I'm actually going to promoting this cd that I bought. I'm doing this out of my own volition because I like it so much and found it quite useful. It's a hypnosis session but I think the word hypnosis has a bad reputation in people's minds so I like to call them guided meditations.
Anyways, this one is called Karma of Kindness. I've used it a few months ago fairly regularly, say 2-3 times a week and it's really a powerful meditation. It's useful if you feel hostile feelings towards people who have been mean to you. I also use it for people who I find difficult. It's good because it trains your mind to be more objective with them and to realize that maybe they've had difficulties in their life.
One time when I used it, I was balling my eyes out because it was so emotionally profound. I haven't used it much lately but I did yesterday. It's effective to use if you have negative feelings towards people. I used it to visualize people who possessed qualities, particularly negative ones, that I had negative feelings towards. It's useful because I don't feel as annoyed by people's shortcomings.
I personally believe that whatever negative qualities or things people do to you, that shouldn't make you angry or annoyed. You may not agree with the behaviour, but it doesn't make sense to get angry.
I like using it and it actually helps to change your behaviour and mentality fairly quickly.
I think it's easier to change yourself and your thoughts towards people rather then changing them. I also think by changing yourself, people will act differently.
I bought other products from this site but it's this one that I found most profound and valuable and is my favourite.
The link is www.wendi.com
Go to Let's Shop and search for Karma of Kindness
So if you are filled with lots of rage and hostility towards people or have a small amount of hostility and annoyance, consider using this program.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
owwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I have had this bad sinus headache since yesterday afternoon. My head has been hurting all day today as well. I've never had a sinus headache before. I don't get headaches often either.
I bought myself a homeopathic remedy for sinus and allergy symptoms today at the RS Centre. I've been experiencing seasonal alleries since April 2003. I've tried a couple of different antihistamines but didn't like them so I'll give this homepathic remedy a try. It's in this pellet form that you put under your tongue. It's like eating candy really.
It was also our last Foundation Study class for the year. We had a pot luck after we had our 2 final presentations. I really enjoyed the presentations which were on Nutrition and Art as a Spiritual Activity. We did clay work for the second presentation. Working with clay is always fun!
I also have 2 job interviews on Monday and Tuesday.
I bought myself a homeopathic remedy for sinus and allergy symptoms today at the RS Centre. I've been experiencing seasonal alleries since April 2003. I've tried a couple of different antihistamines but didn't like them so I'll give this homepathic remedy a try. It's in this pellet form that you put under your tongue. It's like eating candy really.
It was also our last Foundation Study class for the year. We had a pot luck after we had our 2 final presentations. I really enjoyed the presentations which were on Nutrition and Art as a Spiritual Activity. We did clay work for the second presentation. Working with clay is always fun!
I also have 2 job interviews on Monday and Tuesday.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Stop Bullying Program
I was watching this program on bullying and how there is this organization that is providing schools with a 1 or 3 day workshop intensive (it might just be one day) on bullying and it teaches them why people bully and it teaches them to be emotionally honest. They showed them apologizing by the end of it to those who they have been mean to.
I got really emotional when watching it.
The web site is www.bethechange.org but it is currently under construction. The show showed the school 3 months afterwards and the school has maintained the change. I think the school has a regular type of weekly or monthly meeting because the program teaches them that it's every day they have to work at being honest emotionally with themselves.
I'm not doing the show I saw justice but it really was a profound program. Instead of complaining about how youth is going nowhere, an organization is created to help teach them vital emotional skills that take most people a lifetime to learn and some not at all.
The program teaches empathy skills, being honest with yourself, realizing that you are not alone and that those who bully probably have been bullied themselves or bully for their own protection. And to make an effort to get to know someone instead of making assumptions and judgements about them.
