I'm at odds with whether I should buy a new computer or not. In between thoughts of why am I on this earth and what's for dinner, I am becoming consumed with my computer dilema. I want a dual core but I read that it would be better to wait 6 months for the technology to be more mainstream. I don't want to spend more then $900 on a laptop and the only Dell dual core near my price range is $1100 but then I have to worry about the operating system. Do I want to continue to support the mediocrity known as Microsoft or do I support Linux? Do I want to support IE or Firefox? More research must be done on my part.
On top of it, my computer has been acting quite shifty lately and I think it's because of some viruses or maybe not.
This is probably one good reason why I wish I had a geek boyfriend. My first geek boyfriend bought my computer for me and loaded it up with various programs. Mind you he was an asshole...
We have a morning dove who is spawning in our evergreen tree. We had robins last year in our tree.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
A Message From the Doppelganger of George W. Bush
Hello World and Fellow Americans,
This is the doppelganger of the infamous George Bush. I have important news. I can't go on being his doppelganger anymore. He is too much of an asshole and even for someone as diabolical and sinister as I am, I just can't deal with his shit anymore. I can't believe the lies and the propaganda that he's spewing. Yes I take some responsibility, but he has gone too far. I have to incarnate into a soul that is more virtuous then Mr. Bush.
America, I have to let you on a secret that maybe none of your Presidents haven't shared with you. You're not really the economic powerhouse of the world. You're not really this superpower of the world. You just have great PR. You're really like a teenager who thinks she/he is invincible and has a false sense of bravado. But you're not! You're a country that's got issues and problems just like all the other countries in the world.
The world doesn't need saving. You know at first I thought it was great to try and 'Americanize' all the other countries in the world and force democracy down their throats. I thought it was great to feed the American public this illusion that we're saving people because no one is going to knock someone who wants to help people. It's a great ploy. Being manipulative under the guise of Virtuousness. But then I started having pangs of conscience. Yes I know, fucking unbelievable, a doppelganger of all entitites to have this type of experience. When I made this realization it was like that scene from the Crying Game and all I could do was puke for 4 days.
So I had to leave Mr. Bush. You're on your own now cocksucker. I can't go on being manipulative and so deceiving to the American public. I believe countries need to be sovereign. Democracy is something that results because people have a burning desire to be independent and free. We cannot coerce our ethics and what we think is right onto other nations. We just can't be so deceitful anymore. We can't pretend to be heros when we really have more selfish intentions.
I would like to apologize to the world. I am sorry for what I did. I am sorry.
This is the doppelganger of the infamous George Bush. I have important news. I can't go on being his doppelganger anymore. He is too much of an asshole and even for someone as diabolical and sinister as I am, I just can't deal with his shit anymore. I can't believe the lies and the propaganda that he's spewing. Yes I take some responsibility, but he has gone too far. I have to incarnate into a soul that is more virtuous then Mr. Bush.
America, I have to let you on a secret that maybe none of your Presidents haven't shared with you. You're not really the economic powerhouse of the world. You're not really this superpower of the world. You just have great PR. You're really like a teenager who thinks she/he is invincible and has a false sense of bravado. But you're not! You're a country that's got issues and problems just like all the other countries in the world.
The world doesn't need saving. You know at first I thought it was great to try and 'Americanize' all the other countries in the world and force democracy down their throats. I thought it was great to feed the American public this illusion that we're saving people because no one is going to knock someone who wants to help people. It's a great ploy. Being manipulative under the guise of Virtuousness. But then I started having pangs of conscience. Yes I know, fucking unbelievable, a doppelganger of all entitites to have this type of experience. When I made this realization it was like that scene from the Crying Game and all I could do was puke for 4 days.
So I had to leave Mr. Bush. You're on your own now cocksucker. I can't go on being manipulative and so deceiving to the American public. I believe countries need to be sovereign. Democracy is something that results because people have a burning desire to be independent and free. We cannot coerce our ethics and what we think is right onto other nations. We just can't be so deceitful anymore. We can't pretend to be heros when we really have more selfish intentions.
I would like to apologize to the world. I am sorry for what I did. I am sorry.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Yeah Income Tax
I did my income tax and so I am anticipating a return in the next few weeks. I'm thinking of using that money for a new laptop. I've done some research and I read an article about this new duo processor technology. The article suggests to wait to buy a new computer because of this technology. I've had my laptop since September 1999 and the people at Dell were not able to really help solve my problem since I had to call again. My computer is working okay for now but I don't know how much longer this baby will last.
