Greetings all,
I had watched today a documentary called 9 to 5: Days in Porn, which is a documentary about the porn industry. I was a little disappointed because I was hoping it would show more about the dysfunctional side of the industry, however I felt it was portraying it as a regular job.
The porn industry is obviously a big one, and I as a female who does not watch porn does not understand why. I personally would rather make my own porn for myself then profit off of it, although I see nothing wrong in doing so.
One porn star Sasha Grey was a regular porn watcher and went into the industry because she really wanted to create better porn. I think she was the most interesting because she knew what she wanted. She also was wanting it to be more creative and wanted more creative control.
They showed a former porn star who is now a doctor and works to test those in the industry. I think the industry has changed since she was in it. She talked about the negative side of the industry, however I wanted to see more of this. I just didn't feel the movie covered the darker side.
I had found out on Wiki after researching the following 'dr'. She actually has a Phd from one of those unaccredited degree mills (like Dr. Doreen Virtue I am guessing) in sexuality and was the founder for this organization that tests the porn stars. So this movie was misrepresenting her as on the dvd it calls her a Dr. which she is not a real one.
They all seem to enjoy their work and don't feel it's degrading. I would have liked to hear more about the male porn star. They only showed one and didn't cover him too much. I don't think any of them had drug problems but I'm sure there must me some. They all seemed pretty professional in this field.
At the end of the documentary they show the actors and say where they are now in their life and I was amused as an anthroposophist to learn that at the end, one of the porn actresses in the documentary was said to be wanting to send her child to Waldorf kindergarten. I was surprised because usually those who know what a Waldorf school are either enlightened or have lots of money.
Most of these people had relationships that were long term.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Greetings all,
I had gone to my doctor last week because I have been feeling sleepy since the beginning of September. I am still with my doctor in Hamilton and will need to find a Toronto doctor. I've contacted one place but they weren't accepting new patients. I may go down to that clinic since it had multiple doctors. I am currently with a female and prefer a female doctor, although maybe having a male would not be so bad.
I have not been feeling fatigued tired, just sleepy tired. Like feeling drowsy. I've been yawning all day and generally want to sleep although I can't. I had a blood test done so it looks like my iron is low and has dropped from last year. I was taking iron pills for 6-8 weeks and then was to take them during my period. I was doing this for a few months but didn't notice much of a difference in my sleepiness. I had figured that it was because of getting less sunshine due to the winter that I was feeling sleepy so that was why I went to the doctor. I was hoping there would be some medicine to increase my alertness so that I wouldn't feel sleepy all the time.
It's possible maybe I needed to stay on it longer. Back in December my iron was at 16, prior to that 25. Now it is at 10.
I had given blood a few times this year and someone told me black molasses was high in iron so I would start drinking that a few times a month. You just put in a tablespoon in a glass of hot water. I've read that giving blood can lower your iron so maybe that was why, however I would take the black molasses the day I gave blood and a few days after it. I had stopped giving blood because I felt too drained afterwards and felt like it took a bit too long to feel normal again. I felt a little low energy. When I took the black molasses, I felt like my recovery time was fast and I didn't feel that drained the next day. I had figured taking some black molasses would help with my iron issue.
I don't know if low iron is my problem or if it's symptomatic of a larger issue. I eat meat every day.
I'll be seeing the doctor again in November, so we'll see how much my iron levels improve.
I had gone to my doctor last week because I have been feeling sleepy since the beginning of September. I am still with my doctor in Hamilton and will need to find a Toronto doctor. I've contacted one place but they weren't accepting new patients. I may go down to that clinic since it had multiple doctors. I am currently with a female and prefer a female doctor, although maybe having a male would not be so bad.
I have not been feeling fatigued tired, just sleepy tired. Like feeling drowsy. I've been yawning all day and generally want to sleep although I can't. I had a blood test done so it looks like my iron is low and has dropped from last year. I was taking iron pills for 6-8 weeks and then was to take them during my period. I was doing this for a few months but didn't notice much of a difference in my sleepiness. I had figured that it was because of getting less sunshine due to the winter that I was feeling sleepy so that was why I went to the doctor. I was hoping there would be some medicine to increase my alertness so that I wouldn't feel sleepy all the time.
