Evil manifests itself in an individual and can manifest itself in groups and institutions. Evil that is manifested in groups is known as collective evil. Examples of Group evil can arise in a social group of friends (say of 5 people), the army, schools and the media.
Typically when evil arises in a group, it ends up becoming its own entity and taking a life of its own. The group manifests something that is not of them but is a result of their working together. One movie that illustrates the nature of group evil can be found in The Corporation, which is a documentary that shows how the majority of corporations running today possess sociopathic tendencies because they only care about pleasing the shareholders and making a profit. They do not care about laying people off and that they are destructive to the environment. Corporations become like narcisstic children who can only think of their own interests when they choose to think of only their only needs.
In these types of situations, no one person is to blame, due to specialization. Specialization has allowed for evil to flourish as it allows people to pass responsibility onto another department.
Evil grows because it seeks an environment that is receptive to it. Group evil flourishes when individuals stop thinking for themselves and submit themselves to the will of the group. The group as a result takes on a mind of its own and it allows people to do things they normally would not do on their own.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Becoming an Anthroposophist: a brief explanation of my journey
My study group has read many anthroposophical books by Rudolf Steiner. One we read a while ago a book called Anthroposophical Leading Thoughts. This book basically is a series of letters Steiner writes for those in the Anthroposophical Society and for more advanced students. My favourite part of the book was the first paragraph as I feel for me, it states to me what anthroposophy means to me. I'll include the paragraph below.
"Anthroposophy is a path of knowledge, to guide the Spiritual in the human being to the Spiritual in the universe. It arises in man as a need of the heart, of the life of feeling; and it can be justified only inasmuch as it can satisfy this inner need. He alone can acknowledge Anthroposophy, who finds in it what he himself in his own inner life feels impelled to seek. Hence only they can be anthroposophists who feel certain questions on the nature of man and the universe as an elemental need of life, just as one feels hunger and thirst."
I'm sure this quote may be misinterpreted but to me this quote really summarizes what draws me to anthroposophy. I felt a great need for spiritual ideas early in my life. By the time I was 20, I was dying spiritually inside. I was experiencing an existential crisis. I was introduced to anthroposphy by my first boyfriend, who actually denied to several people that I was even his girlfriend. My first love, who also tormented my soul, led me to one man's body of work who had such a huge influence in my life. His father was a reader of Steiner and my boyfriend suggested that I look into it. I took out 3 books from the public library and the first 2 books I read of his, I thought were completely stupid and I did not get it. It wasn't until I read the third book, Theosophy, that I understood and enjoyed what he was writing about.
I started reading Steiner around July 1999. I finished my first year of university that year and was quite lost internally. I was working at Stelco (a steel factory) for the summer and I would read Steiner during my shift as I was a tester and there was about 15 minutes in between tests. Some of his ideas may be perceived as unusual but when I read him, I understand many of his ideas and I 'intuitively' understood them. I don't understand how I could understand these ideas but they just made sense to me. I've always questioned why I had this compulsion to read his work. In my early 20s I yearned to just be normal like everyone else my age. I just wanted to be getting drunk every weekend and having mindless sex. I didn't want to be so concerned about life and the deeper questions of life. Why couldn't I be shallow and mindless?
My study group is comprised of people over 40. The only other young person there who is around my age moved out of town a few years ago although he does join us for social activities like when we have a dinner or potluck. I think he has the same experience in reading as I do, in that he intuitively understands the content.
I feel unique because of my intense need for spirituality and I certainly do not want to believe that I am the only one who feels this intense need. It was nice to have him around as it's nice to talk to someone in your age group.
I've looked into other spiritual philosophies and religious ideas but I always find myself finding deep spiritual nourishment in anthroposophy.
Spiritual hunger.
Where does it come from?
I've met some people who I thought were nice people but they didn't believe in a spiritual world. While the people may be kind and compassionate, I just don't understand how such evolved people could deny this. While I myself have questioned the existence of a spiritual world, as any seeker would, I really believe that the material world as we see it, is just one part of reality.
In my study group, we have had discussions about how anthroposophy is a need of one's heart. I can't force someone to study it because it has to be something that comes from within you. We all have needs in our hearts and we can't force our personal agendas onto people's hearts.
"Anthroposophy is a path of knowledge, to guide the Spiritual in the human being to the Spiritual in the universe. It arises in man as a need of the heart, of the life of feeling; and it can be justified only inasmuch as it can satisfy this inner need. He alone can acknowledge Anthroposophy, who finds in it what he himself in his own inner life feels impelled to seek. Hence only they can be anthroposophists who feel certain questions on the nature of man and the universe as an elemental need of life, just as one feels hunger and thirst."
I'm sure this quote may be misinterpreted but to me this quote really summarizes what draws me to anthroposophy. I felt a great need for spiritual ideas early in my life. By the time I was 20, I was dying spiritually inside. I was experiencing an existential crisis. I was introduced to anthroposphy by my first boyfriend, who actually denied to several people that I was even his girlfriend. My first love, who also tormented my soul, led me to one man's body of work who had such a huge influence in my life. His father was a reader of Steiner and my boyfriend suggested that I look into it. I took out 3 books from the public library and the first 2 books I read of his, I thought were completely stupid and I did not get it. It wasn't until I read the third book, Theosophy, that I understood and enjoyed what he was writing about.
I started reading Steiner around July 1999. I finished my first year of university that year and was quite lost internally. I was working at Stelco (a steel factory) for the summer and I would read Steiner during my shift as I was a tester and there was about 15 minutes in between tests. Some of his ideas may be perceived as unusual but when I read him, I understand many of his ideas and I 'intuitively' understood them. I don't understand how I could understand these ideas but they just made sense to me. I've always questioned why I had this compulsion to read his work. In my early 20s I yearned to just be normal like everyone else my age. I just wanted to be getting drunk every weekend and having mindless sex. I didn't want to be so concerned about life and the deeper questions of life. Why couldn't I be shallow and mindless?
My study group is comprised of people over 40. The only other young person there who is around my age moved out of town a few years ago although he does join us for social activities like when we have a dinner or potluck. I think he has the same experience in reading as I do, in that he intuitively understands the content.
I feel unique because of my intense need for spirituality and I certainly do not want to believe that I am the only one who feels this intense need. It was nice to have him around as it's nice to talk to someone in your age group.
I've looked into other spiritual philosophies and religious ideas but I always find myself finding deep spiritual nourishment in anthroposophy.
Spiritual hunger.
Where does it come from?
I've met some people who I thought were nice people but they didn't believe in a spiritual world. While the people may be kind and compassionate, I just don't understand how such evolved people could deny this. While I myself have questioned the existence of a spiritual world, as any seeker would, I really believe that the material world as we see it, is just one part of reality.
In my study group, we have had discussions about how anthroposophy is a need of one's heart. I can't force someone to study it because it has to be something that comes from within you. We all have needs in our hearts and we can't force our personal agendas onto people's hearts.
A Steiner quote
"People go through the world with far more hatred than they think - far more antipathy at least. It is a fact of life: hatred gives satisfaction to the soul, and for this reason, as a rule, it is not at first experienced in consciousness. It is eclipsed by the satisfaction it gives."
Rudolf Steiner Karmic Relationships Volume 1
Rudolf Steiner Karmic Relationships Volume 1
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Evil from an Anthroposophical Perspective - Part 1: The Origins of Evil
Greetings all,
I have decided to publish my essay that I wrote back in 2005 when I took the Foundation Studies course at the Rudolf Steiner Centre.
I decided to research Steiner's works on Evil as I find evil a fascinating topic because if one truly wants to live ethically and morally in this life, we must face evil with courage and we must examine it deeply to understand its true nature.
My entire essay is 11 pages so I will break it down in several pieces. Steiner's philosophy is based on his experiences of being able to perceive spiritual realities and that includes things such as angels or the dead. You may not believe in these things but please read and be open to the possibility. This can be an exercise to train one's thinking.
Enjoy!
The Origins of Evil
Evil has always been an important spiritual and philosophical topic for humans. I will briefly introduce some views on how people try to make sense of evil and its origin.
I will begin with the view of evil by the Stoics, a group of 4th and 3rd century B.C. of Greek philosophers who base their views on the teachings of Socrates and Plato. They tried to figure how one should live in the world and the came up with the Ideal concept of the Wise Man, one who has managed to conquer their emotions and passions. They believed that the ego needed clarity in the world but was clouded by their emotions and passions and so it was necessary to overcome this. They also believed that humans were free to choose this Ideal. They could choose to descend into a lower realm where they would let their emotions and passions run freely.
Saint Augustine believed that evil and wrongdoing did not exist but were negations or absence of good. He believed finite beings had weaknesses and could not continually do good deeds. As a result of this failure, good is limited and whatever is remaining, i.e. the shadow side is simply the absence of good. This view is simplistic because it is like saying coldness is simply the absence of warmth.
