Greetings all,
Okay I am actually tired of hearing the views of Atheists and how they view people who believe in god as all the same, that is, as religious freaks who are uneducated and have a disdain for rationality. I don't have a problem with people who are atheists, just these ones that have this negative view towards those that are religious.
First of all, I grew up in a Catholic school but I had my own beliefs and I now consider myself a spiritual seeker and am thus always willing to learn about spiritual and religious concepts. I am also a rational person and a supporter of Science. I don't practice religion and don't consider myself Catholic. I have some belief that there is some intelligence that runs this show. I don't like to call it god, I like to refer to it as the Universe but I guess some could consider that as god. I'm also a supporter of Anthroposophy, which is a spiritual philosophy that believes in spiritual beings such as angels, elemental beings (aka nature spirits).
Like any rational person, any new concept or idea that I encounter is something I am willing to consider and if it makes sense to me, I may adapt it into my world view. I like to think that I have a spiritual/religious basket and take the ideas that make sense to me and throw out whatever doesn't make sense or feel right to me. Not subscribing to any one philosophy or religion works for me.
But I am getting tired of how these atheists view the world and non-atheists.
I always saw atheists as the exact opposite of religous fanatics and find they defend their positive, usually with the same fervour as these religious fanatics. You know people, there is such a thing as The Middle Ground.
I can't seem to respect these type of atheists because they just seem to believe anyone who believes maybe there is more to this life than the material world as idiots. I believe there is something more, a spiritual world - a world that most humans cannot perceive. I don't believe in a god as well that punishes people. I don't even believe in that concept. I just believe whatever you put out comes back to you so if you go around hating people, that's what your life will be filled with.
I also don't even believe in this concept of hell. I believe we create our own suffering in life because usually suffering is a result in perception. For example, let's say 2 people lose their jobs. One person will perceive it as a blessing while the other as a curse, done to punish them. It's all in their perception of this experience that determines their outlook on life.
The bottom line for me is you are responsible for your own happiness regardless of whether there is a god or not. And just because I may believe in a god, doesn't mean god is responsible for my happiness. I believe in Free Will as well so god is probably going to give you the freedom to live your life as you want and thus allowing you to make all the mistakes you damn want and actually allowing you to suffer and experience pain.
I still have my doubts about the spiritual world but I think having doubts is normal and in fact I believe it is healthy to question things, even your own ideas. But I have had too many spiritual type experiences that as much as I would like to find a scientific explanation or something rational to make sense of them, I just think there is more to life then what appears to the naked eye.
Also I believe in religious freedom so I don't care if you believe in god or do not or do not care to even think of this topic but it's your right to believe in whatever you want. I don't have to agree with people's religious beliefs but as long as no one is getting hurt then believe away!
I can understand to some degree why these atheists attack religious people but the way I see it, they are doing the same thing to them as what has been done to them. Attacking people whose views are different from yours is not acceptable behaviour.
If you feel the need to attack people, for whatever reason, you need to take a look within and deal with whatever emotions you are experiencing.
I heard about that bus campaign where they state "there is no god so enjoy your life anyways" and I find it repulsive. My friend says that there are advertisements on the buses for other religions but I usually find that funny how some of these religious ads try to convert people. It's lame and frankly I wouldn't be persuaded. Much the same with the bus campaign. How do you know there isn't a god? I think it's actually quite ignorant to act like you know something isn't real when this topic of whether there is a god is something that has been debated over thousands of years and without a sufficient argument, these people just dismiss the existence of god???
Also, there are people out there who do believe in a god and actually enjoy life. I do enjoy life and I also happen to have a belief in a higher power. Not everyone who believes in a god or higher power believes this god is a pleasure denying one. My conception of god or a higher power is one that is loving, patient and most of all has a sense of humour.
Also what I find funny about the campaign is they act like this concept of not believing in god is new. Ummmm remember that quote by Nietzsche where he said "god is dead"? Atheism is not a new belief system, it's been around long enough and if you think you are being edgy by declaring your non-belief in god... well let me tell you, you are not edgy!
Whether you believe in god or not, it doesn't matter because we are all entitled to our own opinions and we can all respect each other in spite of different opinions about god.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Spiritual Liberation
Greetings and Salutations,
I have been practising the Gayatri for quite some time now as I have been practising mantras for about 4 years not. I had explored and practised with several different mantras but this past year and last year I have been primarily chanting the Gayatri as I have felt like I don't need to chant other mantras. My favourite is Kali though but I don't work with her energy too often because she is quite potent. I've been chanting the mantra silently at least 50% of the time for several months now and chanting silently is more potent that chanting outloud or whispering but it also is more of a challenge. In the beginning it felt like ploughing through mental sludge.
The Gayatri mantra is a meditation on spiritual light itself. You can learn more at this site as that is where I purchased my mantra CDs from.
I had an interesting dream back in December, actually on Christmas Eve. It is usually required to do a proper discipline of 40 days, although you can do shorter ones for 20 or 21 days but 40 days is the Classical approach. Typically something will occur around the 33rd or 35th day into the meditation.
I copied this from the site and it says:
"Then as you progress, you may find that things start to get in the way of your doing the discipline: You oversleep; there is some minor emergency; you get a cold, whatever. This means that you are beginning to effect the inner 'something' for which you undertook the mantra. You are beginning to encounter inner resistance. That inner resistance manifests as outer obstacles to your discipline. It has almost become a joke in many spiritual circles in which the practice of mantra is common, that something of a very surprising nature happened on day 33 or 35 of a 40 day sadhana."