I thought back to my school days and recall teasing a girl in elementary school but then I started feeling bad. I wasn't making fun of her to her face, just behind her back. I'm glad I eventually realized that it's not nice to insult people. There was another girl too in elementary school who got picked on in grade 6. There were 2 main groups among the girls. The cool groups spearheaded by one main girl and then the rest of them. I was a free radical along with my best friend who weren't really part of those 2 groups but did socialize more with the 'non-cool' girls. This one girl was hated by the cool girls and she went to the 'nerds' and then the cool girls liked her so she went back to them and this kept going on and then she hung out with me and my friend and then back to the cool girls.
I was picked on in grade 9 pretty bad. I've had a couple of guys tease me. I had glasses so I guess they assumed I was nerdy. I made this one goof up with my friends because they were trying to hook me up with some guy who my friend at the time was dating one of his friends in the group. They encouraged me to call him but I ended up hanging up on him because I was scared. The next day in school these 2 girls who were friends with the guy were harassing me about what I did. I was shocked and scared and the one girl made me uncomfortable for years. She was a year older then me too.
I don't feel hatrad to towards them because I think people that hurt people have their own issues. It doesn't make it okay. I think people who can't deal with their emotions and frustrations, disappoints, fear etc lash out at people. Everyone has pain but some people just haven't learned how to cope with the struggles of life in a positive manner.
And some people don't realize that their words and actions affects the feelings of those around them.
We all need courage in our daily lives.
We don't need courage just once or maybe just 3 times a month.
We need it on a daily basis, for every moment of our lives.
If anyone is reading this, especially a young person, keep up and be loving to yourself and others even if they are mean and you feel they should suffer.
Be honest with yourself and have confidence in yourself. Don't follow the crowd. Have a mind of your own when socializing with people.
I got really emotional when watching it.
The web site is www.bethechange.org but it is currently under construction. The show showed the school 3 months afterwards and the school has maintained the change. I think the school has a regular type of weekly or monthly meeting because the program teaches them that it's every day they have to work at being honest emotionally with themselves.
I'm not doing the show I saw justice but it really was a profound program. Instead of complaining about how youth is going nowhere, an organization is created to help teach them vital emotional skills that take most people a lifetime to learn and some not at all.
The program teaches empathy skills, being honest with yourself, realizing that you are not alone and that those who bully probably have been bullied themselves or bully for their own protection. And to make an effort to get to know someone instead of making assumptions and judgements about them.
I thought back to my school days and recall teasing a girl in elementary school but then I started feeling bad. I wasn't making fun of her to her face, just behind her back. I'm glad I eventually realized that it's not nice to insult people. There was another girl too in elementary school who got picked on in grade 6. There were 2 main groups among the girls. The cool groups spearheaded by one main girl and then the rest of them. I was a free radical along with my best friend who weren't really part of those 2 groups but did socialize more with the 'non-cool' girls. This one girl was hated by the cool girls and she went to the 'nerds' and then the cool girls liked her so she went back to them and this kept going on and then she hung out with me and my friend and then back to the cool girls.
I was picked on in grade 9 pretty bad. I've had a couple of guys tease me. I had glasses so I guess they assumed I was nerdy. I made this one goof up with my friends because they were trying to hook me up with some guy who my friend at the time was dating one of his friends in the group. They encouraged me to call him but I ended up hanging up on him because I was scared. The next day in school these 2 girls who were friends with the guy were harassing me about what I did. I was shocked and scared and the one girl made me uncomfortable for years. She was a year older then me too.
I don't feel hatrad to towards them because I think people that hurt people have their own issues. It doesn't make it okay. I think people who can't deal with their emotions and frustrations, disappoints, fear etc lash out at people. Everyone has pain but some people just haven't learned how to cope with the struggles of life in a positive manner.
And some people don't realize that their words and actions affects the feelings of those around them.
We all need courage in our daily lives.
We don't need courage just once or maybe just 3 times a month.
We need it on a daily basis, for every moment of our lives.
If anyone is reading this, especially a young person, keep up and be loving to yourself and others even if they are mean and you feel they should suffer.
Be honest with yourself and have confidence in yourself. Don't follow the crowd. Have a mind of your own when socializing with people.