The technicians just seemed so shocked and didn't seem to know how to fix a computer so old. Maybe Dell sucks for tech support when a computer gets so old and maybe I should have someone look into my computer.
Yes I still have Windows 98.
I don't want to spend much money on whatever laptop I buy. I spent way too much for this one. I like laptops because it gives me the freedom to take my computer wherever I want. Even though I tend to keep it in the same spot, I like knowing that I can take it wherever I want.
[cut to scenes of me carrying my laptop with glee down a major New York road.
cut to scenes of me in a wedding dress with me and my laptop on the dancefloor.
cut to scenes of me having kinky sex with some hot guy and me winking and saying to my laptop 'don't I make you proud lappie!']
I don't really use my computer for much. I use it mostly for internet and email. I also use Word and the accounting program and I like minesweeper. What else can I do with this thing anyways?
I know I'm sorry oh mighty computer geeks. I'm not utilizing my computer's full potential. And now I plan on buying a computer with even more power and I will continue to utilize a small amount of its power and potential. Any opinions and advice by computer geeks on what I can use my computer for or what's a good system to buy is welcomed.
I saw Madonna's new video Sorry. Near the end there is some dance off scene and we see Madonna incorporating Yoga moves into her fighting/dancing solo. She's done this before in a prior video. As a former Yoga practioner, I think it's great to be making Yoga hip but when you do that more then once in your vidoes, it looks to me like you are running out of creativity. I enjoy Madonna's music and her work but please, you've done the Yoga thing before in your videos, we know you're superflexible and in shape. Please explore something new.
Why is pee warm?
The technicians just seemed so shocked and didn't seem to know how to fix a computer so old. Maybe Dell sucks for tech support when a computer gets so old and maybe I should have someone look into my computer.
Yes I still have Windows 98.
I don't want to spend much money on whatever laptop I buy. I spent way too much for this one. I like laptops because it gives me the freedom to take my computer wherever I want. Even though I tend to keep it in the same spot, I like knowing that I can take it wherever I want.
[cut to scenes of me carrying my laptop with glee down a major New York road.
cut to scenes of me in a wedding dress with me and my laptop on the dancefloor.
cut to scenes of me having kinky sex with some hot guy and me winking and saying to my laptop 'don't I make you proud lappie!']
I don't really use my computer for much. I use it mostly for internet and email. I also use Word and the accounting program and I like minesweeper. What else can I do with this thing anyways?
I know I'm sorry oh mighty computer geeks. I'm not utilizing my computer's full potential. And now I plan on buying a computer with even more power and I will continue to utilize a small amount of its power and potential. Any opinions and advice by computer geeks on what I can use my computer for or what's a good system to buy is welcomed.
I saw Madonna's new video Sorry. Near the end there is some dance off scene and we see Madonna incorporating Yoga moves into her fighting/dancing solo. She's done this before in a prior video. As a former Yoga practioner, I think it's great to be making Yoga hip but when you do that more then once in your vidoes, it looks to me like you are running out of creativity. I enjoy Madonna's music and her work but please, you've done the Yoga thing before in your videos, we know you're superflexible and in shape. Please explore something new.
Why is pee warm?
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Obsessive Stalker Part 2
My inner obsessive stalker is doing well today. My inner stalker is relaxed and no one has been obsessively stalked. Let's see how inner obsessive stalker (IOS) is doing today.
Me: How are you feeling after last night?
IOS: I feel better. I don't feel so obsessed to stalk this individual.
Me: Are you concerned that you'll feel this way next week, that you'll have a relapse?
IOS: Right now I don't think I'll relapse. It's possible. I don't want to deny the possibility. I'm just taking it a day at a time so it's pretty hard for me to say what will happen next week.
I think I had an important experience last night so I feel much better and so I don't really think I'll have the same feelings and thoughts.
Me: I think everyone has these moments in life where we are so desperate to be loved and this desperation makes us feel and think and do things we normally don't do. This desire to be loved I think is a fundamental trait in humans. I think being and feeling unloved creates a great many aberrations in the psyches of people. What advice do you have for people who feel this desperation that can lead to stalking or wanting to stalk someone and being possessive?
