Greetings all,
I was at the Hamilton airport earlier last week as I was flying to Florida. I had purchased a key chain that I found there. It lists a birthday and then says what traits go with that. My birthday is January 13 and it describes those born on that day as follows:
Those born on January 13 are very goal oriented and strive for upward mobility; devoted to self-improvement, often having a remarkable memory and great sense of optimism. They can be opinionated and stubborn yet are lively and never boring.
I had thought this described me to a tee, especially the last sentence since I am opinionated and lively. I think because I have a good memory as well, people might see that if I bring something up from the past, it means I am petty. It does not. It just means I remember things accurately. I am just gifted with a good memory.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Winter Solstice
Greetings all,
I decided to take a week off and participate in a kundalini yoga winter solstice event. It takes place in Florida so it was a chance for me to get some sunlight and take a spiritual vacation as well.
I was tired a lot as 3 of the days were spent doing white tantric yoga where we have a partner. In the mornings we did 3 62 minute meditations and the afternoon was around 2 62 minutes meditations and maybe one or 2 31 minute meditations. There were slight variations during the 3 days with the number of meditations we were doing. We did different ones too and didn't repeat them. Most of them involved locking eyes with our partner. I noticed by the end of the last meditation that I felt pain more on my right side. According to yogic philosophy, the right side is the male energy and left is female so right is about giving and left is about receiving. I might have to work on being more giving and clearing the blocks. I'll probably ask the email group I am in about this to get some more experienced perspective. I heard some people experienced a lot of emotions coming up during the first day but for me, since I did a lot of clearing at home this year, I didn't have that sort of experience. I probably felt more physical pain rather then emotional pain. My mind was fairly calm during the 3 days. After the first day I had a pain in my right hip and on the third day during a meditation some pain was experienced around my right shoulder. They were offering workshops during the rest of the days and in one workshop, I noticed again there was some pain and discomfort on my right shoulder area.
At the end of the tantric portion, I felt I had to really muster my strength to do the second last meditation as the last one just involved holding our partner's hand so that was easy. I felt at the 2nd last one while on break, the concept of 'all for one and one for all'.
I feel pretty good now and had a great time. I think with all the kriyas and meditations we did, it'll take a few days to process all that energy. I really liked it since the week before Christmas, people get all stressed about buying gifts and they waste so much energy on materialism when this time of year (the winter solstice) has so much spiritual energy. It's too bad people are not sensitive to that but get suckered into the nonsense.
I sent out a lot of resumes the week before I left so I saw that someone called me so I will have to call them back to arrange for an interview.
I miss the sun though. It's dark here in Hamilton as I am staying at le Hotel Parents and there's some snow here. But it's good to be back in 'civilization'
There was the option of camping in a tent or staying in a cabin but I chose to tent it. It was cold at night but my sleeping bag was warm once I realized that if I put my blanket inside my bag, it would help. The first night I had my blanket over my bag and I think the heat is retained better once it was inside.
The next day after we finished the 3 days of white tantric yoga, a woman who was tenting near me was yelling at I am guessing her boyfriend. I guess work like this can bring out stuff you don't want to deal with and she was basically complaining about the relationship and called him an asshole. I was laughing a bit to myself as I thought this was not really the appropriate way to handle your anger, especially in a spiritual environment. I didn't hear the man yell back...
I had thought if he's an asshole, then why are you with him? Take responsibility for your choice in a man.
They have a summer solstice event in New Mexico and usually more people show up, usually over 2000 people. Here there was probably around 500.
As an introvert, I found it hard to socialize as there was so many people it's overwhelming. I met one woman from my previous retreat in Atlanta so I was more chatty with her. I think if I were to see these people again I might open up more. The conversation usually was just about where are you from, how long have you been doing kundalini. Nothing really too deep.
You have to do 'karma' yoga as well to help out and mine was being a veggie chopper. I managed to survive a week without internet, Nutella and no meat. I had thought I had an internet addiction but I guess it's just a habit since I can survive without it. We had a special Christmas eve dinner. On the white tantric days we got a vegetarian burger so that was a nice change. We basically ate the same foods every day. Breakfast was a soup made with onions, potatoes and celery. Dinner was mung beans, hot sauce (basically something made with onions), beets (which I didn't eat) and salad. Lunch was quinoa tabuleh and potatoes.
I brought chocolate raisins as a snack and they had a bazaar so I managed to finish my chocolate and bought some organic chocolate and kale chips, which were actually tasty.