E minor lick
I took out from the library this cool rock and blues guitar book that comes with a cd and I learned this neat E minor scale lick. It sounds like something from Beethoven. I like minor scales and chords a lot as I like darker sounds (majors sound more upbeat).
I want to be a rock star. I haven't figured out how I can be a rock star and an improvisor/comic at the same time. I've been playing guitar since July last year. I would like to get better more faster but it does seem like a slow process.
My favourite chord is DflatM7. I also like B7.
I've been thinking about the concept of money and how it is generated and how it can be authentically generated. I'm talking about this concept in a global sense. Is wealth limited? Does creating wealth cause problems for poorer nations? I think I'll look around for some books on this. If anyone has any references please comment on this post.
I planted some flowers today.
I've been thinking about what do I want to say in this public blog. How personal do I want to get?
I correct my thinking on a daily basis so what I wrote a week ago, I might not think the same or may feel my comment is no longer relevant. Or maybe realize that what I truly wanted to express was not clearly expressed the way I intended.
I want to be a rock star. I haven't figured out how I can be a rock star and an improvisor/comic at the same time. I've been playing guitar since July last year. I would like to get better more faster but it does seem like a slow process.
My favourite chord is DflatM7. I also like B7.
I've been thinking about the concept of money and how it is generated and how it can be authentically generated. I'm talking about this concept in a global sense. Is wealth limited? Does creating wealth cause problems for poorer nations? I think I'll look around for some books on this. If anyone has any references please comment on this post.
I planted some flowers today.
I've been thinking about what do I want to say in this public blog. How personal do I want to get?
I correct my thinking on a daily basis so what I wrote a week ago, I might not think the same or may feel my comment is no longer relevant. Or maybe realize that what I truly wanted to express was not clearly expressed the way I intended.
Friday, May 20, 2005
I had my last class yesterday for this 9 week general home maintenance course I took. I enjoyed the overall experience. I have no inclination to go into trades but I thought it would be good to learn the basic skills so that if I own a house in the future, I can do repairs. I hope to retain the information that I learned. There was a lot of hands on work so I think that would make it easier to remember what to do. The topics covered include carpentry, electrical, drywall and plumbing.
It's the long weekend here in Canada. I don't have any major plans. I think I will help my mother plant flowers. I read in a book that planting can be a meditative type activity. Even sports can be meditative. Anything really can be meditative because it depends on how you do the activity and the mental focus and mindfulness with which you do the activity.
Yes folks that means even eating ice cream can be mediative.
I think I need to learn to be less direct sometimes. I'm pretty honest and to the point but I think I need to relax sometimes and not be so damn strong willed. I think because I am strong willed I use that to solve problems and try to plough through but maybe it helps to relax. There's just a few areas where I think this is relevant for me. Sometimes I think we all make things hard for ourselves by doing too much and sometimes doing less is more effective.
I woke up realizing that this morning that I need to chill and not be so forceful with my will.
To use a metaphor; it's like I'm yelling at a seed to grow faster when my yelling does nothing so if I just take care of it and not worry so much about how it grows and maybe nicely encourage it to grow big and strong.
I have been doing chi kung (or qi gong) for just over a month and have been enjoying it. I got this nice dvd from www.taichi18.com and it's this effective 10 mins routine. It's a free dvd and you charge for shipping. Well techically they overcharge for shipping because it only cost them 85 cents to ship it and they charged me $8 for shipping. But it's still good and I recommend it to people. I did the routine for about 20 mins every day and on my fourth or fifth day I felt deeply relaxed about 2 hours after I finished doing it. I went to my hairdressor that day and it was funny because I kept commenting how deeply relaxed I was. My skin is also improving and I haven't been breaking out much. My skin is softer too.
That quiz I took the other day is kind of silly. It makes this statements based on what kind of animal you choose for the questions they asked. Frankly I hate quizzes but do them anyways. I hate them because there are not enough options. I think for the first question I didn't know what animal to pick because none of them I like but you have no other choice. Well I don't place much value on them but they amuse me somewhat.
Thanks for reading my blog folks.
