that I wasn't. I wish I had stopped hanging out with them at lunch sooner and eventually I did find other friends to hang out. Ones that were more accepting towards me.
So this brings me back to my lesbian dream. I had a lesbian dream a few years ago that was quite explicit, which I will not go into. I'm secure with my sexuality and what I like. So maybe for other women, having a lesbian dream might freak them out. But for me, I try and be aware of what my subconscious is saying.
My lesbian dream was not really sexual in nature. Some woman was present and we both felt drawn to each other and attracted to each other. It wasn't sexual. We had this feeling of love and connection with each other. She would reach out and was feeling the energy around my hands. She liked me and I liked her. We were falling in love.
Perhaps this dream was symbolic of me accepting my feminin nature.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
False Advertising
Today my co-workers and I ordered pitas from an undisclosed Pita store (here's a hint... it's called Extreme Pita). We all ordered combos and you have the option of getting a snack like cookies or chips. I went with cookies. I went with the double chocolate cookies.
I went to pick up the order as we called it in. I had faith that these cookies would be double cookie as the name implies. After I finished my pita, I began to eat my cookies. Apparently these cookies contain white chocolate chips as well. I felt betrayed. Here I was expecting just chocolate in my cookies. I don't want no whitie chocolate chips. I didn't want cookies that had 2 different types of chocolate.
These cookies should have been called something else. Something like double chocolate with white chocolate chips or jungle fever double chocolate or mottled double chocolate.
I shake my first in rage.
I went to pick up the order as we called it in. I had faith that these cookies would be double cookie as the name implies. After I finished my pita, I began to eat my cookies. Apparently these cookies contain white chocolate chips as well. I felt betrayed. Here I was expecting just chocolate in my cookies. I don't want no whitie chocolate chips. I didn't want cookies that had 2 different types of chocolate.
These cookies should have been called something else. Something like double chocolate with white chocolate chips or jungle fever double chocolate or mottled double chocolate.
I shake my first in rage.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Skinner update
Greetings and Salutations,
We had contacted the vet today and the doctor told us to use a cotton ball with hydrogen peroxide with warm water on the injured areas. It appears Skinner will recover. Hopefully he will recover quickly and start using his injured leg more. And sing again.
We had contacted the vet today and the doctor told us to use a cotton ball with hydrogen peroxide with warm water on the injured areas. It appears Skinner will recover. Hopefully he will recover quickly and start using his injured leg more. And sing again.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
An insider's job
Greetings and Salutations,
The family canary, Skinner is currently not doing well. I have previously mentioned that he faces danger from external birds, however the greater evil lies within the house. Skinner has a band on his leg which is common for birds. He was picking at it yesterday and my parents decided to take the leg band off.
The band was successfully removed.
My parents also decided to trim his nails since it appeared long to them. The first nail was trimmed. For the second nail, Skinner flinched and my dad ended up cutting too much of his nail, causing him to bleed profusely.
Bird nails have a blood vessel in them. You are to trim the nail 1/8 of an inch from that blood vessel. It is possible that a bird can bleed to death if you cut the blood vessel.
Skinner is surviving. The incident happened yesterday around 4 pm. He has been standing on his good leg for most of the evening. For this who do not know, canaries sleep standing on one leg. I do not know if excessive use of just one leg causes stress on the leg. He can fly and I have seen his stand on his damaged leg, but usually it is brief. I was concerned that he might die overnight but he made it through. I'm no doctor but I think if he lost too much blood, he would probably die within a few hours.
He has blood on his cheek and his belly, as he relaxs his damaged leg against his belly. How he got blood on his face is unclear.
It deeply saddens me to see an innocent creature suffer because of an accident. Let this be a lesson for those who care for birds. I have suggested to my parents to contact the vet for suggestion on aftercare, which they will do this afternoon. I don't think he needs medicine for preventing an infection as it was just his nail that was cut and not skin. I think he will probably just need to have his leg hand washed.
Skinner also has stopped singing and hopefully he will recover quickly from this genuine tragedy.
I love you Skinner!
The family canary, Skinner is currently not doing well. I have previously mentioned that he faces danger from external birds, however the greater evil lies within the house. Skinner has a band on his leg which is common for birds. He was picking at it yesterday and my parents decided to take the leg band off.
The band was successfully removed.
My parents also decided to trim his nails since it appeared long to them. The first nail was trimmed. For the second nail, Skinner flinched and my dad ended up cutting too much of his nail, causing him to bleed profusely.
Bird nails have a blood vessel in them. You are to trim the nail 1/8 of an inch from that blood vessel. It is possible that a bird can bleed to death if you cut the blood vessel.
Skinner is surviving. The incident happened yesterday around 4 pm. He has been standing on his good leg for most of the evening. For this who do not know, canaries sleep standing on one leg. I do not know if excessive use of just one leg causes stress on the leg. He can fly and I have seen his stand on his damaged leg, but usually it is brief. I was concerned that he might die overnight but he made it through. I'm no doctor but I think if he lost too much blood, he would probably die within a few hours.