Overall I enjoyed myself even though I didn't do too much socializing.
I decided to take a week off and participate in a kundalini yoga winter solstice event. It takes place in Florida so it was a chance for me to get some sunlight and take a spiritual vacation as well.
I was tired a lot as 3 of the days were spent doing white tantric yoga where we have a partner. In the mornings we did 3 62 minute meditations and the afternoon was around 2 62 minutes meditations and maybe one or 2 31 minute meditations. There were slight variations during the 3 days with the number of meditations we were doing. We did different ones too and didn't repeat them. Most of them involved locking eyes with our partner. I noticed by the end of the last meditation that I felt pain more on my right side. According to yogic philosophy, the right side is the male energy and left is female so right is about giving and left is about receiving. I might have to work on being more giving and clearing the blocks. I'll probably ask the email group I am in about this to get some more experienced perspective. I heard some people experienced a lot of emotions coming up during the first day but for me, since I did a lot of clearing at home this year, I didn't have that sort of experience. I probably felt more physical pain rather then emotional pain. My mind was fairly calm during the 3 days. After the first day I had a pain in my right hip and on the third day during a meditation some pain was experienced around my right shoulder. They were offering workshops during the rest of the days and in one workshop, I noticed again there was some pain and discomfort on my right shoulder area.
At the end of the tantric portion, I felt I had to really muster my strength to do the second last meditation as the last one just involved holding our partner's hand so that was easy. I felt at the 2nd last one while on break, the concept of 'all for one and one for all'.
I feel pretty good now and had a great time. I think with all the kriyas and meditations we did, it'll take a few days to process all that energy. I really liked it since the week before Christmas, people get all stressed about buying gifts and they waste so much energy on materialism when this time of year (the winter solstice) has so much spiritual energy. It's too bad people are not sensitive to that but get suckered into the nonsense.
I sent out a lot of resumes the week before I left so I saw that someone called me so I will have to call them back to arrange for an interview.
I miss the sun though. It's dark here in Hamilton as I am staying at le Hotel Parents and there's some snow here. But it's good to be back in 'civilization'
There was the option of camping in a tent or staying in a cabin but I chose to tent it. It was cold at night but my sleeping bag was warm once I realized that if I put my blanket inside my bag, it would help. The first night I had my blanket over my bag and I think the heat is retained better once it was inside.
The next day after we finished the 3 days of white tantric yoga, a woman who was tenting near me was yelling at I am guessing her boyfriend. I guess work like this can bring out stuff you don't want to deal with and she was basically complaining about the relationship and called him an asshole. I was laughing a bit to myself as I thought this was not really the appropriate way to handle your anger, especially in a spiritual environment. I didn't hear the man yell back...
I had thought if he's an asshole, then why are you with him? Take responsibility for your choice in a man.
They have a summer solstice event in New Mexico and usually more people show up, usually over 2000 people. Here there was probably around 500.
As an introvert, I found it hard to socialize as there was so many people it's overwhelming. I met one woman from my previous retreat in Atlanta so I was more chatty with her. I think if I were to see these people again I might open up more. The conversation usually was just about where are you from, how long have you been doing kundalini. Nothing really too deep.
You have to do 'karma' yoga as well to help out and mine was being a veggie chopper. I managed to survive a week without internet, Nutella and no meat. I had thought I had an internet addiction but I guess it's just a habit since I can survive without it. We had a special Christmas eve dinner. On the white tantric days we got a vegetarian burger so that was a nice change. We basically ate the same foods every day. Breakfast was a soup made with onions, potatoes and celery. Dinner was mung beans, hot sauce (basically something made with onions), beets (which I didn't eat) and salad. Lunch was quinoa tabuleh and potatoes.
I brought chocolate raisins as a snack and they had a bazaar so I managed to finish my chocolate and bought some organic chocolate and kale chips, which were actually tasty.
Overall I enjoyed myself even though I didn't do too much socializing.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Men
Greetings all,
More thoughts on men from me. I think this was the year I was hoping to find the right man and it looks like that didn't happen. When I thought about it, it bothered me. How many years have I been wanting to find the right man and it doesn't happen? I just think now I don't care anymore. I don't know if that's a sign of maturity or a sign that I just don't think it will happen.
I don't have a lot of guys after me and it makes me wonder. I mean, I know I am good looking and I think I'm great but you would think that would translate into having a lot of suitors, which is not the case for me. Some people seem surprised I am single but I'm not desperate and am not just going to settle. Sometimes I think I should but it's not really my style.