It's the long weekend here in Canada. I don't have any major plans. I think I will help my mother plant flowers. I read in a book that planting can be a meditative type activity. Even sports can be meditative. Anything really can be meditative because it depends on how you do the activity and the mental focus and mindfulness with which you do the activity.
Yes folks that means even eating ice cream can be mediative.
I think I need to learn to be less direct sometimes. I'm pretty honest and to the point but I think I need to relax sometimes and not be so damn strong willed. I think because I am strong willed I use that to solve problems and try to plough through but maybe it helps to relax. There's just a few areas where I think this is relevant for me. Sometimes I think we all make things hard for ourselves by doing too much and sometimes doing less is more effective.
I woke up realizing that this morning that I need to chill and not be so forceful with my will.
To use a metaphor; it's like I'm yelling at a seed to grow faster when my yelling does nothing so if I just take care of it and not worry so much about how it grows and maybe nicely encourage it to grow big and strong.
I have been doing chi kung (or qi gong) for just over a month and have been enjoying it. I got this nice dvd from www.taichi18.com and it's this effective 10 mins routine. It's a free dvd and you charge for shipping. Well techically they overcharge for shipping because it only cost them 85 cents to ship it and they charged me $8 for shipping. But it's still good and I recommend it to people. I did the routine for about 20 mins every day and on my fourth or fifth day I felt deeply relaxed about 2 hours after I finished doing it. I went to my hairdressor that day and it was funny because I kept commenting how deeply relaxed I was. My skin is also improving and I haven't been breaking out much. My skin is softer too.
That quiz I took the other day is kind of silly. It makes this statements based on what kind of animal you choose for the questions they asked. Frankly I hate quizzes but do them anyways. I hate them because there are not enough options. I think for the first question I didn't know what animal to pick because none of them I like but you have no other choice. Well I don't place much value on them but they amuse me somewhat.
Thanks for reading my blog folks.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
a quiz
The Keys to Your Heart |
| You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
| In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. |
| You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
| You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. |
| Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
| Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
| You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore. |
| In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
Meh
I watched Montel Williams this afternoon. I don't watch talkshows much but I watched it because Sylvia Browne was on. I wonder if she is legitimate and if anyone has done a background check on her. I believe in a spiritual world but I am skeptical about people like that. Anyways, I just watched her because I wonder about people like her.
I'm reading Goethean Science (aka Nature's Open Secret). I tried to read it about a few weeks ago but just couldn't get my head around it but today I was able to succeed. It's a Steiner book. He also talks about Darwin in it. I wonder if Steiner talks more extensively about the Darwin theory. I had a debate with a boyfriend about this theory because I see it as a limited theory. And just because I think that, he automatically assumed I was a Creationist, which I am not. I tried to inform him about this book called Darwin's blackbox; the biochemical challenge.
It is written by some Biochemical professor at Harvard I think. And the problem with the Darwin theory according to this book, is that it cannot answer it from a biochemical view. I only read a bit and I hope to read the rest of it. Darwinism only works in microevolution, which I agree with as well but according to this view, it does not explain evolution in a macroevolution view, i.e. how species transform.
I tried telling my boyfriend at the time this but his 'brilliant' argument was:
Fossils, fossils, fossils.
I was not denying the evidence of the fossils but I just think the Darwin theory on evolution is simplistic. I'm going to try and explain this the best I can so if there are any experts in this area, please comment. The processes that occur biochemically in say the eye are actually quite complex while Darwin made it seem like what goes on in the eye is simple.
Anyways, I have to read the rest of the book.
I am neither a Creationist nor am I a Darwinist and I am not against people who are!
I got some email from About.com saying that so many people are blogging but that all the CEO's of companies are not. Did it ever occur to the drones at About.com that maybe a CEO can assume a fake name? And maybe CEO's are regular people as well. And that maybe they don't blog about their company specifically but about the people who work for them? Or maybe they complain about politics or their marriage or how stupid their one child is and despite all their good intentions and sending their child to a private school, the kid is still hopeless?
