Greetings all,
I went to my first hot yoga class and I was sweating up a storm thanks to the heat. I don't think I've ever sweated so much in my life. I've tried the infra-red saunas and sweat a bit in them but this was a lot.
I didn't bring a towel, which I should have because it would have been easier to do some poses. The yoga itself was not challenging because I've done yoga before. The balancing poses were challenging, but then they usually are. I had a challenge doing eagle pose because my leg was so sweaty and it made it difficult to wrap my leg around the standing one. Usually I have no problem with this pose as once I wrap my leg firmly, I can stay in it but my leg kept slipping and I had to not go so tightly into it.
Hot yoga also helps with making it easier to bend and be flexible since the heat helps. We were doing side bends and I managed to go very low when bending to my right and I think the heat helped. I went further down then I normally do.
I have 9 more sessions. Not sure if this would be something to do regularly but I think once and a while would be good for purification. I think Kundalini yoga has been the most useful yoga. They should offer it in the heat.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Greetings all,
After I had deleted my profile, all my threads and posts were deleted. I had a popular thread that was called Woe is Me: the Self Pity thread. It basically is what it is. A thread to whine and feel sorry for yourself as I think sometimes you just need to take that time for yourself to do that and get it out of your system.
Well one of the women that didn't like me created a new thread (I have been lurking on the site) that is a continuation of that one. But she basically started insulting me on that thread. Apparently she said I 'drove' off one of her friends and was criticizing her for being dyslexic. That isn't something I would do. I would criticize someone for other reasons, but not for dyslexia. I am sure there was some misunderstanding, which commonly happens on the board. This person should have messaged me or asked for clarification on the thread. They just aren't communicating effectively and then get mad at people. If you think someone is attacking you, why don't you ask for clarification. Maybe they weren't doing so intentionally.
Anyways, the other jackals who were rude to me on my goodbye thread were rude on this thread. It wasn't a self pity thread, it was a thread to continue to attack me. These are women in their 40s and frankly this is quite lame on their parts. It was just their final opportunity to get their digs into me.
I am glad to be gone from there and am just lurking, although not so much. I think my attention needs to be directed to more positive means.
* * *
Anyways, my ex-roommate has blocked me on facebook but she didn't block my boyfriend, so I took a peak at her profile and apparently she changed her name. Her first and last name is completely different and she now lives in Kamloops BC and is working again as a waitress. I don't know why she would change her name. I think because she is trying to run away from her problems and sometimes people think by changing their name, they will fix the problem. When I think about her, I think of how unhappy she was as a person. She maybe had the occasion moment of happiness but she was a bit of a drama queen and always so reactive and angry about stuff. I've been in that part of BC and I know there is a lot of nature. Maybe this will be a calming environment for her because she really needs to do her inner work and look at her emotions. Or maybe it won't be. I don't know, but how can you be an angry person and live in BC with all the nature and trees? I can't fathom living in that environment and not be affected by it on some level. I know she likes to snowboard so maybe that is why she went there. She never mentioned BC when living with me.
* * *
I've decided to do the morning sadhana at the ashram. They do it every day and it starts at 4 am and ends at 6.30 am. They do yoga and mantra. The reason for doing it so early is because this is a spiritually ripe time and it is ideal for tapping into the universal energy. I'm going to try it this Friday as this past month I have felt the urge to go and try it so I guess I must follow the urges of my soul.
I attended a sadhana when I went to Florida for the Winter Solstice but that was because I arrived at the site after 9 and so we had the option of setting our tent up in the dark or stay in the Fire Tent. I stayed in the Fire tent which is where they were doing the sadhana. So it woke me up and I slept through half of it but people say that even if you fall asleep, you benefit from the energy.
Anyways, we'll see how I like it and maybe I can go more often.
* * *
They have these things for getting discounts online. You can learn of one called Groupon at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groupon. I got a package for 10 hot yoga sessions so tonight I will go to one class and see how it goes. I'm not sure how I'll handle the heat but I will wear shorts, which means I have to prepare my legs this afternoon as I am a hairy beast.
After I had deleted my profile, all my threads and posts were deleted. I had a popular thread that was called Woe is Me: the Self Pity thread. It basically is what it is. A thread to whine and feel sorry for yourself as I think sometimes you just need to take that time for yourself to do that and get it out of your system.
Well one of the women that didn't like me created a new thread (I have been lurking on the site) that is a continuation of that one. But she basically started insulting me on that thread. Apparently she said I 'drove' off one of her friends and was criticizing her for being dyslexic. That isn't something I would do. I would criticize someone for other reasons, but not for dyslexia. I am sure there was some misunderstanding, which commonly happens on the board. This person should have messaged me or asked for clarification on the thread. They just aren't communicating effectively and then get mad at people. If you think someone is attacking you, why don't you ask for clarification. Maybe they weren't doing so intentionally.