I think it was significant that I had this dream on Day 33 since it was probably a result of the discipline I was doing. I didn't have any particular focus for the discipline. So back to my dream. I was with my friend and her mom (whom I have never met) and we were on some outdoor patio restaurant. There are some attractive men at my table and the table behind us and I attempted to flirt with these men but then they started turning evil on me and so I got nervous and sent them energy. I think I was sending protective energy so they wouldn't hurt us. I then hear a gentle feminine voice telling me 'not until June'.
I really struggled to make sense of what this dream meant for a few days. What the hell is not going to happen until June? I mean, I have never heard of having the ability to ward off evil. Well except when I read about the Narasimha mantra, which is a mantra to ward off evil in extremely difficult circumstances, but that seemed to be something someone had to consciously do and I wasn't chanting the Gayatri to ward myself from evil. I've heard of spiritual abilities like healing or manifesting and other strange things but is this what I have to wait for until June? I know that Gayatri is a protective mantra and wondered if this is what it is referring to? I also thought maybe it meant I won't find a boyfriend until June but that didn't make sense to me since I was trying to protect myself from them.
I continued to go about my business but trying to understand what this vivid dream meant was always in the back of my mind. I came to the conclusion that it at least must mean something good would happen, like a good shift in my life.
I awoke last night at around 5.30 am and got the feeling that 'not until June' meant for me that Maya or the spiritual veils so to speak, will be lifted for me. To what extent who knows. The link I gave above is a good one to get an overview of the concept in case you are not familiar with it. I have another book by Thomas Ashley Farrand and the Gayatri is used to help you stay in touch with your Dharma (your true purpose) but also it helps one to achieve Moksa, which is Spiritual Liberation.
Since I have had in the back of my mind that dream, I would have liked to have known sooner to what it meant specifically. Isn't the Universe a bitch sometimes? Like thanks for giving me a profound dream like that but to leave me hanging on what it meant for 3 months...
the Universe is a tease!
I know how the Universe can be sometimes and it doesn't seem to give you the answers to the questions when you want them, more in its own time, which sucks. It's cool though that the Universe finally gave me a schedule for when I can attain Spiritual Liberation. Doesn't that sound like a contradiction though, that Spiritual Liberation will occur at a given point in time, namely for June??!!
I went up to my Catholic mother and told her that I have something important to tell her and her eyes lit up but when I began telling her that I will be attaining Spiritual Liberation in June. She asked what it meant and as I explained, she gave me this weird look, like perhaps I was on drugs. This concept was completely foreign to her.
I told my old school dad as well and started to talk about how our perception of the world is an illusion because we believe we are separate from our Universe and create this duality in perception and that I'll be attaining Liberation from this false perception but he didn't really get it either.
I wonder if it was wise for the Universe to awaken me last night with this insight into my dream because now I have announced on my Facebook status that I am scheduled to attain spiritual liberation this June and now I'm blogging about it and perhaps I'll tell all my friends and rub it in their faces how now I'll be liberated and will no longer have to incarnate on planet earth unless I choose to help humanity and that I'll be free from this cycle of Death and Rebirth.
I have been practising the Gayatri for quite some time now as I have been practising mantras for about 4 years not. I had explored and practised with several different mantras but this past year and last year I have been primarily chanting the Gayatri as I have felt like I don't need to chant other mantras. My favourite is Kali though but I don't work with her energy too often because she is quite potent. I've been chanting the mantra silently at least 50% of the time for several months now and chanting silently is more potent that chanting outloud or whispering but it also is more of a challenge. In the beginning it felt like ploughing through mental sludge.
The Gayatri mantra is a meditation on spiritual light itself. You can learn more at this site as that is where I purchased my mantra CDs from.
I had an interesting dream back in December, actually on Christmas Eve. It is usually required to do a proper discipline of 40 days, although you can do shorter ones for 20 or 21 days but 40 days is the Classical approach. Typically something will occur around the 33rd or 35th day into the meditation.
I copied this from the site and it says:
"Then as you progress, you may find that things start to get in the way of your doing the discipline: You oversleep; there is some minor emergency; you get a cold, whatever. This means that you are beginning to effect the inner 'something' for which you undertook the mantra. You are beginning to encounter inner resistance. That inner resistance manifests as outer obstacles to your discipline. It has almost become a joke in many spiritual circles in which the practice of mantra is common, that something of a very surprising nature happened on day 33 or 35 of a 40 day sadhana."
I think it was significant that I had this dream on Day 33 since it was probably a result of the discipline I was doing. I didn't have any particular focus for the discipline. So back to my dream. I was with my friend and her mom (whom I have never met) and we were on some outdoor patio restaurant. There are some attractive men at my table and the table behind us and I attempted to flirt with these men but then they started turning evil on me and so I got nervous and sent them energy. I think I was sending protective energy so they wouldn't hurt us. I then hear a gentle feminine voice telling me 'not until June'.
I really struggled to make sense of what this dream meant for a few days. What the hell is not going to happen until June? I mean, I have never heard of having the ability to ward off evil. Well except when I read about the Narasimha mantra, which is a mantra to ward off evil in extremely difficult circumstances, but that seemed to be something someone had to consciously do and I wasn't chanting the Gayatri to ward myself from evil. I've heard of spiritual abilities like healing or manifesting and other strange things but is this what I have to wait for until June? I know that Gayatri is a protective mantra and wondered if this is what it is referring to? I also thought maybe it meant I won't find a boyfriend until June but that didn't make sense to me since I was trying to protect myself from them.
