The Nice Girl

Greetings all,

Yesterday I was not in a good mood. I came to realize something unsettling Friday night during my daily meditation, which I chose not to discuss in a public setting.

Anyways, I started to feel sorry for myself and actually began to feel like, why do nice girls always finish last?

I was on a dating site and checked out their forums, which I found to be depressing and one of the topics I saw a while ago and is a common complaint of many men is they wonder why do nice men finish last?

I always thought this was just how weak people express themselves. I never liked the term nice because really what does it mean? I think for the most part I am considerate towards people and I guess a nice person is someone who isn't majorly selfish and likes to get along with people.

These people that would complain about why nice guys finish last seemed to me to be people who couldn't admit they made a mistake or had some weakness or were blind to something or someone's flaws. This to me all seems like letting yourself be taken advantage of and not setting proper boundaries. Does this mean you have finished last because you are nice? No it just means to me you haven't learned your lesson. Saying that also seemed like a form of pitying, which in reality is not productive.

Never in my life have I thought or felt like why do nice girls finish last. I have thought about why do bad things happen to good people but obviously bad things happen to both mean and good people.

I couldn't believe that I actually felt that way about myself yesterday and it embarrasses me. I know I probably engage in self pity to some degree but saying the phrase 'why do nice girls finish last?' is probably the lowest form of self pity in my eyes.

I do feel I am tired of life at times and life sucks at times and when life sucks it's hard to see what is the point of it all and it seems like good times are elusive.

I get tired of getting knocked down only to get back up again and then get knocked back down. For the most part I try to learn why I get knocked down in the first place so that it doesn't happen again but it seems like in certain parts of my life I just keep getting knocked down and I am getting frustrated I am not learning what I need to learn to move forward.

But what does it even mean to finish last? The whole statement makes no sense. Most people end up in retirement homes and not enjoying life in their last few days of life. It seems only a few die suddenly and in good health, at an old age.

I think that whole expression is just a cop out so that people don't take responsibility for their lives and I am sad to say I had felt that yesterday. Life can be ugly, messy and dirty but it also can be beautiful and fun.

We all have weaknesses and lessons to learn so I and everyone else is better off on dealing with stuff instead of engaging in self pity and being unwilling to learn from life and from our mistakes.