Greetings all,
I have decided a few weeks ago that I will become one of those people that plays the lottery. I am used to being poor as I only work part time (won't be for too long since my contract is ending) and am a student. I was never into playing the lottery simply because the odds are not in your favour to win. My mother always plays the lottery but has never won much.
I am using my brain power to win the lottery because I learned last month that at one of my old companies, someone won Lotto Max and won about 1 million dollars. He is keeping his job. I figure if this dumb ass can win, maybe I have a shot. I could sure use some cash to buy a condo and pay for my education.
For the first few weeks, I haven't won much but this week I won $5 from Lottario and a Free Play with Lotto Max. My numbers are not winning but these lotteries give out computer generated ones and those were the numbers that won me a prize.
I feel that things can only get better and I should be winning a bigger prize soon. I know as a statistician that since it is random, that does not mean that I will improve in a linear fashion. But still I think it's a good sign.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Becoming Atheist
Greetings all,
I am starting to have these moments where I don't believe in god. I am sure I've had these moments when I was in my 20s and I think even when I was younger, I was never really convinced god existed but I feel myself almost wanting to declare outright I just don't believe in god.
I've been an anthroposophist since my 20s but even though the spiritual ideas were stimulating and nourishing, I still don't think I was convinced in the existence of god.
A part of me just wants to either know if one exists.
I've had my dark days and turned to things like journaling or my kundalini yoga and that makes me feel better but it doesn't make me experience god or I am not comforted by god. I do believe kundalini yoga is helpful in trying to access your inner reserves but this in no way indicates god exists.
I think I am disappointed in god, if there is such a thing. I just don't get all these problems in the world. And what about justice?
I guess it's okay that I don't need to take a side but I'd like to know one way or another.
I've been temporarily living with my parents and some days I am home on the weekdays and my mother watches some religious show where they are praying the rosary. Some times I just think my mother is nuts. I myself am guilty of chanting but sometimes I feel like she is too religious because sometimes praying is not enough. I think for me, I chant because it controls the mind and supposedly can put you in a better 'frequency' with your intention.
I am starting to have these moments where I don't believe in god. I am sure I've had these moments when I was in my 20s and I think even when I was younger, I was never really convinced god existed but I feel myself almost wanting to declare outright I just don't believe in god.
I've been an anthroposophist since my 20s but even though the spiritual ideas were stimulating and nourishing, I still don't think I was convinced in the existence of god.
A part of me just wants to either know if one exists.
I've had my dark days and turned to things like journaling or my kundalini yoga and that makes me feel better but it doesn't make me experience god or I am not comforted by god. I do believe kundalini yoga is helpful in trying to access your inner reserves but this in no way indicates god exists.
I think I am disappointed in god, if there is such a thing. I just don't get all these problems in the world. And what about justice?
I guess it's okay that I don't need to take a side but I'd like to know one way or another.
I've been temporarily living with my parents and some days I am home on the weekdays and my mother watches some religious show where they are praying the rosary. Some times I just think my mother is nuts. I myself am guilty of chanting but sometimes I feel like she is too religious because sometimes praying is not enough. I think for me, I chant because it controls the mind and supposedly can put you in a better 'frequency' with your intention.
Monday, August 06, 2012
Iodine
Greetings all,
A few months ago I learned about using iodine as a supplement. I bought some iodine at the health store. It was a weak solution but I wanted to give iodine a try. I started out rather slowly and began with about 1mg of iodine. The solution is a combination of iodine and potassium iodide. Then I went to 6mg and tried 12mg. I ended up getting Lugol's solution at a local pharmacy and once I finished my first bottle, I started to use the more potent Lugol's so that I wouldn't need as much drops as 1 drop of Lugol's 5% contains 6mg, whereas with the iodine I purchased 1ml is 6mg. (1ml is equal to 20 drops)
I have been reading alot about the benefits of iodine and learning how it relates to the thyroid but also to other body parts. Women need more iodine because of our breasts.
I also read that iodine is anti-fungal so it can help with candida albacans, which might be what was causing my brain fog.
About a week and a half ago I decided to increase my dosage to 25mg as the protocol says you can take 50mg for 6 months to fully saturate your body and then you can do a maintenance dose of 12mg.
Apparently in the US, bromide is allowed to be used in foods whereas here in Canada it has been banned and since iodine is in the halogen family, they all compete in the body so the bromide in the food is probably responsible for iodine deficiency.
I ended up feeling really good at 25mg and felt like my brain fog was gone. I had a test 2 days from that date and it helped me to really focus and study. I wasn't sure if this would make me feel good temporarily as last winter I started to take fish oil and it made me feel really good for about 3 days and then I went back to feeling like crap. I still take fish oil because I don't consume fish and probably am missing out on some essential fatty acids. Although recently I have started to consume chia seeds which have a high omega 3 content. I still make sure to consume the fish oil for the EPA/DHA content.
It's been about a week and a half and I still feel good. I think iodine was what was lacking in my body. You can get iodine from sea vegetables like kelp or nori but I don't like anything fishy. As well, I learned that since I am in the Great Lakes area, our soil is well known for being iodine deficient so getting it from foods is probably difficult.
I also learned that iodine is one of the major components to make thyroid hormone. You also need selenium and tyrosine. I read that sometimes people get diagnosed with depression when really they have low thyroid. I did get my thyroid tested this year and it is in the normal range. I learned as well that the range for being normal is so wide and that you can still be classified as normal, even though you probably aren't. My naturopath thinks I have subclinical hypothyroidism because of my symptoms of low energy, fatigue, brain fog and cold hands. I also started to keep track of my body temperature, which was slightly low. The ideal body temperature is 37 C at it's peak. Mine is a bit off but I have heard others say they have temps such as 34 or 35 C and mine is around 36.3-36.4 so not necessarily the ideal
I don't think it was the other supplements that I am taking that have helped me because I noticed an immediate improvement when I started to take the 25mg of iodine. I feel stronger and feel I have more endurance and energy.
I have read that there are risks with taking iodine and that it is necessary to take the supporting nutrients such as Vitamin C, selenium and magnesium. I have been doing this and haven't had that much detox symptoms. I had detox symptoms when I was at 6mg but it was mild. Basically I had a puffy face but that went away.
I was having this conversation with a couple of friends about how flawed our medical system is. With my regular doctor, I had myself tested for various things but nothing conclusive. I probably would have been given depression medication. I didn't want to go on meds because I don't believe too much in giving people pharmaceuticals to treat their health issues. I believe in a more holistic approach that looks at the body from a bio-chemical perspective and treats deficiencies.
Doctors as well seem to just go by what the tests say and not by the symptoms you have.
And once you get on a pharmaceutical, it doesn't stop. You need drugs to treat the side effects of the drug that you are taking but then that drug creates side effects and another drug is needed to treat those symptoms and it ends up that 1 drug leads to many drugs. It's a slippery slope and once you get hooked, it's all downhill. I witnessed this with my grandfather so it's not bullshit. It's fact.
Medicine has become all about the money. It doesn't care about the science. It only cares to prescribe people drugs that don't treat the symptom but only causes more problems so that they can make the money.
My dad doesn't like that I am taking all these supplements but I am to take them for 6 weeks and then probably need less. There are already certain things I don't care to take but am only doing so because this is the protocol that my nutritionist is recommending.
The iodine protocol is something I found out on my own and I think is what my body needs. I like taking the Lugol's because at least I can taste the iodine. There is a pill but I think I prefer Lugol's. Last week I was craving iodine. I am on an email group for iodine and someone was saying my craving was a sign that my body needs it.
As cliche as it sounds, iodine has given me a new lease on life. I am glad to see that it has made me feel good physically and mentally for well over a week and isn't just something that gave me a quick boost, only to make me feel like crap again after 3 days.
I'm posting some links so that you can learn more about iodine.
There is a breast cancer site that recommends iodine for breast health. It is pretty much the protocol I am following.
Breast Cancer Protocol
This is a guide for how to supplement with iodine. It is pretty practical and informative.
The Guide to Supplementing with Iodine
Basically the protocol I follow is the one by Dr. Brownstein and he has a few videos on the subject that I think are informative
Dr. Brownstein video on Iodine
A site by his mentor, Dr. Abraham
Iodine For Health
A bit on the history of iodine
It seems like most people benefit from it, however some people have issues with it and it may be a detox issue. I think it's best to go slow like what I am doing. It wasn't until I increased my dose to 25mg that I noticed a noticeable improvement and I think we all have to experiment with our own bodies to see what works.
I think our medical system is a joke. We have to take responsibility for our health. Our doctors don't care and don't have the time to figure out what our bodies really need. We can't trust our doctors anymore.
As a Canadian, I have to pay into a system I don't support but have to pay out of pocket to see a nutritionist and naturopath. We need to treat things differently instead of prescribing drugs. Yes some situations may require drugs but that should be a last resort. We need a public that is better educated so that they don't just blindly follow doctors. We need a world where people are scientifically literate.
A few months ago I learned about using iodine as a supplement. I bought some iodine at the health store. It was a weak solution but I wanted to give iodine a try. I started out rather slowly and began with about 1mg of iodine. The solution is a combination of iodine and potassium iodide. Then I went to 6mg and tried 12mg. I ended up getting Lugol's solution at a local pharmacy and once I finished my first bottle, I started to use the more potent Lugol's so that I wouldn't need as much drops as 1 drop of Lugol's 5% contains 6mg, whereas with the iodine I purchased 1ml is 6mg. (1ml is equal to 20 drops)
I have been reading alot about the benefits of iodine and learning how it relates to the thyroid but also to other body parts. Women need more iodine because of our breasts.
I also read that iodine is anti-fungal so it can help with candida albacans, which might be what was causing my brain fog.
About a week and a half ago I decided to increase my dosage to 25mg as the protocol says you can take 50mg for 6 months to fully saturate your body and then you can do a maintenance dose of 12mg.
Apparently in the US, bromide is allowed to be used in foods whereas here in Canada it has been banned and since iodine is in the halogen family, they all compete in the body so the bromide in the food is probably responsible for iodine deficiency.
I ended up feeling really good at 25mg and felt like my brain fog was gone. I had a test 2 days from that date and it helped me to really focus and study. I wasn't sure if this would make me feel good temporarily as last winter I started to take fish oil and it made me feel really good for about 3 days and then I went back to feeling like crap. I still take fish oil because I don't consume fish and probably am missing out on some essential fatty acids. Although recently I have started to consume chia seeds which have a high omega 3 content. I still make sure to consume the fish oil for the EPA/DHA content.
It's been about a week and a half and I still feel good. I think iodine was what was lacking in my body. You can get iodine from sea vegetables like kelp or nori but I don't like anything fishy. As well, I learned that since I am in the Great Lakes area, our soil is well known for being iodine deficient so getting it from foods is probably difficult.