Anyways, the other jackals who were rude to me on my goodbye thread were rude on this thread. It wasn't a self pity thread, it was a thread to continue to attack me. These are women in their 40s and frankly this is quite lame on their parts. It was just their final opportunity to get their digs into me.
I am glad to be gone from there and am just lurking, although not so much. I think my attention needs to be directed to more positive means.
I created a second facebook account for this little toy my friend has. It's the character from super mario brothers. I've decided to make him my boyfriend because I've been wanting to be in a relationship for so long on facebook but that never happened and I thought this character would be a good boyfriend. Here's what my new boyfriend looks like:
Anyways, my ex-roommate has blocked me on facebook but she didn't block my boyfriend, so I took a peak at her profile and apparently she changed her name. Her first and last name is completely different and she now lives in Kamloops BC and is working again as a waitress. I don't know why she would change her name. I think because she is trying to run away from her problems and sometimes people think by changing their name, they will fix the problem. When I think about her, I think of how unhappy she was as a person. She maybe had the occasion moment of happiness but she was a bit of a drama queen and always so reactive and angry about stuff. I've been in that part of BC and I know there is a lot of nature. Maybe this will be a calming environment for her because she really needs to do her inner work and look at her emotions. Or maybe it won't be. I don't know, but how can you be an angry person and live in BC with all the nature and trees? I can't fathom living in that environment and not be affected by it on some level. I know she likes to snowboard so maybe that is why she went there. She never mentioned BC when living with me.
I've decided to do the morning sadhana at the ashram. They do it every day and it starts at 4 am and ends at 6.30 am. They do yoga and mantra. The reason for doing it so early is because this is a spiritually ripe time and it is ideal for tapping into the universal energy. I'm going to try it this Friday as this past month I have felt the urge to go and try it so I guess I must follow the urges of my soul.
I attended a sadhana when I went to Florida for the Winter Solstice but that was because I arrived at the site after 9 and so we had the option of setting our tent up in the dark or stay in the Fire Tent. I stayed in the Fire tent which is where they were doing the sadhana. So it woke me up and I slept through half of it but people say that even if you fall asleep, you benefit from the energy.
Anyways, we'll see how I like it and maybe I can go more often.
They have these things for getting discounts online. You can learn of one called Groupon at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groupon. I got a package for 10 hot yoga sessions so tonight I will go to one class and see how it goes. I'm not sure how I'll handle the heat but I will wear shorts, which means I have to prepare my legs this afternoon as I am a hairy beast.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Bitches Be Crazy!
Greetings all,
Today I decided to delete my account for the forum that I am on that is primarily for women to discuss dating, relationships and men. I left a positive goodbye. No insulting or really going into the real reasons why I am leaving. Basically said that I enjoyed meeting some in real life as a few came to Toronto and I went to New York to see those who lived there. I said that I felt I had learned all that I could and felt I had nothing to contribute. I ended with the closing that is commonly done in kundalini yoga, which is: may the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on, guide your way on, guide your way on.
Now some people were civilized and politely said goodbyes but a few were petty and insulting. Some said I was brash and tried to give me feedback. I didn't ask for feedback, mainly because I don't think I need it. One woman was rude enough to say that I need to work on being compassionate so that I could be happy. This was the woman who had a problem with my post about Failed Marriages. I think I am a fairly compassionate person. Another woman said I need to see a counsellor to work on my social skills. Now these people were not saying these things to me because they cared about me. They only said these things to hurt me and were acting petty. I am not brash or harsh. I am a rational, logical and opinionated woman and so maybe they perceive me as cold but I am not. I am not irrational (at least not that often) nor am I an emotional basket case. I am pretty solid emotionally. Not perfect but certainly not as dysfunctional as some on the board.
The way I look at it, these women who didn't have the class to give me a polite goodbye or say nothing at all, have proven to me that this is not a healthy environment.
Recently on the boards, 2 other people left. One left because moderators were put in place and she didn't like the idea of that since it was like we were being policed. The other left because she was not wanting to be in this toxic environment.