It's possible maybe I needed to stay on it longer. Back in December my iron was at 16, prior to that 25. Now it is at 10.
I had given blood a few times this year and someone told me black molasses was high in iron so I would start drinking that a few times a month. You just put in a tablespoon in a glass of hot water. I've read that giving blood can lower your iron so maybe that was why, however I would take the black molasses the day I gave blood and a few days after it. I had stopped giving blood because I felt too drained afterwards and felt like it took a bit too long to feel normal again. I felt a little low energy. When I took the black molasses, I felt like my recovery time was fast and I didn't feel that drained the next day. I had figured taking some black molasses would help with my iron issue.
I don't know if low iron is my problem or if it's symptomatic of a larger issue. I eat meat every day.
I'll be seeing the doctor again in November, so we'll see how much my iron levels improve.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Greetings all,
My mom had informed me this morning that my grandmother passed away last night. We were expecting it as last week she had low oxygen levels. She was taken to the hospital and she got sent back to her nursing home after a few days with kidney issues and water in the lungs. Now I have no more grandparents.
With the fall just around the corner, I feel death in the air. Everything is just coming to an end, to its death. Having this is just making me feel like I have no control anymore in life because time is the ruler. Everyone gets older and there is nothing we can do.
I would love to turn back time or to just freeze it but I can't. We are all prone to death and it's scary. We think by keeping busy and filling up our lives that that will keep at bay death but it doesn't.
Life seems so short and so fleeting. I just want to hold on to it but I can't. It's about letting go.
Youth does seem to be wasted on the young.
My mom had informed me this morning that my grandmother passed away last night. We were expecting it as last week she had low oxygen levels. She was taken to the hospital and she got sent back to her nursing home after a few days with kidney issues and water in the lungs. Now I have no more grandparents.
With the fall just around the corner, I feel death in the air. Everything is just coming to an end, to its death. Having this is just making me feel like I have no control anymore in life because time is the ruler. Everyone gets older and there is nothing we can do.
I would love to turn back time or to just freeze it but I can't. We are all prone to death and it's scary. We think by keeping busy and filling up our lives that that will keep at bay death but it doesn't.
Life seems so short and so fleeting. I just want to hold on to it but I can't. It's about letting go.
Youth does seem to be wasted on the young.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Greetings all,
I had applied for EI last month and got a phone call from the case manager yesterday. She had notified me that on my Record of Employment it said I was dismissed. I have not had the chance to see my ROE since the company sent it directly to the government and I am having problems logging on to the Service Canada website. I had written on my application that I was downsized due to restructuring. Because that's how I interpreted their reason which they said was 'human resource'. Pretty vague reason to let someone go. They had moved someone from another department into ours because her department was being transferred to another city. As well things were slowing down a bit so that's what I figured.
I was pretty pissed because now I am wondering if employers can access this information and as well, the company lied to me. They had stated it was a 'human resource' reason. Is this now the new code for 'you're fired'. That is utter nonesense. I will be seeking legal advice on this because this better not result in me not getting EI. I had a performance review months ago and my review was favourable. We had a new team leader so maybe he just didn't like me but that is no reason to get rid of me. I think he is a pussy and have lost all respect for him. I think there were others there who should have gotten let go whose performance was not up to par.
This is why I don't trust companies. They do what they want anyways. And they want me to work and slave for them???? Hell no! I want a balanced life and am not going to be so committed to an organization that only cares about itself and it's profits.
* * *
I decided to take this standup comedy class for only females. I took it last year and they also have a level 2, which is what I am taking. It started yesterday and what irks me is that some of the people in the class didn't take level 1 so I don't understand why they are in this class. The level 1 is on Thursday so maybe that was not a good day for them but I don't think it's right that they are taking it. As well it seems like the teacher is basically teaching the same things again and not doing any new writing exercises. I am not sure if this is good for me to take. I saw on facebook that they did a class show and had these cool posters. Maybe it's just a good chance to be seen.
I am also annoyed by one of the girls in the class. She was going to do a joke on this guy friend she invited to her place and made him think he was going to get sex but she was just calling his bluff and was not going to sleep with him. She had him naked on her roommate's bed with a condom on, ready to go. I don't know what their relationship was but I understood that they were friends.