I also learned that iodine is one of the major components to make thyroid hormone. You also need selenium and tyrosine. I read that sometimes people get diagnosed with depression when really they have low thyroid. I did get my thyroid tested this year and it is in the normal range. I learned as well that the range for being normal is so wide and that you can still be classified as normal, even though you probably aren't. My naturopath thinks I have subclinical hypothyroidism because of my symptoms of low energy, fatigue, brain fog and cold hands. I also started to keep track of my body temperature, which was slightly low. The ideal body temperature is 37 C at it's peak. Mine is a bit off but I have heard others say they have temps such as 34 or 35 C and mine is around 36.3-36.4 so not necessarily the ideal
I don't think it was the other supplements that I am taking that have helped me because I noticed an immediate improvement when I started to take the 25mg of iodine. I feel stronger and feel I have more endurance and energy.
I have read that there are risks with taking iodine and that it is necessary to take the supporting nutrients such as Vitamin C, selenium and magnesium. I have been doing this and haven't had that much detox symptoms. I had detox symptoms when I was at 6mg but it was mild. Basically I had a puffy face but that went away.
I was having this conversation with a couple of friends about how flawed our medical system is. With my regular doctor, I had myself tested for various things but nothing conclusive. I probably would have been given depression medication. I didn't want to go on meds because I don't believe too much in giving people pharmaceuticals to treat their health issues. I believe in a more holistic approach that looks at the body from a bio-chemical perspective and treats deficiencies.
Doctors as well seem to just go by what the tests say and not by the symptoms you have.
And once you get on a pharmaceutical, it doesn't stop. You need drugs to treat the side effects of the drug that you are taking but then that drug creates side effects and another drug is needed to treat those symptoms and it ends up that 1 drug leads to many drugs. It's a slippery slope and once you get hooked, it's all downhill. I witnessed this with my grandfather so it's not bullshit. It's fact.
Medicine has become all about the money. It doesn't care about the science. It only cares to prescribe people drugs that don't treat the symptom but only causes more problems so that they can make the money.
My dad doesn't like that I am taking all these supplements but I am to take them for 6 weeks and then probably need less. There are already certain things I don't care to take but am only doing so because this is the protocol that my nutritionist is recommending.
The iodine protocol is something I found out on my own and I think is what my body needs. I like taking the Lugol's because at least I can taste the iodine. There is a pill but I think I prefer Lugol's. Last week I was craving iodine. I am on an email group for iodine and someone was saying my craving was a sign that my body needs it.
As cliche as it sounds, iodine has given me a new lease on life. I am glad to see that it has made me feel good physically and mentally for well over a week and isn't just something that gave me a quick boost, only to make me feel like crap again after 3 days.
I'm posting some links so that you can learn more about iodine.
There is a breast cancer site that recommends iodine for breast health. It is pretty much the protocol I am following.
Breast Cancer Protocol
This is a guide for how to supplement with iodine. It is pretty practical and informative.
The Guide to Supplementing with Iodine
Basically the protocol I follow is the one by Dr. Brownstein and he has a few videos on the subject that I think are informative
Dr. Brownstein video on Iodine
A site by his mentor, Dr. Abraham
Iodine For Health
A bit on the history of iodine
It seems like most people benefit from it, however some people have issues with it and it may be a detox issue. I think it's best to go slow like what I am doing. It wasn't until I increased my dose to 25mg that I noticed a noticeable improvement and I think we all have to experiment with our own bodies to see what works.
I think our medical system is a joke. We have to take responsibility for our health. Our doctors don't care and don't have the time to figure out what our bodies really need. We can't trust our doctors anymore.
As a Canadian, I have to pay into a system I don't support but have to pay out of pocket to see a nutritionist and naturopath. We need to treat things differently instead of prescribing drugs. Yes some situations may require drugs but that should be a last resort. We need a public that is better educated so that they don't just blindly follow doctors. We need a world where people are scientifically literate.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sat Kriya Workout Experience
Greetings all,
I have written previously how in the past I have done various 40 day and 120 day disciplines of Sat Kriya. I basically have stopped doing kundalini yoga ever since I went traveling this year in March. When I returned, I felt it difficult to settle into a discipline and so I just sparingly did kundalini yoga and meditate.
It upset me on some level because I was always so disciplined. I am not sure if I stopped doing it because of my health issue as part of what I was feeling was fatigue and low motivation.
I decided on Sunday night to do the Sat Kriya workout. It basically is doing sat kriya for up to 27 minutes but it is broken up into smaller segments and doing exercises in between.
Here is the set:
http://kundaliniyogavictoria.ca/xrdocs/sat_kriya_workout.pdf
I have always been stuck on doing SK for 11 minutes and on occasion would be able to do 22 minutes. I think I've done 31 minutes twice. It frustrated me that it would take such a Herculean effort just to break through 11 minutes but I got the Teacher Training manual from the Kundalini Research Institute a few days ago and decided that this was another way I could get my system doing more SK but going at it from another angle.
I find whenever I take a break from SK, the first day of doing a discipline usually results in lots of tears and crying. This occured to me on Sunday and I really needed it as I was feeling a lot of anxiety over my health, my future, my schooling that I want to complete and my lack of a job and apartment and basically still with my parents.
It felt good to do SK again and I felt wonderful doing it. I felt all this negativity and then I felt myself rising above this negativity and feeling the pain of it all and letting it go and getting back to neutrality. I felt wonderful that in me I had this capacity to elevate myself from the dark thoughts that were building up inside of me. I felt empowered.
I felt the light inside of me and I want more!
I have written previously how in the past I have done various 40 day and 120 day disciplines of Sat Kriya. I basically have stopped doing kundalini yoga ever since I went traveling this year in March. When I returned, I felt it difficult to settle into a discipline and so I just sparingly did kundalini yoga and meditate.
It upset me on some level because I was always so disciplined. I am not sure if I stopped doing it because of my health issue as part of what I was feeling was fatigue and low motivation.
I decided on Sunday night to do the Sat Kriya workout. It basically is doing sat kriya for up to 27 minutes but it is broken up into smaller segments and doing exercises in between.
Here is the set:
http://kundaliniyogavictoria.ca/xrdocs/sat_kriya_workout.pdf
I have always been stuck on doing SK for 11 minutes and on occasion would be able to do 22 minutes. I think I've done 31 minutes twice. It frustrated me that it would take such a Herculean effort just to break through 11 minutes but I got the Teacher Training manual from the Kundalini Research Institute a few days ago and decided that this was another way I could get my system doing more SK but going at it from another angle.
I find whenever I take a break from SK, the first day of doing a discipline usually results in lots of tears and crying. This occured to me on Sunday and I really needed it as I was feeling a lot of anxiety over my health, my future, my schooling that I want to complete and my lack of a job and apartment and basically still with my parents.
It felt good to do SK again and I felt wonderful doing it. I felt all this negativity and then I felt myself rising above this negativity and feeling the pain of it all and letting it go and getting back to neutrality. I felt wonderful that in me I had this capacity to elevate myself from the dark thoughts that were building up inside of me. I felt empowered.
I felt the light inside of me and I want more!
A Health Journey - Part 2
Greetings all,
I also am seeing a nutritionist and did a food diary for 5 days. This was a few weeks ago and 2 of the 5 days were days where I didn't eat well. I started the journal on Saturday. A big mistake to start on the weekend! I went on a hike and to the beach with friends and ate so much cookies and junk and pizza! The next day I had a baby shower. An Italian one and obviously they had lots of junk food and cookies. I normally don't eat much cookies anyways but these 2 days make it seem like I eat it a lot.
I also had to answer this health questionnaire and it basically groups symptoms and it gets repetitive but I think it's a technique to figure out what systems are out of balance.
I saw my nutritionist last Friday and basically according to this health questionnaire, I have low thyroid, low adrenal and pituitary. Also it states I have candida and toxic metals like mercury and copper. This questionnaire isn't scientific but it is based on the symptoms I described. I may or may not have candida or toxic metals but it is possible.
She gave me a list of supplements to take, which I have to do for 6 weeks.
Diet wise, I am low in protein, low in fiber, low in essential fatty acids and high in refined carbs and sugar. I have low water intake, which I don't think I am that low since I do drink water in between meals. I have low vegetables and fruits intake.
I normally like to drink gingerale but I have noticed it has 20g of sugar in a glass and so I switched a week ago to carbonated water because what I enjoy the most is the bubbly sensation. This is one way I am cutting back on sugar. I have plain water during the day and I want to mix it up texture-wise and drinking carbonated beverages gives me that bubbly sensation I enjoy.
I am also cutting back on the sugar consumed for breakfast. I also normally was eating organic bread with Nutella and now I am eating quinoa cereal that I make myself. I researched quinoa and I might not continue with eating quinoa cereal. Basically I am to eat more protein and I can just switch to organic bread with almond butter, which has more protein then Nutella.
I have many supplements to take for these 6 weeks. I have to take a buffered Vitamin C product and this brand is only dispensed by naturopathic clinics. It has many minerals in it as well. Another product not available in stores I have to take is an Adrenal product that has some vitamins but also Adrenal Tissue from pigs. I am taking twice a day Vital Greens, which is basically a liquid drink with various 'super foods'. I have to take probiotics at each meal, which I'm not too keen on. It's costing me plenty of money to get all these supplements and probiotics is expensive. I am still taking them but if I were to take the amount as requested, I'd be going through a bottle every 5 days and they cost around $30 I believe.
I am to take omega 3, which I took during the winter. To increase my fatty acids consumptions, I am also to take 2 tablespoons of coconut oil. I learned about coconut oil last month and use it to make my popcorn, which I use on the stove top. I put the coconut oil in my coffee in the morning.
For my brain I am to take non-GMO soy lecithin. I am not sure if I will continue with soy because many people seem against it but I will follow the protocol for now. I can get lecithin in other forms like sunflower.
I am to take a homeopathic rememdy called Silicea 30CH and also supposed to take protein scoops twice a day, which I think is a little excessive. I have to take a multi-vitamin as well.
To top it off I have to eat 3 cloves of garlic or 1 small onion every day. I can put the garlic in my salad. When I first started, I tried to eat 3 in one meal but it was too much. I am starting with 2 cloves. I'm not too sure about garlic either because I read in some people it causes brain fog.
I am not sure when I will see the naturopath because he is supposed to give me a homeopathic remedy to help with my system overall. I am not too sure about homeopathic medicine but I'll try it out.
I also am seeing a nutritionist and did a food diary for 5 days. This was a few weeks ago and 2 of the 5 days were days where I didn't eat well. I started the journal on Saturday. A big mistake to start on the weekend! I went on a hike and to the beach with friends and ate so much cookies and junk and pizza! The next day I had a baby shower. An Italian one and obviously they had lots of junk food and cookies. I normally don't eat much cookies anyways but these 2 days make it seem like I eat it a lot.