He has blood on his cheek and his belly, as he relaxs his damaged leg against his belly. How he got blood on his face is unclear.
It deeply saddens me to see an innocent creature suffer because of an accident. Let this be a lesson for those who care for birds. I have suggested to my parents to contact the vet for suggestion on aftercare, which they will do this afternoon. I don't think he needs medicine for preventing an infection as it was just his nail that was cut and not skin. I think he will probably just need to have his leg hand washed.
Skinner also has stopped singing and hopefully he will recover quickly from this genuine tragedy.
I love you Skinner!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
A poem...
The trappings of existence has befallen the many
Crafted by an unknown intelligence
We wander
The trappings are many
The knowers are few
Segregation
Elimination
Discrimination
The temptation has yielded a fruit of unbearable consequences
The salvation exists
We mine for this salvation
The cost is high
Unrelenting is the pain
To go back crosses the mind
Comforted by the familiar
Warmed by the safe
Mortifed by the realization of ossification
A longing pervades
A desire persists
A decision is made
The sword is sharpened
The vision expands
The heart engulfs
Crafted by an unknown intelligence
We wander
The trappings are many
The knowers are few
Segregation
Elimination
Discrimination
The temptation has yielded a fruit of unbearable consequences
The salvation exists
We mine for this salvation
The cost is high
Unrelenting is the pain
To go back crosses the mind
Comforted by the familiar
Warmed by the safe
Mortifed by the realization of ossification
A longing pervades
A desire persists
A decision is made
The sword is sharpened
The vision expands
The heart engulfs
Skinner Stalking
Greetings and Salutations Carriers of Cerebral fluid,
My canary Skinner is located near the window. It has given him new life to be placed in that location, however, today I was exposed to the harsh reality of how vulnerable my canary is to potential stalkers.
I was sitting on the couch reflecting upon whether I will attain Buddahood or not when I suddenly saw a Cardinal dive towards our window aiming straight for Skinner. The impact of the bird against the window startled me. Fortunately the Cardinal was okay. I don't think Skinner realized that another bird was after him.
My mother came into the living room and asked me why I was so upset and I notified her about the bird situation. She told me that the Cardinal was lurking around in the morning.
I am scared for my Skinner. He is being stalked.
I began contemplating what was the intention of this Cardinal? Did the Cardinal want to eat him? Or play with him?
Yesterday I had also noticed that another bird was fluttering in front of our window. Skinner seems to be popular. The bird from yesterday seemed curious about Skinner but today, this Cardinal seemed ready to attack. Although technically the only way an outsider bird will be able to hurt Skinner is if it waits by the side door until someone in my family leaves or enters the house. It would then have to fly into the living room, open the cage door either with its beak or feet and then begin to continuously peck at Skinner until he bleeds to death.
Or the bird would have to learn karate and break our front window. Both have a slim chance of actually happening. Skinner enjoys his location and I should hope that he doesn't get traumatized from other birds wanting to attack him.
My canary Skinner is located near the window. It has given him new life to be placed in that location, however, today I was exposed to the harsh reality of how vulnerable my canary is to potential stalkers.
I was sitting on the couch reflecting upon whether I will attain Buddahood or not when I suddenly saw a Cardinal dive towards our window aiming straight for Skinner. The impact of the bird against the window startled me. Fortunately the Cardinal was okay. I don't think Skinner realized that another bird was after him.
My mother came into the living room and asked me why I was so upset and I notified her about the bird situation. She told me that the Cardinal was lurking around in the morning.
I am scared for my Skinner. He is being stalked.
I began contemplating what was the intention of this Cardinal? Did the Cardinal want to eat him? Or play with him?
Yesterday I had also noticed that another bird was fluttering in front of our window. Skinner seems to be popular. The bird from yesterday seemed curious about Skinner but today, this Cardinal seemed ready to attack. Although technically the only way an outsider bird will be able to hurt Skinner is if it waits by the side door until someone in my family leaves or enters the house. It would then have to fly into the living room, open the cage door either with its beak or feet and then begin to continuously peck at Skinner until he bleeds to death.
Or the bird would have to learn karate and break our front window. Both have a slim chance of actually happening. Skinner enjoys his location and I should hope that he doesn't get traumatized from other birds wanting to attack him.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Seepage in the brain
Reason #27 for wanting to move out of my parents house:
My mother is currently playing music by Engelbert Humperdinck.
My mother is currently playing music by Engelbert Humperdinck.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
A love note
Since it's Valentine's and I'm single, I thought I'd write about how much I love myself and tell myself how fabulous. Here goes Paula, I hope my writing makes you proud.
Why I love Paula: a message
You are a fabulous person. Paula you are funny and your highly accurate analytical mind puts many to shame. You are one of the most smartest people I know and the fact that you continously seek to grow as a person and actively seek to become better is something I highly value in you.