IOS: I think it's important to acknowledge and listen to what we feel. Don't just take us literally, try and see the good that lies in us. We're just here to be transformed, to be released. All I am is an ignored need. Denying me just gets me more upset and giving me what I want just leaves me feeling empty and just throws me down even further into the abyss of obsession.
Me: Well I applaud your courage my inner obsessive stalker. I hope that my wonderful readers can learn from you. You live in all of us my inner obsessive stalker. You have taught me well. Thank you for your time.
IOS: Thanks. It was a pleasure to be featured on your blog.
Me: How are you feeling after last night?
IOS: I feel better. I don't feel so obsessed to stalk this individual.
Me: Are you concerned that you'll feel this way next week, that you'll have a relapse?
IOS: Right now I don't think I'll relapse. It's possible. I don't want to deny the possibility. I'm just taking it a day at a time so it's pretty hard for me to say what will happen next week.
I think I had an important experience last night so I feel much better and so I don't really think I'll have the same feelings and thoughts.
Me: I think everyone has these moments in life where we are so desperate to be loved and this desperation makes us feel and think and do things we normally don't do. This desire to be loved I think is a fundamental trait in humans. I think being and feeling unloved creates a great many aberrations in the psyches of people. What advice do you have for people who feel this desperation that can lead to stalking or wanting to stalk someone and being possessive?
IOS: I think it's important to acknowledge and listen to what we feel. Don't just take us literally, try and see the good that lies in us. We're just here to be transformed, to be released. All I am is an ignored need. Denying me just gets me more upset and giving me what I want just leaves me feeling empty and just throws me down even further into the abyss of obsession.
Me: Well I applaud your courage my inner obsessive stalker. I hope that my wonderful readers can learn from you. You live in all of us my inner obsessive stalker. You have taught me well. Thank you for your time.
IOS: Thanks. It was a pleasure to be featured on your blog.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Obsessive Stalker Part 1
Okay I'm feeling like stalking someone I ran into by accident last week. Now I normally don't stalk people but I must confess, I have a bit of obsessive stalker lurking in my soul. It normally doesn't come out. I usually have normal relationships with people. I'm on friendly terms with my inner obsessive stalker. I acknowledge it and that usually keeps it in line. My inner obsessive stalker might have gotten upset a few times but nothing hard core.
Today though my inner stalking is really wanting to stalk this person I ran into by accident. I found out this person regularly attends this 'event' and it is actually in what I consider to be 'my end of town' as it is in the end east of Hamilton and is about 5 minutes from my house by car. I knew this person participated in this activity but I thought it was on Wednesdays and in the downtown part of Hamilton. Now I find out it's close to my area.
I'm quite tempted to run into this person, drag them out into the bushes and have my way and make them love me.
Now I know I can't make someone love me but this is what my inner obsessive stalker wants. I know that it's not cool to stalk someone. It just makes you look bad and desperate, however, for the inner obsessive stalker in all of us, it just wants what it wants when it wants. I will begin a dialogue with my inner obsessive stalker.
What do you want inner obsessive stalker? What do you want from this person? What do you need? You can get that from yourself you know.
Is it something you want from this person in particular? What is this person triggering in you inner obsessive stalker?
Inner obsessive stalker is silent.
Inner obsessive stalker begins to speak about the stalkee.
Why do you ignore me?
Don't you want me?
I thought we had something special!
You hurt me and you ignore me.
I want to be your friend.
Why can't you grow up and be mature about the situation.
Thank you for sharing this my inner obsessive stalker.
Inner obsessive stalker has a few moments to cry as she feels her pain and acknowledges the hurt that she has ignored.
Well I think I'm going to let my inner obsessive stalker have a rest. I'm sure this was hard for her. Hopefully we'll hear more from her in the next few days.
Today though my inner stalking is really wanting to stalk this person I ran into by accident. I found out this person regularly attends this 'event' and it is actually in what I consider to be 'my end of town' as it is in the end east of Hamilton and is about 5 minutes from my house by car. I knew this person participated in this activity but I thought it was on Wednesdays and in the downtown part of Hamilton. Now I find out it's close to my area.
I'm quite tempted to run into this person, drag them out into the bushes and have my way and make them love me.