There definitely is 2 different classes of women on that board. The good kind and the bitches. Crazy bitches. I talked with the woman who left the board last week, as I met her when she came to Toronto and I visited her in New York. She is very New York and she is quite the character. She's like many New Yorkers, tough on the outside but generous towards people. We had talked today about why she left and why I was thinking of leaving. She told me she read my Failed Marriage post and didn't see anything offensive about it and read it several times. They are just projecting their own issues rather then seeing how it might apply to me. I thought I would be polite and put a goodbye post instead of just deleting my account and its post all together. As mentioned in a previous post, I had told her I felt like I have been over defending myself. Which to me means people are attacking me and not trying to understand me. If people do that to me, maybe it's not me with the problem but the others. I was saying some of these people are really dysfunctional so they can't see where I am coming from because they think they are being attacked when really I am just pointing out what is not right. As well, some people enjoy hurting people. I don't. I do not sugarcoat things but I try to be helpful with people. I don't get off on calling a woman insecure. I want people to wake up and realize that they are the ones that are creating their problems.
Truthfully some people are not ready to change and really are not at the level of others. Some are just too dysfunctional and frankly I can't help these people. If you aren't willing to take responsibility for your life and your personality and your character, then no one can really help you.
I really can't justify my time there. I am just so mad at the reactions of others. Truly sad. But then they just criticize me. What people like that typically do, is they use the jargon from the personal growth community and apply it to others to sound smart. The truth is, I walk the walk and they are merely talking the talk to others. Don't tell me I need to develop compassion when you are miserable. Don't tell me how to act or how to be. I am who I am.
Today I decided to delete my account for the forum that I am on that is primarily for women to discuss dating, relationships and men. I left a positive goodbye. No insulting or really going into the real reasons why I am leaving. Basically said that I enjoyed meeting some in real life as a few came to Toronto and I went to New York to see those who lived there. I said that I felt I had learned all that I could and felt I had nothing to contribute. I ended with the closing that is commonly done in kundalini yoga, which is: may the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on, guide your way on, guide your way on.
Now some people were civilized and politely said goodbyes but a few were petty and insulting. Some said I was brash and tried to give me feedback. I didn't ask for feedback, mainly because I don't think I need it. One woman was rude enough to say that I need to work on being compassionate so that I could be happy. This was the woman who had a problem with my post about Failed Marriages. I think I am a fairly compassionate person. Another woman said I need to see a counsellor to work on my social skills. Now these people were not saying these things to me because they cared about me. They only said these things to hurt me and were acting petty. I am not brash or harsh. I am a rational, logical and opinionated woman and so maybe they perceive me as cold but I am not. I am not irrational (at least not that often) nor am I an emotional basket case. I am pretty solid emotionally. Not perfect but certainly not as dysfunctional as some on the board.
The way I look at it, these women who didn't have the class to give me a polite goodbye or say nothing at all, have proven to me that this is not a healthy environment.
Recently on the boards, 2 other people left. One left because moderators were put in place and she didn't like the idea of that since it was like we were being policed. The other left because she was not wanting to be in this toxic environment.
There definitely is 2 different classes of women on that board. The good kind and the bitches. Crazy bitches. I talked with the woman who left the board last week, as I met her when she came to Toronto and I visited her in New York. She is very New York and she is quite the character. She's like many New Yorkers, tough on the outside but generous towards people. We had talked today about why she left and why I was thinking of leaving. She told me she read my Failed Marriage post and didn't see anything offensive about it and read it several times. They are just projecting their own issues rather then seeing how it might apply to me. I thought I would be polite and put a goodbye post instead of just deleting my account and its post all together. As mentioned in a previous post, I had told her I felt like I have been over defending myself. Which to me means people are attacking me and not trying to understand me. If people do that to me, maybe it's not me with the problem but the others. I was saying some of these people are really dysfunctional so they can't see where I am coming from because they think they are being attacked when really I am just pointing out what is not right. As well, some people enjoy hurting people. I don't. I do not sugarcoat things but I try to be helpful with people. I don't get off on calling a woman insecure. I want people to wake up and realize that they are the ones that are creating their problems.
Truthfully some people are not ready to change and really are not at the level of others. Some are just too dysfunctional and frankly I can't help these people. If you aren't willing to take responsibility for your life and your personality and your character, then no one can really help you.
I really can't justify my time there. I am just so mad at the reactions of others. Truly sad. But then they just criticize me. What people like that typically do, is they use the jargon from the personal growth community and apply it to others to sound smart. The truth is, I walk the walk and they are merely talking the talk to others. Don't tell me I need to develop compassion when you are miserable. Don't tell me how to act or how to be. I am who I am.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Gifts From the Heart
Greetings all,
My mother notified me last week that there is a group of dental hygienists that take one day of the year to do free dental cleaning fro those without dental benefits. They do this in various cities in Ontario and in Alberta. You can learn about it here.