I also had to answer this health questionnaire and it basically groups symptoms and it gets repetitive but I think it's a technique to figure out what systems are out of balance.
I saw my nutritionist last Friday and basically according to this health questionnaire, I have low thyroid, low adrenal and pituitary. Also it states I have candida and toxic metals like mercury and copper. This questionnaire isn't scientific but it is based on the symptoms I described. I may or may not have candida or toxic metals but it is possible.
She gave me a list of supplements to take, which I have to do for 6 weeks.
Diet wise, I am low in protein, low in fiber, low in essential fatty acids and high in refined carbs and sugar. I have low water intake, which I don't think I am that low since I do drink water in between meals. I have low vegetables and fruits intake.
I normally like to drink gingerale but I have noticed it has 20g of sugar in a glass and so I switched a week ago to carbonated water because what I enjoy the most is the bubbly sensation. This is one way I am cutting back on sugar. I have plain water during the day and I want to mix it up texture-wise and drinking carbonated beverages gives me that bubbly sensation I enjoy.
I am also cutting back on the sugar consumed for breakfast. I also normally was eating organic bread with Nutella and now I am eating quinoa cereal that I make myself. I researched quinoa and I might not continue with eating quinoa cereal. Basically I am to eat more protein and I can just switch to organic bread with almond butter, which has more protein then Nutella.
I have many supplements to take for these 6 weeks. I have to take a buffered Vitamin C product and this brand is only dispensed by naturopathic clinics. It has many minerals in it as well. Another product not available in stores I have to take is an Adrenal product that has some vitamins but also Adrenal Tissue from pigs. I am taking twice a day Vital Greens, which is basically a liquid drink with various 'super foods'. I have to take probiotics at each meal, which I'm not too keen on. It's costing me plenty of money to get all these supplements and probiotics is expensive. I am still taking them but if I were to take the amount as requested, I'd be going through a bottle every 5 days and they cost around $30 I believe.
I am to take omega 3, which I took during the winter. To increase my fatty acids consumptions, I am also to take 2 tablespoons of coconut oil. I learned about coconut oil last month and use it to make my popcorn, which I use on the stove top. I put the coconut oil in my coffee in the morning.
For my brain I am to take non-GMO soy lecithin. I am not sure if I will continue with soy because many people seem against it but I will follow the protocol for now. I can get lecithin in other forms like sunflower.
I am to take a homeopathic rememdy called Silicea 30CH and also supposed to take protein scoops twice a day, which I think is a little excessive. I have to take a multi-vitamin as well.
To top it off I have to eat 3 cloves of garlic or 1 small onion every day. I can put the garlic in my salad. When I first started, I tried to eat 3 in one meal but it was too much. I am starting with 2 cloves. I'm not too sure about garlic either because I read in some people it causes brain fog.
I am not sure when I will see the naturopath because he is supposed to give me a homeopathic remedy to help with my system overall. I am not too sure about homeopathic medicine but I'll try it out.
A Health Journey - Part 1
Greetings all,
I have begun a health journey last month as I have been experiencing some health issues, namely fatigue, depression and brain fog. I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD) in the winter and it seems like now I have it year round.
I decided to see a naturopath. I was originally interested in seeing an orthomolecular pracititioner because I was learning about orthomolecular medicine which is basically about giving high dosages of various vitamins and minerals to treat health issues.
I basically felt like I was putting too much energy trying to figure out the best person to go with that I just opted to see a naturopath. It looks like there weren't too many ortho doctors in Hamilton, which is where I am temporarily.
I went to a clinic last month and spent a long time, probably 2 hours talking about my problems health wise and I felt awkward talking about myself for so long. The naturopath I saw gave me these thyroid supplements called Thyroco as he thinks I have low thyroid.
I had a physical by my doctor this year and my thyroid shows as normal but now-a-days doctors just go by tests and not by symptoms. I figured if I saw my doctor for this brain fog, low energy, fatigue and depression, she'd be unable to help me as she's already tested me for things like thyroid or B12 deficiency or sleep problems.
I did learn as I was researching a bit about the thyroid, that low thyroid can cause depression and it makes me wonder how many people really have a thyroid problem but are being treated for depression?
I did notice that my brain fog felt better with the Thyroco. I decided to stop taking it for 2 days to see what happened but I noticed I became rather tired and so I began taking it again and am feeling a bit better.
Having brain fog is by far the worst thing I could be having at this time in my life, especially since I started school in May and want to continue. My grades are not as good as they could be and I think part of that is that my brain is not performing like it normally does. With brain fog, I feel rather stupid. I feel like my brain is a bit drunk. I don't remember things very well. For example, I'll open the fridge to get something but when I do open the door, I forget what I was looking for.
I found this site http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-brain-fog.htm and it has so many other people suffering with brain fog. I could relate to everything these people were talking about because this is what I am going through. There are several potential causes for brain fog and they are:
1. Parasites eg Dientamoeba Fragilis and Blastocystis Hominis
2. Mercury Poisoning
3. Lyme Disease
4. Low Essential Fatty Acids - ALA, GLA, EPA/DHA
5. Candida
6. Low Thyroid
7. Mycoplasma - type of bacteria
8. Adrenal burnout
9. Gluten sensitivity
I decided to try a Parasite cleanse and bought Paragone. I bought it a few months ago but decided last week to try it. I have to do it for 15 days and rest for 5 and continue but using half the product to kill eggs that may be remaining from the first cleanse. I probably will not do the second cleanse because it means having to buy a second box.
On my second day on the cleanse, I did see some worm like creature. It basically looked like a giant sperm as it had a head and a tail. I didn't see eyes or anything but I think it was a worm of some sort. The next day I saw some stringy thing. Basically those were the only 2 weird things I saw.
Apparently people living in the US or in Canada can get worms/parasites and I don't know if I caught it here or while traveling. One symptom of having parasites is craving sugar and for the past few years, I have noticed an intense craving for sugar. I know sugar is addictive as well. Was I craving it because I was addicted or was it to feed worms in my body?
I do feel my cravings for sugar are gone.
I have begun a health journey last month as I have been experiencing some health issues, namely fatigue, depression and brain fog. I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD) in the winter and it seems like now I have it year round.
I decided to see a naturopath. I was originally interested in seeing an orthomolecular pracititioner because I was learning about orthomolecular medicine which is basically about giving high dosages of various vitamins and minerals to treat health issues.
I basically felt like I was putting too much energy trying to figure out the best person to go with that I just opted to see a naturopath. It looks like there weren't too many ortho doctors in Hamilton, which is where I am temporarily.
I went to a clinic last month and spent a long time, probably 2 hours talking about my problems health wise and I felt awkward talking about myself for so long. The naturopath I saw gave me these thyroid supplements called Thyroco as he thinks I have low thyroid.
I had a physical by my doctor this year and my thyroid shows as normal but now-a-days doctors just go by tests and not by symptoms. I figured if I saw my doctor for this brain fog, low energy, fatigue and depression, she'd be unable to help me as she's already tested me for things like thyroid or B12 deficiency or sleep problems.
I did learn as I was researching a bit about the thyroid, that low thyroid can cause depression and it makes me wonder how many people really have a thyroid problem but are being treated for depression?
I did notice that my brain fog felt better with the Thyroco. I decided to stop taking it for 2 days to see what happened but I noticed I became rather tired and so I began taking it again and am feeling a bit better.
Having brain fog is by far the worst thing I could be having at this time in my life, especially since I started school in May and want to continue. My grades are not as good as they could be and I think part of that is that my brain is not performing like it normally does. With brain fog, I feel rather stupid. I feel like my brain is a bit drunk. I don't remember things very well. For example, I'll open the fridge to get something but when I do open the door, I forget what I was looking for.
I found this site http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-brain-fog.htm and it has so many other people suffering with brain fog. I could relate to everything these people were talking about because this is what I am going through. There are several potential causes for brain fog and they are:
1. Parasites eg Dientamoeba Fragilis and Blastocystis Hominis
2. Mercury Poisoning
3. Lyme Disease
4. Low Essential Fatty Acids - ALA, GLA, EPA/DHA
5. Candida
6. Low Thyroid
7. Mycoplasma - type of bacteria
8. Adrenal burnout
9. Gluten sensitivity
I decided to try a Parasite cleanse and bought Paragone. I bought it a few months ago but decided last week to try it. I have to do it for 15 days and rest for 5 and continue but using half the product to kill eggs that may be remaining from the first cleanse. I probably will not do the second cleanse because it means having to buy a second box.
On my second day on the cleanse, I did see some worm like creature. It basically looked like a giant sperm as it had a head and a tail. I didn't see eyes or anything but I think it was a worm of some sort. The next day I saw some stringy thing. Basically those were the only 2 weird things I saw.
Apparently people living in the US or in Canada can get worms/parasites and I don't know if I caught it here or while traveling. One symptom of having parasites is craving sugar and for the past few years, I have noticed an intense craving for sugar. I know sugar is addictive as well. Was I craving it because I was addicted or was it to feed worms in my body?
I do feel my cravings for sugar are gone.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Positivity sucks
This whole 'movement' of being positive makes me feel like I can't share my frustrations in life or my problems because I don't want to be perceived as a downer or negative.
I've mentioned before that I've always had issues with this positivity movement and the 'create your own reality' nonsense that is touted a lot in the new age movements.
I think this is now just another reason why I dislike it. Years ago we were supposedly all repressed and needed to release and vent our frustrations. Now we have to be positive and can't release our frustrations. Isn't this just the same thing, the same form of repression?
Are people really that brainwashed that they can't accept the truth of how they feel? I can still pursue my goals. I don't always need to be positive. I just need to be consistent and focused.
Please don't tell me how to feel or that feeling down is not right. All feelings are right. All feelings are valid. Even the negative ones.
I've mentioned before that I've always had issues with this positivity movement and the 'create your own reality' nonsense that is touted a lot in the new age movements.
I think this is now just another reason why I dislike it. Years ago we were supposedly all repressed and needed to release and vent our frustrations. Now we have to be positive and can't release our frustrations. Isn't this just the same thing, the same form of repression?
Are people really that brainwashed that they can't accept the truth of how they feel? I can still pursue my goals. I don't always need to be positive. I just need to be consistent and focused.
Please don't tell me how to feel or that feeling down is not right. All feelings are right. All feelings are valid. Even the negative ones.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
My Thoughts on the 2012 Euro World Cup
Greetings all,
I thought I would graphically demonstrate my thoughts on this years Euro World Cup. Please note that I reside in the Toronto area, where recently a shooting occurred during a game.