Now I know I can't make someone love me but this is what my inner obsessive stalker wants. I know that it's not cool to stalk someone. It just makes you look bad and desperate, however, for the inner obsessive stalker in all of us, it just wants what it wants when it wants. I will begin a dialogue with my inner obsessive stalker.
What do you want inner obsessive stalker? What do you want from this person? What do you need? You can get that from yourself you know.
Is it something you want from this person in particular? What is this person triggering in you inner obsessive stalker?
Inner obsessive stalker is silent.
Inner obsessive stalker begins to speak about the stalkee.
Why do you ignore me?
Don't you want me?
I thought we had something special!
You hurt me and you ignore me.
I want to be your friend.
Why can't you grow up and be mature about the situation.
Thank you for sharing this my inner obsessive stalker.
Inner obsessive stalker has a few moments to cry as she feels her pain and acknowledges the hurt that she has ignored.
Well I think I'm going to let my inner obsessive stalker have a rest. I'm sure this was hard for her. Hopefully we'll hear more from her in the next few days.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
Dell Technical Support
I had this problem with my computer on Wednesday night and contacted Dell for tech support last night. My problem was when I restarted Windows, I had an error message come up stating
While initializing device IOS
Error: real mode system memory allocation failed
I'm not into this techno stuff so I don't really understand what goes on. Anyways, I contacted Dell and I was on the phone waiting to speak to someone for 20 minutes and then I was on the phone for an hour trying to 'cure' my computer. This person gave me a few things to do to fix the problem but nothing seemed to work. The person said that if these things don't work, I may have to reinstall Windows.
We had one more thing to try - a technical activity requiring a screwdriver where I had to remove the memory and put it in another slot, or something to that affect. I unfortunately had my guitar lesson so I had to leave.
I call today and had to wait 13 minutes. The technical support person had me restore a registry from a few days ago and this seemed to solve my problem. I probably was on the phone for 10 minutes. I don't know if this was some bandage solution but I'm just happy my computer is up and running.
Isn't that fucking ridiculous? I've had this happen before when I've called Dell's tech support. My first call usually someone gives me a bunch of things to try which don't work and then they throw out the 'you'll have to reinstall windows' bullshit. I then call a second time because I think I'll probably find a better technician since I don't believe in reinstalling windows. I end up having my problem quickly solved with none of this 'reinstall windows' bullshit.
Dell, what is with this inconsistent tech support? Are your technicians receiving adequate training? I appreciate the fact that I can use their technical support but it would be better if the knowledge level was more consistent.
Dell maybe you should change your slogan to: Helping people on the second call.
While initializing device IOS
Error: real mode system memory allocation failed
I'm not into this techno stuff so I don't really understand what goes on. Anyways, I contacted Dell and I was on the phone waiting to speak to someone for 20 minutes and then I was on the phone for an hour trying to 'cure' my computer. This person gave me a few things to do to fix the problem but nothing seemed to work. The person said that if these things don't work, I may have to reinstall Windows.
We had one more thing to try - a technical activity requiring a screwdriver where I had to remove the memory and put it in another slot, or something to that affect. I unfortunately had my guitar lesson so I had to leave.
I call today and had to wait 13 minutes. The technical support person had me restore a registry from a few days ago and this seemed to solve my problem. I probably was on the phone for 10 minutes. I don't know if this was some bandage solution but I'm just happy my computer is up and running.
Isn't that fucking ridiculous? I've had this happen before when I've called Dell's tech support. My first call usually someone gives me a bunch of things to try which don't work and then they throw out the 'you'll have to reinstall windows' bullshit. I then call a second time because I think I'll probably find a better technician since I don't believe in reinstalling windows. I end up having my problem quickly solved with none of this 'reinstall windows' bullshit.
Dell, what is with this inconsistent tech support? Are your technicians receiving adequate training? I appreciate the fact that I can use their technical support but it would be better if the knowledge level was more consistent.
Dell maybe you should change your slogan to: Helping people on the second call.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I've been watching Much Music's VJ Search. I know, I should know better. I'm 27, I'm too old to be watching what has become a station of mindless sloth. I can't help it, I've been sucked in! Most of the contestants are 21 and a few are 23, one was 28 and another 25. The 28 year was kicked off probably because she was 'fat' and 'old', even though the judges didn't directly come out and say she was too old and fat for this position. I have fat and old in quotations because these terms are what I think the judges perceive. I didn't think she was fat or old as these terms have been used in relativity.