What pissed me off is that this girl was being a cocktease and being disrespectful towards this guy. She's just playing with him in a way that I didn't think was cool and was cruel. What pissed me off more was everyone thought what she did was okay. I frankly thought it was mean and just a sign of her insecurity. And it's a way for these insecure people to feel better about themselves. It's not how a woman behaves, it's how an immature baby behaves! If a guy friend wants to fuck you and you don't want to, it's better to just tell him or dump him as a friend. I fail to see how being a cock tease is going to teach him a lesson.
I can understand wanting some revenge but I think it's better to take the high road with people. It reminds me of that Carrie Underwood song Before He cheats where she basically sings about her revenge on an ex. It's cute as a song but to me when a woman acts on her vengeful tendencies, that is scary and there is something wrong with the person. It's one thing to have thoughts of hurting someone but to act upon the destructive thoughts... well that is just wrong!
The girl was 24 and was a non stop chatter so I was really annoyed. As a woman, I was a little offended. I want to see females do something a little more intelligent instead of doing mean jokes about guys they jerk around with psychologically.
The other thing that irked me is that the teacher was telling me to turn my joke on me (so it ends up being self deprecating) whereas with this girl, she didn't tell her to do the same. The girl was being a cocktease so she should be making fun of what a trollup she is. Or not make the joke at all!
My style of comedy is not self deprecating at all and comedy doesn't have to be self deprecating. Some of the funniest jokes I can think of aren't self deprecating.
I wonder if this class will be good for me. I hope so.
I had applied for EI last month and got a phone call from the case manager yesterday. She had notified me that on my Record of Employment it said I was dismissed. I have not had the chance to see my ROE since the company sent it directly to the government and I am having problems logging on to the Service Canada website. I had written on my application that I was downsized due to restructuring. Because that's how I interpreted their reason which they said was 'human resource'. Pretty vague reason to let someone go. They had moved someone from another department into ours because her department was being transferred to another city. As well things were slowing down a bit so that's what I figured.
I was pretty pissed because now I am wondering if employers can access this information and as well, the company lied to me. They had stated it was a 'human resource' reason. Is this now the new code for 'you're fired'. That is utter nonesense. I will be seeking legal advice on this because this better not result in me not getting EI. I had a performance review months ago and my review was favourable. We had a new team leader so maybe he just didn't like me but that is no reason to get rid of me. I think he is a pussy and have lost all respect for him. I think there were others there who should have gotten let go whose performance was not up to par.
This is why I don't trust companies. They do what they want anyways. And they want me to work and slave for them???? Hell no! I want a balanced life and am not going to be so committed to an organization that only cares about itself and it's profits.
I decided to take this standup comedy class for only females. I took it last year and they also have a level 2, which is what I am taking. It started yesterday and what irks me is that some of the people in the class didn't take level 1 so I don't understand why they are in this class. The level 1 is on Thursday so maybe that was not a good day for them but I don't think it's right that they are taking it. As well it seems like the teacher is basically teaching the same things again and not doing any new writing exercises. I am not sure if this is good for me to take. I saw on facebook that they did a class show and had these cool posters. Maybe it's just a good chance to be seen.
I am also annoyed by one of the girls in the class. She was going to do a joke on this guy friend she invited to her place and made him think he was going to get sex but she was just calling his bluff and was not going to sleep with him. She had him naked on her roommate's bed with a condom on, ready to go. I don't know what their relationship was but I understood that they were friends.
What pissed me off is that this girl was being a cocktease and being disrespectful towards this guy. She's just playing with him in a way that I didn't think was cool and was cruel. What pissed me off more was everyone thought what she did was okay. I frankly thought it was mean and just a sign of her insecurity. And it's a way for these insecure people to feel better about themselves. It's not how a woman behaves, it's how an immature baby behaves! If a guy friend wants to fuck you and you don't want to, it's better to just tell him or dump him as a friend. I fail to see how being a cock tease is going to teach him a lesson.
I can understand wanting some revenge but I think it's better to take the high road with people. It reminds me of that Carrie Underwood song Before He cheats where she basically sings about her revenge on an ex. It's cute as a song but to me when a woman acts on her vengeful tendencies, that is scary and there is something wrong with the person. It's one thing to have thoughts of hurting someone but to act upon the destructive thoughts... well that is just wrong!
