Greetings all,

I had posted my previous post at the Relationship board that I visit and it seemed to cause some controversy. Some people didn't have an issue with it, but others have, namely those who I think it applies to. It's interesting because my intention was to point out the negative filter some people have about marriage. I frankly think it's disgusting and I for one am fed up of it.

I never said there was something wrong with people who get divorced. Hey it happens but like with everything else in life, you have to take responsibility for it and learn from the experience. Usually people who chose to not take responsibility and deny their emotional responsibility are the bitter and angry ones. I know dealing with pain isn't easy but everyone has to learn to grow up and learn emotional self control and self management.

I didn't comment on my post for a week but someone attacked me on another thread saying it was caustic and that I probably am too chicken to go back to it. The thing is I had my Sat Nam Rasayan workshop on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I had a lot to process emotionally and energetically. I know responding would acquire more thought which I wasn't ready yet to do but after a week I did.

The essence of what I was expressing was that people need to accept their feelings of failure because that is what makes them negative towards something. As well, you can substitute any word for marriage in my post and it would still be applicable because usually when someone 'fails', they are bitter towards that thing. If they succeeded, they obviously wouldn't have the negative filter. I guess I have the tendency to make intuitive leaps but I think I was very insightful.

As well, I had my own experience of failure when I hit 30 and realized my feelings of failure in meditation. I think some people say they don't have these feelings, but I truthfully feel that they are not digging deep enough into themselves because this experience I had, I know in my heart is universal. Failure is just a feeling and when you learn from it and release, you can move forward in your life.

I started commenting on the thread but I started to feel like I was over defending myself so now I haven't been on the boards for 2 days. A woman I met from New York recently quit the boards for reasons she didn't really have time to explain to me yet but for me, I am starting to wonder why do I go there. It was useful in the beginning since I had questions about my dating issues. I don't really post my issues, since I don't think I have any since I'm pretty aware of what to do and I just post my dating escapades, even though there is very little of that going on.

I don't think some people take their inner work as seriously as I do. I use kundalini yoga and meditation on a daily basis. Most of these people don't have some tool. One uses EFT. I know that if you want to really change, you have to find a tool that helps you tap into your emotions and subconscious garbage. We all know stuff intellectually but the problem is in the emotional realm so you can't use the intellect to change an emotional problem.

There are some decent people on the board who I think are successful and a few are married or in serious relationships. Some conversations are insightful.

We recently had someone organize a thread where we anonymously submit positive things to say about members. I actually didn't like some of what was said about me. The two people who are the bullies on the board, had nicer things said about them. Now I don't know how much of that they made up because you could put in compliments for yourself. I didn't because I wanted to keep it pure. Anyways, these were the 'compliments' about me

*is persistent, independent
*is a good person.
*bluntly goes where no one else does, and thus, opens doors for discussions that no one else dares to open. Can be very perceptive at times.
*I really like your indefatigable spirit, romantic idealism, and quest for growth and self-improvement
*can be very insightful and offers new perspectives on things.
*is seriously insightful.
*I admire her for sticking with her principles and her beliefs.

I am a nice person and am sensitive and try to be helpful. I guess no one thinks this, probably because I am direct. I don't care to be described as blunt. It's not really feminine. I guess the only nice thing was being called nice and insightful.

Maybe I've outgrown the site and there is not much else for me to learn. We'll see if I decide to not go. I'm just in the habit of going there daily. But I know I can stop because I stopped when I went to Florida and had no internet access.

As well, I don't feel I can say much to assist and give advice to people. It's basically pretty straight forward. You just focus on your life and being happy and let the man chase. It's not rocket science.

My friend thinks I like the drama but I just complain to her about the drama. I enjoy the non drama and that's probably why I kept going. I am also on an email list for kundalini yoga and I ask questions and generally find that there is little drama. I think some of these women are just too emotional and not rational and I probably just react to that but for sure lately I don't get involved. I guess because they are not on the same page as I am. Anyways, we'll see what happens but I am taking a break from that site. Too much nonsense.