Anyways, I wonder what I would have been like if I was 21 and auditioning for this on tv. They are so whiny and emotionally immature. I don't want to be picking on them because it's a challenging situation to be. I've occasionally had moments where my emotions get the better of me. It just looks like they are letting their emotions out of control too much.
I guess I just don't understand how people can let themselves get so emotionally worked up all the time and I don't understand why people don't know how to keep things to themselves because sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut. I've been pissed off and annoyed by people so many times but I didn't go around consistently discussing this because I find that I more I discuss negative people or what annoys me, the more miserable I feel. Oh sure I've had the occasional rant but I think that's normal.
I think when I was around 21, I was striving to be emotionally mature and since I was 18 I have been consciously working on myself spiritually. So I just wonder if these people are aware of how they come off when they complain so much about trivial things. I liked a couple of the contestants because they believed in taking the high road and not being petty.
We had some interesting discussions in my study group on Sunday. We somehow got into the discussion about why don't people realize the spiritual content of The Lord of the Rings? One woman had a couple of books that discuss the philosophies of the book/movie but many people seem to be oblivious to the spiritual nature of the story. Apparently Tolkien knew CS Lewis and Owen Barfield (Barfield was a student of Rudolf Steiner's Anthroposophy) and I believe it was Lewis and Barfield who would engage in spiritual discussions and Tolkien was absorbing the various ideas. So there's probably a bit of anthroposophy in Lord of the Rings.
I think it's pretty simple as to why people are oblivious to the spiritual content. It's because people are afraid of admitting that there's a spiritual world. Even I get afraid of my spiritual experiences and try and look for a logical explanation. I study anthroposophy, a spiritual philsophy and there are many times where I experience this fear of the spiritual world.
I find that the more sex I have, the more I want it.
I find that the less sex I have, the more I want it.
Is there no happy medium?
Anyways, I wonder what I would have been like if I was 21 and auditioning for this on tv. They are so whiny and emotionally immature. I don't want to be picking on them because it's a challenging situation to be. I've occasionally had moments where my emotions get the better of me. It just looks like they are letting their emotions out of control too much.
I guess I just don't understand how people can let themselves get so emotionally worked up all the time and I don't understand why people don't know how to keep things to themselves because sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut. I've been pissed off and annoyed by people so many times but I didn't go around consistently discussing this because I find that I more I discuss negative people or what annoys me, the more miserable I feel. Oh sure I've had the occasional rant but I think that's normal.
I think when I was around 21, I was striving to be emotionally mature and since I was 18 I have been consciously working on myself spiritually. So I just wonder if these people are aware of how they come off when they complain so much about trivial things. I liked a couple of the contestants because they believed in taking the high road and not being petty.
We had some interesting discussions in my study group on Sunday. We somehow got into the discussion about why don't people realize the spiritual content of The Lord of the Rings? One woman had a couple of books that discuss the philosophies of the book/movie but many people seem to be oblivious to the spiritual nature of the story. Apparently Tolkien knew CS Lewis and Owen Barfield (Barfield was a student of Rudolf Steiner's Anthroposophy) and I believe it was Lewis and Barfield who would engage in spiritual discussions and Tolkien was absorbing the various ideas. So there's probably a bit of anthroposophy in Lord of the Rings.
I think it's pretty simple as to why people are oblivious to the spiritual content. It's because people are afraid of admitting that there's a spiritual world. Even I get afraid of my spiritual experiences and try and look for a logical explanation. I study anthroposophy, a spiritual philsophy and there are many times where I experience this fear of the spiritual world.
I find that the more sex I have, the more I want it.
I find that the less sex I have, the more I want it.
Is there no happy medium?
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Happy Birthday Co-Creator
Today it is my mother's birthday and we went to Mandarin for lunch. I'm not a huge fan of Mandarin because I always end up feeling sick afterwards. I didn't have ice cream this time, I just had some ice cream pie dessert. I normally eat large amounts of dessert but today I didn't feel like it. I also have a tip for eating ice cream at the Mandarin. I never eat the ice cream with the ice cream bowls they supply. Instead I use the soup bowls because they are larger.
I ended up having soup and then I noticed that they offered crackers in packs of 2 so I thought I'd take some to eat for later. Every time I went up to eat I would take several packs of crackers. I now have a whole bunch of crackers in my jacket.
