Failed Marriages

Greetings all,

On the board that I post on, I had made this observation that many women who have previously been married, have a negative view of marriage. Some of us on the board, do not have this negative view because we have not been married and so have not experienced a failed marriage.

The negative view is basically they may be afraid to get married again and so would rather live common law. The second is they think marriage is just a piece of paper and so means nothing. There are other negative views but these are just a few I am pointing out.

This is all false and a lie. Marriage is a very old institute and it has stood the test of time. It has been in place for thousands of years.

What I discovered is that because they had failed, it taints their perception of this. Marriage has been proven to make people happier and live longer. It helps people be more prosperous. Of course, this is only true if you are with the right person.

If you had difficulty riding a bike and failed, you too probably would have a negative view of bikes. You would think, bikes are bad. They are no fun. You don't need a bike to have a good time and feel the exhilaration.

It bothers me that people there had this view and now after thinking out loud, it made sense to me why they have this negative view.

It's because they failed.

Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a social convention and getting married is a very public and social act that you show others that you are going to attempt a serious life commitment with another person.

One person mentioned they didn't like people's perception of common law marriage. But the fact is, we all will think common law marriages are just stepping stones. And in fact, living with someone is just that.

I know people who live common law and get married. I know people who have been divorced, lived common law and remarried. There is something to taking that leap into marriage that living common law will never provide, otherwise people would just stay forever common law and be happy with that.

For goodness sakes, even the gay community wants this 'right' that many others insult out of ignorance and their past failure.

I used to get upset at these people but now I know where they get this irrational and negative perception of marriage.

It's because they failed.

Their negative filter will not taint my perception that marriage, a union of two loving and similar souls is a positive thing and a blessing.