A common view on the origin of evil is that because humans live in matter, this creates a hindrance for the human spirit. The source of evil is the immersion of spirit in matter. Neo-Platonist, Plotinus, believed this.
Japanese philosopher Nakae Toju who lived in 17th century had a similar view. He saw the world as duality. Ri, was a realm of spirit and Ki was a realm of physical nature. Humans have both aspects and due to the combination of these two realms, human will and desires emerges. This creates the potential for evil.
Jacob Boehme believed that in order to become self aware, divine beings needed to encounter opposition. For example, when we wake up in the morning we become aware of ourselves by encountering objects in the physical world. He believes other beings cannot give us this opposition and that we have to be our own adversary and set boundaries within ourselves by creating this opposite.
Herman Lotze was a 19th century philosopher. For Lotze, the reality of evil in ourselves and in the world could not be denied. He believed that evil represents a threshold to our powers of perception. He rejected Leibniz’s idea that although much evil exists, this was the best possible world. Lotze argued that we could not claim God to be omnipotent if we attribute evil and wrong doing to a divine source and by doing so we would limit God’s omnipotence. Lotze’s conclusion was that the existence of good and evil must be due to a divine wisdom that we cannot fathom and which we are not capable of perceiving. He transfers our understanding of evil and wrong into an unknown and inaccessible world of wisdom.
For Steiner, the basic characteristic of the evil emanating from humans is egotism (selfishness). From the smallest oversight to the most horrible of crimes, egotism is the fundamental trait. We cannot seek the origin of evil in actions and deeds but must look upon the underlying tendencies.
There is a paradox that arises. When one prepares to enter the spiritual worlds, the forces that lead to egotism must be strengthened. If we only lived in the spirit world, we would only be able to develop inner capacities. It is only in the physical world where we develop morality and altruism. In the physical world we find the conditions to overcome this egotism. Our soul appears as a duality of spirit and matter. When it is the spiritual world, it must focus on itself and develop its inner strength and capacities whereas on earth it must learn to grow out of and beyond itself and unfold the capacities it developed in the spiritual world, so that it can be of significance and worth for the world.
For us this means that we must not transfer something that belongs in one world to another. Essentially everything has its place in the world and evil can arise when we take it out from where it belongs. Something good can become evil if it is being misapplied.
Another paradox is that when ascending into the spiritual world, we must penetrate it without egotism yet we must penetrate it with egotism.
The origin of evil is our higher nature. We have a potential for evil because we are spiritual beings.
Qualities such as cruelty and malice in the physical world, if withdrawn and applied to the spiritual world can become qualities that advance and perfect us.
It is our egotism that is responsible for how we apply these qualities. We can use them for productive and helpful reasons or for more destructive purposes, depending on how much egotism lives in us.
It is for this reason that philosophers like Lotze believe that our understanding of evil is inaccessible. His perceptual faculties are not prepared to perceive the spiritual world and evil cannot be explained in physical terms since is it a misuse of forces that are of the spiritual world. Any philosopher who disregards the world of spirit is unable to trace the origin of evil.
I have decided to publish my essay that I wrote back in 2005 when I took the Foundation Studies course at the Rudolf Steiner Centre.
I decided to research Steiner's works on Evil as I find evil a fascinating topic because if one truly wants to live ethically and morally in this life, we must face evil with courage and we must examine it deeply to understand its true nature.
My entire essay is 11 pages so I will break it down in several pieces. Steiner's philosophy is based on his experiences of being able to perceive spiritual realities and that includes things such as angels or the dead. You may not believe in these things but please read and be open to the possibility. This can be an exercise to train one's thinking.
Enjoy!
The Origins of Evil
Evil has always been an important spiritual and philosophical topic for humans. I will briefly introduce some views on how people try to make sense of evil and its origin.
I will begin with the view of evil by the Stoics, a group of 4th and 3rd century B.C. of Greek philosophers who base their views on the teachings of Socrates and Plato. They tried to figure how one should live in the world and the came up with the Ideal concept of the Wise Man, one who has managed to conquer their emotions and passions. They believed that the ego needed clarity in the world but was clouded by their emotions and passions and so it was necessary to overcome this. They also believed that humans were free to choose this Ideal. They could choose to descend into a lower realm where they would let their emotions and passions run freely.
Saint Augustine believed that evil and wrongdoing did not exist but were negations or absence of good. He believed finite beings had weaknesses and could not continually do good deeds. As a result of this failure, good is limited and whatever is remaining, i.e. the shadow side is simply the absence of good. This view is simplistic because it is like saying coldness is simply the absence of warmth.
A common view on the origin of evil is that because humans live in matter, this creates a hindrance for the human spirit. The source of evil is the immersion of spirit in matter. Neo-Platonist, Plotinus, believed this.
Japanese philosopher Nakae Toju who lived in 17th century had a similar view. He saw the world as duality. Ri, was a realm of spirit and Ki was a realm of physical nature. Humans have both aspects and due to the combination of these two realms, human will and desires emerges. This creates the potential for evil.
Jacob Boehme believed that in order to become self aware, divine beings needed to encounter opposition. For example, when we wake up in the morning we become aware of ourselves by encountering objects in the physical world. He believes other beings cannot give us this opposition and that we have to be our own adversary and set boundaries within ourselves by creating this opposite.
Herman Lotze was a 19th century philosopher. For Lotze, the reality of evil in ourselves and in the world could not be denied. He believed that evil represents a threshold to our powers of perception. He rejected Leibniz’s idea that although much evil exists, this was the best possible world. Lotze argued that we could not claim God to be omnipotent if we attribute evil and wrong doing to a divine source and by doing so we would limit God’s omnipotence. Lotze’s conclusion was that the existence of good and evil must be due to a divine wisdom that we cannot fathom and which we are not capable of perceiving. He transfers our understanding of evil and wrong into an unknown and inaccessible world of wisdom.
For Steiner, the basic characteristic of the evil emanating from humans is egotism (selfishness). From the smallest oversight to the most horrible of crimes, egotism is the fundamental trait. We cannot seek the origin of evil in actions and deeds but must look upon the underlying tendencies.
There is a paradox that arises. When one prepares to enter the spiritual worlds, the forces that lead to egotism must be strengthened. If we only lived in the spirit world, we would only be able to develop inner capacities. It is only in the physical world where we develop morality and altruism. In the physical world we find the conditions to overcome this egotism. Our soul appears as a duality of spirit and matter. When it is the spiritual world, it must focus on itself and develop its inner strength and capacities whereas on earth it must learn to grow out of and beyond itself and unfold the capacities it developed in the spiritual world, so that it can be of significance and worth for the world.
For us this means that we must not transfer something that belongs in one world to another. Essentially everything has its place in the world and evil can arise when we take it out from where it belongs. Something good can become evil if it is being misapplied.
Another paradox is that when ascending into the spiritual world, we must penetrate it without egotism yet we must penetrate it with egotism.
The origin of evil is our higher nature. We have a potential for evil because we are spiritual beings.
Qualities such as cruelty and malice in the physical world, if withdrawn and applied to the spiritual world can become qualities that advance and perfect us.
It is our egotism that is responsible for how we apply these qualities. We can use them for productive and helpful reasons or for more destructive purposes, depending on how much egotism lives in us.
It is for this reason that philosophers like Lotze believe that our understanding of evil is inaccessible. His perceptual faculties are not prepared to perceive the spiritual world and evil cannot be explained in physical terms since is it a misuse of forces that are of the spiritual world. Any philosopher who disregards the world of spirit is unable to trace the origin of evil.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Viva la France!
Greetings and salutations,
I am officially going to England, France and Spain on May 23 or 24. I booked 2 weeks off work. I haven't booked the flight yet but will wait last minute. I am hoping to leave on Friday night so that I can arrive Saturday morning. I will be backpacking across the 3 countries. I will start out in England and leave from Spain. I want to see Stonehedge and visit London. In France, I want to see crypts and catacombs and I think I'll spend lots of time in Paris getting cultured. I also want to check out Normandy. In Spain, I don't have anything that I feel I need to see. I do want to go Barcelona and Madrid.
I have this feeling that I'll probably enjoy being in Paris. I am more interested in experiencing the different culture and atmosphere of these countries.
I think I will also try and get some International Dick as well. As much as I've enjoyed being pleasured by the Canadian stock, it is time to get some international lovin' and to show other nations how wonderful Canadian women are.
I'm also no longer with my English Muffin so my goal now is to bed a man in each country I visit. In theory I can do this, however, since I am super picky, I may have a hard time finding someone who I would be willing to bed.
I'm happy that I get to travel. Going away last year made me realize how much I've denied myself the pleasure of travel and so now I plan to see more of the world.
* * *
I had mentioned that I am no longer with my English Muffin and unfortunately it did not work out for reasons I shall not disclose at this time. Although technically he was not my official boyfriend, we were still allowed to see other people since we never actually met. I did go on a couple of dates with a couple of guys but it didn't work out so now I am back to searching full-time for a new boyfriend.