I also baked a cake for my mother, which is something I never do. I should become a saint. I've baked before and usually my mother and I do so together. What motivated me to bake my mother a cake? Well when it was my birthday, she tried out some new recipe. I don't remember what went wrong but the top layer of the cake was slipping and the cake was misaligned and although it tasted good, it was architectually unsound. So I complained and my mother said that when it's her birthday I should make her a cake and so I said that I will to prove that I have the skills to make an architectually sound cake unlike the one my mother created.
I'm not motivated to do good out of the goodness of my heart.
I'm motivated to do good because I think I'm vastly superior to the majority of humans and I want to prove that I can do things better.
My one friend and I, along with someone else, went out and my friend was telling me about how someone we met in Yellowknife was talking to her (as they went out last weekend) about her experience at a Biodynamic farm. This girl from Yellowknife who's in Guelph now wants to go into farming and seed making and likes the methodology of Biodynamic farms, which is an initiative of Rudolf Steiner.
My friend knows that I've been studying Steiner for quite some time but when I was in Yellowknife, no one really knew that Steiner was a passion of mine. The girl in Guelph now remembers that I was the comedian (as I do improv) and so when my friend was telling her that I know about Steiner, she was surprised. She's got one of Steiner's books.
My friend and I were discussing how nice this girl is. I didn't really know her much and only hung out with her a few times. I was telling my friend how I felt that this person was probably the kindest person I've ever met. Sure I've met some nice people in my lifetime but you could feel her kind, gentle and accepting nature very strongly. We both agreed that she was an exceptionally loving individual.
I started experiencing allergy symptoms yesterday. I started experiencing allergies 3 years ago but it started around May or the end of April.
I ended up having soup and then I noticed that they offered crackers in packs of 2 so I thought I'd take some to eat for later. Every time I went up to eat I would take several packs of crackers. I now have a whole bunch of crackers in my jacket.
I also baked a cake for my mother, which is something I never do. I should become a saint. I've baked before and usually my mother and I do so together. What motivated me to bake my mother a cake? Well when it was my birthday, she tried out some new recipe. I don't remember what went wrong but the top layer of the cake was slipping and the cake was misaligned and although it tasted good, it was architectually unsound. So I complained and my mother said that when it's her birthday I should make her a cake and so I said that I will to prove that I have the skills to make an architectually sound cake unlike the one my mother created.
I'm not motivated to do good out of the goodness of my heart.
I'm motivated to do good because I think I'm vastly superior to the majority of humans and I want to prove that I can do things better.
My one friend and I, along with someone else, went out and my friend was telling me about how someone we met in Yellowknife was talking to her (as they went out last weekend) about her experience at a Biodynamic farm. This girl from Yellowknife who's in Guelph now wants to go into farming and seed making and likes the methodology of Biodynamic farms, which is an initiative of Rudolf Steiner.
My friend knows that I've been studying Steiner for quite some time but when I was in Yellowknife, no one really knew that Steiner was a passion of mine. The girl in Guelph now remembers that I was the comedian (as I do improv) and so when my friend was telling her that I know about Steiner, she was surprised. She's got one of Steiner's books.
My friend and I were discussing how nice this girl is. I didn't really know her much and only hung out with her a few times. I was telling my friend how I felt that this person was probably the kindest person I've ever met. Sure I've met some nice people in my lifetime but you could feel her kind, gentle and accepting nature very strongly. We both agreed that she was an exceptionally loving individual.
I started experiencing allergy symptoms yesterday. I started experiencing allergies 3 years ago but it started around May or the end of April.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Narnia Dreams
I saw Narnia last night and I had this weird dream I was in a bomb shelter. But it wasn't like the regular kind. It was like an open-concept free standing building type of bomb shelter. There were glass windows which were bullet/bomb proof and I saw some bullets hitting the glass and leaving behind some indentations on the glass. Apparently everyone was preparing for the bombs because we were all required to insulate the grounds where we were to sit. And we had to use Legos for insulation to protect us from the bombs.
Thanks Narnia for inspiring that dream.
I dislike that new song by the Pussy Cat Dolls featuring Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. I saw the video last week and hearing it just gets on my nerves. What is the point of listening to a song where half the chorus is bleeped out? And is filled with taunting laughter!