I thought I would graphically demonstrate my thoughts on this years Euro World Cup. Please note that I reside in the Toronto area, where recently a shooting occurred during a game.
Saturday, June 09, 2012
Why I think Happiness is a Myth
Greetings all,
If you go to any bookstore, you will inevitably come across the Self Help section which inevitably will have numerous books on Happiness and how to get it. I think it's a myth and I think pursuing happiness in and of itself leads to unhappiness. So I have always felt it was pointless to try to be happy.
I have moments where I feel good. I have moments where I feel neutral and am just observing. I certainly don't feel happy all the time but I also don't feel unhappy all the time.
I strive more to be truthful. I strive more to live an honest life and not lie to myself about how I feel or what I think. I don't give a shit about being happy because for me, living truthfully makes me feel good and makes me feel relaxed and this in an indirect way, makes me happy.
I'm not happy with some of the externals in my life. I'm not married with children and desire to have these things. I desire to have more money and be an influential person. I've been chronically underemployed and not utilizing my 'potential'. I don't have a house or property or a car. Due to my financial issues and being out of work, I certainly don't feel powerful. I am dissatisfied, especially since I have been laid off 3 times in 4 years and many people seem better off then me.
I don't know what my future holds. Every day I wonder if I can make something out of myself and have a having family of my own and have the lifestyle I've hoped for. Sometimes I feel hopeful. Sometimes I feel dissatisfied and hopeless.
But I don't go around believing and pretending things are okay. I don't lie to myself. This whole Be Happy and Think Positive sometimes just feels so fake. I know for me, I do try to be optimistic and I think one can be positive but not live in some fantasy world where everything is peachy. I think healthy positivity would mean recognizing weaknesses and flaws and just accepting things as they are and then choosing the best course of action.
I watched Das Boot (a movie about the German U-boats of WWII) last week and one of the key moments was when the boat hit the bottom of the ocean because they were bombed and were well below the limit of how deep the boat could safely be. Things were falling apart in the boat and water was coming in. It was a tense scene and the crew didn't know if they were going to die in that boat. Did they sit around and talk about how they feel and how they feel scared and are worried? No they quickly got into action and trying to save their lives with intense vigor. They had to work hours and hours and endure much physical work to the point of exhaustion. They probably felt very unhappy to be in this situation and probably felt a range of emotions such as fear, anger and despair but they continued to work. They did survive and managed to get the boat running. I think what was important is that happiness isn't the be-all and end-all. When put into a crisis situation, happiness just doesn't matter. Happiness is something people think about when they have too much free time and need to get more active in their lives.
So instead of analyzing why you feel unhappy, which sometimes I do, it's better to just realize that happiness is a myth and that life is better lived when you are being truthful to yourself and taking appropriate action. I think having moments of unhappiness is perfectly normal and thinking that you are supposed to be happy when you are not, just makes the situation worse.
If you go to any bookstore, you will inevitably come across the Self Help section which inevitably will have numerous books on Happiness and how to get it. I think it's a myth and I think pursuing happiness in and of itself leads to unhappiness. So I have always felt it was pointless to try to be happy.
I have moments where I feel good. I have moments where I feel neutral and am just observing. I certainly don't feel happy all the time but I also don't feel unhappy all the time.
I strive more to be truthful. I strive more to live an honest life and not lie to myself about how I feel or what I think. I don't give a shit about being happy because for me, living truthfully makes me feel good and makes me feel relaxed and this in an indirect way, makes me happy.
I'm not happy with some of the externals in my life. I'm not married with children and desire to have these things. I desire to have more money and be an influential person. I've been chronically underemployed and not utilizing my 'potential'. I don't have a house or property or a car. Due to my financial issues and being out of work, I certainly don't feel powerful. I am dissatisfied, especially since I have been laid off 3 times in 4 years and many people seem better off then me.
I don't know what my future holds. Every day I wonder if I can make something out of myself and have a having family of my own and have the lifestyle I've hoped for. Sometimes I feel hopeful. Sometimes I feel dissatisfied and hopeless.
But I don't go around believing and pretending things are okay. I don't lie to myself. This whole Be Happy and Think Positive sometimes just feels so fake. I know for me, I do try to be optimistic and I think one can be positive but not live in some fantasy world where everything is peachy. I think healthy positivity would mean recognizing weaknesses and flaws and just accepting things as they are and then choosing the best course of action.
I watched Das Boot (a movie about the German U-boats of WWII) last week and one of the key moments was when the boat hit the bottom of the ocean because they were bombed and were well below the limit of how deep the boat could safely be. Things were falling apart in the boat and water was coming in. It was a tense scene and the crew didn't know if they were going to die in that boat. Did they sit around and talk about how they feel and how they feel scared and are worried? No they quickly got into action and trying to save their lives with intense vigor. They had to work hours and hours and endure much physical work to the point of exhaustion. They probably felt very unhappy to be in this situation and probably felt a range of emotions such as fear, anger and despair but they continued to work. They did survive and managed to get the boat running. I think what was important is that happiness isn't the be-all and end-all. When put into a crisis situation, happiness just doesn't matter. Happiness is something people think about when they have too much free time and need to get more active in their lives.
So instead of analyzing why you feel unhappy, which sometimes I do, it's better to just realize that happiness is a myth and that life is better lived when you are being truthful to yourself and taking appropriate action. I think having moments of unhappiness is perfectly normal and thinking that you are supposed to be happy when you are not, just makes the situation worse.
Friday, June 01, 2012
Boyfriend No Moe
Greetings all,
I dumped my boyfriend of about 8 months a few days ago. I am not terribly heart broken over it but I am sad that I won't be talking to him all the time. He was a good friend and a confidante and I will miss that. I just felt like we should feel love for each other by now. I want things to move forward and they don't seem to be. I think his grey hair bothered me too much. I think he just looks so old for his age and it bothers me to some degree. If I loved him, maybe I wouldn't care but I didn't. I felt like if I continue to stay with him, I might be settling. It's not easy to dump someone that you get along with fairly well but love is either there or it's not.
Breaking up with Old Man Winter wasn't as difficult as the situation with English Muffin, which was really emotional. I think some of my break ups with men are not emotional and some are. I would say at least one quarter of my relationships have been very difficult to bear when over.
I am not sure if I want to start dating again. I need to get a part time job and an apartment. My life is a little crazy right now and hopefully things can get in order this summer.
I dumped my boyfriend of about 8 months a few days ago. I am not terribly heart broken over it but I am sad that I won't be talking to him all the time. He was a good friend and a confidante and I will miss that. I just felt like we should feel love for each other by now. I want things to move forward and they don't seem to be. I think his grey hair bothered me too much. I think he just looks so old for his age and it bothers me to some degree. If I loved him, maybe I wouldn't care but I didn't. I felt like if I continue to stay with him, I might be settling. It's not easy to dump someone that you get along with fairly well but love is either there or it's not.
Breaking up with Old Man Winter wasn't as difficult as the situation with English Muffin, which was really emotional. I think some of my break ups with men are not emotional and some are. I would say at least one quarter of my relationships have been very difficult to bear when over.
I am not sure if I want to start dating again. I need to get a part time job and an apartment. My life is a little crazy right now and hopefully things can get in order this summer.
School
Greetings all,
I've started summer school at university and it has been rather busy. I am going to University of Toronto and have to commute from Hamilton as I have yet to find an apartment. It's been about 4 weeks of classes and I have a midterm for one class and a test for another next week. I am taking Statistics and Economics. Economics is a full credit and so goes until August. Statistics is just a half credit so we are done at end of June.
My statistics teacher is hot and I think he is probably my age. I am a bit behind on homework and hope to catch up this weekend. I tried catching up last weekend but was not able to. Each tutorial we have, there is a short quiz. The class goes from 6-10pm and it's twice a week.
My first week was rough. I signed up for calculus as well. I was sent an email saying students can only take 2 courses and I was planning to drop calculus as I wanted to see what it was like. I was good at math in high school until Calculus where I got a 65%. I will use the summer to relearn some calculus. Some of the content was over my head but I think also, I have not gotten into the rhythm of school, which I seem to now.
I am still apartment hunting but since I am so busy, that has to take a back seat. I might be able to start looking again after I finish statistics. I think Stats has been the class with the most homework and so I think that's what I find overwhelming. I spoke to counsellors at the school before classes and they were saying that taking economics would be enough and perhaps they were right in their advice. But economics on its own doesn't seem too hard for me. The class is called Economics100 and I think it should be renamed to 'boring graphs' because a lot of it seems to be looking at graphs. We have spent most of the time dealing with the concepts of supply and demand and so that makes use of many graphs and how they relate to each other. I take this class with a grain of salt because I know the theory of economics doesn't really match up to the reality of economics. I think reading Steiner's World Economy has been useful because it stimulates more creative thinking whereas the class I am talking about is just giving theoretical knowledge and concepts.
I hate commuting and it is draining my energy. My parents are letting me use their car most times. I recently dumped my boyfriend so now I can't really spend the night at his place and therefore reduce my commuting time.
I've started summer school at university and it has been rather busy. I am going to University of Toronto and have to commute from Hamilton as I have yet to find an apartment. It's been about 4 weeks of classes and I have a midterm for one class and a test for another next week. I am taking Statistics and Economics. Economics is a full credit and so goes until August. Statistics is just a half credit so we are done at end of June.
My statistics teacher is hot and I think he is probably my age. I am a bit behind on homework and hope to catch up this weekend. I tried catching up last weekend but was not able to. Each tutorial we have, there is a short quiz. The class goes from 6-10pm and it's twice a week.
My first week was rough. I signed up for calculus as well. I was sent an email saying students can only take 2 courses and I was planning to drop calculus as I wanted to see what it was like. I was good at math in high school until Calculus where I got a 65%. I will use the summer to relearn some calculus. Some of the content was over my head but I think also, I have not gotten into the rhythm of school, which I seem to now.
I am still apartment hunting but since I am so busy, that has to take a back seat. I might be able to start looking again after I finish statistics. I think Stats has been the class with the most homework and so I think that's what I find overwhelming. I spoke to counsellors at the school before classes and they were saying that taking economics would be enough and perhaps they were right in their advice. But economics on its own doesn't seem too hard for me. The class is called Economics100 and I think it should be renamed to 'boring graphs' because a lot of it seems to be looking at graphs. We have spent most of the time dealing with the concepts of supply and demand and so that makes use of many graphs and how they relate to each other. I take this class with a grain of salt because I know the theory of economics doesn't really match up to the reality of economics. I think reading Steiner's World Economy has been useful because it stimulates more creative thinking whereas the class I am talking about is just giving theoretical knowledge and concepts.