I'm not really worried because I'm sure I'll find someone whom I can settle down with. I'm surprised I haven't been snatched up because I really think I am a great catch. I'm easy to get along with and am smart, funny and nice. It is true that I am a bit of an eccentric, but that's what makes me more interesting.
* * *
I found out one of my plants has mealy bugs. It looked like there was this white fungus on it and I did see some insects but apparently they secret this honeydew and now my plant seems to be dying. I bought some spray and sprayed the plant last night. The bugs are on the underside of the leaf so it'll be a bit more difficult to get to it. I am hoping I can save it because it is turning brown on some leaves.
I only have 3 other plants but they are spread out in my apartment so they probably won't get infected. The plant only cost me $13 but I want to try to save it. I think it is possible since some leaves still look decent.
Evil mealy bugs, you have met your match!
I am officially going to England, France and Spain on May 23 or 24. I booked 2 weeks off work. I haven't booked the flight yet but will wait last minute. I am hoping to leave on Friday night so that I can arrive Saturday morning. I will be backpacking across the 3 countries. I will start out in England and leave from Spain. I want to see Stonehedge and visit London. In France, I want to see crypts and catacombs and I think I'll spend lots of time in Paris getting cultured. I also want to check out Normandy. In Spain, I don't have anything that I feel I need to see. I do want to go Barcelona and Madrid.
I have this feeling that I'll probably enjoy being in Paris. I am more interested in experiencing the different culture and atmosphere of these countries.
I think I will also try and get some International Dick as well. As much as I've enjoyed being pleasured by the Canadian stock, it is time to get some international lovin' and to show other nations how wonderful Canadian women are.
I'm also no longer with my English Muffin so my goal now is to bed a man in each country I visit. In theory I can do this, however, since I am super picky, I may have a hard time finding someone who I would be willing to bed.
I'm happy that I get to travel. Going away last year made me realize how much I've denied myself the pleasure of travel and so now I plan to see more of the world.
I had mentioned that I am no longer with my English Muffin and unfortunately it did not work out for reasons I shall not disclose at this time. Although technically he was not my official boyfriend, we were still allowed to see other people since we never actually met. I did go on a couple of dates with a couple of guys but it didn't work out so now I am back to searching full-time for a new boyfriend.
I'm not really worried because I'm sure I'll find someone whom I can settle down with. I'm surprised I haven't been snatched up because I really think I am a great catch. I'm easy to get along with and am smart, funny and nice. It is true that I am a bit of an eccentric, but that's what makes me more interesting.
I found out one of my plants has mealy bugs. It looked like there was this white fungus on it and I did see some insects but apparently they secret this honeydew and now my plant seems to be dying. I bought some spray and sprayed the plant last night. The bugs are on the underside of the leaf so it'll be a bit more difficult to get to it. I am hoping I can save it because it is turning brown on some leaves.
I only have 3 other plants but they are spread out in my apartment so they probably won't get infected. The plant only cost me $13 but I want to try to save it. I think it is possible since some leaves still look decent.
Evil mealy bugs, you have met your match!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Intuition
Greetings and Salutations,
Today I had a really intuitive/psychic moment. I have been buying the Tim Horton's medium hot chocolate lately so that I can play their Roll Up the Rim to win game (which I haven't won yet and I am rather bitter about). Normally they cost $1.23 but today when I was originally thinking about just bringing to Tim's (I work in the mall and they have a Tim's) the $1.23 in change, but after some thought, I decided that maybe I should bring my wallet because I had this odd feeling that the price went up.
So when I went down to get my medium hot chocolate, the price actually did go up 5 cents and cost me $1.28.
I didn't win at the Roll up the Rim contest but I was happy that I had this intuitive moment.
I sometimes have trouble listening to my intuition because sometimes my emotions get the better of me. Whether it is my fear or anger or my doubting things, I'll sometimes just not grasp the various intuitions I get.
I admit that I don't listen to things when I should be.
I don't know if it's because I don't trust myself sometimes but I do try and listen to it. Sadly there are many things that get in the way of me hearing things clearly but I do work on keeping my intuitive channel clear through my meditation and qigong practice.
Today I had a really intuitive/psychic moment. I have been buying the Tim Horton's medium hot chocolate lately so that I can play their Roll Up the Rim to win game (which I haven't won yet and I am rather bitter about). Normally they cost $1.23 but today when I was originally thinking about just bringing to Tim's (I work in the mall and they have a Tim's) the $1.23 in change, but after some thought, I decided that maybe I should bring my wallet because I had this odd feeling that the price went up.
So when I went down to get my medium hot chocolate, the price actually did go up 5 cents and cost me $1.28.
I didn't win at the Roll up the Rim contest but I was happy that I had this intuitive moment.
I sometimes have trouble listening to my intuition because sometimes my emotions get the better of me. Whether it is my fear or anger or my doubting things, I'll sometimes just not grasp the various intuitions I get.
I admit that I don't listen to things when I should be.
I don't know if it's because I don't trust myself sometimes but I do try and listen to it. Sadly there are many things that get in the way of me hearing things clearly but I do work on keeping my intuitive channel clear through my meditation and qigong practice.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
I'm Busy
Greetings and Salutations,
One of the common expressions that I loathe to hear from people is the expression "I'm busy" or "I've been busy" or "I'm too busy". I find people will use that as an excuse for their own laziness or the fact that maybe they just don't care about people and can't be bothered to make the effort to communicate with them or because they don't have the courage to admit that they don't want to do various activities or are trying to avoid people and/or things.
I remember my first boyfriend after a while started saying that to me and it always bothered me. He could have just told me that he wasn't interested in me anymore and break up with me but he kept stringing me along. I don't believe anyone can ever be too busy. I believe that you "make time". It doesn't take long to tell someone that you miss them or that you care about them. With the technology we have today, you can send someone a simple email and it will only take a minute.
Are you that important that you can't even spare one minute of your day to tell someone that you care about them or miss them?
I will never use the expression "I'm too busy" because I believe that I make time for things. I am like everyone else in that I only have 24 hours a day but I spend them wisely and I get shit done. I have wasted time in my life but I do try to live my life as efficiently as possible. I also manage to have lots of fun in my life. I manage to exercise and meditate and eat right and maintain a full time job.
I believe people perceive themself as busy because they don't know how to manage stress and stress creates the perception of busyness. People as well make themself feel busy so that they don't actually have to deal with their own personal issues. There really is no excuse for neglecting your friendships and relationships because you are too busy.
I bring up this topic because I am tired of hearing people use it. Life is precious and the people in your life are precious. Why can't you just demonstrate basic common courtesy instead of being so self absorbed and so selfish? Everyone in this life is busy to some degree.
One of the common expressions that I loathe to hear from people is the expression "I'm busy" or "I've been busy" or "I'm too busy". I find people will use that as an excuse for their own laziness or the fact that maybe they just don't care about people and can't be bothered to make the effort to communicate with them or because they don't have the courage to admit that they don't want to do various activities or are trying to avoid people and/or things.
I remember my first boyfriend after a while started saying that to me and it always bothered me. He could have just told me that he wasn't interested in me anymore and break up with me but he kept stringing me along. I don't believe anyone can ever be too busy. I believe that you "make time". It doesn't take long to tell someone that you miss them or that you care about them. With the technology we have today, you can send someone a simple email and it will only take a minute.
Are you that important that you can't even spare one minute of your day to tell someone that you care about them or miss them?
I will never use the expression "I'm too busy" because I believe that I make time for things. I am like everyone else in that I only have 24 hours a day but I spend them wisely and I get shit done. I have wasted time in my life but I do try to live my life as efficiently as possible. I also manage to have lots of fun in my life. I manage to exercise and meditate and eat right and maintain a full time job.
I believe people perceive themself as busy because they don't know how to manage stress and stress creates the perception of busyness. People as well make themself feel busy so that they don't actually have to deal with their own personal issues. There really is no excuse for neglecting your friendships and relationships because you are too busy.
I bring up this topic because I am tired of hearing people use it. Life is precious and the people in your life are precious. Why can't you just demonstrate basic common courtesy instead of being so self absorbed and so selfish? Everyone in this life is busy to some degree.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Somewhat Rational
Greetings and Salutations,
Okay so my previous post was rather melancholic but I'm such a moody person I end up feeling other moods quickly.
I do have a melancholic tendency which has its pros and cons. The main con being is that I'm like totally an emo type personality but due to my somewhat stubborn nature, I will not even admit that I am a bit emo and at least in this blog I am admitting to it.
Yes everything can seem so awful and impossible to overcome.
And hopeless.
The only pro about being a melancholic person is that I am sensitive to things and can feel the pain of others and imagine their suffering.
Anyways, I hate talking about myself so much on a personal level.
* * *
I have managed to do 3 more open mic stand up shows this month and it reminds me how much I am meant to be on stage. I sometimes deny myself pleasure possible due to lack of confidence but I at least feel happier that I am working towards something that I enjoy. That I can believe in. I'm tired of working for 'the man'. I want to be my own boss and be the master of my own destiny.