I'm just trying to listen to my intuition but I am not getting any clear signals. I think I am wasting my time on on-line dating and I doubt I will be successful but I will try anyways. I am least want to feel like I am doing something and being proactive.
More thoughts on men from me. I think this was the year I was hoping to find the right man and it looks like that didn't happen. When I thought about it, it bothered me. How many years have I been wanting to find the right man and it doesn't happen? I just think now I don't care anymore. I don't know if that's a sign of maturity or a sign that I just don't think it will happen.
I don't have a lot of guys after me and it makes me wonder. I mean, I know I am good looking and I think I'm great but you would think that would translate into having a lot of suitors, which is not the case for me. Some people seem surprised I am single but I'm not desperate and am not just going to settle. Sometimes I think I should but it's not really my style.
I'm just trying to listen to my intuition but I am not getting any clear signals. I think I am wasting my time on on-line dating and I doubt I will be successful but I will try anyways. I am least want to feel like I am doing something and being proactive.
Parents
Greetings all,
My parents annoy me. I had went down to visit them this weekend as we had a family lunch in honour of my grandma who passed away since we would usually get together on her birthday and celebrate Christmas as a family with my aunt and uncle and my 2 cousins and their family.
I as well had a sleep study done which I didn't like. My doctor is making me take this since I have went back in September to see her about feeling sleepy. I had blood work done and do have low iron. I know it's seasonal affective disorder since I feel normal around March since the days are getting longer again.
First of all, the sleep clinic called me a few weeks before the appointment but they never left a message. I thought this was strange since no one called to confirm my appointment the week before. When I got there they said I wasn't on the list. I had told them that no one left a message, I just saw they called. Their notes said someone left a message. Obviously this means that someone didn't do their job!
Luckily there was a bed available for me. I had to wait quite a while before the technician started getting me ready. I had all these wires hooked up to my head and then I had one wire on each leg and two on my chest. I had some piece on my left index finger which measures oxygen levels. I get some nose test shoved up my nose and then I get some mic attached tot check if I snore.
Now I normally sleep at midnight and wake up at 8. I think I went to bed by 11 and I would be woken up by 6. I don't know how long it took me to fall asleep but I woke up probably around 5. I didn't know what time it was as I was trying to get back to sleep but then the technician came in to wake me up.
We had to fill out a questionnaire and one of the questions was how was your sleep, was it better or worse then usual. I wrote that yes my sleep was worse than usual but it was because of all the wires. How can you sleep like that?
I won't find out for a few weeks what the results are. I was asking my technician about the job and I find it ironic that they work nights and can't sleep in order to test our sleeping.
Anyways, this brings me back to my parents and how they annoy me. I stayed with my parents another night and for supper my mother made ravioli soup. I was eating my salad and continued to use my fork to eat the soup. My mother was getting upset at me and wondered why I wasn't using a spoon. I said, what's the big deal as ravioli is something you can eat with a fork or spoon. She was saying how I need to drink the broth with a spoon and then I said I can just drink from the bowl. Then somehow this conversation led to how my mother thinks I am difficult and that I can't get along with people.
I challenged her conventional belief and I still don't know how we got onto this topic. I mean, really why can't she just accept that this was how I chose to eat my soup in this moment of time. She had to be a brat and comment on it.
I frankly would not want to be with a man like my mother. I want to be accepted for who I am not lectured or made to feel bad all because of how I eat my soup. How trivial! Here I am trying to understand the world and what kind of contribution I can make to society and she demonstrates this petty mentality.
My dad as well complains that I don't eat enough vegetables. All the time. Hey I eat what I want to eat. Then he complains about the holes I have in my socks. Some of my socks have developed holes and I have taken my sweet time in getting rid of them mainly because I don't like throwing things out.
I don't nag them like they nag me. I don't like how my mother is obsessed with food and acquiring food books. I don't nag my dad about the smoking that he does and how he should quit or how he watches too much tv.
We all know nagging doesn't work. And when you nag it just means you don't accept the person for whom they are. I guess I will have to nag them about how they nag too much.
My parents annoy me. I had went down to visit them this weekend as we had a family lunch in honour of my grandma who passed away since we would usually get together on her birthday and celebrate Christmas as a family with my aunt and uncle and my 2 cousins and their family.