I continued to go about my business but trying to understand what this vivid dream meant was always in the back of my mind. I came to the conclusion that it at least must mean something good would happen, like a good shift in my life.
I awoke last night at around 5.30 am and got the feeling that 'not until June' meant for me that Maya or the spiritual veils so to speak, will be lifted for me. To what extent who knows. The link I gave above is a good one to get an overview of the concept in case you are not familiar with it. I have another book by Thomas Ashley Farrand and the Gayatri is used to help you stay in touch with your Dharma (your true purpose) but also it helps one to achieve Moksa, which is Spiritual Liberation.
Since I have had in the back of my mind that dream, I would have liked to have known sooner to what it meant specifically. Isn't the Universe a bitch sometimes? Like thanks for giving me a profound dream like that but to leave me hanging on what it meant for 3 months...
the Universe is a tease!
I know how the Universe can be sometimes and it doesn't seem to give you the answers to the questions when you want them, more in its own time, which sucks. It's cool though that the Universe finally gave me a schedule for when I can attain Spiritual Liberation. Doesn't that sound like a contradiction though, that Spiritual Liberation will occur at a given point in time, namely for June??!!
I went up to my Catholic mother and told her that I have something important to tell her and her eyes lit up but when I began telling her that I will be attaining Spiritual Liberation in June. She asked what it meant and as I explained, she gave me this weird look, like perhaps I was on drugs. This concept was completely foreign to her.
I told my old school dad as well and started to talk about how our perception of the world is an illusion because we believe we are separate from our Universe and create this duality in perception and that I'll be attaining Liberation from this false perception but he didn't really get it either.
I wonder if it was wise for the Universe to awaken me last night with this insight into my dream because now I have announced on my Facebook status that I am scheduled to attain spiritual liberation this June and now I'm blogging about it and perhaps I'll tell all my friends and rub it in their faces how now I'll be liberated and will no longer have to incarnate on planet earth unless I choose to help humanity and that I'll be free from this cycle of Death and Rebirth.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Candles
Greetings and Salutations,
I was at the Dollar Store today buying chocolate because that's really the best place to buy them. Anyways, I wandered through the store and saw candles and candle holders. This triggered in me my dislike of candles which made me realize, I need to blog about candles.
I guess since I am female and have a vagina, I therefore must be into candles but I never liked candles and you won't really find candles in my apartment.
First of all, I never understood the point of them. We have electricity and lamps, what purpose do candles serve?
The only time I bought candles was to do a 'magic spell' but that was in my early twenties and it's almost a prerequisite in your twenties or your teens to attempt some form of spell casting. Of course, you are only to do this for good as anything bad you do comes back to you 3 times. So that really is the only reason why I bought candles. And I needed 3 - black, green and white - for symbolic purposes and to burn the spell (basically my objective) that I wrote out earlier. I did that in my bedroom and actually wasn't as prepared as I should have been and it ended up smelling bad and causing a bit of a mess and my parents wondered what was going on.
I never told them of course and made up some lame excuse. My religious Catholic mother just wouldn't understand the concept of casting spells (which I don't do and only did the one time. It is not really my thing)
I actually decided to use a candle when I take a bath on occasion because I found it helped to set a relaxing mood but really that is the only time I would use them.
The only other useful time I would think to use them is during sex but really what is the point of that? Isn't the dark good enough for people? Open your curtain or blinds a touch to get the moonlight glow (or citylight glow depending where you live) if you want some moodlighting. Then you can see the soft glow of light on your lover's (or one night stand fling, depending on your attention span) skin.
Doing that is much easier instead of lighting a bunch of candles because then you don't worry about the smell after you blow them out and you don't have to worry about accidently causing a fire if your sex gets a bit wild. It has been proven that many house fires are due to candles and I am guessing it's because the sex got a bit too wild and people forgot about the candles they lit earlier.
I know for me when I use it in the bathtub, things are pretty calm.
Very unfortunate indeed.
I was at the Dollar Store today buying chocolate because that's really the best place to buy them. Anyways, I wandered through the store and saw candles and candle holders. This triggered in me my dislike of candles which made me realize, I need to blog about candles.
I guess since I am female and have a vagina, I therefore must be into candles but I never liked candles and you won't really find candles in my apartment.
First of all, I never understood the point of them. We have electricity and lamps, what purpose do candles serve?
The only time I bought candles was to do a 'magic spell' but that was in my early twenties and it's almost a prerequisite in your twenties or your teens to attempt some form of spell casting. Of course, you are only to do this for good as anything bad you do comes back to you 3 times. So that really is the only reason why I bought candles. And I needed 3 - black, green and white - for symbolic purposes and to burn the spell (basically my objective) that I wrote out earlier. I did that in my bedroom and actually wasn't as prepared as I should have been and it ended up smelling bad and causing a bit of a mess and my parents wondered what was going on.
I never told them of course and made up some lame excuse. My religious Catholic mother just wouldn't understand the concept of casting spells (which I don't do and only did the one time. It is not really my thing)
I actually decided to use a candle when I take a bath on occasion because I found it helped to set a relaxing mood but really that is the only time I would use them.
The only other useful time I would think to use them is during sex but really what is the point of that? Isn't the dark good enough for people? Open your curtain or blinds a touch to get the moonlight glow (or citylight glow depending where you live) if you want some moodlighting. Then you can see the soft glow of light on your lover's (or one night stand fling, depending on your attention span) skin.