You are truly one of the most persistent spirits I have ever met. Most people don't know about the intensely painful inner experiences you have undergone in your early 20s. The spiritual trials you have undergone and will continue to experience is a testament to how truly strong you are. You have faced many demons. You have astounded me with your courage.
Your devotion to truth is also something very admirable. You love the truth and being honest with yourself so much that you don't care how much it hurts your ego. You have developed a high level of objectivity within yourself and that you should be proud of.
You have strong ethics and morals. I can always count on you to step up when things look bleak.
But what I truly love about you the most Paula is your highly compassionate nature. Because you have dedicated yourself to the painful task of self knowledge, you have learned many life lessons in a short span. Your understanding of how your emotions work within you has enabled you to deeply empathize with others and what struggles they deal with. Because you have dealt with your demons and have learned how to make yourself happy, you have truly gained a wonderful perspective on life.
I am so glad to have met you Paula. You have blessed me with your presence and glorious spirit.
I love you!
Why I love Paula: a message
You are a fabulous person. Paula you are funny and your highly accurate analytical mind puts many to shame. You are one of the most smartest people I know and the fact that you continously seek to grow as a person and actively seek to become better is something I highly value in you.
You are truly one of the most persistent spirits I have ever met. Most people don't know about the intensely painful inner experiences you have undergone in your early 20s. The spiritual trials you have undergone and will continue to experience is a testament to how truly strong you are. You have faced many demons. You have astounded me with your courage.
Your devotion to truth is also something very admirable. You love the truth and being honest with yourself so much that you don't care how much it hurts your ego. You have developed a high level of objectivity within yourself and that you should be proud of.
You have strong ethics and morals. I can always count on you to step up when things look bleak.
But what I truly love about you the most Paula is your highly compassionate nature. Because you have dedicated yourself to the painful task of self knowledge, you have learned many life lessons in a short span. Your understanding of how your emotions work within you has enabled you to deeply empathize with others and what struggles they deal with. Because you have dealt with your demons and have learned how to make yourself happy, you have truly gained a wonderful perspective on life.
I am so glad to have met you Paula. You have blessed me with your presence and glorious spirit.
I love you!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
3 Cheers for Monogamy
I began reading a book entitled The Minds of Birds. I thought I would share a fact about birds with my mostly monogamous audience.
According to this book, 90% of all birds are monogamous.
Here's to monogamy!
According to this book, 90% of all birds are monogamous.
Here's to monogamy!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Greetings and salutations,
Last night I completed my 6th journal. I have been keeping a physical journal since February 2000. It's not one of those wussy journals, it's 9 x 7 inches and is 196 pages. I tend to write more about my emotional states in my journals. I don't like to discuss my frustrations and lows in public as so I try to keep my blog perverted and happy.
I like to think that what I am writing will be valued in the future for historians. I like to think that someone reading it in the future will find it interesting to hear one's intimate thoughts during this time. I don't think they would find it valuable because it's mine but rather because the concept of struggle is universal and something everyone can relate. Although we live in such a materialistic age, I think they would find it interesting to see how someone copes and see what one values in life and how one seeks meaning and what theire hopes and aspirations are.
I do actually write positive things in my journal as well as sometimes good things do happen to me. And yes I do write about my sexual experiences and in one of my journals I begin my first journal entry (volume 2) writing about the first time I had sex with a partner (I was not a virgin at the time, it was just our first time getting it on).
I'm sure my future grandchildren would love to read sex stories about their grandmother.
Last night I completed my 6th journal. I have been keeping a physical journal since February 2000. It's not one of those wussy journals, it's 9 x 7 inches and is 196 pages. I tend to write more about my emotional states in my journals. I don't like to discuss my frustrations and lows in public as so I try to keep my blog perverted and happy.
I like to think that what I am writing will be valued in the future for historians. I like to think that someone reading it in the future will find it interesting to hear one's intimate thoughts during this time. I don't think they would find it valuable because it's mine but rather because the concept of struggle is universal and something everyone can relate. Although we live in such a materialistic age, I think they would find it interesting to see how someone copes and see what one values in life and how one seeks meaning and what theire hopes and aspirations are.
I do actually write positive things in my journal as well as sometimes good things do happen to me. And yes I do write about my sexual experiences and in one of my journals I begin my first journal entry (volume 2) writing about the first time I had sex with a partner (I was not a virgin at the time, it was just our first time getting it on).
I'm sure my future grandchildren would love to read sex stories about their grandmother.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Shhhhh
I don't want my mother to hear me say this so please keep this a secret.
I wanna crank me out some babies
My biological clock is ticking...
I can wait a few years so I am not in a rush to spawn.
I must be like a plant and germinate to continue my lineage. My lineage of weirdness and reliability.
I wanna crank me out some babies
My biological clock is ticking...
I can wait a few years so I am not in a rush to spawn.