I don't give a BLEEP if your looking at my BLEEP
ha ha haha hahaha
Fuck you!
I cringe when I listen to lyrics. People write lyrics that aren't grammatically correct and make no sense. Or the sentences don't gel together. What is the song about? What is the point Mr./Mrs./Ms. Artist that you are trying to make in this song?
Off now to guitar lessons.
Thanks Narnia for inspiring that dream.
I dislike that new song by the Pussy Cat Dolls featuring Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. I saw the video last week and hearing it just gets on my nerves. What is the point of listening to a song where half the chorus is bleeped out? And is filled with taunting laughter!
I don't give a BLEEP if your looking at my BLEEP
ha ha haha hahaha
Fuck you!
I cringe when I listen to lyrics. People write lyrics that aren't grammatically correct and make no sense. Or the sentences don't gel together. What is the song about? What is the point Mr./Mrs./Ms. Artist that you are trying to make in this song?
Off now to guitar lessons.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I find it so difficult to be a healthy human being in this time. So much psychological garbage to deal with. So much negativity and pettiness. So much defenses to break down. It's so difficult dealing with your own and other's insecurities. How the hell is someone to be happy, healthy and productive without killing themselves?
You say things and people misinterpret you or read into you too much and they project their own fears and insecurities onto you. You do the same, unable to see situations clearly.
Your own thoughts and ideas limit you.
You really are your own worst enemy.
Do people really believe in this idea of 'terrorists' that the media propagates? I don't think I'm the only one who believes that it's just bullshit.
Try telling that to the victims of 9-11 Paula.
A terrorist is defined as "the systematic employment of violence and intimidation to coerce a government or community especially into acceding to specific political demands"
Okay so what do these terrorists want? Have they clearly stated what they want? Or has the media stated so on their behalf?
Are these terrorists trying to 'take our freedom'?
How is that even possible? There are so many nations that are democratic, clearly democracy is growing as a political system?
Remember Hitler Paula?
Oh yeah how Hitler totally manipulated a mass of people.
I find it difficult to be social and yet to maintain my own individuality at times. More challenges in the process of becoming a healthy human being.
Is there a political gene in our DNA?
How is a Conservative (aka Republican) encoded in the DNA?
How is a Liberal (aka Democrat) encoded in the DNA?
How is a New Democrat (NDP) encoded in the DNA?
So if I'm Belinda Stronach, does that mean I have the abiility to manipulate my DNA?
How often do you think Bush has sex?
What do you think his favourite position would be?
Do you think he'd be into getting or giving oral?
Wouldn't it be nice if you could pay someone to do your thinking for you?
Or do you prefer doing your own thinking?
You say things and people misinterpret you or read into you too much and they project their own fears and insecurities onto you. You do the same, unable to see situations clearly.
Your own thoughts and ideas limit you.
You really are your own worst enemy.
Do people really believe in this idea of 'terrorists' that the media propagates? I don't think I'm the only one who believes that it's just bullshit.
Try telling that to the victims of 9-11 Paula.
A terrorist is defined as "the systematic employment of violence and intimidation to coerce a government or community especially into acceding to specific political demands"
Okay so what do these terrorists want? Have they clearly stated what they want? Or has the media stated so on their behalf?
Are these terrorists trying to 'take our freedom'?
How is that even possible? There are so many nations that are democratic, clearly democracy is growing as a political system?
Remember Hitler Paula?
Oh yeah how Hitler totally manipulated a mass of people.
I find it difficult to be social and yet to maintain my own individuality at times. More challenges in the process of becoming a healthy human being.
Is there a political gene in our DNA?
How is a Conservative (aka Republican) encoded in the DNA?
How is a Liberal (aka Democrat) encoded in the DNA?
How is a New Democrat (NDP) encoded in the DNA?
So if I'm Belinda Stronach, does that mean I have the abiility to manipulate my DNA?
How often do you think Bush has sex?
What do you think his favourite position would be?
Do you think he'd be into getting or giving oral?
Wouldn't it be nice if you could pay someone to do your thinking for you?
Or do you prefer doing your own thinking?
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Huh?
We had some man, probably in his mid to late 30s knock at our door asking for Heather. There's no Heather here. I wonder if this was some girl he was dating and she gave him the wrong address?
Weird!
Weird!