Doing that is much easier instead of lighting a bunch of candles because then you don't worry about the smell after you blow them out and you don't have to worry about accidently causing a fire if your sex gets a bit wild. It has been proven that many house fires are due to candles and I am guessing it's because the sex got a bit too wild and people forgot about the candles they lit earlier.
I know for me when I use it in the bathtub, things are pretty calm.
Very unfortunate indeed.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
News Update
Greetings all,
Today's post is just about news. Nothing exciting to report in Paula World.
I got my letter from Mensa yesterday as I took the Mensa home prep test to see if I actually had a chance to be in Mensa, which is for people who have IQs in the top 2% of the world. Well my letter said I didn't pass and I emailed to see how close or how far I was from passing and it turns out I was really close and was only 1% from passing.
FUCKING BULLSHIT!
I am one angry nerd!
Anyways I will actually go and get an IQ test which means I'd have to get a psychologist who does these tests so that I can get an actual score. I can actually get into Mensa without taking their supervised test but my IQ has to be at a certain number so I figure I'd rather just get an IQ test and if have a high enough IQ, I will just submit my application.
The good thing though is that this means that I probably am a genius so as I was out having dinner with my parents this evening, I was telling them how I will be able to brag about my intelligence and if necessary rub it in people's faces, because really what is the point of being super smart and not being able to rub your intellectual superiority over people.
Use my intelligence for good?
P-shaw!
My mother said I need to be humble but if I am around someone that is a complete idiot and a jerk, I will throw out the genius card. Hey people out there use the race card, as a nerd, I have the genius card.
I don't have a problem with people who aren't as smart as me but I have a problem when people try to act smarter then what they are and try to make it seem they are know-it-alls and are unwilling to admit when they are wrong and unwilling to learn something knew.
* * *
I've been really bored lately and I think moving will be good for me. I need to get working and probably will need a day job for a while until I can start making money in comedy. I am not sure how things will work out but I am committed to my vision for my life.
I have way too much free time at this point. I don't like the idea of working full time either because then I end up with not enough free time.
I did some packing and I have been taking things slow mainly because I think I can get all packed by the 1st.
It'll be weird and now I won't be able to see my friends in Hamilton much either.
And I'll have to change my area code, thus I will feel more estranged from my family and friends in Hamilton.
* * *
I've been going to some spiritual type meetup groups and one of them, which I only went to 3 times and stopped going because I felt we weren't learning too much and it seemed more like a yak session, I recently found out the organizer is part of some magic spells circle and they are actually power hungry and stealing people's energy using hooks (I've heard of stealing energy but never heard of using hooks). These are psychic hooks folks, not literal hooks! I was told there's 3 of them in the group and one of them is not aware that the other 2 are stealing people's energy. They cast spells and I guess don't possess enough of their own juice to make it happen so they steal fresh energy from others.
I don't know if my fellow readers believe in these things but if you are a believer in this concept of energy, then you ought to know there are people out there who pose as spiritual type people who are really power hungry and seek to take what does not belong to them for their own selfish reasons.
I was surprised to learn this because it doesn't make sense to me. You can tap into the universal energy of the world, there is no need to take people's energies for whatever reason.
And what kind of spells are these people trying to cast? I mean really, this life is about learning to love and to grow and to be of service to people. We are really here to make the ego subservient to the higher self and not the other way around where we use spiritual forces to please the power hungry ego.
Another group I was in and have decided to stop going, the same type of stuff was going on although it occurred during a reading I had with the organizer and I don't know if she was doing that during the meetup groups.
I also don't know if she is conscious of what she was doing. I had a reading with her a month and a half ago and she claimed to send energy to me. She said she was 'helping' me with during the session (said I had a curse on me, which I didn't really believe) and I ended up feeling rather tired and napped that day. The following day I felt dazed and the next day I was angry and that lasted about a day and a half.
I didn't know what happened but I went to get another reading done by someone else as someone I knew recommended this person to me. I think I had this reading done about 3 weeks afterwards. I am not someone who is 'reading happy' because I believe you need to learn to trust your own inner guidance instead of always looking outward but I think every once and a while it doesn't hurt to go to one.
This person was telling me that I had a spiritual vampire in one of the groups I was in and instantly I thought of the woman whom I had the reading with. I began to tell her my story and she said she was dumping her negative energy onto me and taking mine.
I think she was right because I never had a good feeling about this person as soon as I met her but I like many people, have a tendency to rationalize my feelings and continued to go to this meetup group. I went though because I liked the other people in the group and felt they were really positive people.
I don't know if she is aware of what she is doing and I think perhaps there is a part of her that wants to do good in the world but she does have an ego and has lots to learn if she is claiming to be part of a spiritual path.
I know that if you are engaging in spiritual pursuits, there will be people, like in anything else, who cannot walk the walk but merely talk the talk. There are what I like to call Spiritual Posers and fortunately for me, I was smart enough to realize what was going on in this group, although I wish I was more aware of it sooner.
Today's post is just about news. Nothing exciting to report in Paula World.
I got my letter from Mensa yesterday as I took the Mensa home prep test to see if I actually had a chance to be in Mensa, which is for people who have IQs in the top 2% of the world. Well my letter said I didn't pass and I emailed to see how close or how far I was from passing and it turns out I was really close and was only 1% from passing.
FUCKING BULLSHIT!
I am one angry nerd!