I must be like a plant and germinate to continue my lineage. My lineage of weirdness and reliability.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Cage-ed Canary
Greeting and Salutations,
I decided to name my parent's canary Skinner. I named him that the day after they got him. I was hoping to come up with something better but that was the first thing I came up with. My parents moved him near the window after Christmas as the Christmas tree was at the window. Skinner was not singing when we first got him. He was just chirping. Skinner was on a 30 day probation period where we could return him if he didn't sing. A few days after he was moved to his new area, he did begin to sing. He is a good singer He seems to enjoy looking out the window. Prior to him being moved, I thought about what we could do to get him to sing. I thought that maybe there is a canary cd for birds. I looked online and came across several that say it encourages canaries to sing because it features other canaries. A canary can learn to sing by mimicking other canaries.
When we had our previous canary many moons ago, I would often open the cage door so that he could fly around the house. Usually Bobby would stay in the living room. I had opened the cage door for Skinner on Saturday but he did not go out. I opened it again on Sunday and left it open for the whole afternoon and he did not go out. When I first opened the door, I noticed that he aware of the door being open. But for some reason, he didn't make the connection that he could fly and have some fun.
I think this behaviour is something that we humans tend to do as well. We're all in some form of a metaphorical cage. When someone opens the door, we may see that there is an opening and yet we do not go out. We stay in for various reasons. And we miss out on exploring. Skinner could have explored the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, etc, but he could never go beyond his own cage. The cage represents our egotistical nature. We ususally stick with what is familiar, rarely challenging the false ideas and beliefs that our minds contain.
One can argue that perhaps there is nothing wrong about Skinner staying in his cage because maybe he felt he didn't need to leave because all of his needs are met.
I had pondered this and I myself couldn't come up with a counter argument. So maybe we all should just be content and stick with what is familar. Being complacent is underrated.
I decided to name my parent's canary Skinner. I named him that the day after they got him. I was hoping to come up with something better but that was the first thing I came up with. My parents moved him near the window after Christmas as the Christmas tree was at the window. Skinner was not singing when we first got him. He was just chirping. Skinner was on a 30 day probation period where we could return him if he didn't sing. A few days after he was moved to his new area, he did begin to sing. He is a good singer He seems to enjoy looking out the window. Prior to him being moved, I thought about what we could do to get him to sing. I thought that maybe there is a canary cd for birds. I looked online and came across several that say it encourages canaries to sing because it features other canaries. A canary can learn to sing by mimicking other canaries.
When we had our previous canary many moons ago, I would often open the cage door so that he could fly around the house. Usually Bobby would stay in the living room. I had opened the cage door for Skinner on Saturday but he did not go out. I opened it again on Sunday and left it open for the whole afternoon and he did not go out. When I first opened the door, I noticed that he aware of the door being open. But for some reason, he didn't make the connection that he could fly and have some fun.
I think this behaviour is something that we humans tend to do as well. We're all in some form of a metaphorical cage. When someone opens the door, we may see that there is an opening and yet we do not go out. We stay in for various reasons. And we miss out on exploring. Skinner could have explored the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, etc, but he could never go beyond his own cage. The cage represents our egotistical nature. We ususally stick with what is familiar, rarely challenging the false ideas and beliefs that our minds contain.
One can argue that perhaps there is nothing wrong about Skinner staying in his cage because maybe he felt he didn't need to leave because all of his needs are met.
I had pondered this and I myself couldn't come up with a counter argument. So maybe we all should just be content and stick with what is familar. Being complacent is underrated.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
A rap for all my bitches and hoes
To all my bitches and hoes
I say can I getta what what
On the Saturday bend
I takin it
Like a freefall side of the loo
I say to all my bitches and hoes
Where yo heart be at
I'm from the mean streets of
Simpleness.
I'm from the ghetto projects of
Harlequinn.
Where does my master lie?
Can you take the baseball and hit it
Likes I rhymes wit you
You likes to rhymes with me
Yo holiday bitches and hoes
Take my cornucorpia
And make slide slide
down the Saturday bend
Yo bithces and hoes
Yo bitches and hoes
Yo bitches and hoes
I be bringin' it to ya
Tay Bell
I be bringin' it to ya
Mo tell
I be bringin' it to ya
Funer Rail
Ghetto back
Ghetto hoes
Ghetto bitches and hoes
Welcome to all my bitches and hoes
Don't be messin with the
Medicine
Don't be playin' with my
Cabinet
You ain't got my quickness
My slickness
My ghetto fabulous
Mmmmmm VEM
Shut up all y'all snitches and no hoes
Ghetto back
Ghetto front
Ghetto spiral it all out
Welcome to all my bitches and hoes
I say welcome to all my bitches and hoes
I say can I getta what what
On the Saturday bend
I takin it
Like a freefall side of the loo
I say to all my bitches and hoes
Where yo heart be at
I'm from the mean streets of
Simpleness.
I'm from the ghetto projects of
Harlequinn.
Where does my master lie?
