Love Triangle 2

Greetings all,

I had mentioned about this guy in my meetup group who was interested in me and the organizer. Someone in the group had invited us to dinner for the Chinese New Year and he happened to be there. The next day he emails me if I want to cuddle. I replied that I think that night was a mistake and that I do not foresee any cuddling in the future. He then replies he does care about me the most in the group (did you happen to say this to the organizer as well?) and that he does feel drawn to me but does not think it will work out (did you say the same thing to the organizer?)

I had some friends tell me to ignore the email but I just responded that I think we should stay friends. I really don't want this kind of person in my life and he has some traits that I don't like. He's okay as a friend but that's it.

I know a boundary was broke when we cuddled, but where does he get the nerve to ask for it? Loyalty is important to me and he doesn't seem like he knows what he wants. Men are just so weird.

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I had a job interview on Monday and I think today was the day I should hear from them if I am going to get a second interview. So far I have not heard from them, so I figured I did not get the job. I said I should find a job by February and I haven't. I am getting really fed up with my job search and this has been the worst winter of my life. The stress of not having a job and no money and the stress from being sleepy all the time with my seasonal affective disorder, I just want to put a bullet to my brain. I've had enough. I see no light at the end of this tunnel.

I went to see a counselor on Friday and she said I have mild depression. They will put me on SSRI for my SAD. I had said isn't it too late for me to go on medications since it takes about 4 weeks for it to kick in. By that time, my symptoms will be gone. I checked my journal and I don't mention when I start feeling better but I think by March I feel better.

I am tempted to buy the Valkee product that is like a walkman that emits light into your ear but I want to see more data on its effectiveness before getting it. There are some positive reviews but negative ones as well. I have a lightbox and that helps a bit but not enough. Maybe this product would work more effectively for me? I am on a tight budget as well so I'm just really cautious.