Anyways I will actually go and get an IQ test which means I'd have to get a psychologist who does these tests so that I can get an actual score. I can actually get into Mensa without taking their supervised test but my IQ has to be at a certain number so I figure I'd rather just get an IQ test and if have a high enough IQ, I will just submit my application.
The good thing though is that this means that I probably am a genius so as I was out having dinner with my parents this evening, I was telling them how I will be able to brag about my intelligence and if necessary rub it in people's faces, because really what is the point of being super smart and not being able to rub your intellectual superiority over people.
Use my intelligence for good?
P-shaw!
My mother said I need to be humble but if I am around someone that is a complete idiot and a jerk, I will throw out the genius card. Hey people out there use the race card, as a nerd, I have the genius card.
I don't have a problem with people who aren't as smart as me but I have a problem when people try to act smarter then what they are and try to make it seem they are know-it-alls and are unwilling to admit when they are wrong and unwilling to learn something knew.
I've been really bored lately and I think moving will be good for me. I need to get working and probably will need a day job for a while until I can start making money in comedy. I am not sure how things will work out but I am committed to my vision for my life.
I have way too much free time at this point. I don't like the idea of working full time either because then I end up with not enough free time.
I did some packing and I have been taking things slow mainly because I think I can get all packed by the 1st.
It'll be weird and now I won't be able to see my friends in Hamilton much either.
And I'll have to change my area code, thus I will feel more estranged from my family and friends in Hamilton.
I've been going to some spiritual type meetup groups and one of them, which I only went to 3 times and stopped going because I felt we weren't learning too much and it seemed more like a yak session, I recently found out the organizer is part of some magic spells circle and they are actually power hungry and stealing people's energy using hooks (I've heard of stealing energy but never heard of using hooks). These are psychic hooks folks, not literal hooks! I was told there's 3 of them in the group and one of them is not aware that the other 2 are stealing people's energy. They cast spells and I guess don't possess enough of their own juice to make it happen so they steal fresh energy from others.
I don't know if my fellow readers believe in these things but if you are a believer in this concept of energy, then you ought to know there are people out there who pose as spiritual type people who are really power hungry and seek to take what does not belong to them for their own selfish reasons.
I was surprised to learn this because it doesn't make sense to me. You can tap into the universal energy of the world, there is no need to take people's energies for whatever reason.
And what kind of spells are these people trying to cast? I mean really, this life is about learning to love and to grow and to be of service to people. We are really here to make the ego subservient to the higher self and not the other way around where we use spiritual forces to please the power hungry ego.
Another group I was in and have decided to stop going, the same type of stuff was going on although it occurred during a reading I had with the organizer and I don't know if she was doing that during the meetup groups.
I also don't know if she is conscious of what she was doing. I had a reading with her a month and a half ago and she claimed to send energy to me. She said she was 'helping' me with during the session (said I had a curse on me, which I didn't really believe) and I ended up feeling rather tired and napped that day. The following day I felt dazed and the next day I was angry and that lasted about a day and a half.
I didn't know what happened but I went to get another reading done by someone else as someone I knew recommended this person to me. I think I had this reading done about 3 weeks afterwards. I am not someone who is 'reading happy' because I believe you need to learn to trust your own inner guidance instead of always looking outward but I think every once and a while it doesn't hurt to go to one.
This person was telling me that I had a spiritual vampire in one of the groups I was in and instantly I thought of the woman whom I had the reading with. I began to tell her my story and she said she was dumping her negative energy onto me and taking mine.
I think she was right because I never had a good feeling about this person as soon as I met her but I like many people, have a tendency to rationalize my feelings and continued to go to this meetup group. I went though because I liked the other people in the group and felt they were really positive people.
I don't know if she is aware of what she is doing and I think perhaps there is a part of her that wants to do good in the world but she does have an ego and has lots to learn if she is claiming to be part of a spiritual path.
I know that if you are engaging in spiritual pursuits, there will be people, like in anything else, who cannot walk the walk but merely talk the talk. There are what I like to call Spiritual Posers and fortunately for me, I was smart enough to realize what was going on in this group, although I wish I was more aware of it sooner.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Stupidest Interview Question Ever!
Greetings all,
I went out on Friday to a meetup and one of the people I met, whom I met before, works in a non profit employment counseling centre. Since I will have to find a day job soon, one of the questions I always hated to have someone ask is "what is your weakness?".
I would always rack my brain over this one because I really thought it was a stupid question. Like it was obviously a trick question and I would wonder what do they really want to know? I mean, if you answer 'wrong' you may not get the job. I know for my last job I believe I was asked this and said that I had a tendency to be late but I was working towards not doing that and have been successful but I have to make the conscious effort to be on time. So my weakness was that I had to make a conscious effort to be on time.
One of the things this woman does for her job is help people do well in interviews so I asked her what are employers looking for. She said to pick something that is not related to the work, like say if you have the tendency to be late. A good answer would be saying that you are shy since it might take you a bit longer to open up to coworkers.
I told her that I would prefer to answer the question as follows:
I don't believe in the concept of weakness as I accept myself the way I am. I believe that I have things to learn and to improve upon but I do not see them as weaknesses. Therefore I cannot answer this question because the concept of weakness doesn't exist in my mind.