Can you take the baseball and hit it
Likes I rhymes wit you
You likes to rhymes with me
Yo holiday bitches and hoes
Take my cornucorpia
And make slide slide
down the Saturday bend
Yo bithces and hoes
Yo bitches and hoes
Yo bitches and hoes
I be bringin' it to ya
Tay Bell
I be bringin' it to ya
Mo tell
I be bringin' it to ya
Funer Rail
Ghetto back
Ghetto hoes
Ghetto bitches and hoes
Welcome to all my bitches and hoes
Don't be messin with the
Medicine
Don't be playin' with my
Cabinet
You ain't got my quickness
My slickness
My ghetto fabulous
Mmmmmm VEM
Shut up all y'all snitches and no hoes
Ghetto back
Ghetto front
Ghetto spiral it all out
Welcome to all my bitches and hoes
I say welcome to all my bitches and hoes
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Another Scientific Observation
Greetings and Salutations,
My Seasonal Affective Disorder has kicked in yet again. I must invest in a light box so that I feel more alive and less sluggish and depressed during this time of year.
I have decided to listen to some hard trance music at work. I have found that it has perked up my spirit while listening to it, whereas when I stop, I slip back into my winter depression. This is yet another observation for science to take a hold of.
I normally do not like the hard core trance music. I usually can sustain listening to the fast thump thump thump sound for about 10 minutes. However today because I am so depressed and miserable, I was able to listen to this music for the whole day and not feel irritable. In fact it has enhanced my mental and emotional state, allowing me to continue on in my day.
No other genre of music was able to do this. Not even my beloved Green Day and Hawksley Workman.
Hard core trance: mood elevator for Seasonal Affective Disorder.
My Seasonal Affective Disorder has kicked in yet again. I must invest in a light box so that I feel more alive and less sluggish and depressed during this time of year.
I have decided to listen to some hard trance music at work. I have found that it has perked up my spirit while listening to it, whereas when I stop, I slip back into my winter depression. This is yet another observation for science to take a hold of.
I normally do not like the hard core trance music. I usually can sustain listening to the fast thump thump thump sound for about 10 minutes. However today because I am so depressed and miserable, I was able to listen to this music for the whole day and not feel irritable. In fact it has enhanced my mental and emotional state, allowing me to continue on in my day.
No other genre of music was able to do this. Not even my beloved Green Day and Hawksley Workman.
Hard core trance: mood elevator for Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Twisted Sister
Greetings and Salutations Withering Fools,
I have been watching American Idol lately. I normally don't watch it but since I am bored out of my mind and lazy, it helps pass the time, thus bringing me closer to my inevitable death.
So many people want to be famous. I wouldn't mind being famous and successful. I've actually spent time contemplating whether I'd be willing to sell my soul for success. After much soul searching, I decided that I would be willing to sell my soul to be wealthy, successful and famous. I've been a nobody for 28 years and I feel that I have suffered enough. I have no social rank and the only place where I feel I get respect is in my anthroposophy group because I'm so insightful and deep.
Well let me tell you, being deep and sensitive don't boost the ego and my ego definitely needs to be stroked. I stroke my own ego so much, it gets tiring. It's time for the rest of the world to make a contribution to keep my ego satiated.
Hey Satan... I'm willing to sell my soul for some worldly success.
On the flip side, it is possible to be successful, wealthy and famous without comprimising one's integrity... or is it?
I have been watching American Idol lately. I normally don't watch it but since I am bored out of my mind and lazy, it helps pass the time, thus bringing me closer to my inevitable death.
So many people want to be famous. I wouldn't mind being famous and successful. I've actually spent time contemplating whether I'd be willing to sell my soul for success. After much soul searching, I decided that I would be willing to sell my soul to be wealthy, successful and famous. I've been a nobody for 28 years and I feel that I have suffered enough. I have no social rank and the only place where I feel I get respect is in my anthroposophy group because I'm so insightful and deep.
Well let me tell you, being deep and sensitive don't boost the ego and my ego definitely needs to be stroked. I stroke my own ego so much, it gets tiring. It's time for the rest of the world to make a contribution to keep my ego satiated.
Hey Satan... I'm willing to sell my soul for some worldly success.
On the flip side, it is possible to be successful, wealthy and famous without comprimising one's integrity... or is it?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Psuedo Lesbians
I have seen women kiss women, usually just on the lips with no tongue. I've seen in clubs or in various social events. I think it is probably one of the lamest ways a woman can declare her sexual independence. Sure a woman may protest that she is doing it because she feels like it but the reality is woman do it in a desperate attempt to be cool. To be lesbian sheek. To prove that she is sexually 'out there' and wild.
I remember being in a club and seeing a couple of girls doing a little grinding dance together. They only do it to get attention. They don't do it because they are genuinely turned on by the female form. If they were genuinely turned on by women, they would take her somewhere private, rip her pants off, lick her cunt and give her the best oral sex imaginable.
See, I consider myself a real woman. I don't need to play those silly little games that wannabe lesbians play where they give pecks on the lips. If you want to be a real wannabe lesbian, slip some tongue at least.