The day was on Saturday February 12. There was only one place in Toronto and they were doing the cleanings on Sunday so I booked on appointment. I was very grateful to have learned about this because with my last job, I didn't get benefits as I was on contract. I had benefits with the job before that and so had my teeth cleaned on July 2008. My teeth bled a lot as I tend to get minor gingivitis. They always tell you the same thing. Clean and floss daily. I have a wire on the back of my front teeth because I used to wear braces and so it keeps the teeth from moving out of alignment. So I have to floss because I tend to get food stuff in between my teeth, especially when I eat applies. But I don't do it every day, maybe a few times a week. It's annoying to use floss threaders, which is what I need to floss the teeth that have the wire.
I was appreciative towards the hygienist and it really meant a lot to me that there are people out there who do this because I think with the way some business' run, they just don't care about their employees and many people don't get benefits, which I think are essential. The teeth are important and taking care of them to me is just as vital as going to the doctor. Perhaps we'll have socialized dentistry like we do with health care.
I've only had one job where I got benefits and so was used to paying for my cleanings out of my own pocket.
They want to make more people aware of the number of people who don't have dental care and I hope their cause gets more awareness because companies need to start providing this if the government doesn't. I think it's a right that everyone has access to teeth care.
My mother notified me last week that there is a group of dental hygienists that take one day of the year to do free dental cleaning fro those without dental benefits. They do this in various cities in Ontario and in Alberta. You can learn about it here.
The day was on Saturday February 12. There was only one place in Toronto and they were doing the cleanings on Sunday so I booked on appointment. I was very grateful to have learned about this because with my last job, I didn't get benefits as I was on contract. I had benefits with the job before that and so had my teeth cleaned on July 2008. My teeth bled a lot as I tend to get minor gingivitis. They always tell you the same thing. Clean and floss daily. I have a wire on the back of my front teeth because I used to wear braces and so it keeps the teeth from moving out of alignment. So I have to floss because I tend to get food stuff in between my teeth, especially when I eat applies. But I don't do it every day, maybe a few times a week. It's annoying to use floss threaders, which is what I need to floss the teeth that have the wire.
I was appreciative towards the hygienist and it really meant a lot to me that there are people out there who do this because I think with the way some business' run, they just don't care about their employees and many people don't get benefits, which I think are essential. The teeth are important and taking care of them to me is just as vital as going to the doctor. Perhaps we'll have socialized dentistry like we do with health care.
I've only had one job where I got benefits and so was used to paying for my cleanings out of my own pocket.
They want to make more people aware of the number of people who don't have dental care and I hope their cause gets more awareness because companies need to start providing this if the government doesn't. I think it's a right that everyone has access to teeth care.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Greetings all,
I had posted my previous post at the Relationship board that I visit and it seemed to cause some controversy. Some people didn't have an issue with it, but others have, namely those who I think it applies to. It's interesting because my intention was to point out the negative filter some people have about marriage. I frankly think it's disgusting and I for one am fed up of it.
I never said there was something wrong with people who get divorced. Hey it happens but like with everything else in life, you have to take responsibility for it and learn from the experience. Usually people who chose to not take responsibility and deny their emotional responsibility are the bitter and angry ones. I know dealing with pain isn't easy but everyone has to learn to grow up and learn emotional self control and self management.
I didn't comment on my post for a week but someone attacked me on another thread saying it was caustic and that I probably am too chicken to go back to it. The thing is I had my Sat Nam Rasayan workshop on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I had a lot to process emotionally and energetically. I know responding would acquire more thought which I wasn't ready yet to do but after a week I did.
The essence of what I was expressing was that people need to accept their feelings of failure because that is what makes them negative towards something. As well, you can substitute any word for marriage in my post and it would still be applicable because usually when someone 'fails', they are bitter towards that thing. If they succeeded, they obviously wouldn't have the negative filter. I guess I have the tendency to make intuitive leaps but I think I was very insightful.
As well, I had my own experience of failure when I hit 30 and realized my feelings of failure in meditation. I think some people say they don't have these feelings, but I truthfully feel that they are not digging deep enough into themselves because this experience I had, I know in my heart is universal. Failure is just a feeling and when you learn from it and release, you can move forward in your life.
I started commenting on the thread but I started to feel like I was over defending myself so now I haven't been on the boards for 2 days. A woman I met from New York recently quit the boards for reasons she didn't really have time to explain to me yet but for me, I am starting to wonder why do I go there. It was useful in the beginning since I had questions about my dating issues. I don't really post my issues, since I don't think I have any since I'm pretty aware of what to do and I just post my dating escapades, even though there is very little of that going on.
I don't think some people take their inner work as seriously as I do. I use kundalini yoga and meditation on a daily basis. Most of these people don't have some tool. One uses EFT. I know that if you want to really change, you have to find a tool that helps you tap into your emotions and subconscious garbage. We all know stuff intellectually but the problem is in the emotional realm so you can't use the intellect to change an emotional problem.