I as well had a sleep study done which I didn't like. My doctor is making me take this since I have went back in September to see her about feeling sleepy. I had blood work done and do have low iron. I know it's seasonal affective disorder since I feel normal around March since the days are getting longer again.
First of all, the sleep clinic called me a few weeks before the appointment but they never left a message. I thought this was strange since no one called to confirm my appointment the week before. When I got there they said I wasn't on the list. I had told them that no one left a message, I just saw they called. Their notes said someone left a message. Obviously this means that someone didn't do their job!
Luckily there was a bed available for me. I had to wait quite a while before the technician started getting me ready. I had all these wires hooked up to my head and then I had one wire on each leg and two on my chest. I had some piece on my left index finger which measures oxygen levels. I get some nose test shoved up my nose and then I get some mic attached tot check if I snore.
Now I normally sleep at midnight and wake up at 8. I think I went to bed by 11 and I would be woken up by 6. I don't know how long it took me to fall asleep but I woke up probably around 5. I didn't know what time it was as I was trying to get back to sleep but then the technician came in to wake me up.
We had to fill out a questionnaire and one of the questions was how was your sleep, was it better or worse then usual. I wrote that yes my sleep was worse than usual but it was because of all the wires. How can you sleep like that?
I won't find out for a few weeks what the results are. I was asking my technician about the job and I find it ironic that they work nights and can't sleep in order to test our sleeping.
Anyways, this brings me back to my parents and how they annoy me. I stayed with my parents another night and for supper my mother made ravioli soup. I was eating my salad and continued to use my fork to eat the soup. My mother was getting upset at me and wondered why I wasn't using a spoon. I said, what's the big deal as ravioli is something you can eat with a fork or spoon. She was saying how I need to drink the broth with a spoon and then I said I can just drink from the bowl. Then somehow this conversation led to how my mother thinks I am difficult and that I can't get along with people.
I challenged her conventional belief and I still don't know how we got onto this topic. I mean, really why can't she just accept that this was how I chose to eat my soup in this moment of time. She had to be a brat and comment on it.
I frankly would not want to be with a man like my mother. I want to be accepted for who I am not lectured or made to feel bad all because of how I eat my soup. How trivial! Here I am trying to understand the world and what kind of contribution I can make to society and she demonstrates this petty mentality.
My dad as well complains that I don't eat enough vegetables. All the time. Hey I eat what I want to eat. Then he complains about the holes I have in my socks. Some of my socks have developed holes and I have taken my sweet time in getting rid of them mainly because I don't like throwing things out.
I don't nag them like they nag me. I don't like how my mother is obsessed with food and acquiring food books. I don't nag my dad about the smoking that he does and how he should quit or how he watches too much tv.
We all know nagging doesn't work. And when you nag it just means you don't accept the person for whom they are. I guess I will have to nag them about how they nag too much.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Eharmony
Greetings all,
I am back on eharmony, although just for 3 months. I noticed they had a 3 month special so I thought I'd try it again since I did meet someone whom I liked although it never went anywhere since he lived in England and didn't seem serious about wanting a relationship. I know on the site there are people who start out long distance and it works out so I decided to not limit my search. Most of my matches are local anyways. So far no dates yet.
I've had a few people close me out and it does suck to be rejected. I am the woman, I am the one who is supposed to reject!
Some guys I thought maybe would be interesting to meet but they would close me as a match. I wonder if some of them are making a mistake by judging so prematurely. How can you really be certain that you are picking the right people online? How do you know if you are rejecting someone who might be right for you?
I've tried online dating for so long and I know it does work. I am okay with being alone and I think I just don't care anymore if I find someone. I'm not really sure if I feel negative about my chances about finding the right person
I am back on eharmony, although just for 3 months. I noticed they had a 3 month special so I thought I'd try it again since I did meet someone whom I liked although it never went anywhere since he lived in England and didn't seem serious about wanting a relationship. I know on the site there are people who start out long distance and it works out so I decided to not limit my search. Most of my matches are local anyways. So far no dates yet.
I've had a few people close me out and it does suck to be rejected. I am the woman, I am the one who is supposed to reject!
Some guys I thought maybe would be interesting to meet but they would close me as a match. I wonder if some of them are making a mistake by judging so prematurely. How can you really be certain that you are picking the right people online? How do you know if you are rejecting someone who might be right for you?