I remember being in a club and seeing a couple of girls doing a little grinding dance together. They only do it to get attention. They don't do it because they are genuinely turned on by the female form. If they were genuinely turned on by women, they would take her somewhere private, rip her pants off, lick her cunt and give her the best oral sex imaginable.
See, I consider myself a real woman. I don't need to play those silly little games that wannabe lesbians play where they give pecks on the lips. If you want to be a real wannabe lesbian, slip some tongue at least.
Friday, January 12, 2007
The Day is Coming
Greetings and Salutations,
Tomorrow on January 13th, is my birthday. I will be 28. Based on a life expectancy of 84, this means that 1/3 of my life is over. Now I actually feel old.
I actually feel impending doom and actually do not look forward to turning this age. I had read somewhere that the period of 28-35 is where many life changes occur. It is where people most likely marry if they haven't or get divorced if they are married, where people have children, where people change careers, where people become mentally ill. I sure hope that I experience major life shifts in that span.
I just want more out of life.
I feel like I don't have much time left to make something out of myself.
I guess that's not really true as there are people who are productive in their old age. But that's not the point.
Anyways, a couple of my co-workers in my department got me a card with some scratch tickets and brought donuts. I wasn't expecting that and thought that was very nice of them. I didn't win. I think if I were to win a significant amount, say anything over $1000, I think I would want to split it in cases like that where people buy you that as a gift. If I were giving it, I wouldn't care if they didn't split it.
*
I have been sick alot these past few weeks. I don't know if it is a reoccuring sickness. My throat is bugging me and I'll have a fever. I'll be fine for a week and then get sick again. I think there was only one cold that was going around at work that I didn't pick up. It's good to know that if there is an epidemic flu, my immune system probably would not help me survive.
*
I had an eye doctor appointment this Wednesday. The secretary puts you into another waiting room and there you wait until the doctor tells you to take a seat. I was waiting with some old man for a long time. I came in early too because I was hoping that I wouldn't be in for long. The doctor was ready to see me and then she told me to go to the room. I waited for another 5 minutes. I decided to look through my chart because I wonder what they put down in these things. I looked through some past entries and one of them was where the doctor wrote that I was 10 minutes late. I didn't appreciate that. I checked the clock and it was 30 minutes past my appointment. So I wrote in my notes that the doctor was 30 minutes late. I normally don't do stuff like that but that room where they make you wait has toys in it and I was playing with some of them. Playing with toys does help me get out of my head and into a more defenseless and child-like state of mind.
The doctor never said anything. I felt a bit bad because I probably should have asked about why she would write that I was 10 minutes late. I wasn't angry that she was late but just that she would write that down.
I think I should get another eye doctor. She was an opthamologist. I didn't feel cared for as a patient. You know if the eyes are the window to the soul, you would think they eye doctors would be more sensitive and gentle but she was not.
Tomorrow on January 13th, is my birthday. I will be 28. Based on a life expectancy of 84, this means that 1/3 of my life is over. Now I actually feel old.
I actually feel impending doom and actually do not look forward to turning this age. I had read somewhere that the period of 28-35 is where many life changes occur. It is where people most likely marry if they haven't or get divorced if they are married, where people have children, where people change careers, where people become mentally ill. I sure hope that I experience major life shifts in that span.
I just want more out of life.
I feel like I don't have much time left to make something out of myself.
I guess that's not really true as there are people who are productive in their old age. But that's not the point.
Anyways, a couple of my co-workers in my department got me a card with some scratch tickets and brought donuts. I wasn't expecting that and thought that was very nice of them. I didn't win. I think if I were to win a significant amount, say anything over $1000, I think I would want to split it in cases like that where people buy you that as a gift. If I were giving it, I wouldn't care if they didn't split it.
I have been sick alot these past few weeks. I don't know if it is a reoccuring sickness. My throat is bugging me and I'll have a fever. I'll be fine for a week and then get sick again. I think there was only one cold that was going around at work that I didn't pick up. It's good to know that if there is an epidemic flu, my immune system probably would not help me survive.
I had an eye doctor appointment this Wednesday. The secretary puts you into another waiting room and there you wait until the doctor tells you to take a seat. I was waiting with some old man for a long time. I came in early too because I was hoping that I wouldn't be in for long. The doctor was ready to see me and then she told me to go to the room. I waited for another 5 minutes. I decided to look through my chart because I wonder what they put down in these things. I looked through some past entries and one of them was where the doctor wrote that I was 10 minutes late. I didn't appreciate that. I checked the clock and it was 30 minutes past my appointment. So I wrote in my notes that the doctor was 30 minutes late. I normally don't do stuff like that but that room where they make you wait has toys in it and I was playing with some of them. Playing with toys does help me get out of my head and into a more defenseless and child-like state of mind.
The doctor never said anything. I felt a bit bad because I probably should have asked about why she would write that I was 10 minutes late. I wasn't angry that she was late but just that she would write that down.