I hate commuting and it is draining my energy. My parents are letting me use their car most times. I recently dumped my boyfriend so now I can't really spend the night at his place and therefore reduce my commuting time.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Travels
Greetings all,
I have returned last Saturday from my vacation. I was in Cambodia for 3 weeks and then spent 3 weeks in Vietnam. It's been a week since I have been back but I am still experiencing jet lag and feel rather tired. I had a good experience but Vietnam and Cambodia are not countries I would want to return to. I learned a bit about their cultures. They had some differences and some similarities. For me, the people of these countries are definitely racist in my mind. In Canada, we are so multicultural but in these countries, I stick out because I am white and for those in certain industries, they just think we white people have so much money. Many tuk tuk drivers or motobike drivers try to take advantage of tourists and many retailers are always trying to sell you something and are extremely annoying.
Just because I have money to fly and visit your country, doesn't mean I have money to burn. I was on a budget and had to respect that. I didn't have a job so I don't have money coming in. Greed is everywhere in the world.
The weather was hot and humid and when I came back home, it was cold. I really hated the heat and humidity but I think I hate the cold more. I am rather tanned and I think at some point in my life, I am going to leave this cold Canada to where it is warmer year round. I know for me, I am tired of the cold.
I have to find a new apartment now and am starting school in a couple of weeks. I am taking economics and signed up for calculus but the summer session is shorter and I think calculus is basically like a year class, I may drop it and take prep courses for math as I am a bit out of practice when it comes to math.
I also feel rather out of practice with my kundalini yoga. I didn't do much yoga while traveling and now I find it hard to get back into a regular discipline and meditation. I am also feeling depressed. Not quite sure why but hopefully things will get better for me and that I get back into meditating.
I have returned last Saturday from my vacation. I was in Cambodia for 3 weeks and then spent 3 weeks in Vietnam. It's been a week since I have been back but I am still experiencing jet lag and feel rather tired. I had a good experience but Vietnam and Cambodia are not countries I would want to return to. I learned a bit about their cultures. They had some differences and some similarities. For me, the people of these countries are definitely racist in my mind. In Canada, we are so multicultural but in these countries, I stick out because I am white and for those in certain industries, they just think we white people have so much money. Many tuk tuk drivers or motobike drivers try to take advantage of tourists and many retailers are always trying to sell you something and are extremely annoying.
Just because I have money to fly and visit your country, doesn't mean I have money to burn. I was on a budget and had to respect that. I didn't have a job so I don't have money coming in. Greed is everywhere in the world.
The weather was hot and humid and when I came back home, it was cold. I really hated the heat and humidity but I think I hate the cold more. I am rather tanned and I think at some point in my life, I am going to leave this cold Canada to where it is warmer year round. I know for me, I am tired of the cold.
I have to find a new apartment now and am starting school in a couple of weeks. I am taking economics and signed up for calculus but the summer session is shorter and I think calculus is basically like a year class, I may drop it and take prep courses for math as I am a bit out of practice when it comes to math.
I also feel rather out of practice with my kundalini yoga. I didn't do much yoga while traveling and now I find it hard to get back into a regular discipline and meditation. I am also feeling depressed. Not quite sure why but hopefully things will get better for me and that I get back into meditating.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Hello Cambodia!
Greetings all,
I have been laid off 3 times in the past 4 years and I have had enough. Getting constantly laid off had taken its toll on my soul. Getting laid off once, sure I handled it. Twice was pushing it but three was the straw that broke the camel's back. Originally I planned to go back to school part time because I only went for 1 year university because I didn't know what to major in and didn't see the point of spending the money as I chose to pay my own way through school.
Since I've been laid off so many times, I tend to be out of work in the beginning of the year and with the way the economy has been, it would take months and months and hundreds of resumes sent with a handful of interviews secured before I ended up finding work.
I'd had enough and with my seasonal affective disorder (SAD), I could not tolerate staying in a dark and cold country and spend my time searching for a job that takes forever to arrive. I wanted to do something different and break the cycle.
So I decided to go back full time to school and start in May. I plan to study economics and math. Mainly because in my anthroposophical book group, I've been interested in economics and how to organize society in a manner that embraces the spirit and meets the material needs of the people. Steiner has written and lectured about World Economy and about the Three Fold Social Order. I think it makes sense and the brilliance of his concepts is that he doesn't say what to do but gets you to look at things from a different angle and thus your thinking capacity is stimulated and you learn how to attack problems from a more creative place, which I feel is sorely lacking in our society.
Since I didn't want to look for work I decided I'd kill time by traveling. I decided I'll look for a part time job when I return. I've known people who have done service work and so I thought I'd try it myself but do it in a different country. I learned about voluntourism which is where you pay an organization and they find you a placement. Part of the costs covers food and rent but some of it obviously goes in the pockets of the company. Nothing wrong with that. You provide a service, why not get paid for it? It didn't appeal to me because I'm sure I could find a place on my own to volunteer. And some of the companies had crazy prices, like $4000 for 2 weeks. The more reasonably priced ones were a quarter of that. Also this cost does not include the cost of the flight.
I had no specific country that I was drawn to visiting but I looked at one company's descriptions of the type of placements and the countries available and I decided on Cambodia and wanted to find an organization that was involved in human rights. I had to think about this because I initially wanted to spend all my time volunteering but then I thought that I like to travel and it's going to be hard for me to be in a country and just stay in one area. I decided that I'd spend less time volunteering so I could get some travel time in.
I ended up finding an organization that does work in human rights and community development. I met with them on Monday. They are located in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. I started to do work for them on Tuesday (yesterday). I was to do work like administration, microfinance and editing reports that were in english. They told me on Monday I could go out to a village as one of my tasks. I was shown something on microfinance but I don't know what they were planning for me. I also got some reports to edit and edited an annual report. It was informative and I got to learn more about what they do.
I didn't feel good volunteering. It felt like a job and I wasn't going to get paid. I've volunteered before and usually I enjoy what I do. I've volunteered for some art organizations where I act as an ambassador and answer people's questions. It was fun and I got the perk of being able to attend events and in some cases see free shows. People who do other volunteer work, do it because they feel they get something out of it. It makes them feel good. I just wasn't feeling good. Also there were no hostels near where I was working. Maybe I could have found a hotel, which tend to more expensive but it would cost me $4 each way on a tuk tuk to get there. (tuk tuk is the only public way to get around as there is no transit system I possibly could have rented a scooter but I don't have experience using one and the traffic here is crazy and they utilize minimal stop lights.
I've been in Phnom Penh for a week now and have pretty much seen all the main things to see. The city is quite busy and loud. It's also very hot and humid and I hate the humidity. There are many scooters on the roads and some cars. The city is quite loud and parts are rather dirty and smelly. I was starting to get sick of staying here. I live in a big city and really want to get away from the big city and would rather be in a more calm place. I am starting to get annoyed with Phnom Penh and feel I need to leave because the city is starting to drive me nuts. Tuk tuk drivers are constantly asking me if I need a ride. They are like the paparazzi! Give me some space damn it!
I was talking with one of my hostel mates last night about the city and how I'm not sure if I should stay to volunteer. I was quite unhappy but at the same time I don't like to quit things. I decided that I'm not going to continue volunteering. Maybe in the future I can give it more thought but right now doing the volunteering I did yesterday was not something I'd be happy doing. So I'm leaving tomorrow and heading south. There are other places in the country I want to see. I plan to stay in Cambodia for a couple of more weeks and want to see Vietnam and Laos and possibly a bit of Thailand. I have until mid April to travel. I bought a one way ticket so my return is flexible, although I am starting school in May and need to find a place to live for May as I moved out and put my stuff in storage.
I felt bad and stressed about continuing to volunteer because I wanted to see what the rest of this country looks like and didn't want to be stuck here in Phnom Penh. I think traveling is probably better for me. I guess my aspiration of being a humanitarian didn't work out but at least if I decide to do something, it should be something I'd enjoy doing for free and maybe volunteering in my own country would be better. Or maybe I just need to find something that I can enjoy doing for a short period of time, like a week. But also maybe I'm just not the type to work while traveling since I am curious and like to explore and at heart am probably more a traveler then a humanitarian.
Do-gooding will have to wait. Adventure awaits!
I have been laid off 3 times in the past 4 years and I have had enough. Getting constantly laid off had taken its toll on my soul. Getting laid off once, sure I handled it. Twice was pushing it but three was the straw that broke the camel's back. Originally I planned to go back to school part time because I only went for 1 year university because I didn't know what to major in and didn't see the point of spending the money as I chose to pay my own way through school.
Since I've been laid off so many times, I tend to be out of work in the beginning of the year and with the way the economy has been, it would take months and months and hundreds of resumes sent with a handful of interviews secured before I ended up finding work.
I'd had enough and with my seasonal affective disorder (SAD), I could not tolerate staying in a dark and cold country and spend my time searching for a job that takes forever to arrive. I wanted to do something different and break the cycle.
So I decided to go back full time to school and start in May. I plan to study economics and math. Mainly because in my anthroposophical book group, I've been interested in economics and how to organize society in a manner that embraces the spirit and meets the material needs of the people. Steiner has written and lectured about World Economy and about the Three Fold Social Order. I think it makes sense and the brilliance of his concepts is that he doesn't say what to do but gets you to look at things from a different angle and thus your thinking capacity is stimulated and you learn how to attack problems from a more creative place, which I feel is sorely lacking in our society.
Since I didn't want to look for work I decided I'd kill time by traveling. I decided I'll look for a part time job when I return. I've known people who have done service work and so I thought I'd try it myself but do it in a different country. I learned about voluntourism which is where you pay an organization and they find you a placement. Part of the costs covers food and rent but some of it obviously goes in the pockets of the company. Nothing wrong with that. You provide a service, why not get paid for it? It didn't appeal to me because I'm sure I could find a place on my own to volunteer. And some of the companies had crazy prices, like $4000 for 2 weeks. The more reasonably priced ones were a quarter of that. Also this cost does not include the cost of the flight.
I had no specific country that I was drawn to visiting but I looked at one company's descriptions of the type of placements and the countries available and I decided on Cambodia and wanted to find an organization that was involved in human rights. I had to think about this because I initially wanted to spend all my time volunteering but then I thought that I like to travel and it's going to be hard for me to be in a country and just stay in one area. I decided that I'd spend less time volunteering so I could get some travel time in.
I ended up finding an organization that does work in human rights and community development. I met with them on Monday. They are located in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. I started to do work for them on Tuesday (yesterday). I was to do work like administration, microfinance and editing reports that were in english. They told me on Monday I could go out to a village as one of my tasks. I was shown something on microfinance but I don't know what they were planning for me. I also got some reports to edit and edited an annual report. It was informative and I got to learn more about what they do.