I've tried online dating for so long and I know it does work. I am okay with being alone and I think I just don't care anymore if I find someone. I'm not really sure if I feel negative about my chances about finding the right person
Let's Get Physical
Greetings all,
I noticed when I took advantage of my free week at a fitness center for women that it made me feel better doing some cardio and physical workouts. I enjoy doing kundalini and it definitely has some physical benefits but doing more high intensity workouts gave me a bit of a boost.
My seasonal affective disorder is making me so sleepy that at 1.30 I was yawning. I think I was still sleepy when I worked out but at least I felt a bit energized.
I think I've decided that I'll take advantage of other gyms that offer group classes like zumba or cardio. So far the few I've looked at give you a 7 day trial or a 3 day so I think I will try that since I have to watch my money since I am still looking for work.
* * *
Last week I had a job interview so it's been my second in my search. Tomorrow I have a phone interview with another company so we will see how that happens. I am so bored with myself so I just want to work again and have more money coming in.
I noticed when I took advantage of my free week at a fitness center for women that it made me feel better doing some cardio and physical workouts. I enjoy doing kundalini and it definitely has some physical benefits but doing more high intensity workouts gave me a bit of a boost.
My seasonal affective disorder is making me so sleepy that at 1.30 I was yawning. I think I was still sleepy when I worked out but at least I felt a bit energized.
I think I've decided that I'll take advantage of other gyms that offer group classes like zumba or cardio. So far the few I've looked at give you a 7 day trial or a 3 day so I think I will try that since I have to watch my money since I am still looking for work.
Last week I had a job interview so it's been my second in my search. Tomorrow I have a phone interview with another company so we will see how that happens. I am so bored with myself so I just want to work again and have more money coming in.
Saturday, December 04, 2010
The Boards
Greetings all,
I'm sure I've written about how I am on some board for women to talk about relationships. I think I have mentioned there were primarily 2 people who seemed to get everyone the most riled up and seem to be the rudest. They happen to be good friends as well on the board so they haven't turned against each other.
I probably am more sympathetic to one of them as I think she is probably more intelligent and so I am less offended by her whereas the other to me seems like a red neck. She has bragged at one time that she slept with so many famous musicians when she was young as she was a groupie and she was quite proud of this 'accomplishment'. Frankly I don't understand why banging so many men is an accomplishment because it's not. Just because they are famous doesn't mean anything. If you follow them around enough they'll give in just because you're there, not because you are special.
This woman annoys me the most. I guess my previous post was about another woman who lives in England. These 2 live in Texas (although not originally from there) so it just reinforces all the negative stereotypes we Canadians have of Americans (namely they are dumb and violent, which is not always the case).
She recently put up a post apologizing to people on the board. I initially thought it was a bogus apology but didn't say anything for a few days. I had enough of her posts and didn't see a change and had to comment. As well there was previous discussion about getting a moderator and since these 2 people are primarily the trouble makers, I had figured the woman who owns the board probably spoke to them and she just posted the apology as a good faith act to show that she isn't a complete bitch.
Lo and behold, all these people comment on this thread and my one 'negative' comment lead to much discussion, which I hadn't followed. I guess I am assuming I stirred the pot. I think I am entitled to expressing my opinion if I think an apology is a bogus one. I think it's more important to act sorry and change your behaviour. How many politicians apologize and it's meaningless? In improv a rule is: show me don't tell me.
This woman to me, has to show us she is sorry. Words don't mean anything. I think I have the right to be skeptical towards her. I have good reason. I have seen how nasty and pompous she can be on the boards. People just need to accept the fact that when you apologize, maybe not everyone is going to accept it. It's their right. You as the apologizer have to accept this and keep on living your life and maybe they will turn around and start believing you. I only trust people when I see their actions match their words. When I don't see the actions match the words, I don't give them anything. They are not worth my energy. People seem to forget that they have to earn respect. You can't abuse people and then suddenly think they will forgive you if you say a few little words. Words hurt. Sometimes people say, oh it's just a board. As true as that it, there are people behind these boards. Some are being real and others just use it as a place to hide.
I am starting to wonder why I go on the boards. In my real life, I have no drama and make no excuses for drama. But here there is some drama and I try to not engage in it but sometimes I just have to speak out about what I perceive is crossing the line or bullshit.
Lately, I have been having a hard time with my seasonal affective disorder and being out of work so I am more prone to irritableness but there is a difference between someone being a nice person with bitchy moments and someone who is a bitch with nice moments. I think I am the former and the other woman, the later.
I will have to think about what I get out of that board. I just don't understand some of the cattiness. I know I've been annoyed by some people but I really see an injustice and so have to speak out.