I feel like such an idiot sometimes. I feel like I've wasted so much time but I try not to think about it too much and just focus on what I need to do.
Feeling like an idiot is a good thing because at least it is making me feel some humbleness and making me realize I may not have been thinking as clearly as I thought I was.
Fuck I have issues.
* * *
I am still talking with my English Muffin and I plan on doing my Europe trip in May (England France and Spain). I've been talking with him for 3 months and I am hopelessly insane. I sometimes feel like I can never be in a happy relationship. I'm insane. I'm eccentric. I'm unpredictable. Who would want me?
I'm needy. I'm high maintenance. I need constant assurance. I need to have sex fairly regularly. I'm demanding.
I can't be in a relationship with someone. I'll drive them away with my unrelenting obsessive nature.
Fuck I have issues.
* * *
I've had a few people tell me that I am brave for trying stand up. I say no fucking way. I get up and I want them to like. It's like being on a first date every fucking show that you do. Oh my god am I too weird, do they like me, do I look too intimidating or ugly, what if they misunderstand what I say.
And then at some point, you get over that.
But then it comes back when you do another show.
Okay so my previous post was rather melancholic but I'm such a moody person I end up feeling other moods quickly.
I do have a melancholic tendency which has its pros and cons. The main con being is that I'm like totally an emo type personality but due to my somewhat stubborn nature, I will not even admit that I am a bit emo and at least in this blog I am admitting to it.
Yes everything can seem so awful and impossible to overcome.
And hopeless.
The only pro about being a melancholic person is that I am sensitive to things and can feel the pain of others and imagine their suffering.
Anyways, I hate talking about myself so much on a personal level.
I have managed to do 3 more open mic stand up shows this month and it reminds me how much I am meant to be on stage. I sometimes deny myself pleasure possible due to lack of confidence but I at least feel happier that I am working towards something that I enjoy. That I can believe in. I'm tired of working for 'the man'. I want to be my own boss and be the master of my own destiny.
I feel like such an idiot sometimes. I feel like I've wasted so much time but I try not to think about it too much and just focus on what I need to do.
Feeling like an idiot is a good thing because at least it is making me feel some humbleness and making me realize I may not have been thinking as clearly as I thought I was.
Fuck I have issues.
I am still talking with my English Muffin and I plan on doing my Europe trip in May (England France and Spain). I've been talking with him for 3 months and I am hopelessly insane. I sometimes feel like I can never be in a happy relationship. I'm insane. I'm eccentric. I'm unpredictable. Who would want me?
I'm needy. I'm high maintenance. I need constant assurance. I need to have sex fairly regularly. I'm demanding.
I can't be in a relationship with someone. I'll drive them away with my unrelenting obsessive nature.
Fuck I have issues.
I've had a few people tell me that I am brave for trying stand up. I say no fucking way. I get up and I want them to like. It's like being on a first date every fucking show that you do. Oh my god am I too weird, do they like me, do I look too intimidating or ugly, what if they misunderstand what I say.
And then at some point, you get over that.
But then it comes back when you do another show.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Melancholic Time
Greetings and Salutations,
Things just don't like they are going well for me. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever find true happiness.
It seems like I'll never find a place to fit in. I just float along in this universe as a lone partical unable to find some semblance of belonging.
I see people who seem happy with their jobs and their partners. I don't have that. I feel like I'll never have that now. I've been searching for so long. Trying hard for so long. I sometimes think I must have been a really bad person in a past life or something.
What is the point of life if I can never attain happiness?
What is the point of it all if I can never attain my simple desires?
I lead a perpetual unfulfilling life.
Things just don't like they are going well for me. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever find true happiness.
It seems like I'll never find a place to fit in. I just float along in this universe as a lone partical unable to find some semblance of belonging.
I see people who seem happy with their jobs and their partners. I don't have that. I feel like I'll never have that now. I've been searching for so long. Trying hard for so long. I sometimes think I must have been a really bad person in a past life or something.
What is the point of life if I can never attain happiness?
What is the point of it all if I can never attain my simple desires?
I lead a perpetual unfulfilling life.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
A New Blog
Greetings and Salutations,
I have decided to keep track of my kettlebell workouts with an online training blog. The address is: Lucid I Kettlebell Training
I have created this as it will be an easy way for me to track my exercise and to make sure that I keep going.
I have decided to keep track of my kettlebell workouts with an online training blog. The address is: Lucid I Kettlebell Training
I have created this as it will be an easy way for me to track my exercise and to make sure that I keep going.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Randomness
Greetings and Salutations,
Today is a new holiday for those in Ontario. It is called Family Day and today I am spending it organizing my accounting for income tax.
* * *
I am still doing my kettlebells and I have lost an inch around my hips (which includes my stomach area).
* * *
I have a potential boyfriend who happens to live in.... England.
I have nicknamed him my English Muffin.
We have been emailing each other since September and have started talking on the phone Boxing Day. We started using Skype after a few calls and we both bought webcams so that we can see each other. We met on Eharmony. I only took out a 6 month subscription which recently ended.
Eharmony asks you various survey questions and sends you matches based on 29 different dimensions of compatibility. My English Muffin, whose real name is Daniel, and I seem fairly compatible and oddly enough use our credit cards the same way. I pay my credit card in full but also if I plan on making some bigger purchases, I will wait until the beginning of the billing cycle so that I end up not paying for it until the following month.
He plans on coming here in the beginning of March. He is only 1 inch taller then me, which may be a turnoff or it may not. I usually like someone to be a few inches taller then me. I don't want to feel like I'm the bigger one in a relationship, which is why I generally find really skinny men unattractive since I am more curvy.
Other physical concerns I have are penis size (it has to at least be the minimum of 6 inches give or take a centimetre...anyone who says size doesn't matter is lying) which will affect the sex. The sex has to be decent. I do believe people can become better in pleasing their partners, but there has to be some skill and some passion involved.
Also I have to smell him. I have mentioned in earlier entries the importance of a guy to smell nice. Everyone has their own personal smell and their own personal smell down there. I have to like how it smells. Down There.
Alright, I am not just a superficial prick, I do have other important things to look out for as well. Forming trust is important so we seem to be communicating openly and well with each other. I am generally not a naive person so I am keeping my eyes open for any potential red flags.
We do talk alot. One of our conversations, actually it was on January 12 and I remember that date since I was planning to go out dancing for my birthday (which was the 13th) we ended up talking on Skype (which my coworker thinks sounds like an STD) for 8 hours. We usually get to chat more on the weekends as there is a 5 hour time difference but usually we will talk once or twice during the week. We frequently email each other so at least we know what each other is up to.
I think it is going well thus far. I probably have more to share but I won't at this point. I look foward to meeting him as I think he is totally hot and I want to jump his bones.
* * *
I have done an open mic night at the Rivoli on February 4. I have another one booked in March and one this week. I'm going to be experimenting and figuring out where I want to go. I feel like comedy is one of my obsessions, I have to take it to the next level. It's very weird for me but I think perhaps something I should try.
I have been rather conflicted about comedy and where does it fit into my life. I hope this year I make some progress, whether comedy is something I should pursue professional or just leave it as a hobby.
Today is a new holiday for those in Ontario. It is called Family Day and today I am spending it organizing my accounting for income tax.
I am still doing my kettlebells and I have lost an inch around my hips (which includes my stomach area).
I have a potential boyfriend who happens to live in.... England.
I have nicknamed him my English Muffin.
We have been emailing each other since September and have started talking on the phone Boxing Day. We started using Skype after a few calls and we both bought webcams so that we can see each other. We met on Eharmony. I only took out a 6 month subscription which recently ended.
Eharmony asks you various survey questions and sends you matches based on 29 different dimensions of compatibility. My English Muffin, whose real name is Daniel, and I seem fairly compatible and oddly enough use our credit cards the same way. I pay my credit card in full but also if I plan on making some bigger purchases, I will wait until the beginning of the billing cycle so that I end up not paying for it until the following month.
He plans on coming here in the beginning of March. He is only 1 inch taller then me, which may be a turnoff or it may not. I usually like someone to be a few inches taller then me. I don't want to feel like I'm the bigger one in a relationship, which is why I generally find really skinny men unattractive since I am more curvy.
Other physical concerns I have are penis size (it has to at least be the minimum of 6 inches give or take a centimetre...anyone who says size doesn't matter is lying) which will affect the sex. The sex has to be decent. I do believe people can become better in pleasing their partners, but there has to be some skill and some passion involved.
Also I have to smell him. I have mentioned in earlier entries the importance of a guy to smell nice. Everyone has their own personal smell and their own personal smell down there. I have to like how it smells. Down There.
Alright, I am not just a superficial prick, I do have other important things to look out for as well. Forming trust is important so we seem to be communicating openly and well with each other. I am generally not a naive person so I am keeping my eyes open for any potential red flags.