I probably would have added as well that this question can be improved by asking the interviewee "What do you think you need to improve within yourself?", as I can honestly answer that question. I cannot honestly answer the question "What weakness do you have?" because as I mention earlier, the way I perceive myself, I do not perceive myself as possessing a weakness. I guess because of my spiritual practises and because I make an effort to stay in touch with my 'higher self', I identify with that rather then the 'lower self', which can improve. My 'higher self' is perfect as it is and since I can get in touch with my 'higher self' or my heart, the whole question makes no sense to me.
The woman said my answer was honest but it wouldn't work.
Isn't that fucked up though? Here employers bitch about wanting employees who can 'think outside the box' and when one actually does, they potentially may not land a job because they aren't giving the 'proper' answers??!!
Fuck off!
Just because I am honest and am not willing to just answer mindlessly a question, doesn't mean I cannot do an effective job and it doesn't mean that I won't fit in with a company. I am not a threat at all and actually enjoy getting along with people but I cannot lie and I cannot not think independently.
I went out on Friday to a meetup and one of the people I met, whom I met before, works in a non profit employment counseling centre. Since I will have to find a day job soon, one of the questions I always hated to have someone ask is "what is your weakness?".
I would always rack my brain over this one because I really thought it was a stupid question. Like it was obviously a trick question and I would wonder what do they really want to know? I mean, if you answer 'wrong' you may not get the job. I know for my last job I believe I was asked this and said that I had a tendency to be late but I was working towards not doing that and have been successful but I have to make the conscious effort to be on time. So my weakness was that I had to make a conscious effort to be on time.
One of the things this woman does for her job is help people do well in interviews so I asked her what are employers looking for. She said to pick something that is not related to the work, like say if you have the tendency to be late. A good answer would be saying that you are shy since it might take you a bit longer to open up to coworkers.
I told her that I would prefer to answer the question as follows:
I don't believe in the concept of weakness as I accept myself the way I am. I believe that I have things to learn and to improve upon but I do not see them as weaknesses. Therefore I cannot answer this question because the concept of weakness doesn't exist in my mind.
I probably would have added as well that this question can be improved by asking the interviewee "What do you think you need to improve within yourself?", as I can honestly answer that question. I cannot honestly answer the question "What weakness do you have?" because as I mention earlier, the way I perceive myself, I do not perceive myself as possessing a weakness. I guess because of my spiritual practises and because I make an effort to stay in touch with my 'higher self', I identify with that rather then the 'lower self', which can improve. My 'higher self' is perfect as it is and since I can get in touch with my 'higher self' or my heart, the whole question makes no sense to me.
The woman said my answer was honest but it wouldn't work.
Isn't that fucked up though? Here employers bitch about wanting employees who can 'think outside the box' and when one actually does, they potentially may not land a job because they aren't giving the 'proper' answers??!!
Fuck off!
Just because I am honest and am not willing to just answer mindlessly a question, doesn't mean I cannot do an effective job and it doesn't mean that I won't fit in with a company. I am not a threat at all and actually enjoy getting along with people but I cannot lie and I cannot not think independently.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
New Place
Greetings all,
I finally found myself a new apartment in Toronto. I was getting frustrated because I have been looking for several weeks and wanted to find a place back in February. I kept seeing this image of a house, actually a house an ex of mine lived in so I thought that maybe I should look for a floor in a house to rent but the few that I saw I liked, but didn't like the location.
I'll be moving to the West end of Toronto, in the Parkdale area. I am a 15 minute walk to the lake which I am happy about. I currently am a 15 minute walk from the lake and do go for a walk there every once and a while.
I had one place that I was interested but since I was unemployed, they said I needed a letter from my bank saying that my account was in good standing. I have President's Choice banking and so I spoke to them over the phone (since they have no actual store fronts) and I told them the situation and they said they would try and get it expedited. Well my letter was ready by Thursday and I found out that the place was taken. I figure it probably would have.
The only thing I don't like about my new place is the view. My current view is kick ass, largely due to the fact that I am on the 16th floor and so when I eat, I find it relaxing to look out the window.
My new place is a low rise and I am on the first floor. There is a building next door so really my view is not interesting and also there is no balcony, so I'd have to chill at the front if I wanted to sit outside.
I had found an area that I liked and it was getting frustrating because some of the buildings were either out of my budget, no vacancy and some I found negative reviews about them online.
I saw one place that was in a house and it was a nice space but some old Portuguese woman owned it and lived in it as well and although I thought she was okay, I think it would be weird to live in that situation. She had this tendency to break into Portuguese I think because sometimes I couldn't understand her and I was pretty sure there were times she wasn't speaking English. Plus I'd have to park my car on the street which I wasn't too keen on. Also since I really wanted to live by the lake, I didn't like the location and I really wanted to feel like I am living in Toronto.
I am a little nervous because although I really want to leave, going somewhere new is a little scary since I don't know what to expect and I'm going to be stuck there for a year. I know when I left my parents, I really wanted to leave but also felt like I would miss the safety and of comfort of where I currently was.
I have lots things to get going this year and hopefully things will flow better in my life. I don't think struggling with things is the way to go.
I finally found myself a new apartment in Toronto. I was getting frustrated because I have been looking for several weeks and wanted to find a place back in February. I kept seeing this image of a house, actually a house an ex of mine lived in so I thought that maybe I should look for a floor in a house to rent but the few that I saw I liked, but didn't like the location.
I'll be moving to the West end of Toronto, in the Parkdale area. I am a 15 minute walk to the lake which I am happy about. I currently am a 15 minute walk from the lake and do go for a walk there every once and a while.
