Why I think Happiness is a Myth

Greetings all,

If you go to any bookstore, you will inevitably come across the Self Help section which inevitably will have numerous books on Happiness and how to get it. I think it's a myth and I think pursuing happiness in and of itself leads to unhappiness. So I have always felt it was pointless to try to be happy.

I have moments where I feel good. I have moments where I feel neutral and am just observing. I certainly don't feel happy all the time but I also don't feel unhappy all the time.

I strive more to be truthful. I strive more to live an honest life and not lie to myself about how I feel or what I think. I don't give a shit about being happy because for me, living truthfully makes me feel good and makes me feel relaxed and this in an indirect way, makes me happy.

I'm not happy with some of the externals in my life. I'm not married with children and desire to have these things. I desire to have more money and be an influential person. I've been chronically underemployed and not utilizing my 'potential'. I don't have a house or property or a car. Due to my financial issues and being out of work, I certainly don't feel powerful. I am dissatisfied, especially since I have been laid off 3 times in 4 years and many people seem better off then me.

I don't know what my future holds. Every day I wonder if I can make something out of myself and have a having family of my own and have the lifestyle I've hoped for. Sometimes I feel hopeful. Sometimes I feel dissatisfied and hopeless.

But I don't go around believing and pretending things are okay. I don't lie to myself. This whole Be Happy and Think Positive sometimes just feels so fake. I know for me, I do try to be optimistic and I think one can be positive but not live in some fantasy world where everything is peachy. I think healthy positivity would mean recognizing weaknesses and flaws and just accepting things as they are and then choosing the best course of action.

I watched Das Boot (a movie about the German U-boats of WWII) last week and one of the key moments was when the boat hit the bottom of the ocean because they were bombed and were well below the limit of how deep the boat could safely be. Things were falling apart in the boat and water was coming in. It was a tense scene and the crew didn't know if they were going to die in that boat. Did they sit around and talk about how they feel and how they feel scared and are worried? No they quickly got into action and trying to save their lives with intense vigor. They had to work hours and hours and endure much physical work to the point of exhaustion. They probably felt very unhappy to be in this situation and probably felt a range of emotions such as fear, anger and despair but they continued to work. They did survive and managed to get the boat running. I think what was important is that happiness isn't the be-all and end-all. When put into a crisis situation, happiness just doesn't matter. Happiness is something people think about when they have too much free time and need to get more active in their lives.

So instead of analyzing why you feel unhappy, which sometimes I do, it's better to just realize that happiness is a myth and that life is better lived when you are being truthful to yourself and taking appropriate action. I think having moments of unhappiness is perfectly normal and thinking that you are supposed to be happy when you are not, just makes the situation worse.