I think I should get another eye doctor. She was an opthamologist. I didn't feel cared for as a patient. You know if the eyes are the window to the soul, you would think they eye doctors would be more sensitive and gentle but she was not.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
You Spin Me
I was watching this political documentary entitled Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism. I thought it was interesting. I don't get the Fox station up here in Canada so Fox news plays a non existent role in my life.
I began thinking about the word spin. Spin is defined in my dictionary as "a bias in information to give a favourite impression". Isn't the word spin a spin of itself? Isn't using the word spin really just a more fancier way to say that something is a lie? People seem to be waking up to the fact that media 'spins' things and we now use that word so freely. Why don't we just call it like it is, which is spreading lies and misinformation? Why are we Disneyfying something that is a serious issue?
I began thinking about the word spin. Spin is defined in my dictionary as "a bias in information to give a favourite impression". Isn't the word spin a spin of itself? Isn't using the word spin really just a more fancier way to say that something is a lie? People seem to be waking up to the fact that media 'spins' things and we now use that word so freely. Why don't we just call it like it is, which is spreading lies and misinformation? Why are we Disneyfying something that is a serious issue?
Monday, January 01, 2007
Cleanin' Up
I was cleaning upstairs with my mom. She has so many magazines that she's kept over the years and I have a bit of stuff upstairs that I could have gotten rid of. I did some cleaning up this evening by myself and got rid of my notes from high school. I kept my report cards and a couple of assignments that I liked. I went through some of my notes and apparently we did study in religion class Judaism, Islam and Hinduism. I went to a Catholic school and I remember learning about Judaism but not the other 2 religions. I am surprised Buddhism wasn't covered. Perhaps it sounds a bit too nihilistic and maybe it would be too depressing for teenagers.
I decided to keep my notes from university, which I attended for one year. I am a bit attached to my university notes. How many other people keep their notes from high school or university?
I considered myself smart but until I took chemistry and physics, my confidence in my intelligence took a bit of a dive. I had to work really hard in physics and it still didn't make sense to me. We had grade 13 when I was in high school and I think for grade 11(or 12) and grade 13 I must have gotten 59% or 60% in physics which was the lowest grade I ever got in my entire life. I had an academic weakness and it was rawly exposed. I think to this day it still affects me to some degree. I hope that perhaps one day I will make a contribution to science, particularly the field of physics. I hope that by the time I hit my 40s, I will develop an interest in physics and then come up with some revolutionary theory. I'll be the physics underdog who makes a comeback.
I hope you appreciate my little nerd fantasy.
Calculus too also crippled my confidence as well. I was always good in math and in elementary school was always a top performer. In many of the tests we were given, I would get 100% and most of the time was the top student in my class for math. In high school I would do well. Not necessarily the top student but usually got above 85%.
I have wounds from high school. I had academic wounds, social wounds and romantic wounds. I think I am over my social wounds but I think the academic wounds still linger. Growing up I always had faith and confidence in my academic ability but in high school there were a few courses that I didn't excel at and were quite a struggle. My faith in my intelligence was being chipped away at.
Physics was the first class I actually had to ask my teacher for help. I am usually someone who likes to figure things out on my own. I had to get over my pride in asking for help.
Life is about moving on and letting go. So I hope that getting rid of my notes signals to my subconscious that it is time to completely purify myself of these past experiences, whether they were were positive or negative and move on.
I decided to keep my notes from university, which I attended for one year. I am a bit attached to my university notes. How many other people keep their notes from high school or university?
I considered myself smart but until I took chemistry and physics, my confidence in my intelligence took a bit of a dive. I had to work really hard in physics and it still didn't make sense to me. We had grade 13 when I was in high school and I think for grade 11(or 12) and grade 13 I must have gotten 59% or 60% in physics which was the lowest grade I ever got in my entire life. I had an academic weakness and it was rawly exposed. I think to this day it still affects me to some degree. I hope that perhaps one day I will make a contribution to science, particularly the field of physics. I hope that by the time I hit my 40s, I will develop an interest in physics and then come up with some revolutionary theory. I'll be the physics underdog who makes a comeback.
I hope you appreciate my little nerd fantasy.
Calculus too also crippled my confidence as well. I was always good in math and in elementary school was always a top performer. In many of the tests we were given, I would get 100% and most of the time was the top student in my class for math. In high school I would do well. Not necessarily the top student but usually got above 85%.
I have wounds from high school. I had academic wounds, social wounds and romantic wounds. I think I am over my social wounds but I think the academic wounds still linger. Growing up I always had faith and confidence in my academic ability but in high school there were a few courses that I didn't excel at and were quite a struggle. My faith in my intelligence was being chipped away at.
Physics was the first class I actually had to ask my teacher for help. I am usually someone who likes to figure things out on my own. I had to get over my pride in asking for help.
Life is about moving on and letting go. So I hope that getting rid of my notes signals to my subconscious that it is time to completely purify myself of these past experiences, whether they were were positive or negative and move on.
Word up 2007
Happy New Year's y'all,
I just hung out with a couple of my friends at their house for New Year's. We watched some movies and played some games. I was not in the mood to go out and wanted something quiet and simple.