I'm reading Goethean Science (aka Nature's Open Secret). I tried to read it about a few weeks ago but just couldn't get my head around it but today I was able to succeed. It's a Steiner book. He also talks about Darwin in it. I wonder if Steiner talks more extensively about the Darwin theory. I had a debate with a boyfriend about this theory because I see it as a limited theory. And just because I think that, he automatically assumed I was a Creationist, which I am not. I tried to inform him about this book called Darwin's blackbox; the biochemical challenge.
It is written by some Biochemical professor at Harvard I think. And the problem with the Darwin theory according to this book, is that it cannot answer it from a biochemical view. I only read a bit and I hope to read the rest of it. Darwinism only works in microevolution, which I agree with as well but according to this view, it does not explain evolution in a macroevolution view, i.e. how species transform.
I tried telling my boyfriend at the time this but his 'brilliant' argument was:
Fossils, fossils, fossils.
I was not denying the evidence of the fossils but I just think the Darwin theory on evolution is simplistic. I'm going to try and explain this the best I can so if there are any experts in this area, please comment. The processes that occur biochemically in say the eye are actually quite complex while Darwin made it seem like what goes on in the eye is simple.
Anyways, I have to read the rest of the book.
I am neither a Creationist nor am I a Darwinist and I am not against people who are!
I got some email from About.com saying that so many people are blogging but that all the CEO's of companies are not. Did it ever occur to the drones at About.com that maybe a CEO can assume a fake name? And maybe CEO's are regular people as well. And that maybe they don't blog about their company specifically but about the people who work for them? Or maybe they complain about politics or their marriage or how stupid their one child is and despite all their good intentions and sending their child to a private school, the kid is still hopeless?
Monday, May 16, 2005
Little Miss Cranky Pants
I am a bit disgruntled as I am looking for a job and haven't found one yet. I've had a couple of interviews and signed up with a temp agency. I'm trying to stay positive.
I got let go at my previous job in February due to not enough work. I enjoyed having some free time but now I am eager to work and to have some money coming in.
I used to work in factories and warehouses but I want to switch to customer service or inside sales. I also have a part time business that I want to sell.
I got let go at my previous job in February due to not enough work. I enjoyed having some free time but now I am eager to work and to have some money coming in.
I used to work in factories and warehouses but I want to switch to customer service or inside sales. I also have a part time business that I want to sell.
Love is a necessity
I had my study group this evening. We read books by Rudolf Steiner. My mother calls it a book club but I call it a study group because book club sounds gay. We got into the topic of love and touch because we were discussing needs such as hunger. Love I think is a need, a higher need. We talked about how children deprived of touch can become more heartless and uncaring and sociopathic.
I basically think Love is a necessity. I think we also need to cultivate love within our selves. I think when we love people unconditionally we also provide healing to them. Loving unconditionally doesn't mean condoning destructive behaviour. It's hard though to love people but I think that we need to challenge our own thoughts. I also think that people that are the most fucked up are the ones that need love the most. I'm a happy people and I'm full of love and joy. I don't need love in the sense that I have it inside. I know how to create it for myself. Not everyone in the world knows how to do that.
Why do we forget that we have inner needs as well and not just material needs?
Why is it when we talk about children, we forget that we were once children as well? We talk about children like we never were one but we were.
I also went for a nice hike this morning with a friend.
Before my study group I went to say goodbye to my grandmother's house one last time. She moved into a retirement home yesterday because of my grandfather passing away. I just wanted closure as the house has been a place of memories for me and I think saying goodbye is a nice way for closure.
I also gave the house a hug and told it to be nice to the new owners.
I basically think Love is a necessity. I think we also need to cultivate love within our selves. I think when we love people unconditionally we also provide healing to them. Loving unconditionally doesn't mean condoning destructive behaviour. It's hard though to love people but I think that we need to challenge our own thoughts. I also think that people that are the most fucked up are the ones that need love the most. I'm a happy people and I'm full of love and joy. I don't need love in the sense that I have it inside. I know how to create it for myself. Not everyone in the world knows how to do that.
