Men!

Greetings all,

Yesterday someone subscribed to one of my You Tube pages. I was surprised to see that it was the guy from England whom I corresponded with a long time ago, whom I nicknamed The English Muffin.

I currently have a boyfriend (Old Man Winter) of over 5 months. Part of me still missed him and wished that he would send me an email and we could reconcile. Another part of me was trying so hard to forgot about him and wanted to move on.

I was so upset to see him subscribe because to me it meant he wants something from me. He either wants friendship or the pseudo relationship we had.

And I was pissed.

My current boyfriend treats me well. He cooks for me on occasion. He is good in bed. He picks me up at my place because I don't have a car. He walks me to my door. We talk pretty much every day.

The English Muffin. What has he done? He'd make up excuses he was too busy to always talk to me. Yes there was a 5 hour time difference and I could live with the fact that we'd not always get to talk but by the end we were just talking once or twice a week. What's the point of that? I was getting crumbs from him. He wanted me to visit him. Again. I had already went to see him and it was his time. He'd come up with a lame excuse but then I learned later on he went to Vancouver to visit his friend and a year ago started to work in Afghanistan.

Right, like I want that in my life.

I figured because a part of me pined for him, I'd be happy he was reaching out to me but all I feel is anger. He broke my heart and I just won't tolerate it. I don't trust him. He's going to have to do a heck lot more if he even gets the chance to be my friend.

I'm not here for his convenience. I'm not some toy that he can talk to when he's bored and needs a good laugh. We met on eharmony and I was looking for a meaningful, long term relationship. I don't know what he was looking for but I'm just not going to get involved.

I can't believe the nerve of someone, trying to reconcile after 2 years. Get lost I say! Too little, too late. I tried to work things out but all he could do was ignore me. Every time there was conflict, he'd ignore me for months. This was not healthy behaviour.

Relationships are 2 way streets and if you just don't want to do your part, then what's the point? I just won't be involved with someone who just doesn't reciprocate.