I was watching some Dr. Phil yesterday and I was a bit disturbed by some of his comments he had about a guest. This woman's husband committed suicide by setting himself on fire. He's attempted suicide several times and became 'successful' by using fire. I usually like Dr. Phil and sometimes I don't agree with what he says and this is one of the times where I think he lacked sensitivity and lacked knowledge about suicidal people.
The woman and Dr. Phil believe that the husband killed himself because it was his choice. Dr. Phil stated that it was mean for him to do that and it was his choice to take away his life. It was mean in the sense that the person who takes their life away doesn't think about how the remaining loved ones would feel.
I have to disagree on this because I have been suicidal myself and I'm sure a lot of people have and do not necessarily end up killing themselves.
To someone who is feeling suicidal, suicide is not a choice. It sometimes seems like the only way out of the intense inner pain and existential inner crisis one can experience. Life is painful and for me the pain was overwhelming. And I was only 21. I was going through an existential crisis and didn't know what was reality. Everything seemed surreal and I didn't know what to do.
Killing myself seemed like an answer although I've never seriously attempted suicide.
I didn't want to live and I didn't see the point of living. The pain was intense and it was so intense it was amazing that I didn't take my own life.
I didn't feel connected to the world and the events that went on. Meeting people felt surreal too. It was like, are these people real? Who are they? Are they hiding things about themselves? Surreal is one way to describe it.
I wish Dr. Phil and this woman could understand that people who kill themselves don't do it because they are being mean and it's a choice. I bet for the majority of those that do kill themselves (this is not including those who bomb themselves to kill others...that's another story!), they kill themselves because the pain of life is too overwhelming and they have lost hope that life could be better.
I think it is unfortunate that Dr. Phil and this woman lack the compassion to truly understand the suffering suicidal people experience.
In the long run, I value my early 20s and the intense inner pain and suffering I experienced. It has made me a more sensitive human being. Unlike Dr. Phil and this woman, I have a much greater capacity for empathy, understanding and compassion because I have suffered so greatly in my life.
And the difficult thing was that I didn't have a source for my pain.
It just happened.
And I think that added to my suffering because I didn't know why or what was causing my suffering.
I think when I am in my 40s or 60s, I will have a greater context with which to make sense of this great suffering that I have experienced in my life.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, it is probably best to seek professional help. Most people are not capable of monitoring a suicidal person. It is best to seek those who are trained for this.
I think his lack of knowledge about suicidal people just creates more ignorance about this topic. Mental health is very precious, in fact it is just as precious as physical health. The world does not need a 'professional' propagating false ideas and misinformation about such a topic.
Suicide requires deep compassion and clear thinking to grasp its nature.
Merely saying it was a choice shows one's lack of knowledge about the situation.