There are some decent people on the board who I think are successful and a few are married or in serious relationships. Some conversations are insightful.
We recently had someone organize a thread where we anonymously submit positive things to say about members. I actually didn't like some of what was said about me. The two people who are the bullies on the board, had nicer things said about them. Now I don't know how much of that they made up because you could put in compliments for yourself. I didn't because I wanted to keep it pure. Anyways, these were the 'compliments' about me
*is persistent, independent
*is a good person.
*bluntly goes where no one else does, and thus, opens doors for discussions that no one else dares to open. Can be very perceptive at times.
*I really like your indefatigable spirit, romantic idealism, and quest for growth and self-improvement
*can be very insightful and offers new perspectives on things.
*is seriously insightful.
*I admire her for sticking with her principles and her beliefs.
I am a nice person and am sensitive and try to be helpful. I guess no one thinks this, probably because I am direct. I don't care to be described as blunt. It's not really feminine. I guess the only nice thing was being called nice and insightful.
Maybe I've outgrown the site and there is not much else for me to learn. We'll see if I decide to not go. I'm just in the habit of going there daily. But I know I can stop because I stopped when I went to Florida and had no internet access.
As well, I don't feel I can say much to assist and give advice to people. It's basically pretty straight forward. You just focus on your life and being happy and let the man chase. It's not rocket science.
My friend thinks I like the drama but I just complain to her about the drama. I enjoy the non drama and that's probably why I kept going. I am also on an email list for kundalini yoga and I ask questions and generally find that there is little drama. I think some of these women are just too emotional and not rational and I probably just react to that but for sure lately I don't get involved. I guess because they are not on the same page as I am. Anyways, we'll see what happens but I am taking a break from that site. Too much nonsense.
I had posted my previous post at the Relationship board that I visit and it seemed to cause some controversy. Some people didn't have an issue with it, but others have, namely those who I think it applies to. It's interesting because my intention was to point out the negative filter some people have about marriage. I frankly think it's disgusting and I for one am fed up of it.
I never said there was something wrong with people who get divorced. Hey it happens but like with everything else in life, you have to take responsibility for it and learn from the experience. Usually people who chose to not take responsibility and deny their emotional responsibility are the bitter and angry ones. I know dealing with pain isn't easy but everyone has to learn to grow up and learn emotional self control and self management.
I didn't comment on my post for a week but someone attacked me on another thread saying it was caustic and that I probably am too chicken to go back to it. The thing is I had my Sat Nam Rasayan workshop on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I had a lot to process emotionally and energetically. I know responding would acquire more thought which I wasn't ready yet to do but after a week I did.
The essence of what I was expressing was that people need to accept their feelings of failure because that is what makes them negative towards something. As well, you can substitute any word for marriage in my post and it would still be applicable because usually when someone 'fails', they are bitter towards that thing. If they succeeded, they obviously wouldn't have the negative filter. I guess I have the tendency to make intuitive leaps but I think I was very insightful.
As well, I had my own experience of failure when I hit 30 and realized my feelings of failure in meditation. I think some people say they don't have these feelings, but I truthfully feel that they are not digging deep enough into themselves because this experience I had, I know in my heart is universal. Failure is just a feeling and when you learn from it and release, you can move forward in your life.
I started commenting on the thread but I started to feel like I was over defending myself so now I haven't been on the boards for 2 days. A woman I met from New York recently quit the boards for reasons she didn't really have time to explain to me yet but for me, I am starting to wonder why do I go there. It was useful in the beginning since I had questions about my dating issues. I don't really post my issues, since I don't think I have any since I'm pretty aware of what to do and I just post my dating escapades, even though there is very little of that going on.
I don't think some people take their inner work as seriously as I do. I use kundalini yoga and meditation on a daily basis. Most of these people don't have some tool. One uses EFT. I know that if you want to really change, you have to find a tool that helps you tap into your emotions and subconscious garbage. We all know stuff intellectually but the problem is in the emotional realm so you can't use the intellect to change an emotional problem.
There are some decent people on the board who I think are successful and a few are married or in serious relationships. Some conversations are insightful.
We recently had someone organize a thread where we anonymously submit positive things to say about members. I actually didn't like some of what was said about me. The two people who are the bullies on the board, had nicer things said about them. Now I don't know how much of that they made up because you could put in compliments for yourself. I didn't because I wanted to keep it pure. Anyways, these were the 'compliments' about me
*is persistent, independent
*is a good person.
*bluntly goes where no one else does, and thus, opens doors for discussions that no one else dares to open. Can be very perceptive at times.
*I really like your indefatigable spirit, romantic idealism, and quest for growth and self-improvement
*can be very insightful and offers new perspectives on things.
