Pointless

Greetings all,

I have decided to leave my apartment and travel for about 6 weeks. I had originally planned to go to school part-time in May but am changing it to full time since I got laid off from my job.

I told my mom my plans to travel and this upsets her. I spend, what I think is a ridiculous amount on rent. Heck, anything over $600 is ridiculous to me because I'm basically giving away money to someone for nothing, just the chance to borrow their space which they get to profit from.

I want to do service work and researched this online. Many companies offer you a volunteer placement but there is some cost involved. Some seem more expensive then others. Cost includes living expenses and food. The companies do make some money from it. I decided I'd rather find my own volunteer placement since I don't want to pay to volunteer.

For me, since I have been out of work and laid off 3 times in the past 4 years I have given up on finding a job. I never could find work this time of year so why waste it being miserable searching? I've learned this from EXPERIENCE. My parents think I should keep trying but it's fruitless. I really truly believe in my heart and mind that I will not find a job this time of year. Maybe when I return in April, I will have better luck in finding something part-time. For me I just feel it would be pointless. My parents have no clue what it's like.

I really think I'll be lucky if I can buy a house at 40 at the way things are going for me. I know I am probably more negative because of my Seasonal Affective Disorder but I just don't know anyone who has been laid off as I have in such a short span. I would be lying if I said this was the last straw. I was only at my job for 5 months and they let people go. This has been too much to bear for me. I have been POOR for 4 years and only able to afford basic living expenses like food and rent.

My mother wants me to see a counsellor but they cost money. My doctor is in Hamilton and I have yet to find a new one because we have a doctor shortage in our country. And if I want to see a counsellor outside my doctor's office I probably will have to pay for it. Our medical system is a joke. I don't support our pharmaceutical approach to medical and yet I have no choice and if I want to use alternative medicine like the orthomolecular or a naturalpathic doctor, I have to pay for one out of my own pocket.

Our country is a joke. The way people organize our country is a joke. The way corporations can screw around its employees is a joke. Life is a joke but the joke is on people like me.