I'm sure I've written about how I am on some board for women to talk about relationships. I think I have mentioned there were primarily 2 people who seemed to get everyone the most riled up and seem to be the rudest. They happen to be good friends as well on the board so they haven't turned against each other.
I probably am more sympathetic to one of them as I think she is probably more intelligent and so I am less offended by her whereas the other to me seems like a red neck. She has bragged at one time that she slept with so many famous musicians when she was young as she was a groupie and she was quite proud of this 'accomplishment'. Frankly I don't understand why banging so many men is an accomplishment because it's not. Just because they are famous doesn't mean anything. If you follow them around enough they'll give in just because you're there, not because you are special.
This woman annoys me the most. I guess my previous post was about another woman who lives in England. These 2 live in Texas (although not originally from there) so it just reinforces all the negative stereotypes we Canadians have of Americans (namely they are dumb and violent, which is not always the case).
She recently put up a post apologizing to people on the board. I initially thought it was a bogus apology but didn't say anything for a few days. I had enough of her posts and didn't see a change and had to comment. As well there was previous discussion about getting a moderator and since these 2 people are primarily the trouble makers, I had figured the woman who owns the board probably spoke to them and she just posted the apology as a good faith act to show that she isn't a complete bitch.
Lo and behold, all these people comment on this thread and my one 'negative' comment lead to much discussion, which I hadn't followed. I guess I am assuming I stirred the pot. I think I am entitled to expressing my opinion if I think an apology is a bogus one. I think it's more important to act sorry and change your behaviour. How many politicians apologize and it's meaningless? In improv a rule is: show me don't tell me.
This woman to me, has to show us she is sorry. Words don't mean anything. I think I have the right to be skeptical towards her. I have good reason. I have seen how nasty and pompous she can be on the boards. People just need to accept the fact that when you apologize, maybe not everyone is going to accept it. It's their right. You as the apologizer have to accept this and keep on living your life and maybe they will turn around and start believing you. I only trust people when I see their actions match their words. When I don't see the actions match the words, I don't give them anything. They are not worth my energy. People seem to forget that they have to earn respect. You can't abuse people and then suddenly think they will forgive you if you say a few little words. Words hurt. Sometimes people say, oh it's just a board. As true as that it, there are people behind these boards. Some are being real and others just use it as a place to hide.
I am starting to wonder why I go on the boards. In my real life, I have no drama and make no excuses for drama. But here there is some drama and I try to not engage in it but sometimes I just have to speak out about what I perceive is crossing the line or bullshit.
Lately, I have been having a hard time with my seasonal affective disorder and being out of work so I am more prone to irritableness but there is a difference between someone being a nice person with bitchy moments and someone who is a bitch with nice moments. I think I am the former and the other woman, the later.
I will have to think about what I get out of that board. I just don't understand some of the cattiness. I know I've been annoyed by some people but I really see an injustice and so have to speak out.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Deserted
Greetings all,
I have had another rough week. I am getting tired of job searching and I am losing faith that my life will ever improve. In other words, I feel deserted. I feel like the universe has abandoned me. I have not heard from any employer for an interview. Nothing from temp agencies. Just this silence.
I applied for the Toronto Fringe festival but I never got a spot. I should take this as a sign that I should just quit. Why bother trying anymore?
I hate my ex-boss for letting me go. Am I just singled out because I'm single? Do they think it's easier for a single person to be unemployed then someone with a family? Because it's not. At least if I had a family, I'd have a husband to support me emotionally and mentally. On my own, I just have me and I have not much to give.
What do you want from me world? Why does my life meet with constant frustration? Why are others leading better lives? Why am I living in poverty? When will my needs be met?
I have had another rough week. I am getting tired of job searching and I am losing faith that my life will ever improve. In other words, I feel deserted. I feel like the universe has abandoned me. I have not heard from any employer for an interview. Nothing from temp agencies. Just this silence.
I applied for the Toronto Fringe festival but I never got a spot. I should take this as a sign that I should just quit. Why bother trying anymore?
I hate my ex-boss for letting me go. Am I just singled out because I'm single? Do they think it's easier for a single person to be unemployed then someone with a family? Because it's not. At least if I had a family, I'd have a husband to support me emotionally and mentally. On my own, I just have me and I have not much to give.
What do you want from me world? Why does my life meet with constant frustration? Why are others leading better lives? Why am I living in poverty? When will my needs be met?
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