I didn't feel good volunteering. It felt like a job and I wasn't going to get paid. I've volunteered before and usually I enjoy what I do. I've volunteered for some art organizations where I act as an ambassador and answer people's questions. It was fun and I got the perk of being able to attend events and in some cases see free shows. People who do other volunteer work, do it because they feel they get something out of it. It makes them feel good. I just wasn't feeling good. Also there were no hostels near where I was working. Maybe I could have found a hotel, which tend to more expensive but it would cost me $4 each way on a tuk tuk to get there. (tuk tuk is the only public way to get around as there is no transit system I possibly could have rented a scooter but I don't have experience using one and the traffic here is crazy and they utilize minimal stop lights.
I've been in Phnom Penh for a week now and have pretty much seen all the main things to see. The city is quite busy and loud. It's also very hot and humid and I hate the humidity. There are many scooters on the roads and some cars. The city is quite loud and parts are rather dirty and smelly. I was starting to get sick of staying here. I live in a big city and really want to get away from the big city and would rather be in a more calm place. I am starting to get annoyed with Phnom Penh and feel I need to leave because the city is starting to drive me nuts. Tuk tuk drivers are constantly asking me if I need a ride. They are like the paparazzi! Give me some space damn it!
I was talking with one of my hostel mates last night about the city and how I'm not sure if I should stay to volunteer. I was quite unhappy but at the same time I don't like to quit things. I decided that I'm not going to continue volunteering. Maybe in the future I can give it more thought but right now doing the volunteering I did yesterday was not something I'd be happy doing. So I'm leaving tomorrow and heading south. There are other places in the country I want to see. I plan to stay in Cambodia for a couple of more weeks and want to see Vietnam and Laos and possibly a bit of Thailand. I have until mid April to travel. I bought a one way ticket so my return is flexible, although I am starting school in May and need to find a place to live for May as I moved out and put my stuff in storage.
I felt bad and stressed about continuing to volunteer because I wanted to see what the rest of this country looks like and didn't want to be stuck here in Phnom Penh. I think traveling is probably better for me. I guess my aspiration of being a humanitarian didn't work out but at least if I decide to do something, it should be something I'd enjoy doing for free and maybe volunteering in my own country would be better. Or maybe I just need to find something that I can enjoy doing for a short period of time, like a week. But also maybe I'm just not the type to work while traveling since I am curious and like to explore and at heart am probably more a traveler then a humanitarian.
Do-gooding will have to wait. Adventure awaits!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
My Experience with Ortho C Lenses - Part 4: Final Review
Greetings all,
I have not written about my experience with my ortho c lens in quite a while. You can learn the history of my experience as follows:
My Experience with Ortho C Part 1
My Experience with Ortho C Part 2
My Experience with Ortho C Part 3
Back in December I got a new pair of lens but Mr. Yee said this was to do drills with. So I had to wear the regular lens he gave me and then wear the drill lens. I tried this for about a month and had to do it twice a week. I didn't really notice a difference and he said it would help probably 1 or 2 diopters. The drills were basically similar to a Bates exercise where you stand in front of this star object and look between 2 points and move your eyes from one point to another and do this 10 times.
I notice that many people would look up my blog to learn about ortho c lens and my initial journey began in the summer of 2007. I can say I didn't think these were good for me.
I have high myopia and initially my prescription was -8.5(right eye) and -8.00(left eye). I thought using the new lens for drills would help but I really didn't notice a difference but I also found the process too high maintenance for me and with little noticeable difference.
I had decided years ago that I wanted to improve my vision and control my myopia because like most myopes, I was getting tired of my prescription getting worse and being told the same excuse my eye is still growing. When you are in your late 20s, this excuse just doesn't fly anymore.
Anyways, it boiled down to ortho c lens or ortho k. I opted for ortho c because Yee claimed on his site it would be permanent. On my reviews, you can read more about my experience but last month I decided that I'd quit this ortho c nonsense. Perhaps my myopia was too high for Yee to correct and so maybe his technique is suitable for people with a lower prescription.
I decided I will try ortho k and yesterday went to get my eyes checked. Now I'm not going yet for the procedure, but it was to see if I'd be a suitable candidate. I had my prescription rechecked and my right eye was -8.25 and my left was -7.50. So 4.5 years ago my right was -8.5 and my left -8 so my right eye improved by .25 and my left .50.
So obviously this ortho c isn't long term because that initial 2 diopter improvement I had disappeared. I'm glad that I'm going to quit it. Yee wanted me to wear a weaker prescription and frankly I was getting tired of not seeing 20/20. I hope that ortho k will be effective. I've done some research on it and it seems better.
Ortho k is not permanent and only works if you keep wearing the lens. You are to wear the lens at night when you sleep and can see clearly with no contacts or glasses during the day. For some people they can go a few nights without wearing one after their eye has stabilized. Of course, the eye can see clearly all day depends on the myopia and it requires some time because in the beginning, your eye will not be able to see 20/20 all day but the process probably takes a few weeks, again depending on your prescription. The industry is improving so the lens are probably able to treat the problem quicker.
I have found 2 informative videos about ortho k:
The 1st video is a Fox news video on ortho k that explains overall the process. Normally I don't trust Fox news but this seemed legit. I think it's a good news story that covers this topic and there do seem to be some happy clients for whom this treatment was effective.
The 2nd video on youtube about ortho k is also informative and involves an interview with an ortho k optician.
I thought John Yee was sincere in his approach. The thing is that his product is just being developed by him, whereas ortho k has been developed for over 40 years and there are many people who have worked to improve it. It does make me wonder if he is stealing some of the concepts. I mean, with ortho k you have to use the lens regularly. Why would his lens require that you use it only for a few minutes and he claims the changes are permanent? Maybe he needs to modify his claims. I just don't feel he was being dishonest. Maybe he was naive with his research. Maybe he's just not a good scientist and in being innovative. Perhaps he did stumble upon something that was worth studying. But Ortho k has more scientific research behind it. It's been in development longer and it has more people involved in its improvement, where Yee is just one man. He should have his ortho c undergo more serious testing. He should have it peer reviewed. If ortho c was so effective, he should be training others in the field and really educating opticians. But none of this is done. He has a patent but that doesn't mean anything. He didn't charge me a lot of money and I really do feel he is sincere. I met him and never got the scammer vibe from him. I don't know enough about his list of clients and their experience. I just write about my own.
Overall I didn't get what I thought I would. Maybe my myopia was too high. I don't recommend ortho c. If my initial 2 diopter improvement was not sustainable, his lens are basically the same as an ortho k but at least with ortho k, they tell you it's not permanent and if you stop wearing them regularly your vision will go back to what it was.
I have not written about my experience with my ortho c lens in quite a while. You can learn the history of my experience as follows:
My Experience with Ortho C Part 1
My Experience with Ortho C Part 2
My Experience with Ortho C Part 3
Back in December I got a new pair of lens but Mr. Yee said this was to do drills with. So I had to wear the regular lens he gave me and then wear the drill lens. I tried this for about a month and had to do it twice a week. I didn't really notice a difference and he said it would help probably 1 or 2 diopters. The drills were basically similar to a Bates exercise where you stand in front of this star object and look between 2 points and move your eyes from one point to another and do this 10 times.
I notice that many people would look up my blog to learn about ortho c lens and my initial journey began in the summer of 2007. I can say I didn't think these were good for me.
I have high myopia and initially my prescription was -8.5(right eye) and -8.00(left eye). I thought using the new lens for drills would help but I really didn't notice a difference but I also found the process too high maintenance for me and with little noticeable difference.
I had decided years ago that I wanted to improve my vision and control my myopia because like most myopes, I was getting tired of my prescription getting worse and being told the same excuse my eye is still growing. When you are in your late 20s, this excuse just doesn't fly anymore.
Anyways, it boiled down to ortho c lens or ortho k. I opted for ortho c because Yee claimed on his site it would be permanent. On my reviews, you can read more about my experience but last month I decided that I'd quit this ortho c nonsense. Perhaps my myopia was too high for Yee to correct and so maybe his technique is suitable for people with a lower prescription.
I decided I will try ortho k and yesterday went to get my eyes checked. Now I'm not going yet for the procedure, but it was to see if I'd be a suitable candidate. I had my prescription rechecked and my right eye was -8.25 and my left was -7.50. So 4.5 years ago my right was -8.5 and my left -8 so my right eye improved by .25 and my left .50.
So obviously this ortho c isn't long term because that initial 2 diopter improvement I had disappeared. I'm glad that I'm going to quit it. Yee wanted me to wear a weaker prescription and frankly I was getting tired of not seeing 20/20. I hope that ortho k will be effective. I've done some research on it and it seems better.
Ortho k is not permanent and only works if you keep wearing the lens. You are to wear the lens at night when you sleep and can see clearly with no contacts or glasses during the day. For some people they can go a few nights without wearing one after their eye has stabilized. Of course, the eye can see clearly all day depends on the myopia and it requires some time because in the beginning, your eye will not be able to see 20/20 all day but the process probably takes a few weeks, again depending on your prescription. The industry is improving so the lens are probably able to treat the problem quicker.
I have found 2 informative videos about ortho k:
The 1st video is a Fox news video on ortho k that explains overall the process. Normally I don't trust Fox news but this seemed legit. I think it's a good news story that covers this topic and there do seem to be some happy clients for whom this treatment was effective.
The 2nd video on youtube about ortho k is also informative and involves an interview with an ortho k optician.
I thought John Yee was sincere in his approach. The thing is that his product is just being developed by him, whereas ortho k has been developed for over 40 years and there are many people who have worked to improve it. It does make me wonder if he is stealing some of the concepts. I mean, with ortho k you have to use the lens regularly. Why would his lens require that you use it only for a few minutes and he claims the changes are permanent? Maybe he needs to modify his claims. I just don't feel he was being dishonest. Maybe he was naive with his research. Maybe he's just not a good scientist and in being innovative. Perhaps he did stumble upon something that was worth studying. But Ortho k has more scientific research behind it. It's been in development longer and it has more people involved in its improvement, where Yee is just one man. He should have his ortho c undergo more serious testing. He should have it peer reviewed. If ortho c was so effective, he should be training others in the field and really educating opticians. But none of this is done. He has a patent but that doesn't mean anything. He didn't charge me a lot of money and I really do feel he is sincere. I met him and never got the scammer vibe from him. I don't know enough about his list of clients and their experience. I just write about my own.
Overall I didn't get what I thought I would. Maybe my myopia was too high. I don't recommend ortho c. If my initial 2 diopter improvement was not sustainable, his lens are basically the same as an ortho k but at least with ortho k, they tell you it's not permanent and if you stop wearing them regularly your vision will go back to what it was.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Men are Pointless!
