Greetings all,
I have been laid off 3 times in the past 4 years and I have had enough. Getting constantly laid off had taken its toll on my soul. Getting laid off once, sure I handled it. Twice was pushing it but three was the straw that broke the camel's back. Originally I planned to go back to school part time because I only went for 1 year university because I didn't know what to major in and didn't see the point of spending the money as I chose to pay my own way through school.
Since I've been laid off so many times, I tend to be out of work in the beginning of the year and with the way the economy has been, it would take months and months and hundreds of resumes sent with a handful of interviews secured before I ended up finding work.
I'd had enough and with my seasonal affective disorder (SAD), I could not tolerate staying in a dark and cold country and spend my time searching for a job that takes forever to arrive. I wanted to do something different and break the cycle.
So I decided to go back full time to school and start in May. I plan to study economics and math. Mainly because in my anthroposophical book group, I've been interested in economics and how to organize society in a manner that embraces the spirit and meets the material needs of the people. Steiner has written and lectured about World Economy and about the Three Fold Social Order. I think it makes sense and the brilliance of his concepts is that he doesn't say what to do but gets you to look at things from a different angle and thus your thinking capacity is stimulated and you learn how to attack problems from a more creative place, which I feel is sorely lacking in our society.
Since I didn't want to look for work I decided I'd kill time by traveling. I decided I'll look for a part time job when I return. I've known people who have done service work and so I thought I'd try it myself but do it in a different country. I learned about voluntourism which is where you pay an organization and they find you a placement. Part of the costs covers food and rent but some of it obviously goes in the pockets of the company. Nothing wrong with that. You provide a service, why not get paid for it? It didn't appeal to me because I'm sure I could find a place on my own to volunteer. And some of the companies had crazy prices, like $4000 for 2 weeks. The more reasonably priced ones were a quarter of that. Also this cost does not include the cost of the flight.
I had no specific country that I was drawn to visiting but I looked at one company's descriptions of the type of placements and the countries available and I decided on Cambodia and wanted to find an organization that was involved in human rights. I had to think about this because I initially wanted to spend all my time volunteering but then I thought that I like to travel and it's going to be hard for me to be in a country and just stay in one area. I decided that I'd spend less time volunteering so I could get some travel time in.
I ended up finding an organization that does work in human rights and community development. I met with them on Monday. They are located in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. I started to do work for them on Tuesday (yesterday). I was to do work like administration, microfinance and editing reports that were in english. They told me on Monday I could go out to a village as one of my tasks. I was shown something on microfinance but I don't know what they were planning for me. I also got some reports to edit and edited an annual report. It was informative and I got to learn more about what they do.
I didn't feel good volunteering. It felt like a job and I wasn't going to get paid. I've volunteered before and usually I enjoy what I do. I've volunteered for some art organizations where I act as an ambassador and answer people's questions. It was fun and I got the perk of being able to attend events and in some cases see free shows. People who do other volunteer work, do it because they feel they get something out of it. It makes them feel good. I just wasn't feeling good. Also there were no hostels near where I was working. Maybe I could have found a hotel, which tend to more expensive but it would cost me $4 each way on a tuk tuk to get there. (tuk tuk is the only public way to get around as there is no transit system I possibly could have rented a scooter but I don't have experience using one and the traffic here is crazy and they utilize minimal stop lights.
I've been in Phnom Penh for a week now and have pretty much seen all the main things to see. The city is quite busy and loud. It's also very hot and humid and I hate the humidity. There are many scooters on the roads and some cars. The city is quite loud and parts are rather dirty and smelly. I was starting to get sick of staying here. I live in a big city and really want to get away from the big city and would rather be in a more calm place. I am starting to get annoyed with Phnom Penh and feel I need to leave because the city is starting to drive me nuts. Tuk tuk drivers are constantly asking me if I need a ride. They are like the paparazzi! Give me some space damn it!
I was talking with one of my hostel mates last night about the city and how I'm not sure if I should stay to volunteer. I was quite unhappy but at the same time I don't like to quit things. I decided that I'm not going to continue volunteering. Maybe in the future I can give it more thought but right now doing the volunteering I did yesterday was not something I'd be happy doing. So I'm leaving tomorrow and heading south. There are other places in the country I want to see. I plan to stay in Cambodia for a couple of more weeks and want to see Vietnam and Laos and possibly a bit of Thailand. I have until mid April to travel. I bought a one way ticket so my return is flexible, although I am starting school in May and need to find a place to live for May as I moved out and put my stuff in storage.
I felt bad and stressed about continuing to volunteer because I wanted to see what the rest of this country looks like and didn't want to be stuck here in Phnom Penh. I think traveling is probably better for me. I guess my aspiration of being a humanitarian didn't work out but at least if I decide to do something, it should be something I'd enjoy doing for free and maybe volunteering in my own country would be better. Or maybe I just need to find something that I can enjoy doing for a short period of time, like a week. But also maybe I'm just not the type to work while traveling since I am curious and like to explore and at heart am probably more a traveler then a humanitarian.
Do-gooding will have to wait. Adventure awaits!