I had one place that I was interested but since I was unemployed, they said I needed a letter from my bank saying that my account was in good standing. I have President's Choice banking and so I spoke to them over the phone (since they have no actual store fronts) and I told them the situation and they said they would try and get it expedited. Well my letter was ready by Thursday and I found out that the place was taken. I figure it probably would have.
The only thing I don't like about my new place is the view. My current view is kick ass, largely due to the fact that I am on the 16th floor and so when I eat, I find it relaxing to look out the window.
My new place is a low rise and I am on the first floor. There is a building next door so really my view is not interesting and also there is no balcony, so I'd have to chill at the front if I wanted to sit outside.
I had found an area that I liked and it was getting frustrating because some of the buildings were either out of my budget, no vacancy and some I found negative reviews about them online.
I saw one place that was in a house and it was a nice space but some old Portuguese woman owned it and lived in it as well and although I thought she was okay, I think it would be weird to live in that situation. She had this tendency to break into Portuguese I think because sometimes I couldn't understand her and I was pretty sure there were times she wasn't speaking English. Plus I'd have to park my car on the street which I wasn't too keen on. Also since I really wanted to live by the lake, I didn't like the location and I really wanted to feel like I am living in Toronto.
I am a little nervous because although I really want to leave, going somewhere new is a little scary since I don't know what to expect and I'm going to be stuck there for a year. I know when I left my parents, I really wanted to leave but also felt like I would miss the safety and of comfort of where I currently was.
I have lots things to get going this year and hopefully things will flow better in my life. I don't think struggling with things is the way to go.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Taking A Break
Greetings all,
I have decided to take myself off the dating site I have been on. I am tired of dating and the effort it takes.
I don't believe in that whole expression where you'll find someone once you stop looking because it's so not true! There have been plenty of times in my life where I wasn't looking for someone and the reality was... I never found someone.
Anyways, I've had enough of dating people so I'm calling it quits and taking a break.
I will now need to buy cats.
Lots of them.
I have decided to take myself off the dating site I have been on. I am tired of dating and the effort it takes.
I don't believe in that whole expression where you'll find someone once you stop looking because it's so not true! There have been plenty of times in my life where I wasn't looking for someone and the reality was... I never found someone.
Anyways, I've had enough of dating people so I'm calling it quits and taking a break.
I will now need to buy cats.
Lots of them.
The Nice Girl
Greetings all,
Yesterday I was not in a good mood. I came to realize something unsettling Friday night during my daily meditation, which I chose not to discuss in a public setting.
Anyways, I started to feel sorry for myself and actually began to feel like, why do nice girls always finish last?
I was on a dating site and checked out their forums, which I found to be depressing and one of the topics I saw a while ago and is a common complaint of many men is they wonder why do nice men finish last?
I always thought this was just how weak people express themselves. I never liked the term nice because really what does it mean? I think for the most part I am considerate towards people and I guess a nice person is someone who isn't majorly selfish and likes to get along with people.
These people that would complain about why nice guys finish last seemed to me to be people who couldn't admit they made a mistake or had some weakness or were blind to something or someone's flaws. This to me all seems like letting yourself be taken advantage of and not setting proper boundaries. Does this mean you have finished last because you are nice? No it just means to me you haven't learned your lesson. Saying that also seemed like a form of pitying, which in reality is not productive.
Never in my life have I thought or felt like why do nice girls finish last. I have thought about why do bad things happen to good people but obviously bad things happen to both mean and good people.
I couldn't believe that I actually felt that way about myself yesterday and it embarrasses me. I know I probably engage in self pity to some degree but saying the phrase 'why do nice girls finish last?' is probably the lowest form of self pity in my eyes.
I do feel I am tired of life at times and life sucks at times and when life sucks it's hard to see what is the point of it all and it seems like good times are elusive.
I get tired of getting knocked down only to get back up again and then get knocked back down. For the most part I try to learn why I get knocked down in the first place so that it doesn't happen again but it seems like in certain parts of my life I just keep getting knocked down and I am getting frustrated I am not learning what I need to learn to move forward.
But what does it even mean to finish last? The whole statement makes no sense. Most people end up in retirement homes and not enjoying life in their last few days of life. It seems only a few die suddenly and in good health, at an old age.
I think that whole expression is just a cop out so that people don't take responsibility for their lives and I am sad to say I had felt that yesterday. Life can be ugly, messy and dirty but it also can be beautiful and fun.
We all have weaknesses and lessons to learn so I and everyone else is better off on dealing with stuff instead of engaging in self pity and being unwilling to learn from life and from our mistakes.
Yesterday I was not in a good mood. I came to realize something unsettling Friday night during my daily meditation, which I chose not to discuss in a public setting.
Anyways, I started to feel sorry for myself and actually began to feel like, why do nice girls always finish last?
I was on a dating site and checked out their forums, which I found to be depressing and one of the topics I saw a while ago and is a common complaint of many men is they wonder why do nice men finish last?
I always thought this was just how weak people express themselves. I never liked the term nice because really what does it mean? I think for the most part I am considerate towards people and I guess a nice person is someone who isn't majorly selfish and likes to get along with people.
These people that would complain about why nice guys finish last seemed to me to be people who couldn't admit they made a mistake or had some weakness or were blind to something or someone's flaws. This to me all seems like letting yourself be taken advantage of and not setting proper boundaries. Does this mean you have finished last because you are nice? No it just means to me you haven't learned your lesson. Saying that also seemed like a form of pitying, which in reality is not productive.