I ended up cleaning my room yesterday. I thought that it would be nice to ring in the new year with a clean room. I clean my room about once a month. I probably should do it more but I don't care if my room is always clean.
I went to my car as I had some items to get there and some items to put back. I tend to keep my gas receipts in the car and so I quickly cleaned up whatever loose papers I had. I'm cleaning the back seat from the front seat. I don't mind that my ass is up in the air because sometimes I like to put myself in odd physical positions, just for the sake of it. I would look at my backseat thinking, how the hell did I manage to have sex in the backseat is beyond me. I don't know if I would have sex again in my backseat.
I finished gathering the loose papers and had this lame cd program I got for free which I decided to throw out. I went inside and sorted through the papers and found a receipt for this product that I returned. I returned this 5 dvd set back in June but I never got a refund for it. I called them several times but they said I needed a receipt. I normally keep these things until it gets processed and I think I did check my car for the receipt. This company said they'd do an inquiry but I never heard from them. I called them up to say I found my receipt and they gave me my refund. I was pleased as the product was about $275 US.
*
There are 2 singers who originally were in bands and they decided to step out and do solo albums. They are Gwen Stefani of No Doubt and Stacey 'Fergie' Ferguson of Black Eyed Peas. I liked them both when they were in their respective bands. However when they decided to do their own work, I thought their music was absolute crap. Both of them have done several rap-type songs and it's not good. Gwen's new song Wind it Out is probably the worst song I've heard all year. It's shit coated shit. 'Fergie' seems to be a Gwen clone but a more sluttier clone. I'm all for women being sexy but some of these performers take skank to a whole new level. Fergie wears such outlandish outfits and excessive make up that she actually looks like a transvestite. To be redundant, she looks like a man who is trying to look like a woman. I find it ironic when these performers try and look sexy and provocative by dressing slutty, it ends up making them look unfeminine.
Please Gwen and Stacey, go back to your respective bands. When you do your solo work, it's too weird and stupid.
*
I want to be a breatharian. I get tired of eating and would just like to survive on air and not need to eat. I of course eat because I get hungry. I don't care to eat. I don't mind chocolate and sweets occasionally. And I wouldn't mind eating every once in a while. But I just get tired of always needing to eat 3 meals a day. I know some people can just eat breakfast and dinner but I can't because I get hungry around noon or 1 pm.
I just would like to be more fuel efficient. I love you stomach but you are too high maintenance for me!
I just hung out with a couple of my friends at their house for New Year's. We watched some movies and played some games. I was not in the mood to go out and wanted something quiet and simple.
I ended up cleaning my room yesterday. I thought that it would be nice to ring in the new year with a clean room. I clean my room about once a month. I probably should do it more but I don't care if my room is always clean.
I went to my car as I had some items to get there and some items to put back. I tend to keep my gas receipts in the car and so I quickly cleaned up whatever loose papers I had. I'm cleaning the back seat from the front seat. I don't mind that my ass is up in the air because sometimes I like to put myself in odd physical positions, just for the sake of it. I would look at my backseat thinking, how the hell did I manage to have sex in the backseat is beyond me. I don't know if I would have sex again in my backseat.
I finished gathering the loose papers and had this lame cd program I got for free which I decided to throw out. I went inside and sorted through the papers and found a receipt for this product that I returned. I returned this 5 dvd set back in June but I never got a refund for it. I called them several times but they said I needed a receipt. I normally keep these things until it gets processed and I think I did check my car for the receipt. This company said they'd do an inquiry but I never heard from them. I called them up to say I found my receipt and they gave me my refund. I was pleased as the product was about $275 US.
There are 2 singers who originally were in bands and they decided to step out and do solo albums. They are Gwen Stefani of No Doubt and Stacey 'Fergie' Ferguson of Black Eyed Peas. I liked them both when they were in their respective bands. However when they decided to do their own work, I thought their music was absolute crap. Both of them have done several rap-type songs and it's not good. Gwen's new song Wind it Out is probably the worst song I've heard all year. It's shit coated shit. 'Fergie' seems to be a Gwen clone but a more sluttier clone. I'm all for women being sexy but some of these performers take skank to a whole new level. Fergie wears such outlandish outfits and excessive make up that she actually looks like a transvestite. To be redundant, she looks like a man who is trying to look like a woman. I find it ironic when these performers try and look sexy and provocative by dressing slutty, it ends up making them look unfeminine.
Please Gwen and Stacey, go back to your respective bands. When you do your solo work, it's too weird and stupid.
I want to be a breatharian. I get tired of eating and would just like to survive on air and not need to eat. I of course eat because I get hungry. I don't care to eat. I don't mind chocolate and sweets occasionally. And I wouldn't mind eating every once in a while. But I just get tired of always needing to eat 3 meals a day. I know some people can just eat breakfast and dinner but I can't because I get hungry around noon or 1 pm.
I just would like to be more fuel efficient. I love you stomach but you are too high maintenance for me!
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