Claim it
I bought myself a music stand a few days ago so I could put my sheet music and my jazz book because it's easier to not play with a book on your lap. My guitar instructor gave me some blues chord and the general style in which they are played. Some of the chords I already knew but don't practice. A few are new and challenging. It's not easy to play the guitar especially an accoustic. I didn't think playing would be so physically demanding. My idea of demanding is lifting a tree but it's physically demanding for a small part of your body; the left hand and forearm. Now that I'm more familiar with blues, I find myself immensly enjoying it. My roomate in Yellowknife played blues alot and so that's why I wanted to learn some. I normally don't listen to blues.
I also learned chords for Holiday by Greenday and part of American Idiot. They're just power chords but one of them is challenging for me at this point.
I haven't been actively participating in the 'dating scene' but I have in my dream life, which I find amusing. I met some wealthy and successful young businessman and he had some nice home and he was in love with me and we were engaged. I had to break it off because I wasn't in love with him. I found that strange since why would I get engaged in the first place to someone whom I didn't have feelings for?
Another one I had a few days ago was I was dating someone and then he dumped me. The guys that I'm dating in my dreams don't look like anyone I've ever met.
The bebop and the swing section in my jazz book are the largest section and I'm just concentrating on them for now. I've learned 27 out of 31 licks from that section. There's another section for the bebop but it's about 6 licks. I'm going to skip to the jazz chords section either before or after I finish the bebop.
I was reading this book entitled The Wisdom of the Enneagram (a non-anthroposophical book) by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson and it's a book on personality types. I found it relevant and I seem to relate to the 8th personality which is the Challenger. There is 9 main types. The book lists the basic fear of each type and their desire. I read these type of books because I'm interested in personal inner/spiritual growth. I think inner, emotional and spiritual growth is the most important thing to do in life and it's unfortunate that the education system and our society neglects this. To me it's very practical because once you learn to pay attention and work with your inner world, it makes it easier to get along with others, to get things done effectively. I think it's relevant as well because one can choose to change the way they perceive the world. You can change things about yourself that you don't like.
Anyways, for my type the basic fear is of being harmed or controlled by others and of violation. The basic desire is to protect themselves and to determine their own course in life. For me that seems relevant to me. I'm not sure how to 'achieve' my desire to be protected but for the other aspect I have been meditating on the thought that I am in control of my life and I feel better and less tense. There were other things I felt were relevant for me and so I am working on that as well.
The book doesn't try to typecast people but it does provide a framework.
I also learned chords for Holiday by Greenday and part of American Idiot. They're just power chords but one of them is challenging for me at this point.
I haven't been actively participating in the 'dating scene' but I have in my dream life, which I find amusing. I met some wealthy and successful young businessman and he had some nice home and he was in love with me and we were engaged. I had to break it off because I wasn't in love with him. I found that strange since why would I get engaged in the first place to someone whom I didn't have feelings for?
Another one I had a few days ago was I was dating someone and then he dumped me. The guys that I'm dating in my dreams don't look like anyone I've ever met.
The bebop and the swing section in my jazz book are the largest section and I'm just concentrating on them for now. I've learned 27 out of 31 licks from that section. There's another section for the bebop but it's about 6 licks. I'm going to skip to the jazz chords section either before or after I finish the bebop.
I was reading this book entitled The Wisdom of the Enneagram (a non-anthroposophical book) by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson and it's a book on personality types. I found it relevant and I seem to relate to the 8th personality which is the Challenger. There is 9 main types. The book lists the basic fear of each type and their desire. I read these type of books because I'm interested in personal inner/spiritual growth. I think inner, emotional and spiritual growth is the most important thing to do in life and it's unfortunate that the education system and our society neglects this. To me it's very practical because once you learn to pay attention and work with your inner world, it makes it easier to get along with others, to get things done effectively. I think it's relevant as well because one can choose to change the way they perceive the world. You can change things about yourself that you don't like.
Anyways, for my type the basic fear is of being harmed or controlled by others and of violation. The basic desire is to protect themselves and to determine their own course in life. For me that seems relevant to me. I'm not sure how to 'achieve' my desire to be protected but for the other aspect I have been meditating on the thought that I am in control of my life and I feel better and less tense. There were other things I felt were relevant for me and so I am working on that as well.
The book doesn't try to typecast people but it does provide a framework.
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