Greetings all,
I decided to contact that former interest of mine. I came up with the idea of saying thanks for subscribing to my you tube page. He quickly emailed me back wanting to know what I was up to. I told him how I quit stand up. He said that was a shame. I was trying to be a professional when I last talked to him but I knew that I needed a day job while I was working on it as a hobby. I just told him it was a hobby for me.
He then asked what I do to pay the bills (again comedy was never something that payed the bills as it was just a hobby for me at this point) and I said I was laid off again back in December and that I must have bad job karma because I've been laid off 3 times in 4 years and that I think the system and economy was a joke. I said I planned to go back to school as well.
I didn't hear back from him. It upset me because it just goes to show me he's not the right person. He's way too much drama. I don't know what is his problem but if he thinks there's something wrong with me because I seem to have trouble keeping a job, then he is wrong. The economy is terrible and I've unfortunately been on the wrong end. I'm a good worker and good employee. It's that companies are jokes and don't care about employees, just about themselves. I want to go to school, mainly because I feel I need some intellectuality in my life again. I hope it can help me in finding better work but I know that a degree doesn't guarantee you anything.
Some people just don't have luck in their life inspite of their best effort and good intentions. I'm done with him and he can fuck himself because if someone can't be there when you're down, they don't deserve you if things pick up.
I decided to contact that former interest of mine. I came up with the idea of saying thanks for subscribing to my you tube page. He quickly emailed me back wanting to know what I was up to. I told him how I quit stand up. He said that was a shame. I was trying to be a professional when I last talked to him but I knew that I needed a day job while I was working on it as a hobby. I just told him it was a hobby for me.
He then asked what I do to pay the bills (again comedy was never something that payed the bills as it was just a hobby for me at this point) and I said I was laid off again back in December and that I must have bad job karma because I've been laid off 3 times in 4 years and that I think the system and economy was a joke. I said I planned to go back to school as well.
I didn't hear back from him. It upset me because it just goes to show me he's not the right person. He's way too much drama. I don't know what is his problem but if he thinks there's something wrong with me because I seem to have trouble keeping a job, then he is wrong. The economy is terrible and I've unfortunately been on the wrong end. I'm a good worker and good employee. It's that companies are jokes and don't care about employees, just about themselves. I want to go to school, mainly because I feel I need some intellectuality in my life again. I hope it can help me in finding better work but I know that a degree doesn't guarantee you anything.
Some people just don't have luck in their life inspite of their best effort and good intentions. I'm done with him and he can fuck himself because if someone can't be there when you're down, they don't deserve you if things pick up.
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Pointless
Greetings all,
I have decided to leave my apartment and travel for about 6 weeks. I had originally planned to go to school part-time in May but am changing it to full time since I got laid off from my job.
I told my mom my plans to travel and this upsets her. I spend, what I think is a ridiculous amount on rent. Heck, anything over $600 is ridiculous to me because I'm basically giving away money to someone for nothing, just the chance to borrow their space which they get to profit from.
I want to do service work and researched this online. Many companies offer you a volunteer placement but there is some cost involved. Some seem more expensive then others. Cost includes living expenses and food. The companies do make some money from it. I decided I'd rather find my own volunteer placement since I don't want to pay to volunteer.
For me, since I have been out of work and laid off 3 times in the past 4 years I have given up on finding a job. I never could find work this time of year so why waste it being miserable searching? I've learned this from EXPERIENCE. My parents think I should keep trying but it's fruitless. I really truly believe in my heart and mind that I will not find a job this time of year. Maybe when I return in April, I will have better luck in finding something part-time. For me I just feel it would be pointless. My parents have no clue what it's like.
I really think I'll be lucky if I can buy a house at 40 at the way things are going for me. I know I am probably more negative because of my Seasonal Affective Disorder but I just don't know anyone who has been laid off as I have in such a short span. I would be lying if I said this was the last straw. I was only at my job for 5 months and they let people go. This has been too much to bear for me. I have been POOR for 4 years and only able to afford basic living expenses like food and rent.
My mother wants me to see a counsellor but they cost money. My doctor is in Hamilton and I have yet to find a new one because we have a doctor shortage in our country. And if I want to see a counsellor outside my doctor's office I probably will have to pay for it. Our medical system is a joke. I don't support our pharmaceutical approach to medical and yet I have no choice and if I want to use alternative medicine like the orthomolecular or a naturalpathic doctor, I have to pay for one out of my own pocket.
Our country is a joke. The way people organize our country is a joke. The way corporations can screw around its employees is a joke. Life is a joke but the joke is on people like me.
I have decided to leave my apartment and travel for about 6 weeks. I had originally planned to go to school part-time in May but am changing it to full time since I got laid off from my job.
I told my mom my plans to travel and this upsets her. I spend, what I think is a ridiculous amount on rent. Heck, anything over $600 is ridiculous to me because I'm basically giving away money to someone for nothing, just the chance to borrow their space which they get to profit from.
I want to do service work and researched this online. Many companies offer you a volunteer placement but there is some cost involved. Some seem more expensive then others. Cost includes living expenses and food. The companies do make some money from it. I decided I'd rather find my own volunteer placement since I don't want to pay to volunteer.
For me, since I have been out of work and laid off 3 times in the past 4 years I have given up on finding a job. I never could find work this time of year so why waste it being miserable searching? I've learned this from EXPERIENCE. My parents think I should keep trying but it's fruitless. I really truly believe in my heart and mind that I will not find a job this time of year. Maybe when I return in April, I will have better luck in finding something part-time. For me I just feel it would be pointless. My parents have no clue what it's like.
I really think I'll be lucky if I can buy a house at 40 at the way things are going for me. I know I am probably more negative because of my Seasonal Affective Disorder but I just don't know anyone who has been laid off as I have in such a short span. I would be lying if I said this was the last straw. I was only at my job for 5 months and they let people go. This has been too much to bear for me. I have been POOR for 4 years and only able to afford basic living expenses like food and rent.
My mother wants me to see a counsellor but they cost money. My doctor is in Hamilton and I have yet to find a new one because we have a doctor shortage in our country. And if I want to see a counsellor outside my doctor's office I probably will have to pay for it. Our medical system is a joke. I don't support our pharmaceutical approach to medical and yet I have no choice and if I want to use alternative medicine like the orthomolecular or a naturalpathic doctor, I have to pay for one out of my own pocket.
Our country is a joke. The way people organize our country is a joke. The way corporations can screw around its employees is a joke. Life is a joke but the joke is on people like me.
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Men!
Greetings all,
Yesterday someone subscribed to one of my You Tube pages. I was surprised to see that it was the guy from England whom I corresponded with a long time ago, whom I nicknamed The English Muffin.
I currently have a boyfriend (Old Man Winter) of over 5 months. Part of me still missed him and wished that he would send me an email and we could reconcile. Another part of me was trying so hard to forgot about him and wanted to move on.
I was so upset to see him subscribe because to me it meant he wants something from me. He either wants friendship or the pseudo relationship we had.
And I was pissed.
My current boyfriend treats me well. He cooks for me on occasion. He is good in bed. He picks me up at my place because I don't have a car. He walks me to my door. We talk pretty much every day.
The English Muffin. What has he done? He'd make up excuses he was too busy to always talk to me. Yes there was a 5 hour time difference and I could live with the fact that we'd not always get to talk but by the end we were just talking once or twice a week. What's the point of that? I was getting crumbs from him. He wanted me to visit him. Again. I had already went to see him and it was his time. He'd come up with a lame excuse but then I learned later on he went to Vancouver to visit his friend and a year ago started to work in Afghanistan.
Right, like I want that in my life.
I figured because a part of me pined for him, I'd be happy he was reaching out to me but all I feel is anger. He broke my heart and I just won't tolerate it. I don't trust him. He's going to have to do a heck lot more if he even gets the chance to be my friend.
I'm not here for his convenience. I'm not some toy that he can talk to when he's bored and needs a good laugh. We met on eharmony and I was looking for a meaningful, long term relationship. I don't know what he was looking for but I'm just not going to get involved.
I can't believe the nerve of someone, trying to reconcile after 2 years. Get lost I say! Too little, too late. I tried to work things out but all he could do was ignore me. Every time there was conflict, he'd ignore me for months. This was not healthy behaviour.
Relationships are 2 way streets and if you just don't want to do your part, then what's the point? I just won't be involved with someone who just doesn't reciprocate.
Yesterday someone subscribed to one of my You Tube pages. I was surprised to see that it was the guy from England whom I corresponded with a long time ago, whom I nicknamed The English Muffin.
I currently have a boyfriend (Old Man Winter) of over 5 months. Part of me still missed him and wished that he would send me an email and we could reconcile. Another part of me was trying so hard to forgot about him and wanted to move on.
I was so upset to see him subscribe because to me it meant he wants something from me. He either wants friendship or the pseudo relationship we had.
And I was pissed.
My current boyfriend treats me well. He cooks for me on occasion. He is good in bed. He picks me up at my place because I don't have a car. He walks me to my door. We talk pretty much every day.
The English Muffin. What has he done? He'd make up excuses he was too busy to always talk to me. Yes there was a 5 hour time difference and I could live with the fact that we'd not always get to talk but by the end we were just talking once or twice a week. What's the point of that? I was getting crumbs from him. He wanted me to visit him. Again. I had already went to see him and it was his time. He'd come up with a lame excuse but then I learned later on he went to Vancouver to visit his friend and a year ago started to work in Afghanistan.
Right, like I want that in my life.
I figured because a part of me pined for him, I'd be happy he was reaching out to me but all I feel is anger. He broke my heart and I just won't tolerate it. I don't trust him. He's going to have to do a heck lot more if he even gets the chance to be my friend.
I'm not here for his convenience. I'm not some toy that he can talk to when he's bored and needs a good laugh. We met on eharmony and I was looking for a meaningful, long term relationship. I don't know what he was looking for but I'm just not going to get involved.
I can't believe the nerve of someone, trying to reconcile after 2 years. Get lost I say! Too little, too late. I tried to work things out but all he could do was ignore me. Every time there was conflict, he'd ignore me for months. This was not healthy behaviour.
Relationships are 2 way streets and if you just don't want to do your part, then what's the point? I just won't be involved with someone who just doesn't reciprocate.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
An Update on my Seasonal Affective Disorder
Greetings all,
I've done a bit of experimenting with pills and what not. I have tried Valkee earlier in the season and didn't find it helped. I joined an email group and an online forum for SAD sufferers so that has been helpful.
I got a lux meter to measure the strength of my light box as someone recommended this. I bought one on ebay and there was a delay in the shipping but I received last week and tested out my light box. I never liked my light box and it actually was not testing up to what it was supposed to be. For a light box to be effective, you have to have it emit 10,000 lux. Mine was emitting this, at 5 inches. I sit 20" from it and this was as close as I could comfortably sit from it. I would use it at breakfast so if I had it any closer, it would not be comfortable. At 20" it only emits 4000 lux which means I would have to sit in front of it for an hour to be effective, which clearly is not good. I have stopped using it since I returned from my trip.