*is seriously insightful.
*I admire her for sticking with her principles and her beliefs.
I am a nice person and am sensitive and try to be helpful. I guess no one thinks this, probably because I am direct. I don't care to be described as blunt. It's not really feminine. I guess the only nice thing was being called nice and insightful.
Maybe I've outgrown the site and there is not much else for me to learn. We'll see if I decide to not go. I'm just in the habit of going there daily. But I know I can stop because I stopped when I went to Florida and had no internet access.
As well, I don't feel I can say much to assist and give advice to people. It's basically pretty straight forward. You just focus on your life and being happy and let the man chase. It's not rocket science.
My friend thinks I like the drama but I just complain to her about the drama. I enjoy the non drama and that's probably why I kept going. I am also on an email list for kundalini yoga and I ask questions and generally find that there is little drama. I think some of these women are just too emotional and not rational and I probably just react to that but for sure lately I don't get involved. I guess because they are not on the same page as I am. Anyways, we'll see what happens but I am taking a break from that site. Too much nonsense.
Monday, February 07, 2011
Failed Marriages
Greetings all,
On the board that I post on, I had made this observation that many women who have previously been married, have a negative view of marriage. Some of us on the board, do not have this negative view because we have not been married and so have not experienced a failed marriage.
The negative view is basically they may be afraid to get married again and so would rather live common law. The second is they think marriage is just a piece of paper and so means nothing. There are other negative views but these are just a few I am pointing out.
This is all false and a lie. Marriage is a very old institute and it has stood the test of time. It has been in place for thousands of years.
What I discovered is that because they had failed, it taints their perception of this. Marriage has been proven to make people happier and live longer. It helps people be more prosperous. Of course, this is only true if you are with the right person.
If you had difficulty riding a bike and failed, you too probably would have a negative view of bikes. You would think, bikes are bad. They are no fun. You don't need a bike to have a good time and feel the exhilaration.
It bothers me that people there had this view and now after thinking out loud, it made sense to me why they have this negative view.
It's because they failed.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a social convention and getting married is a very public and social act that you show others that you are going to attempt a serious life commitment with another person.
One person mentioned they didn't like people's perception of common law marriage. But the fact is, we all will think common law marriages are just stepping stones. And in fact, living with someone is just that.
I know people who live common law and get married. I know people who have been divorced, lived common law and remarried. There is something to taking that leap into marriage that living common law will never provide, otherwise people would just stay forever common law and be happy with that.
For goodness sakes, even the gay community wants this 'right' that many others insult out of ignorance and their past failure.
I used to get upset at these people but now I know where they get this irrational and negative perception of marriage.
It's because they failed.
Their negative filter will not taint my perception that marriage, a union of two loving and similar souls is a positive thing and a blessing.
On the board that I post on, I had made this observation that many women who have previously been married, have a negative view of marriage. Some of us on the board, do not have this negative view because we have not been married and so have not experienced a failed marriage.
The negative view is basically they may be afraid to get married again and so would rather live common law. The second is they think marriage is just a piece of paper and so means nothing. There are other negative views but these are just a few I am pointing out.
This is all false and a lie. Marriage is a very old institute and it has stood the test of time. It has been in place for thousands of years.
What I discovered is that because they had failed, it taints their perception of this. Marriage has been proven to make people happier and live longer. It helps people be more prosperous. Of course, this is only true if you are with the right person.
If you had difficulty riding a bike and failed, you too probably would have a negative view of bikes. You would think, bikes are bad. They are no fun. You don't need a bike to have a good time and feel the exhilaration.
It bothers me that people there had this view and now after thinking out loud, it made sense to me why they have this negative view.
It's because they failed.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a social convention and getting married is a very public and social act that you show others that you are going to attempt a serious life commitment with another person.
One person mentioned they didn't like people's perception of common law marriage. But the fact is, we all will think common law marriages are just stepping stones. And in fact, living with someone is just that.
I know people who live common law and get married. I know people who have been divorced, lived common law and remarried. There is something to taking that leap into marriage that living common law will never provide, otherwise people would just stay forever common law and be happy with that.
For goodness sakes, even the gay community wants this 'right' that many others insult out of ignorance and their past failure.
I used to get upset at these people but now I know where they get this irrational and negative perception of marriage.
It's because they failed.
Their negative filter will not taint my perception that marriage, a union of two loving and similar souls is a positive thing and a blessing.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Court Time
Greetings all,
Today I had an appointment with the Ontario Court of Justice. Guess for? A damn parking ticket that my neighbor accidentally gave me. This incident occurred on August 15, 2009 and it takes this long for it to finally get to a court. I think the whole process is long and stupid. I did not pay it and then they send you a letter and I went down to dispute it. You have to fill out some form to set the date. They don't tell you when it is at that point and so back in September I got my notice.