We do talk alot. One of our conversations, actually it was on January 12 and I remember that date since I was planning to go out dancing for my birthday (which was the 13th) we ended up talking on Skype (which my coworker thinks sounds like an STD) for 8 hours. We usually get to chat more on the weekends as there is a 5 hour time difference but usually we will talk once or twice during the week. We frequently email each other so at least we know what each other is up to.
I think it is going well thus far. I probably have more to share but I won't at this point. I look foward to meeting him as I think he is totally hot and I want to jump his bones.
I have done an open mic night at the Rivoli on February 4. I have another one booked in March and one this week. I'm going to be experimenting and figuring out where I want to go. I feel like comedy is one of my obsessions, I have to take it to the next level. It's very weird for me but I think perhaps something I should try.
I have been rather conflicted about comedy and where does it fit into my life. I hope this year I make some progress, whether comedy is something I should pursue professional or just leave it as a hobby.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
A Feeling of Betrayal
Greetings and Salutations,
I had my birthday on January 13 and decided that I actually wanted to go out and do something. The last time i had some sort of birthday celebration for myself was back in grade 6.
I decided that I wanted to go dancing at a club in Toronto. I invited people using facebook. I didn't expect everyone to show up but did expect a decent turnout.
I had a couple of my friends say they were attending. I ended up cancelling my event because a couple of my friends said they were sick. I wasn't disappointed by my friends because it's not like it was their fault that they were sick.
I felt betrayed by the many other people that didn't show up or RSVP that they were coming. I always thought I was a decent person but I guess people had more important things to do then celebrate my birthday with me. I was pretty upset that day and it wasn't until later on in the evening that I decided to make my way to a club because I didn't want to spend a Saturday night alone because of my 'friends'.
I joined this web site a few weeks ago called meetup.com and fortunately there was a group that I joined where it was a social group for women and that night one of them was going to a dance club. So I RSVPed last minute and went. One of the ladies bought me a drink which I thought was sweet and another lady was there I met her the prior week at a coffee meetup. So I wasn't with complete strangers at least for that night!
I would have preferred to have been with people that cared about me.
I am still bitter about this incident especially since I go and support the social activities of my various friends. I have probably given a more timid version of this story but there is more guts to the story and I choose to omit.
I feel betrayed because I think that you should have expectations for people. I think it's my right to expect that the people I invite should have the courtesy to make an appearance. This incident reaffirms that fact that I truly have very few people that I can count on.
It may not be some people's cup of tea to go dancing but just stopping by would have been nice. Some people are so set in their ways and don't want to break out of their comfort zone and then they wonder why they alienate people. I've gone out of my comfort zone for people many times because I have heart to show that I care even though this is causing me some degree of pain/discomfort.
I am very bitter and I don't think this feeling of betrayal will go away anytime soon. I may have a smile on my face but many people will not see the broken heart that I have.
I had my birthday on January 13 and decided that I actually wanted to go out and do something. The last time i had some sort of birthday celebration for myself was back in grade 6.
I decided that I wanted to go dancing at a club in Toronto. I invited people using facebook. I didn't expect everyone to show up but did expect a decent turnout.
I had a couple of my friends say they were attending. I ended up cancelling my event because a couple of my friends said they were sick. I wasn't disappointed by my friends because it's not like it was their fault that they were sick.
I felt betrayed by the many other people that didn't show up or RSVP that they were coming. I always thought I was a decent person but I guess people had more important things to do then celebrate my birthday with me. I was pretty upset that day and it wasn't until later on in the evening that I decided to make my way to a club because I didn't want to spend a Saturday night alone because of my 'friends'.
I joined this web site a few weeks ago called meetup.com and fortunately there was a group that I joined where it was a social group for women and that night one of them was going to a dance club. So I RSVPed last minute and went. One of the ladies bought me a drink which I thought was sweet and another lady was there I met her the prior week at a coffee meetup. So I wasn't with complete strangers at least for that night!
I would have preferred to have been with people that cared about me.
I am still bitter about this incident especially since I go and support the social activities of my various friends. I have probably given a more timid version of this story but there is more guts to the story and I choose to omit.
I feel betrayed because I think that you should have expectations for people. I think it's my right to expect that the people I invite should have the courtesy to make an appearance. This incident reaffirms that fact that I truly have very few people that I can count on.
It may not be some people's cup of tea to go dancing but just stopping by would have been nice. Some people are so set in their ways and don't want to break out of their comfort zone and then they wonder why they alienate people. I've gone out of my comfort zone for people many times because I have heart to show that I care even though this is causing me some degree of pain/discomfort.
I am very bitter and I don't think this feeling of betrayal will go away anytime soon. I may have a smile on my face but many people will not see the broken heart that I have.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Getting back in to Shape
Greetings and Salutations,
I have written back in June 2006 that I starting using kettlebells to work out. I don't know how long I was using them, at least 6-8 months, but I did stop working out with them. I have decided to get back into them about 2 weeks ago.
I was re-examining why I stopped working out with them. I don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to do them and was lazy.
I have gained a bit of weight and I think it was time to do something about it before it gets out of hand. My main area of concern is my abs. What I like about using the kettlebell is that it will work out my whole body so I don't have to obsess about just working out with my abs.
I am going to keep things simple. There are 2 main exercises that are good for overall cardio conditioning and they are the swing and the snatch. The snatch is a bit difficult but I did manage to learn it pretty good when I first started out. I have decided to make the swing my main focus and then add other exercises such as cleans and presses.
There are so many different exercises to do.
I go to the dragondoor forum (which is where I originally learned about kettlebells) and many people seem motivated to get really strong and for their job (as some are cops or firefighters).
I just want to look good in a bikini with some nice flat abs. I don't need to be totally ripped.
I don't like exercising but this kettlebell seems to be the most efficient thing for me to do and I like being efficient.
I have noticed my abs are looking better and so do my legs. I think I should be up to par in about 1-3 months.
I think I would like to take a workshop at some point since I've done my learning from a dvd.
I have written back in June 2006 that I starting using kettlebells to work out. I don't know how long I was using them, at least 6-8 months, but I did stop working out with them. I have decided to get back into them about 2 weeks ago.
I was re-examining why I stopped working out with them. I don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to do them and was lazy.
I have gained a bit of weight and I think it was time to do something about it before it gets out of hand. My main area of concern is my abs. What I like about using the kettlebell is that it will work out my whole body so I don't have to obsess about just working out with my abs.
I am going to keep things simple. There are 2 main exercises that are good for overall cardio conditioning and they are the swing and the snatch. The snatch is a bit difficult but I did manage to learn it pretty good when I first started out. I have decided to make the swing my main focus and then add other exercises such as cleans and presses.
There are so many different exercises to do.
I go to the dragondoor forum (which is where I originally learned about kettlebells) and many people seem motivated to get really strong and for their job (as some are cops or firefighters).
I just want to look good in a bikini with some nice flat abs. I don't need to be totally ripped.
I don't like exercising but this kettlebell seems to be the most efficient thing for me to do and I like being efficient.
I have noticed my abs are looking better and so do my legs. I think I should be up to par in about 1-3 months.
I think I would like to take a workshop at some point since I've done my learning from a dvd.
A test retaken
I took this quiz on December 11, 2006. My seduction style was originally Midas Touch. It now is different.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Happy New Year!
Greetings and Salutations,
Today is the beginning of the new year. I've been reflecting on my life this past year. My main highlights were going to Vancouver for a vacation, moving out of the parent's house and being independent and using my ortho c lens to improve my vision and switching to contacts from glasses as my vision slowly improves.
I am looking back and thinking I didn't get to do all the goals I set out for myself. I don't know if it's a combination of not having enough realistic expectations and needing to get over my tendency to procrastinate.
I feel like I am perpetually behind because I am one of those people who 'blooms slower'. I guess we all grow and evolve at different rates but I feel behind because I have moved out on my own at what I perceive to be the old age of 28. Other things that haven't quite worked out for me yet that causes me to feel this way is not having a serious relationship. Lots of people my age have already begun this process of marriage and making babies. And the other annoying task of finding a suitable vocation.
I am generally not a stats fan but I am putting some down because I love numbers and if I think about numerical things, it will help distract my mind from the fact that I am in desperate need of some sex. The average age worldwide for a woman to marry is 26.8 years. In Canada it's 27.4. So I should have been married sometime in 2006 between the months of May and June. (I was born January 13, 1979)
I'm pretty confident, however, that I will attain all of my heart's desires. The big question is how long is it going to take.
I have made significant progress in my qigong practice. I've had several important cathartic moments and have managed to significantly reduce the tension in my neck, head and face. I do not know why I haven't considered my improvements as a highlight of this year, especially since I have been able to initiate spontaneous self movement after 8 months of regular practice even though it normally should take one 3 months of practice. I guess I don't consider it a highlight since I still have more clearing to do in my head area.
My plans for the new year is to go to England, France and Spain. For a while now I have been pondering where I want to go travel next and I had a vision of these 3 countries in a dream and so I decided to make my way this year. I actually went for my passport a few weeks ago and received it a few days ago so now I can legally fly out of this country.