Someone else recommended an infrared ceramic heater and just sitting it front of it daily for 20 minutes. They recommended trying an infrared sauna to see if that boosts your mood. I tried infrared saunas years ago and was not sure if it helped my SAD but I did like how saunas help you detox. Years ago I did want a sauna for myself but all I found were wooden ones. I ended up looking at ebay and noticed they had portable saunas so I decided to buy one. I wanted to use it for detox purpose but we'll see if it helps with my SAD. Apparently the infrared produces tetrahydrobiopterin (BH4) which is used to make serotonin. I may need to use it daily or every other day but we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't help with the SAD I'll still enjoy it for the detox purpose.
I was using fish oil which I said made me feel good but that only seemed to last for a few days and then I went back to feeling sleepy and tired. I do think I will continue to take fish oil because I don't eat fish and I probably don't get all of my daily omega 3. I bought flax oil but then found out that while it is high in omega 3, not the DHA and EPA of fish oil but of the ALA type. ALA can convert to the other 2 types of omega 3 but it is not efficient about it. I still want to try some flax and see how I like it. I might switch to fish oil pills in the future.
I also take vitamin d but never noticed much. I've considered modifying my diet but I am set in my ways. My dad has diabetes so I think by the time I hit my 40s, I should cut back on sugar but I love chocolate!
I have been experimenting with the supplement 5htp, which is an amino acid that is a precursor to serotonin. I started to take it when I came back from my vacation and I bought pills that were 100mg. I took it just before bed and I had a hard time waking up at a normal time and would sleep until noon. For me this was not normal since normally I get up by 8.
I thought maybe I need to start at 50mg. After a week, I stopped taking them and then I noticed my sleepiness would return and I would begin to yawn during the day time hours. Many would say that this is common but not for me. And it was numerous yawning and feeling tired. In the spring and summer time, I would be fine in the day and not feel tired. I might feel a bit tired but with SAD, it's more tired and sleep doesn't remedy the situation. I think many people don't get how serious and difficult this is to have. It's chronic tiredness and less energy then the rest of the year. We've all felt tired but usually a good night's sleep does the trick. With SAD it is ongoing.
So I did noticed once I stopped 5htp that it was having an effect on me, but just with some negative side effects i.e. sleeping in. I decided to cut back to 50mg and I still had trouble getting out of bed but not as bad. I decided to take it earlier in the day so that was better for me.
I am glad that 5htp has had a positive effect on my system. Nothing more frustrating then feeling tired for half the year. I will be seeing my doctor next week and tell her what I am doing. I also read that you can slowly increase your dosage. Not sure if I really need to but I guess I can take the full 100mg since my system seems to have adjusted to it.
I've done a bit of experimenting with pills and what not. I have tried Valkee earlier in the season and didn't find it helped. I joined an email group and an online forum for SAD sufferers so that has been helpful.
I got a lux meter to measure the strength of my light box as someone recommended this. I bought one on ebay and there was a delay in the shipping but I received last week and tested out my light box. I never liked my light box and it actually was not testing up to what it was supposed to be. For a light box to be effective, you have to have it emit 10,000 lux. Mine was emitting this, at 5 inches. I sit 20" from it and this was as close as I could comfortably sit from it. I would use it at breakfast so if I had it any closer, it would not be comfortable. At 20" it only emits 4000 lux which means I would have to sit in front of it for an hour to be effective, which clearly is not good. I have stopped using it since I returned from my trip.
Someone else recommended an infrared ceramic heater and just sitting it front of it daily for 20 minutes. They recommended trying an infrared sauna to see if that boosts your mood. I tried infrared saunas years ago and was not sure if it helped my SAD but I did like how saunas help you detox. Years ago I did want a sauna for myself but all I found were wooden ones. I ended up looking at ebay and noticed they had portable saunas so I decided to buy one. I wanted to use it for detox purpose but we'll see if it helps with my SAD. Apparently the infrared produces tetrahydrobiopterin (BH4) which is used to make serotonin. I may need to use it daily or every other day but we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't help with the SAD I'll still enjoy it for the detox purpose.
I was using fish oil which I said made me feel good but that only seemed to last for a few days and then I went back to feeling sleepy and tired. I do think I will continue to take fish oil because I don't eat fish and I probably don't get all of my daily omega 3. I bought flax oil but then found out that while it is high in omega 3, not the DHA and EPA of fish oil but of the ALA type. ALA can convert to the other 2 types of omega 3 but it is not efficient about it. I still want to try some flax and see how I like it. I might switch to fish oil pills in the future.
I also take vitamin d but never noticed much. I've considered modifying my diet but I am set in my ways. My dad has diabetes so I think by the time I hit my 40s, I should cut back on sugar but I love chocolate!
I have been experimenting with the supplement 5htp, which is an amino acid that is a precursor to serotonin. I started to take it when I came back from my vacation and I bought pills that were 100mg. I took it just before bed and I had a hard time waking up at a normal time and would sleep until noon. For me this was not normal since normally I get up by 8.
I thought maybe I need to start at 50mg. After a week, I stopped taking them and then I noticed my sleepiness would return and I would begin to yawn during the day time hours. Many would say that this is common but not for me. And it was numerous yawning and feeling tired. In the spring and summer time, I would be fine in the day and not feel tired. I might feel a bit tired but with SAD, it's more tired and sleep doesn't remedy the situation. I think many people don't get how serious and difficult this is to have. It's chronic tiredness and less energy then the rest of the year. We've all felt tired but usually a good night's sleep does the trick. With SAD it is ongoing.
So I did noticed once I stopped 5htp that it was having an effect on me, but just with some negative side effects i.e. sleeping in. I decided to cut back to 50mg and I still had trouble getting out of bed but not as bad. I decided to take it earlier in the day so that was better for me.
I am glad that 5htp has had a positive effect on my system. Nothing more frustrating then feeling tired for half the year. I will be seeing my doctor next week and tell her what I am doing. I also read that you can slowly increase your dosage. Not sure if I really need to but I guess I can take the full 100mg since my system seems to have adjusted to it.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Hello 2012!
Greetings all,
I think for me the highlight of 2011 was getting rid of my gumball machine business in the fall. It wasn't that I got a job (that ended up terminating at the end of the year) or that I went to Mexico and got my Open Water SCUBA certificate and saw some Mayan Ruins or that I have been dating a man for the past 4 months. I've had this part time business since 2003 and hated the business right away but I stuck it out for years and for probably the past 5 years I've been wanting to sell them and get rid of them.
Getting rid of them and closing this business was the highlight because it was such a burden to be in charge of this business. It wasn't hard to do. It was just a burden mentally because I didn't get out of it what I thought I would and it was hard to get out of it. I couldn't just quit owning these machines because I had them in location and it took effort to find locations and just get started.
I think my dad likes to think I never should have done this but I feel that I learned something from this. I think it helped give me some sense that starting a business requires.
I definitely think I am one of these people that just likes to get things done. I don't want to spend too much time analyzing. I think I learned that the people selling me the machines, obviously want to paint their product in the best light. I didn't make as much money as they said the machines would make but maybe I needed to spend more money in finding the best locations. (I used a locator to find them for me).
I don't think I'd do something like this again but I did think I learned from it so to me it wasn't a wasted venture.
I feel lighter and it's less unwanted baggage. I think once I finish my income tax for last year and finish up with my bookkeeping for the gumballs, that will be the final nail on the coffin.
I think for me the highlight of 2011 was getting rid of my gumball machine business in the fall. It wasn't that I got a job (that ended up terminating at the end of the year) or that I went to Mexico and got my Open Water SCUBA certificate and saw some Mayan Ruins or that I have been dating a man for the past 4 months. I've had this part time business since 2003 and hated the business right away but I stuck it out for years and for probably the past 5 years I've been wanting to sell them and get rid of them.
Getting rid of them and closing this business was the highlight because it was such a burden to be in charge of this business. It wasn't hard to do. It was just a burden mentally because I didn't get out of it what I thought I would and it was hard to get out of it. I couldn't just quit owning these machines because I had them in location and it took effort to find locations and just get started.
I think my dad likes to think I never should have done this but I feel that I learned something from this. I think it helped give me some sense that starting a business requires.
I definitely think I am one of these people that just likes to get things done. I don't want to spend too much time analyzing. I think I learned that the people selling me the machines, obviously want to paint their product in the best light. I didn't make as much money as they said the machines would make but maybe I needed to spend more money in finding the best locations. (I used a locator to find them for me).
I don't think I'd do something like this again but I did think I learned from it so to me it wasn't a wasted venture.
I feel lighter and it's less unwanted baggage. I think once I finish my income tax for last year and finish up with my bookkeeping for the gumballs, that will be the final nail on the coffin.
Down Sized
Greetings all,
Some of us - 3 to be exact - at work were notified back in December that we were being let go and unfortunately I was one of them. This is the 3rd time in 4 years I have been let go from a job because of being downsized. I wasn't happy at first and probably am still not but I've learned to not react and move on. My birthday is this Friday and so this will be my 3rd birthday in 4 years where I have no job. I just don't know anyone that has been laid off as much as me. I seem to have the worst job karma out there it seems!
I actually had booked a vacation to Mexico and they notified us the week before I was going so I didn't appreciate that. I really needed to go on a real vacation so I am glad I went and booked things.
I started updating my Resume so tomorrow I will job hunt. I had planned to go to school part time and I think I will stay with that. I might go full time in the fall.
I was planning to take economics and some math courses but I need to retake calculus so I will have to take some night classes for adults.
I hope 2012 things get better for me. Financially things have been bad for me these past 4 years but I make the best of things.
Some of us - 3 to be exact - at work were notified back in December that we were being let go and unfortunately I was one of them. This is the 3rd time in 4 years I have been let go from a job because of being downsized. I wasn't happy at first and probably am still not but I've learned to not react and move on. My birthday is this Friday and so this will be my 3rd birthday in 4 years where I have no job. I just don't know anyone that has been laid off as much as me. I seem to have the worst job karma out there it seems!
I actually had booked a vacation to Mexico and they notified us the week before I was going so I didn't appreciate that. I really needed to go on a real vacation so I am glad I went and booked things.
I started updating my Resume so tomorrow I will job hunt. I had planned to go to school part time and I think I will stay with that. I might go full time in the fall.
I was planning to take economics and some math courses but I need to retake calculus so I will have to take some night classes for adults.
I hope 2012 things get better for me. Financially things have been bad for me these past 4 years but I make the best of things.
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