Now what happened is that our parking lot is shared with people who live on the neighboring street. My building uses the half close to us. The other half is private property. I was out on a Friday night and came home probably around 12.30 am. Some one was parked in my spot. We are designated spots and so I decided to park on the other side as there was no where else for me to park. I cannot park on the street after 12, unless I have a permit, otherwise I would get a ticket.
The next day I move my car and notice a ticket on it. I think I was upset and talked to the super about it. Since it was after midnight I didn't want to disturb her over something so trivial as someone taking my spot. She said next time I could call her, regardless of the time. I recorded the license plate the night before and had saved it.
A few days later the neighbor who was responsible for giving me this ticket apologized which I said was okay. I am not sure if he called them saying it was a mistake but I had to go through this process of going to court, which I think was silly. I don't know if the charge could have been dropped.
I took pictures of the parking lot and was getting ready to defend myself. I had saved the license plate number of the offender who was in my spot and put it in my purse so I wouldn't forget it. The next day I checked my purse for it but couldn't find it. I was pretty sure I put it there. I checked my recycling bag where I put my papers in and nothing. I brought it with me to check there and still didn't find it. I have no clue where it went and I was upset because I had saved it for this moment!
I was called up and had my laptop ready to show the pictures and defend myself but then the Ticket Officer must have said something to the guy who calls us up because they basically said my case was dismissed. I was ready to defend myself. What?
I also have another court date to attend and this is what I think is so stupid. I just want my fee reduced as I parked on the street after midnight with no permit. I was out with a friend having coffee so I lost track of time. I went downtown to see if I could arrange for these 2 court appearances to be on the same day and location but they said it couldn't be done. What nonsense. It's bad enough that I had to go out of my way to show myself for something I was innocent of and now I have to go out again. What a waste of time.
I asked the judge about it and they wouldn't do anything about it.
Today it was snowing a lot and so I left an hour early to get there and the drive was terrible as there was so much snow on the roads. I parked on a side street because they only have pay parking there, which again I think is dumb. I had gotten stuck as I was leaving and so I spent about 20 minutes using my pick to dig myself out. It wasn't that bad as it was my right front tire that was stuck since there was so much snow.
The judge was so serious. I am not sure if there was another judge but she was wearing the same outfit as the judge. They both were serious. It's like, dude you guys are just parking ticket judges. You're not dealing with anything really justice worthy. Your dealing with cases where people usually park without a permit or they park in the wrong spot. You have no right to be so serious as this job is really not that important in the grand scheme of things. It's not like you are dealing with murder cases. I'm sure the odd case is more serious but all these infractions are largely minor. Smile for goodness sake!
Today I had an appointment with the Ontario Court of Justice. Guess for? A damn parking ticket that my neighbor accidentally gave me. This incident occurred on August 15, 2009 and it takes this long for it to finally get to a court. I think the whole process is long and stupid. I did not pay it and then they send you a letter and I went down to dispute it. You have to fill out some form to set the date. They don't tell you when it is at that point and so back in September I got my notice.
Now what happened is that our parking lot is shared with people who live on the neighboring street. My building uses the half close to us. The other half is private property. I was out on a Friday night and came home probably around 12.30 am. Some one was parked in my spot. We are designated spots and so I decided to park on the other side as there was no where else for me to park. I cannot park on the street after 12, unless I have a permit, otherwise I would get a ticket.
The next day I move my car and notice a ticket on it. I think I was upset and talked to the super about it. Since it was after midnight I didn't want to disturb her over something so trivial as someone taking my spot. She said next time I could call her, regardless of the time. I recorded the license plate the night before and had saved it.
A few days later the neighbor who was responsible for giving me this ticket apologized which I said was okay. I am not sure if he called them saying it was a mistake but I had to go through this process of going to court, which I think was silly. I don't know if the charge could have been dropped.
I took pictures of the parking lot and was getting ready to defend myself. I had saved the license plate number of the offender who was in my spot and put it in my purse so I wouldn't forget it. The next day I checked my purse for it but couldn't find it. I was pretty sure I put it there. I checked my recycling bag where I put my papers in and nothing. I brought it with me to check there and still didn't find it. I have no clue where it went and I was upset because I had saved it for this moment!
I was called up and had my laptop ready to show the pictures and defend myself but then the Ticket Officer must have said something to the guy who calls us up because they basically said my case was dismissed. I was ready to defend myself. What?
