Bitches Be Crazy!

Greetings all,

Today I decided to delete my account for the forum that I am on that is primarily for women to discuss dating, relationships and men. I left a positive goodbye. No insulting or really going into the real reasons why I am leaving. Basically said that I enjoyed meeting some in real life as a few came to Toronto and I went to New York to see those who lived there. I said that I felt I had learned all that I could and felt I had nothing to contribute. I ended with the closing that is commonly done in kundalini yoga, which is: may the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on, guide your way on, guide your way on.

Now some people were civilized and politely said goodbyes but a few were petty and insulting. Some said I was brash and tried to give me feedback. I didn't ask for feedback, mainly because I don't think I need it. One woman was rude enough to say that I need to work on being compassionate so that I could be happy. This was the woman who had a problem with my post about Failed Marriages. I think I am a fairly compassionate person. Another woman said I need to see a counsellor to work on my social skills. Now these people were not saying these things to me because they cared about me. They only said these things to hurt me and were acting petty. I am not brash or harsh. I am a rational, logical and opinionated woman and so maybe they perceive me as cold but I am not. I am not irrational (at least not that often) nor am I an emotional basket case. I am pretty solid emotionally. Not perfect but certainly not as dysfunctional as some on the board.

The way I look at it, these women who didn't have the class to give me a polite goodbye or say nothing at all, have proven to me that this is not a healthy environment.

Recently on the boards, 2 other people left. One left because moderators were put in place and she didn't like the idea of that since it was like we were being policed. The other left because she was not wanting to be in this toxic environment.

There definitely is 2 different classes of women on that board. The good kind and the bitches. Crazy bitches. I talked with the woman who left the board last week, as I met her when she came to Toronto and I visited her in New York. She is very New York and she is quite the character. She's like many New Yorkers, tough on the outside but generous towards people. We had talked today about why she left and why I was thinking of leaving. She told me she read my Failed Marriage post and didn't see anything offensive about it and read it several times. They are just projecting their own issues rather then seeing how it might apply to me. I thought I would be polite and put a goodbye post instead of just deleting my account and its post all together. As mentioned in a previous post, I had told her I felt like I have been over defending myself. Which to me means people are attacking me and not trying to understand me. If people do that to me, maybe it's not me with the problem but the others. I was saying some of these people are really dysfunctional so they can't see where I am coming from because they think they are being attacked when really I am just pointing out what is not right. As well, some people enjoy hurting people. I don't. I do not sugarcoat things but I try to be helpful with people. I don't get off on calling a woman insecure. I want people to wake up and realize that they are the ones that are creating their problems.

Truthfully some people are not ready to change and really are not at the level of others. Some are just too dysfunctional and frankly I can't help these people. If you aren't willing to take responsibility for your life and your personality and your character, then no one can really help you.

I really can't justify my time there. I am just so mad at the reactions of others. Truly sad. But then they just criticize me. What people like that typically do, is they use the jargon from the personal growth community and apply it to others to sound smart. The truth is, I walk the walk and they are merely talking the talk to others. Don't tell me I need to develop compassion when you are miserable. Don't tell me how to act or how to be. I am who I am.