The girl was 24 and was a non stop chatter so I was really annoyed. As a woman, I was a little offended. I want to see females do something a little more intelligent instead of doing mean jokes about guys they jerk around with psychologically.
The other thing that irked me is that the teacher was telling me to turn my joke on me (so it ends up being self deprecating) whereas with this girl, she didn't tell her to do the same. The girl was being a cocktease so she should be making fun of what a trollup she is. Or not make the joke at all!
My style of comedy is not self deprecating at all and comedy doesn't have to be self deprecating. Some of the funniest jokes I can think of aren't self deprecating.
I wonder if this class will be good for me. I hope so.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
I went down to my parent's on the weekend usually we say our goodbyes at my car. I think when I was leaving, I was starting to become aware that I think they actually love me.
* * *
I started to feel sleepy again on Monday. I was thinking it was because now the days are getting shorter. I think last year I was starting to get sleepy around the end of October. Now I am starting to wonder if I have some other problem and not seasonal affective disorder (SAD). I tried the light box, vitamin d and calcium and iron and those things didn't help. Maybe I have some other issue. I am thinking maybe it's hypothyroidism or an adrenal issue. I've been reading a site a friend recommended called stop the thyroid madness. I've taken my morning temperature and it seems to be a bit low according to what the site is saying is normal. I'll have to speak with her because she has a thyroid issue and used over the counter meds and they helped.
I started to feel sleepy again on Monday. I was thinking it was because now the days are getting shorter. I think last year I was starting to get sleepy around the end of October. Now I am starting to wonder if I have some other problem and not seasonal affective disorder (SAD). I tried the light box, vitamin d and calcium and iron and those things didn't help. Maybe I have some other issue. I am thinking maybe it's hypothyroidism or an adrenal issue. I've been reading a site a friend recommended called stop the thyroid madness. I've taken my morning temperature and it seems to be a bit low according to what the site is saying is normal. I'll have to speak with her because she has a thyroid issue and used over the counter meds and they helped.
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Facebook Status Updates
Greetings all,
Some people are really annoying with what they post on facebook. I have some friends who I have to put their news feed on hide because of what they post. Now you may ask, what is the point then of this? I can still visit their profile but at least I am somewhat in control of what I see.
I have a few friends that play those farmville games or mafia wars. I don't need to see that in the feeds and I don't know why they hide this from making the feeds. It's quite annoying.
I have alot of friends who I've met on the standup scene and some of them promote their events in their status updates. Now not all the people that do that are annoying but I have a couple(as in 2 people, not boyfriend/girlfriend) of friends that I find are self absorbed and always seem to talk about how great their life is or always promoting themselves.
I think there is nothing wrong with that but to be mindful that it's rude to be constantly promoting yourself or to be so self absorbed.
One of these people is a woman in her mid-40s. She lives in Toronto but has recently moved to London. She was one of those people that had kids young so she probably didn't get to explore life much and probably started comedy when her kids were more grown. It's annoying actually to hear her constantly brag about how great her life is. I'm not jealous or anything but I am wondering if she is overcompensating for her (I'm guessing) previously boring house wife life. She always brags about if she is in a commercial or has some show. She is currently travelling in Paris. I on occasion visit her page so she is currently bragging about seeing things in Paris. Things I already saw when I was 28.
She also has some video blogs on her facebook but I find them really annoying and actually childish for a woman that age. She does a whole series on breaking up with her husband (which isn't true). I watched them and I just find her over the top but too much so that it no longer is funny. All of her friends are constantly saying how pretty and wonderful she is and her work and I just think that feeds her starving ego.
I don't know her well enough but this is just from what I gather. I have seen some of her standup and while I think she does get how to make jokes, her sets have primarily been sexual (I would say 90% have a sexual tone to it) and I personally cannot respect anyone whose entire set is just sexual jokes. It's too easy. As an improviser, the sex jokes, the jokes about piss and shitting. Those are the easy jokes. It takes skill to actually do 'clean' jokes and talk about things more intellectual.
I think she has came in second place for some contest where people vote who the winner is. There are a few out there for comedians. Some of those are just popularity contests and those are easy to win if you have lots of friends and are persistently bugging them to vote for you. Which she did. And which I didn't vote for her. I think I voted for someone else whom I thought was funnier.