Never in my life have I thought or felt like why do nice girls finish last. I have thought about why do bad things happen to good people but obviously bad things happen to both mean and good people.
I couldn't believe that I actually felt that way about myself yesterday and it embarrasses me. I know I probably engage in self pity to some degree but saying the phrase 'why do nice girls finish last?' is probably the lowest form of self pity in my eyes.
I do feel I am tired of life at times and life sucks at times and when life sucks it's hard to see what is the point of it all and it seems like good times are elusive.
I get tired of getting knocked down only to get back up again and then get knocked back down. For the most part I try to learn why I get knocked down in the first place so that it doesn't happen again but it seems like in certain parts of my life I just keep getting knocked down and I am getting frustrated I am not learning what I need to learn to move forward.
But what does it even mean to finish last? The whole statement makes no sense. Most people end up in retirement homes and not enjoying life in their last few days of life. It seems only a few die suddenly and in good health, at an old age.
I think that whole expression is just a cop out so that people don't take responsibility for their lives and I am sad to say I had felt that yesterday. Life can be ugly, messy and dirty but it also can be beautiful and fun.
We all have weaknesses and lessons to learn so I and everyone else is better off on dealing with stuff instead of engaging in self pity and being unwilling to learn from life and from our mistakes.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Heart Work Sucks!
Greetings all,
I've been processing alot of stuff emotionally lately (as you can see by the frequent posts...thank goodness for blogs!). I was at a meetup last night for a night of Settlers of Catan and was talking with one of the people whom I was playing with about online dating. I said some guys ask me how my experience has been on the site (I'm using one in particular, which I won't mention here). I was saying to her I don't understand why guys ask me this question. I end up getting a bit defensive and paranoid. But the woman I was talking to says she asks that as well and usually asks out of innocence.
I was thinking how can being asked this make me defensive and paranoid? It really didn't make sense to me but it does make me feel this way.
I can see asking out of curiosity and it just makes me realize that I have some issues to work through because it really doesn't make sense why I would get defensive. I've been doing lots of meditation focusing on all of my chakras but am focusing specifically on opening my heart and I find that it is opening me up emotionally to things I have suppressed and not dealt with. I don't know why I have suppressed so much but I chalk it up to past lives because I don't think I have experience much trauma in this lifetime.
I'm unemployed and I have been using this time to process my suppressed emotions and really getting into myself. People wonder what I do all day and well basically I tell them things like I write comedy or have my anthroposophy you tube project that I am working on or I say I'm taking time for myself at least so that I can justify how I spend my time.
I guess deep down I wonder if anyone actually understands the value of processing your emotions.
I'm opening my heart center, okay that's what I've been doing these past few months.
Leave me the Fuck alone!
I know my Employment Insurance is running out and I have to get back into the real world - which is something I want to do anyways. Believe me I know how the world works. I know you need money and to work to pay the bills.
I've got shit to process. Emotional shit. And it's not easy.
I really don't want to have to do this but I feel like doing this inner work is the only way I am going to honestly move forward in my life and be truly happy.
So I know that I probably get defensive when these guys ask me this question because I don't want to get hurt. But if I try and examine why I am afraid of getting hurt, there is no legitimate reason. How can they hurt me by asking me this question? Most guys probably are asking me innocently.
I guess I'm just like everyone else who is afraid of getting hurt but doing this heart work is making me realize that as long as I take care of myself and love myself, no one can really hurt me.
I've been processing alot of stuff emotionally lately (as you can see by the frequent posts...thank goodness for blogs!). I was at a meetup last night for a night of Settlers of Catan and was talking with one of the people whom I was playing with about online dating. I said some guys ask me how my experience has been on the site (I'm using one in particular, which I won't mention here). I was saying to her I don't understand why guys ask me this question. I end up getting a bit defensive and paranoid. But the woman I was talking to says she asks that as well and usually asks out of innocence.
I was thinking how can being asked this make me defensive and paranoid? It really didn't make sense to me but it does make me feel this way.
I can see asking out of curiosity and it just makes me realize that I have some issues to work through because it really doesn't make sense why I would get defensive. I've been doing lots of meditation focusing on all of my chakras but am focusing specifically on opening my heart and I find that it is opening me up emotionally to things I have suppressed and not dealt with. I don't know why I have suppressed so much but I chalk it up to past lives because I don't think I have experience much trauma in this lifetime.
I'm unemployed and I have been using this time to process my suppressed emotions and really getting into myself. People wonder what I do all day and well basically I tell them things like I write comedy or have my anthroposophy you tube project that I am working on or I say I'm taking time for myself at least so that I can justify how I spend my time.
I guess deep down I wonder if anyone actually understands the value of processing your emotions.
I'm opening my heart center, okay that's what I've been doing these past few months.
Leave me the Fuck alone!
I know my Employment Insurance is running out and I have to get back into the real world - which is something I want to do anyways. Believe me I know how the world works. I know you need money and to work to pay the bills.
I've got shit to process. Emotional shit. And it's not easy.
I really don't want to have to do this but I feel like doing this inner work is the only way I am going to honestly move forward in my life and be truly happy.
So I know that I probably get defensive when these guys ask me this question because I don't want to get hurt. But if I try and examine why I am afraid of getting hurt, there is no legitimate reason. How can they hurt me by asking me this question? Most guys probably are asking me innocently.
I guess I'm just like everyone else who is afraid of getting hurt but doing this heart work is making me realize that as long as I take care of myself and love myself, no one can really hurt me.
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