I want to leave my job as well. I've had enough of what I've been doing. I am not sure what to do next. I am not sure if comedy is my true calling or if I should just go back to school.
Today is the beginning of the new year. I've been reflecting on my life this past year. My main highlights were going to Vancouver for a vacation, moving out of the parent's house and being independent and using my ortho c lens to improve my vision and switching to contacts from glasses as my vision slowly improves.
I am looking back and thinking I didn't get to do all the goals I set out for myself. I don't know if it's a combination of not having enough realistic expectations and needing to get over my tendency to procrastinate.
I feel like I am perpetually behind because I am one of those people who 'blooms slower'. I guess we all grow and evolve at different rates but I feel behind because I have moved out on my own at what I perceive to be the old age of 28. Other things that haven't quite worked out for me yet that causes me to feel this way is not having a serious relationship. Lots of people my age have already begun this process of marriage and making babies. And the other annoying task of finding a suitable vocation.
I am generally not a stats fan but I am putting some down because I love numbers and if I think about numerical things, it will help distract my mind from the fact that I am in desperate need of some sex. The average age worldwide for a woman to marry is 26.8 years. In Canada it's 27.4. So I should have been married sometime in 2006 between the months of May and June. (I was born January 13, 1979)
I'm pretty confident, however, that I will attain all of my heart's desires. The big question is how long is it going to take.
I have made significant progress in my qigong practice. I've had several important cathartic moments and have managed to significantly reduce the tension in my neck, head and face. I do not know why I haven't considered my improvements as a highlight of this year, especially since I have been able to initiate spontaneous self movement after 8 months of regular practice even though it normally should take one 3 months of practice. I guess I don't consider it a highlight since I still have more clearing to do in my head area.
My plans for the new year is to go to England, France and Spain. For a while now I have been pondering where I want to go travel next and I had a vision of these 3 countries in a dream and so I decided to make my way this year. I actually went for my passport a few weeks ago and received it a few days ago so now I can legally fly out of this country.
I want to leave my job as well. I've had enough of what I've been doing. I am not sure what to do next. I am not sure if comedy is my true calling or if I should just go back to school.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Cynically prepared for Christmas
Greetings and Salutations,
I have previously mentioned in my posts probably last year around this time how I feel conflicted about Christmas and gift giving.
Well this year I bought some gifts for my immediate family. I really derive little joy or pleasure in getting people gifts. I as well don't really get much out of receiving gifts as well.
I read this book a long time ago entitled "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and I believe this books probably explains why I despise this time of year and the social obligation to buy gifts. According to this book there are five ways people show love and they are through spending quality time with someone,words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The basic premise of the book is that people largely feel unloved in relationships (whether they are familial, friendships or your companion) because people do not know what their love language is. We also tend to show love to others the way we would like to receive. For example, if we like getting hugs we will show our love to others by giving them hugs even though for the recipient, receiving physical contact is not their primary love language.
So maybe this is why I find buying things so meaningless. I am not someone that feels loved when I get gifts. I associate so many negative things when buying people stuff. First off, I like buying things that someone will enjoy. I am a highly practical person and since I don't like having things I will not use, I do not like getting things for people that they can't use. It would cause me great pain to buy something for someone they will not use that enhances their life in some way. This is also why I am not a knick-knack person. What do you do with a knick-knack? Nothing. They are just things to clean up. In other words, a knick knack is work and I loathe unnecessary work.
There is the stress of having to think of stuff to buy them that they will actually enjoy. I don't even like shopping for myself because it really bothers me to be in stores and to realize how much stuff of it is just useless and a waste of people's time and effort to make these various products. And then I feel bad for the people selling this crap in the store because they have to get rid of the shit.
Our whole economy seems largely driven to make crap and to force people to take crappy jobs so that they can buy this crap. And then they have people that are trained to market this crap, convincing us how we must have this crap to have a good life. And then once people have had this crap for long enough, they throw it out and then we have a whole other industry that deals with how to get rid of the crap we created just for the sake of creating crap.
Crap!
Anyways, for me I like spending quality time with people and hearing words of affirmation. Nothing makes me feel better then knowing someone is listening to what I have to say and respects and pays attention to me. And that they are there for me when I need help.
That's really all I want for Christmas.
Listen and respect me.
I have previously mentioned in my posts probably last year around this time how I feel conflicted about Christmas and gift giving.
Well this year I bought some gifts for my immediate family. I really derive little joy or pleasure in getting people gifts. I as well don't really get much out of receiving gifts as well.
I read this book a long time ago entitled "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and I believe this books probably explains why I despise this time of year and the social obligation to buy gifts. According to this book there are five ways people show love and they are through spending quality time with someone,words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The basic premise of the book is that people largely feel unloved in relationships (whether they are familial, friendships or your companion) because people do not know what their love language is. We also tend to show love to others the way we would like to receive. For example, if we like getting hugs we will show our love to others by giving them hugs even though for the recipient, receiving physical contact is not their primary love language.
So maybe this is why I find buying things so meaningless. I am not someone that feels loved when I get gifts. I associate so many negative things when buying people stuff. First off, I like buying things that someone will enjoy. I am a highly practical person and since I don't like having things I will not use, I do not like getting things for people that they can't use. It would cause me great pain to buy something for someone they will not use that enhances their life in some way. This is also why I am not a knick-knack person. What do you do with a knick-knack? Nothing. They are just things to clean up. In other words, a knick knack is work and I loathe unnecessary work.
There is the stress of having to think of stuff to buy them that they will actually enjoy. I don't even like shopping for myself because it really bothers me to be in stores and to realize how much stuff of it is just useless and a waste of people's time and effort to make these various products. And then I feel bad for the people selling this crap in the store because they have to get rid of the shit.
Our whole economy seems largely driven to make crap and to force people to take crappy jobs so that they can buy this crap. And then they have people that are trained to market this crap, convincing us how we must have this crap to have a good life. And then once people have had this crap for long enough, they throw it out and then we have a whole other industry that deals with how to get rid of the crap we created just for the sake of creating crap.
Crap!
Anyways, for me I like spending quality time with people and hearing words of affirmation. Nothing makes me feel better then knowing someone is listening to what I have to say and respects and pays attention to me. And that they are there for me when I need help.
That's really all I want for Christmas.
Listen and respect me.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Organized
Greetings and Salutations,
I had purchased some more furnishings for my apartment. I found a tv stand at Zellers a few weeks ago that was on sale but the Zellers in the mall where I work had none in stock so I was given a raincheck. I was over at another Zellers in Hamilton on Saturday and saw that they had some and so the next day I picked it up with my friend and assembled it. I also finished assembling my desk that I bought last week. I have managed to purchase 4 items that require assembly and have for 3 of them successfully assembled them myself. The fourth being the infamous Ikea bookshelf which required the assistance of my parents. Please see earlier blog entry for more details.
I think that I should get a degree in Ready-To-Assemble Furniture.
I also bought a carpet for my bedroom. I ordered it online. I was tired of looking for one in stores since I was not finding what I was looking for. I managed to find one and this is what it looks like
this.
I also have a new roommate. She moved in on the last weekend of October. We are getting along so far. She has a small dog named Bosley. He is a Yorkie Poo. He got shaved as his fur gets rather matted so he needs a regular shaving. I think he looks better with short fur. My roommate and I and some of her co-worker friends, went out dancing on Friday night. We went to some club that had over 30 singles dance. We were all under 30. They let us in. I think we were the only ones in there that was dancing with beer in our hands. There was alot of old people there. They probably realized that getting drunk doesn't help them get laid as alcohol affects sexual performance. They probably know this from experience and probably looked at us as young punks since we were actually there to dance and were not desperate to get laid.
I had purchased some more furnishings for my apartment. I found a tv stand at Zellers a few weeks ago that was on sale but the Zellers in the mall where I work had none in stock so I was given a raincheck. I was over at another Zellers in Hamilton on Saturday and saw that they had some and so the next day I picked it up with my friend and assembled it. I also finished assembling my desk that I bought last week. I have managed to purchase 4 items that require assembly and have for 3 of them successfully assembled them myself. The fourth being the infamous Ikea bookshelf which required the assistance of my parents. Please see earlier blog entry for more details.
I think that I should get a degree in Ready-To-Assemble Furniture.
I also bought a carpet for my bedroom. I ordered it online. I was tired of looking for one in stores since I was not finding what I was looking for. I managed to find one and this is what it looks like
this.
I also have a new roommate. She moved in on the last weekend of October. We are getting along so far. She has a small dog named Bosley. He is a Yorkie Poo. He got shaved as his fur gets rather matted so he needs a regular shaving. I think he looks better with short fur. My roommate and I and some of her co-worker friends, went out dancing on Friday night. We went to some club that had over 30 singles dance. We were all under 30. They let us in. I think we were the only ones in there that was dancing with beer in our hands. There was alot of old people there. They probably realized that getting drunk doesn't help them get laid as alcohol affects sexual performance. They probably know this from experience and probably looked at us as young punks since we were actually there to dance and were not desperate to get laid.