I have decided that I will vote for those who I actually like, not if you are my friend. I think in the long run it's for people's good. It forces them, I hope, to keep persisting and working on their material. If they are always winning things because their friends vote for them, they don't actually work on their craft. Obviously in the entertainment world, not all who are successful have skill (like Justin Bieber) but at least overall most have some talent and skill.
I have one friend who is currently in Korea. I think it's cool. She's not bragging and so I don't find her annoying. The woman I mention is showing off and that is what is annoying. I'm not jealous of her successes and probably would respect her more if I didn't get the vibe that she was narcissistic.
The other guy that annoys me basically is the same way and constantly talks about himself and his projects.
I don't intend to unhide their feeds because their personalities are so annoying. I don't consider them my friends but more as acquaintances, otherwise I would unfriend them.
Some people are really annoying with what they post on facebook. I have some friends who I have to put their news feed on hide because of what they post. Now you may ask, what is the point then of this? I can still visit their profile but at least I am somewhat in control of what I see.
I have a few friends that play those farmville games or mafia wars. I don't need to see that in the feeds and I don't know why they hide this from making the feeds. It's quite annoying.
I have alot of friends who I've met on the standup scene and some of them promote their events in their status updates. Now not all the people that do that are annoying but I have a couple(as in 2 people, not boyfriend/girlfriend) of friends that I find are self absorbed and always seem to talk about how great their life is or always promoting themselves.
I think there is nothing wrong with that but to be mindful that it's rude to be constantly promoting yourself or to be so self absorbed.
One of these people is a woman in her mid-40s. She lives in Toronto but has recently moved to London. She was one of those people that had kids young so she probably didn't get to explore life much and probably started comedy when her kids were more grown. It's annoying actually to hear her constantly brag about how great her life is. I'm not jealous or anything but I am wondering if she is overcompensating for her (I'm guessing) previously boring house wife life. She always brags about if she is in a commercial or has some show. She is currently travelling in Paris. I on occasion visit her page so she is currently bragging about seeing things in Paris. Things I already saw when I was 28.
She also has some video blogs on her facebook but I find them really annoying and actually childish for a woman that age. She does a whole series on breaking up with her husband (which isn't true). I watched them and I just find her over the top but too much so that it no longer is funny. All of her friends are constantly saying how pretty and wonderful she is and her work and I just think that feeds her starving ego.
I don't know her well enough but this is just from what I gather. I have seen some of her standup and while I think she does get how to make jokes, her sets have primarily been sexual (I would say 90% have a sexual tone to it) and I personally cannot respect anyone whose entire set is just sexual jokes. It's too easy. As an improviser, the sex jokes, the jokes about piss and shitting. Those are the easy jokes. It takes skill to actually do 'clean' jokes and talk about things more intellectual.
I think she has came in second place for some contest where people vote who the winner is. There are a few out there for comedians. Some of those are just popularity contests and those are easy to win if you have lots of friends and are persistently bugging them to vote for you. Which she did. And which I didn't vote for her. I think I voted for someone else whom I thought was funnier.
I have decided that I will vote for those who I actually like, not if you are my friend. I think in the long run it's for people's good. It forces them, I hope, to keep persisting and working on their material. If they are always winning things because their friends vote for them, they don't actually work on their craft. Obviously in the entertainment world, not all who are successful have skill (like Justin Bieber) but at least overall most have some talent and skill.
I have one friend who is currently in Korea. I think it's cool. She's not bragging and so I don't find her annoying. The woman I mention is showing off and that is what is annoying. I'm not jealous of her successes and probably would respect her more if I didn't get the vibe that she was narcissistic.
The other guy that annoys me basically is the same way and constantly talks about himself and his projects.
I don't intend to unhide their feeds because their personalities are so annoying. I don't consider them my friends but more as acquaintances, otherwise I would unfriend them.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
The Office
Greetings all,
I have been watching the Office lately. Not the British version, the American one. I'd like to see the British and see what the differences are.
I normally don't watch tv, however, last week I decided I'd actually rent a movie. I NEVER rent movies and maybe have done so once or twice in my life. The reason being is that I no longer use television and movies to fill up my time. I usually spend time thinking alone or on the internet or going out and doing stuff.