I also have another court date to attend and this is what I think is so stupid. I just want my fee reduced as I parked on the street after midnight with no permit. I was out with a friend having coffee so I lost track of time. I went downtown to see if I could arrange for these 2 court appearances to be on the same day and location but they said it couldn't be done. What nonsense. It's bad enough that I had to go out of my way to show myself for something I was innocent of and now I have to go out again. What a waste of time.
I asked the judge about it and they wouldn't do anything about it.
Today it was snowing a lot and so I left an hour early to get there and the drive was terrible as there was so much snow on the roads. I parked on a side street because they only have pay parking there, which again I think is dumb. I had gotten stuck as I was leaving and so I spent about 20 minutes using my pick to dig myself out. It wasn't that bad as it was my right front tire that was stuck since there was so much snow.
The judge was so serious. I am not sure if there was another judge but she was wearing the same outfit as the judge. They both were serious. It's like, dude you guys are just parking ticket judges. You're not dealing with anything really justice worthy. Your dealing with cases where people usually park without a permit or they park in the wrong spot. You have no right to be so serious as this job is really not that important in the grand scheme of things. It's not like you are dealing with murder cases. I'm sure the odd case is more serious but all these infractions are largely minor. Smile for goodness sake!
Love Triangle 2
Greetings all,
I had mentioned about this guy in my meetup group who was interested in me and the organizer. Someone in the group had invited us to dinner for the Chinese New Year and he happened to be there. The next day he emails me if I want to cuddle. I replied that I think that night was a mistake and that I do not foresee any cuddling in the future. He then replies he does care about me the most in the group (did you happen to say this to the organizer as well?) and that he does feel drawn to me but does not think it will work out (did you say the same thing to the organizer?)
I had some friends tell me to ignore the email but I just responded that I think we should stay friends. I really don't want this kind of person in my life and he has some traits that I don't like. He's okay as a friend but that's it.
I know a boundary was broke when we cuddled, but where does he get the nerve to ask for it? Loyalty is important to me and he doesn't seem like he knows what he wants. Men are just so weird.
* * *
I had a job interview on Monday and I think today was the day I should hear from them if I am going to get a second interview. So far I have not heard from them, so I figured I did not get the job. I said I should find a job by February and I haven't. I am getting really fed up with my job search and this has been the worst winter of my life. The stress of not having a job and no money and the stress from being sleepy all the time with my seasonal affective disorder, I just want to put a bullet to my brain. I've had enough. I see no light at the end of this tunnel.
I went to see a counselor on Friday and she said I have mild depression. They will put me on SSRI for my SAD. I had said isn't it too late for me to go on medications since it takes about 4 weeks for it to kick in. By that time, my symptoms will be gone. I checked my journal and I don't mention when I start feeling better but I think by March I feel better.
I am tempted to buy the Valkee product that is like a walkman that emits light into your ear but I want to see more data on its effectiveness before getting it. There are some positive reviews but negative ones as well. I have a lightbox and that helps a bit but not enough. Maybe this product would work more effectively for me? I am on a tight budget as well so I'm just really cautious.
I had mentioned about this guy in my meetup group who was interested in me and the organizer. Someone in the group had invited us to dinner for the Chinese New Year and he happened to be there. The next day he emails me if I want to cuddle. I replied that I think that night was a mistake and that I do not foresee any cuddling in the future. He then replies he does care about me the most in the group (did you happen to say this to the organizer as well?) and that he does feel drawn to me but does not think it will work out (did you say the same thing to the organizer?)
I had some friends tell me to ignore the email but I just responded that I think we should stay friends. I really don't want this kind of person in my life and he has some traits that I don't like. He's okay as a friend but that's it.
I know a boundary was broke when we cuddled, but where does he get the nerve to ask for it? Loyalty is important to me and he doesn't seem like he knows what he wants. Men are just so weird.
I had a job interview on Monday and I think today was the day I should hear from them if I am going to get a second interview. So far I have not heard from them, so I figured I did not get the job. I said I should find a job by February and I haven't. I am getting really fed up with my job search and this has been the worst winter of my life. The stress of not having a job and no money and the stress from being sleepy all the time with my seasonal affective disorder, I just want to put a bullet to my brain. I've had enough. I see no light at the end of this tunnel.
I went to see a counselor on Friday and she said I have mild depression. They will put me on SSRI for my SAD. I had said isn't it too late for me to go on medications since it takes about 4 weeks for it to kick in. By that time, my symptoms will be gone. I checked my journal and I don't mention when I start feeling better but I think by March I feel better.
I am tempted to buy the Valkee product that is like a walkman that emits light into your ear but I want to see more data on its effectiveness before getting it. There are some positive reviews but negative ones as well. I have a lightbox and that helps a bit but not enough. Maybe this product would work more effectively for me? I am on a tight budget as well so I'm just really cautious.
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