Friday, November 09, 2007
My Experience with Ortho C - Part 3
Greetings and Salutations,
I got a new lens for my right eye back on October 21. My vision has improved another 0.25 diopter. I was told by Mr. Yee to start wearing my Ortho C lens one eye at a time instead of wearing them both at the same time. I believe he told me to follow this method for wearing them because my one eye is more dominant then the other. Usually everyone has a dominant eye but I used to have a lazy left eye which resulted in me having eye surgery to correct it when I was 2. So I am highly dominant in my right eye.
My right eye always used to be the one that didn't have the stronger prescription but since my early 20s, my right eye now has become the eye that has the stronger prescription.
I also ordered a pair of blue opaque contact lens to wear for regular use. I am currently just wearing clear ones. Next week I will hopefully have blue eyes. I always wanted blue eyes. When I was in high school, I debated over whether to get blue eyes or stick with my dark brown eyes. I went with clear contacts to show my natural eye colour because I thought wearing blue eyes would be like being fake and deceiving. Imagine dating someone whose eyes you were so captivated by only to realize that they were fake. It seemed to me like a form of deceiving. I believed if the eyes were the window to the soul, then I would be pretending to be someone I am not by having blue eyes.
But now that I am older, I decided I'd try them out to see what they would look like on me. And since my lens are only good for 2 weeks, it's not a major commitment. When I was in high school, I usually bought contacts that were for more long term wear so I can understand why I wouldn't want to change my eyes.
My mother doesn't like my idea but I think it will be fun.
I got a new lens for my right eye back on October 21. My vision has improved another 0.25 diopter. I was told by Mr. Yee to start wearing my Ortho C lens one eye at a time instead of wearing them both at the same time. I believe he told me to follow this method for wearing them because my one eye is more dominant then the other. Usually everyone has a dominant eye but I used to have a lazy left eye which resulted in me having eye surgery to correct it when I was 2. So I am highly dominant in my right eye.
My right eye always used to be the one that didn't have the stronger prescription but since my early 20s, my right eye now has become the eye that has the stronger prescription.
I also ordered a pair of blue opaque contact lens to wear for regular use. I am currently just wearing clear ones. Next week I will hopefully have blue eyes. I always wanted blue eyes. When I was in high school, I debated over whether to get blue eyes or stick with my dark brown eyes. I went with clear contacts to show my natural eye colour because I thought wearing blue eyes would be like being fake and deceiving. Imagine dating someone whose eyes you were so captivated by only to realize that they were fake. It seemed to me like a form of deceiving. I believed if the eyes were the window to the soul, then I would be pretending to be someone I am not by having blue eyes.
But now that I am older, I decided I'd try them out to see what they would look like on me. And since my lens are only good for 2 weeks, it's not a major commitment. When I was in high school, I usually bought contacts that were for more long term wear so I can understand why I wouldn't want to change my eyes.
My mother doesn't like my idea but I think it will be fun.
Monday, November 05, 2007
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience - An article by Henry David Thoreau
I copied this from a website that I regularly read. The link is here.
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience
Henry David Thoreau
This American government--what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to posterity, but each instant losing some of its integrity? It has not the vitality and force of a single living man; for a single man can bend it to his will. It is a sort of wooden gun to the people themselves. But it is not the less necessary for this; for the people must have some complicated machinery or other, and hear its din, to satisfy that idea of government which they have. Governments show thus how successfully men can be imposed upon, even impose on themselves, for their own advantage. It is excellent, we must all allow. Yet this government never of itself furthered any enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of its way. It does not keep the country free. It does not settle the West. It does not educate. The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way.
But, to speak practically and as a citizen, unlike those who call themselves no-government men, I ask for, not at once no government, but at once a better government.
After all, the practical reason why, when the power is once in the hands of the people, a majority are permitted, and for a long period continue, to rule is not because they are most likely to be in the right, nor because this seems fairest to the minority, but because they are physically the strongest. But a government in which the majority rules in all cases can not be based on justice, even as far as men understand it. Can there not be a government in which the majorities do not virtually decide right and wrong, but conscience?--in which majorities decide only those questions to which the rule of expediency is applicable? Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? Why has every man a conscience then? I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward. It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right. The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think right. It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience; but a corporation of conscientious men is a corporation with a conscience. Law never made men a whit more just; and, by means of their respect for it, even the well-disposed are daily made the agents on injustice. A common and natural result of an undue respect for the law is, that you may see a file of soldiers, colonel, captain, corporal, privates, powder-monkeys and all, marching in admirable order over hill and dale to the wars, against their wills, ay, against their common sense and consciences, which makes it very steep marching indeed, and produces a palpitation of the heart. They have no doubt that it is a damnable business in which they are concerned; they are all peaceably inclined. Now, what are they? Men at all? or small movable forts and magazines, at the service of some unscrupulous man in power? Visit the Navy Yard, and behold a marine, such a man as an American government can make, or such as it can make a man with its black arts--a mere shadow and reminiscence of humanity, a man laid out alive and standing, and already, as one may say, buried under arms with funeral accompaniment…
The mass of men serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the standing army, and the militia, jailers, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgement or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well. Such command no more respect than men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs.
How does it become a man to behave toward the American government today? I answer, that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it. I cannot for an instant recognize that political organization as my government which is the slave's government also.
All men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable. But almost all say that such is not the case now. But such was the case, they think, in the Revolution of 1775. If one were to tell me that this was a bad government because it taxed certain foreign commodities brought to its ports, it is most probable that I should not make an ado about it, for I can do without them. All machines have their friction; and possibly this does enough good to counter-balance the evil. At any rate, it is a great evil to make a stir about it. But when the friction comes to have its machine, and oppression and robbery are organized, I say, let us not have such a machine any longer. In other words, when a sixth of the population of a nation which has undertaken to be the refuge of liberty are slaves, and a whole country is unjustly overrun and conquered by a foreign army, and subjected to military law, I think that it is not too soon for honest men to rebel and revolutionize. What makes this duty the more urgent is that fact that the country so overrun is not our own, but ours is the invading army.
There are thousands who are in opinion opposed to slavery and to the war, who yet in effect do nothing to put an end to them; who, esteeming themselves children of Washington and Franklin, sit down with their hands in their pockets, and say that they know not what to do, and do nothing; who even postpone the question of freedom to the question of free trade, and quietly read the prices-current along with the latest advices from Mexico, after dinner, and, it may be, fall asleep over them both. What is the price-current of an honest man and patriot today? They hesitate, and they regret, and sometimes they petition; but they do nothing in earnest and with effect. They will wait, well disposed, for other to remedy the evil, that they may no longer have it to regret.
I hear of a convention to be held at Baltimore, or elsewhere, for the selection of a candidate for the Presidency, made up chiefly of editors, and men who are politicians by profession; but I think, what is it to any independent, intelligent, and respectable man what decision they may come to? Shall we not have the advantage of this wisdom and honesty, nevertheless? Can we not count upon some independent votes? Are there not many individuals in the country who do not attend conventions? But no: I find that the respectable man, so called, has immediately drifted from his position, and despairs of his country, when his country has more reasons to despair of him. He forthwith adopts one of the candidates thus selected as the only available one, thus proving that he is himself available for any purposes of the demagogue. His vote is of no more worth than that of any unprincipled foreigner or hireling native, who may have been bought.
The broadest and most prevalent error requires the most disinterested virtue to sustain it. The slight reproach to which the virtue of patriotism is commonly liable, the noble are most likely to incur. Those who, while they disapprove of the character and measures of a government, yield to it their allegiance and support are undoubtedly its most conscientious supporters, and so frequently the most serious obstacles to reform.
Unjust laws exist: shall we be content to obey them, or shall we endeavor to amend them, and obey them until we have succeeded, or shall we transgress them at once? Men, generally, under such a government as this, think that they ought to wait until they have persuaded the majority to alter them. They think that, if they should resist, the remedy would be worse than the evil.
If the injustice is part of the necessary friction of the machine of government, let it go, let it go: perchance it will wear smooth--certainly the machine will wear out. If the injustice has a spring, or a pulley, or a rope, or a crank, exclusively for itself, then perhaps you may consider whether the remedy will not be worse than the evil; but if it is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter-friction to stop the machine. What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn.
Under a government which imprisons unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison. The proper place today, the only place which Massachusetts has provided for her freer and less despondent spirits, is in her prisons….
"But what shall I do?" my answer is, "If you really wish to do anything, resign your office." When the subject has refused allegiance, and the officer has resigned from office, then the revolution is accomplished.
I do not wish to quarrel with any man or nation. I do not wish to split hairs, to make fine distinctions, or set myself up as better than my neighbors. I seek rather, I may say, even an excuse for conforming to the laws of the land. I am but too ready to conform to them. Indeed, I have reason to suspect myself on this head; and each year, as the tax-gatherer comes round, I find myself disposed to review the acts and position of the general and State governments, and the spirit of the people to discover a pretext for conformity.
