Pampered

Greetings and Salutations fellow Earthlings,

Today I went to the mall and ended up buying myself a few items to pamper myself. I went to check out this one booth that has this moisturizer with Dead Sea Salts. My mom had the product and so I was curious about this product. I had one of the sales person give me a demo of this nail product and it's some buffer thing and it made my nail all shiny like it had clear nail polish, but without the polish. I've never heard of a product that can make your nail shiny by just using a buffer. I'm not really into vanity stuff and wearing makeup, etc, but this seemed to suit my minimalist personality.
I also bought some Dead Sea facial peel, which works as an exfoliant. I used it today and I thought it was neat.
I continued wandering through the mall as I recalled my initial intention in heading out to the mall. I wanted this hair inhibitor but I couldn't find it at any drug store.
I went to some speciality beauty shop and found one. I did some research last night on it but I heard of a cheaper alternative which could be found at stores like Walmart. Since I didn't find it I had to go with this product. I will try it. The sales woman said she uses it but you don't see results right away. My body hair grows too fast so I'm hoping this will help out. I went to some online review board on hair removal and I was so surprised to find so many people interested in hair removal and having excess body hair (men and women).
I was so impressed by that nail buffer I must say. I did the rest of my nails but it didn't come out as good like the way the sales woman did. I was too gentle doing it, not that you have to be hugely aggressive. She obviously has more experience. She also said that you can do it every month.
Low maintenance beauty. That's what I'm talking about!

I enjoyed my Labour Day weekend. It was quite enlightening for me in the love department. My ex was there and so I was able to observe him. It became really clear to me that he's really not mature for me and has a lot of life lessons to learn. He hung out with the same 3 people for pretty much the whole weekend. It just showed me that he doesn't feel socially confident because he was so attached to the other people (whom were 3 chicks who used to go to high school with him). He is younger than me and is the first young guy I have gone out with.
I also began wondering why and how I fell in love with this person. I haven't spent much time analyzing this because sometimes I think over analyzing something is not good for you. Anyways, maybe I fell in love with the (here comes the lame cliche!) man inside the boy. I thought he was more mature but I really saw how he's just a typical 18 year old (who is in second year university). I really don't know why I fell in love with his person...
By the way I'm 26 and I could never fathom dating someone so young so it was a surprise to me that I was attracted and interested in someone young because I like people who are mature, intelligent and funny.
This realizing I do not love this person anymore has made me feel a bit disillusioned. I will let this experience simmer in my soul because I will not get answers or make sense of this if I analyze it.
I also realized when I got home and pondered my weekend that I was a bit possessive of him. It was a mild feeling.
I realized I have a great need to be in a serious and loving relationship with someone. I think I wanted that from this person but he really wasn't reciprocating.
I have been in 2 long term relationship but mostly I have just been in short term relationships usually 3 months.
My mild possessiveness resulted because my ego had a need that controlled it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a longterm relationship but there is something unhealthy when I let this need control me. Feeling the pain of not having this desire allowed me to gain control over myself.
Denial of pain and suffering is the root of many psychological problems.
The experience of pain and letting it work upon your soul can be liberating.
I hope I have liberated myself from my unhealthy attachment to this person and maybe in doing so I have liberated him as well.

I went swimming as well. I went on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I got some colour. Most people there are fair skinned. I am of Italian descent so I'm more olive skin toned. I also like to call myself Mediterrean (well call my skin tone Mediterrean. I'm a mother fucking Canadian!!!).
We did improv as well at this hobby palace where we do it every year.
No one pissed me off and I felt really comfortable socializing and being around people. Ususally being with people is draining for me but it didn't happen. I also went to bed early Saturday because I wanted to think. I think my Wild Goose qigong has helped me feel more comfortable socializing. I will learn the second set of 64 movements on Saturday. I also did some qigong on the beach on the weekend.

Random musings on my summer

Hello all,

I've had a quiet summer this year. Spent my time working and learning and practicing qigong. I usually like to be someone who has new and exciting things to do in the summer but I guess this year was a quiet year and I'm actually okay with that.
Life is like that. Sometimes its quiet and sometimes its crazy and busy and exciting.
I guess I'm not always going to have an exciting summer and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm going away this Labour day weekend as this couple at improv invites everyone to their cottage every Labour Day weekend and we camp out on their lawn (huge lawn). All week I have been anticipating this and even at work all I could think about was going there.
And when I get there I'll probably be like, when is this over? I want to go home!
Hopefully I'll enjoy myself.
Every year I hope to have a boyfriend whom I can take so we can share my tent and cuddle around the fire and we can swim together but every year I am single.
I'm always in between boyfriends. And the one time I had a boyfriend around Labour day weekend, I was in Yellowknife!
I didn't enjoy myself that much last year because some people said some things to me about me that I didn't agree with and thought was untrue. For some reason too I was trying to socialize with everyone, even people whom I didn't really like because they were so negative and defensive. At the time I always felt like I had difficulty connecting with most of the people there and that's what made it frustrating for me as well.
I don't feel that way now because a lot of the times the lack of connection people feel towards others is really something they create in their mind.
Reality is I'm not going to like everyone and not everyone will like me but at least we can try to get along and exist in harmony.
I am nervous as to what the socializing aspect of the weekend will be like but I am optimistic as there are people there whom I can talk to and enjoy being around.
I'm bringing my guitar and hopefully I'll jam. Someone else brought his guitar so I'm hoping we can play together for a bit as he has more experience and maybe I can learn something.

I wrote a letter to my soulmate last weekend. I've been thinking about this concept of soulmate and I've been reading this book by Thomas Moore called Soulmates.
I believe that we do exist before we physically incarnate as I've pondered the various existential concepts such as life after death, life before birth and just life and die.
I think we prepare in the spiritual world for the things that we are to work on when we are here on Earth. So I'm thinking we probably have selected someone who will be our life partner or we can select to be alone, if that is best for us.
The other concept of soulmate is that we were split and our striving for a mate is an actual joining of 2 halves. I don't believe in this because I believe that we are all 'one' in a sense. This concept doesn't make sense to me because I think it isolates me from people. I'm not clear how to explain it but my first explanation of soulmate is what I think makes sense as I've put some thought into this and this is what would make sense to me.
The book I read didn't really talk about the concept of soulmates the way I thought it would. It spent a lot of time talking about how to relate to people. He also stated that we can have many soulmates, like not just in a couple relationship but like friends etc. That makes sense to me.
So I wrote a letter to my soulmate basically feeling and imagining that we were together and I wrote how I felt and what I liked about our relationship and how well he treated me and how well I treated him.
Yes I am a softie.
I try to hide it by my tough exterior but sometimes my gentle nature seeps though.
I haven't given much thought about my soulmate since I wrote it because I think writing something like that, the fruit doesn't manifest right away. I planted a seed in my mind and I think in time it will bear fruit and maybe I'll get a sense of what my soulmate will be like. Or when I'll meet him.