Why do we forget that we have inner needs as well and not just material needs?
Why is it when we talk about children, we forget that we were once children as well? We talk about children like we never were one but we were.
I also went for a nice hike this morning with a friend.
Before my study group I went to say goodbye to my grandmother's house one last time. She moved into a retirement home yesterday because of my grandfather passing away. I just wanted closure as the house has been a place of memories for me and I think saying goodbye is a nice way for closure.
I also gave the house a hug and told it to be nice to the new owners.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Mmm tired
I had my Foundation Studies today. It's a course that's at the Rudolf Steiner Centre in Thornhill. This term we are doing mainly presentations. It's a part time course on Saturdays from 9-4 and it's about 26 weeks broken into 3 terms. We had 2 presenters and their projects were both on Waldorf education. We have some people who are interested in becoming Waldorf teachers.
I wore my Led Zeppelin t-shirt but had a hoodie on as it's still cold. I look hot though in my shirt.
I had family over for dinner as they have been moving my grandmother's furniture as she moved into a nursing home today.
My grandfather died on February 28, the day after his 86th birthday.
I miss him.
My house (I still live with my parents...hope to move out in July) is filled with my grandmother's furniture. It's too much stuff now in our basement and the upstairs.
Less is more people.
I am eagerly waiting for someone to comment on my blogs. I wonder if anyone is reading this??
I'm tired but I feel good.
I wore my Led Zeppelin t-shirt but had a hoodie on as it's still cold. I look hot though in my shirt.
I had family over for dinner as they have been moving my grandmother's furniture as she moved into a nursing home today.
My grandfather died on February 28, the day after his 86th birthday.
I miss him.
My house (I still live with my parents...hope to move out in July) is filled with my grandmother's furniture. It's too much stuff now in our basement and the upstairs.
Less is more people.
I am eagerly waiting for someone to comment on my blogs. I wonder if anyone is reading this??
I'm tired but I feel good.
Men and Sex
I have this problem with men and sex. I am having trouble finding a guy that actually likes sex. I find that guys really don't like it and if they do they are jerks who are stupid and that's all they can think about.
Are there not any intelligent men with careers and hobbies and friends etc who still enjoy sex and actually think it is a vital component in a relationship?
I have 2 potential guys in my life who I could have sex with but they seem to be happy not getting any. And it's not me because they are attracted to me. They are guys that I did go out with and we are friends. One of the guys I am casually seeing. They just don't get the importance of sex. And I am not a skank also. I am selective in my men. I like smart, funny and nice people.
I have a pretty good sex drive and so I don't understand what is their problem.
It's been like 2 months without it and that's too long as far as I am concerned.
So please tell me where are the good men who like sex????????
Are there not any intelligent men with careers and hobbies and friends etc who still enjoy sex and actually think it is a vital component in a relationship?
I have 2 potential guys in my life who I could have sex with but they seem to be happy not getting any. And it's not me because they are attracted to me. They are guys that I did go out with and we are friends. One of the guys I am casually seeing. They just don't get the importance of sex. And I am not a skank also. I am selective in my men. I like smart, funny and nice people.
I have a pretty good sex drive and so I don't understand what is their problem.
It's been like 2 months without it and that's too long as far as I am concerned.
So please tell me where are the good men who like sex????????
Friday, May 13, 2005
Hello
Hello,
This is my first post. I only signed up so that I could post on other people's blogs.
Damn it I keep a journal. That's good for me.
I'm a happy person.
My passion is improv and anthroposophy.
I enjoy men and currently looking to settle down and spawn. I have a few years to do that. I'm not in a rush but I would like to find the right man soon.
I like playing the guitar as well.
Paula
This is my first post. I only signed up so that I could post on other people's blogs.
Damn it I keep a journal. That's good for me.
I'm a happy person.
My passion is improv and anthroposophy.
I enjoy men and currently looking to settle down and spawn. I have a few years to do that. I'm not in a rush but I would like to find the right man soon.
I like playing the guitar as well.
Paula
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