Sunday, May 20, 2007

Not Much to Say

Greetings and Salutations,

I think I have reached the pinnacle of my self expression. I have not much to say in the world, to the world.

It's all bullshit and I wonder if my expressing myself just makes the world a more confusing place to live.

Everyone lies to some degree, whether to a partner or to themselves.
Everyone has some degree of selfishness, whether they are aware of it or not.
Everyone has some degree of negativity that skews their perception of events.

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I don't know if I need to be more confrontational with people. I think due to my belief in non violence, it has led me to become weak. There are people out there I should beat up but I don't because I don't believe in violence. I don't want to get involved in drama. I only speak up when I feel necessary but I generally don't fight as much. I don't need to be dragged down by people's low emotional intelligence and their inability to deal with their internal strife.

I don't think I am complacent but sometimes I think maybe people need to see someone get angry at them. We are such a permissive society. Some people probably need to hear that they are acting like an asshole or a whore or too selfish. Sometimes we all need a stern warning about our behaviour.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Unamused

Greetings and Salutations,

I have regretably joined Facebook even though I did say that I would consider joining 6 months from now (I said this probably last month). Have I succumbed to social pressure or curiosity? Most likely curiosity. I am not impressed with this. The initial adrenlin rush of adding friends to my list is dissipating. As a pragmatist, I see very little use in how this tool would be useful in my life.

I did find my ex best friend whom I 'dumped' about 8 years ago because I felt our friendship was going weird. I have heard from her. If I were to rekindle a lost friendship, that one might be the one I think has some hope.

A friend from high school had several other people from high school on her list. Many of these people I didn't care for and I although I do not harbour resentment, I do not care to add them to my friends list. The reality of life is that we will encounter all these people and only a few we find some connection.
I looked at the friends list of several other people and they had over 500. I could not imagine having that many friends. Although I tend to get along with most people, I find it very difficult to have a geniune connection with most people. Why? I don't know. I know that I am different from people but I don't think I'm so unique that I can't relate to people.

Actually I don't think it's difficult for me to have a genuine connection with people. I think for many people, they have difficulty being open and honest with others because they are not open and honest with themselves.

I have also noticed many of the women under 30 use pictures of themselves with their wedding dress on. I wonder if it's because a)this is the only good picture of themself that they have available b)it's the most recent photo they have or c)because their identity is largely tied up with the idea that getting married is a sign one has made it.

I believe the answer is c. I believe for many of these young women, their self concept is largely defined by the fact that they now have someone and they place such value on marriage.

I am sure for some Facebook has been useful in their life. Facebook your time is ticking.

* * *

Many of my readers may not know this however I plan on taking a vacation to Vancouver this year from June 1-10. So if you are attracted to me, that would be a good time to 'accidently' run into me in Vancouver and you can profess your love for me and how amazing you think I am.

Yes this is one of my personal fantasies. A really tiny portion of my soul - probably .07% believes that some guy I know secretly harbours feelings for me but is too afraid to tell me in fear that I will break his heart by telling him I'm not interested. The odds of me telling a guy I am not interested and breaking his heart is quite high.

But the point is that I still harbour this fantasy of a guy I know harbouring feelings and then expressing them. It's not really the breaking his heart part that is my fantasy.

Anyways, I plan on white river rafting for 3 days. I really want to do that and everything else after that will be icing on the cake.