Now I have too much free time. I will probably start job searching next week. I am waiting to hear from an employment counsellor since I was considering becoming an event planner. It was so weird but I went to the mall where their office is and I felt really spaced out. I don't know if I was dehydrated or just tired from last night.
Anyways, last week I decided to throw caution to the wind and let myself zone out by watching television. I decided to rent The Office and I am on this $10 plan where I can take out as many movies as I want for a month. The catch is I'm allowed only to take one at a time. So far I am up to Season 3, Disc 1.
My favourite character is Dwight Schrute. I see a little bit of me in him. One episode he was saying he was going to punish people. Now I have felt that way at my last job at times. I felt some people were just so sloppy that they should be punished or fired. Dwight is more out there.
The thing I don't like about office people in general is that sometimes they don't come out and speak directly. Basically you have to learn how to read between the lines. I notice this in email correspondences as well. It is aggravating. I understand the need for professionalism but why not speak directly? What is wrong with saying what you don't like? I guess people just don't want to speak the truth and just would rather use the 'I don't want to hurt your feelings' as an excuse.
And I think the Jim character is cute. The actor was born in the same year I was and he's married already so I don't think I have much of a chance.
In the first season, I found the people so serious. I didn't understand why they wouldn't laugh at their bosses jokes. Some of them were funny. I think that was the funny part. It showed they had no sense of humour at all. I think the boss Michael is bringing in something useful to the corporate world. He is not that great at managing but he believes in being friends with people and he brings this human element to the office, even though he is out of touch with reality at times.
But isn't that part of being in the corporate world? Because he is wanting to be their friends, he is breaking the boundaries that the corporate world sets. But I think perhaps work would be more enjoyable if people did try to be more friendly and open and laugh.
Some of the stuff that goes on is sexual harassment so I find I have a hard time accepting that portion of the show. I have a hard time suspending my disbelief and that's probably also why I don't like to watch television or movies.
I have been watching the Office lately. Not the British version, the American one. I'd like to see the British and see what the differences are.
I normally don't watch tv, however, last week I decided I'd actually rent a movie. I NEVER rent movies and maybe have done so once or twice in my life. The reason being is that I no longer use television and movies to fill up my time. I usually spend time thinking alone or on the internet or going out and doing stuff.
Now I have too much free time. I will probably start job searching next week. I am waiting to hear from an employment counsellor since I was considering becoming an event planner. It was so weird but I went to the mall where their office is and I felt really spaced out. I don't know if I was dehydrated or just tired from last night.
Anyways, last week I decided to throw caution to the wind and let myself zone out by watching television. I decided to rent The Office and I am on this $10 plan where I can take out as many movies as I want for a month. The catch is I'm allowed only to take one at a time. So far I am up to Season 3, Disc 1.
My favourite character is Dwight Schrute. I see a little bit of me in him. One episode he was saying he was going to punish people. Now I have felt that way at my last job at times. I felt some people were just so sloppy that they should be punished or fired. Dwight is more out there.
The thing I don't like about office people in general is that sometimes they don't come out and speak directly. Basically you have to learn how to read between the lines. I notice this in email correspondences as well. It is aggravating. I understand the need for professionalism but why not speak directly? What is wrong with saying what you don't like? I guess people just don't want to speak the truth and just would rather use the 'I don't want to hurt your feelings' as an excuse.
And I think the Jim character is cute. The actor was born in the same year I was and he's married already so I don't think I have much of a chance.
In the first season, I found the people so serious. I didn't understand why they wouldn't laugh at their bosses jokes. Some of them were funny. I think that was the funny part. It showed they had no sense of humour at all. I think the boss Michael is bringing in something useful to the corporate world. He is not that great at managing but he believes in being friends with people and he brings this human element to the office, even though he is out of touch with reality at times.
But isn't that part of being in the corporate world? Because he is wanting to be their friends, he is breaking the boundaries that the corporate world sets. But I think perhaps work would be more enjoyable if people did try to be more friendly and open and laugh.
Some of the stuff that goes on is sexual harassment so I find I have a hard time accepting that portion of the show. I have a hard time suspending my disbelief and that's probably also why I don't like to watch television or movies.
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