Even the Chinese philosopher was wise enough to regard the individual as the basis of the empire. Is a democracy, such as we know it, the last improvement possible in government? Is it not possible to take a step further towards recognizing and organizing the rights of man? There will never be a really free and enlightened State until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived, and treats him accordingly. I please myself with imagining a State at last which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling with it, nor embraced by it, who fulfilled all the duties of neighbors and fellow men. A State which bore this kind of fruit, and suffered it to drop off as fast as it ripened, would prepare the way for a still more perfect and glorious State, which I have also imagined, but not yet anywhere seen.
On the Duty of Civil Disobedience
Henry David Thoreau
This American government--what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to posterity, but each instant losing some of its integrity? It has not the vitality and force of a single living man; for a single man can bend it to his will. It is a sort of wooden gun to the people themselves. But it is not the less necessary for this; for the people must have some complicated machinery or other, and hear its din, to satisfy that idea of government which they have. Governments show thus how successfully men can be imposed upon, even impose on themselves, for their own advantage. It is excellent, we must all allow. Yet this government never of itself furthered any enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of its way. It does not keep the country free. It does not settle the West. It does not educate. The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way.
But, to speak practically and as a citizen, unlike those who call themselves no-government men, I ask for, not at once no government, but at once a better government.
After all, the practical reason why, when the power is once in the hands of the people, a majority are permitted, and for a long period continue, to rule is not because they are most likely to be in the right, nor because this seems fairest to the minority, but because they are physically the strongest. But a government in which the majority rules in all cases can not be based on justice, even as far as men understand it. Can there not be a government in which the majorities do not virtually decide right and wrong, but conscience?--in which majorities decide only those questions to which the rule of expediency is applicable? Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? Why has every man a conscience then? I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward. It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right. The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think right. It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience; but a corporation of conscientious men is a corporation with a conscience. Law never made men a whit more just; and, by means of their respect for it, even the well-disposed are daily made the agents on injustice. A common and natural result of an undue respect for the law is, that you may see a file of soldiers, colonel, captain, corporal, privates, powder-monkeys and all, marching in admirable order over hill and dale to the wars, against their wills, ay, against their common sense and consciences, which makes it very steep marching indeed, and produces a palpitation of the heart. They have no doubt that it is a damnable business in which they are concerned; they are all peaceably inclined. Now, what are they? Men at all? or small movable forts and magazines, at the service of some unscrupulous man in power? Visit the Navy Yard, and behold a marine, such a man as an American government can make, or such as it can make a man with its black arts--a mere shadow and reminiscence of humanity, a man laid out alive and standing, and already, as one may say, buried under arms with funeral accompaniment…
The mass of men serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the standing army, and the militia, jailers, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgement or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well. Such command no more respect than men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs.
How does it become a man to behave toward the American government today? I answer, that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it. I cannot for an instant recognize that political organization as my government which is the slave's government also.
All men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable. But almost all say that such is not the case now. But such was the case, they think, in the Revolution of 1775. If one were to tell me that this was a bad government because it taxed certain foreign commodities brought to its ports, it is most probable that I should not make an ado about it, for I can do without them. All machines have their friction; and possibly this does enough good to counter-balance the evil. At any rate, it is a great evil to make a stir about it. But when the friction comes to have its machine, and oppression and robbery are organized, I say, let us not have such a machine any longer. In other words, when a sixth of the population of a nation which has undertaken to be the refuge of liberty are slaves, and a whole country is unjustly overrun and conquered by a foreign army, and subjected to military law, I think that it is not too soon for honest men to rebel and revolutionize. What makes this duty the more urgent is that fact that the country so overrun is not our own, but ours is the invading army.
There are thousands who are in opinion opposed to slavery and to the war, who yet in effect do nothing to put an end to them; who, esteeming themselves children of Washington and Franklin, sit down with their hands in their pockets, and say that they know not what to do, and do nothing; who even postpone the question of freedom to the question of free trade, and quietly read the prices-current along with the latest advices from Mexico, after dinner, and, it may be, fall asleep over them both. What is the price-current of an honest man and patriot today? They hesitate, and they regret, and sometimes they petition; but they do nothing in earnest and with effect. They will wait, well disposed, for other to remedy the evil, that they may no longer have it to regret.
I hear of a convention to be held at Baltimore, or elsewhere, for the selection of a candidate for the Presidency, made up chiefly of editors, and men who are politicians by profession; but I think, what is it to any independent, intelligent, and respectable man what decision they may come to? Shall we not have the advantage of this wisdom and honesty, nevertheless? Can we not count upon some independent votes? Are there not many individuals in the country who do not attend conventions? But no: I find that the respectable man, so called, has immediately drifted from his position, and despairs of his country, when his country has more reasons to despair of him. He forthwith adopts one of the candidates thus selected as the only available one, thus proving that he is himself available for any purposes of the demagogue. His vote is of no more worth than that of any unprincipled foreigner or hireling native, who may have been bought.
The broadest and most prevalent error requires the most disinterested virtue to sustain it. The slight reproach to which the virtue of patriotism is commonly liable, the noble are most likely to incur. Those who, while they disapprove of the character and measures of a government, yield to it their allegiance and support are undoubtedly its most conscientious supporters, and so frequently the most serious obstacles to reform.
Unjust laws exist: shall we be content to obey them, or shall we endeavor to amend them, and obey them until we have succeeded, or shall we transgress them at once? Men, generally, under such a government as this, think that they ought to wait until they have persuaded the majority to alter them. They think that, if they should resist, the remedy would be worse than the evil.
If the injustice is part of the necessary friction of the machine of government, let it go, let it go: perchance it will wear smooth--certainly the machine will wear out. If the injustice has a spring, or a pulley, or a rope, or a crank, exclusively for itself, then perhaps you may consider whether the remedy will not be worse than the evil; but if it is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter-friction to stop the machine. What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn.
Under a government which imprisons unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison. The proper place today, the only place which Massachusetts has provided for her freer and less despondent spirits, is in her prisons….
"But what shall I do?" my answer is, "If you really wish to do anything, resign your office." When the subject has refused allegiance, and the officer has resigned from office, then the revolution is accomplished.
I do not wish to quarrel with any man or nation. I do not wish to split hairs, to make fine distinctions, or set myself up as better than my neighbors. I seek rather, I may say, even an excuse for conforming to the laws of the land. I am but too ready to conform to them. Indeed, I have reason to suspect myself on this head; and each year, as the tax-gatherer comes round, I find myself disposed to review the acts and position of the general and State governments, and the spirit of the people to discover a pretext for conformity.
Even the Chinese philosopher was wise enough to regard the individual as the basis of the empire. Is a democracy, such as we know it, the last improvement possible in government? Is it not possible to take a step further towards recognizing and organizing the rights of man? There will never be a really free and enlightened State until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived, and treats him accordingly. I please myself with imagining a State at last which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling with it, nor embraced by it, who fulfilled all the duties of neighbors and fellow men. A State which bore this kind of fruit, and suffered it to drop off as fast as it ripened, would prepare the way for a still more perfect and glorious State, which I have also imagined, but not yet anywhere seen.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Long Weekend
Greetings and Salutations,
It's the long weekend here in Canada as it is Thanksgiving weekend. I am enjoying the fact that I will get Monday off.
I bought some more furniture for my place but it won't be ready until Friday. I bought a tv stand and a coffee table. I still need a desk. I saw one online but it is temporarily out of stock. It's been out of stock for a few weeks so I don't know if it will permanently be out of stock or will be available soon.
* * *
My Cogeco bill issue was resolved. I got a copy of my where my cheque went from my bank and faxed it over to Cogeco. I called them 2 days later and they said it was sorted out. Since I never bothered to pay my bill because of this issue, I probably accrued some late charges. I stated that I didn't want late charges since this wasn't my fault. There was only $0.72 of a late charge but I didn't want to pay it. I figured for their fuck up I should get a free month service. The woman was not authorized to do so, so she transferred me to her supervisor. The supervisor didn't think I should get one since they credited the $.72. I told him that the company was being sloppy and I had to go out of my way to deal with this issue. I also stated that I was a bit worried and that it is unacceptable to be treating someone else's money this way. The supervisor seemed very firm about not wanting to give me a month credit of service but I persisted. I said that I went out of my way to call my bank and then I had to fax back to Cogeco this information, again going out of my way and taking some of my time to correct their mistake. (Italics were used to illustrate the words that I was emphasizing during our conversation) He offered a week free of service. I paused and thought that was fair enough. I figured that they would have felt more bad about this mistake and want to make it up to me.
Cogeco you may have the monopoly on high speed internet but that doesn't mean you can make mistakes with billing and think you can get away with!
Fuck you Cogeco!
It's the long weekend here in Canada as it is Thanksgiving weekend. I am enjoying the fact that I will get Monday off.
I bought some more furniture for my place but it won't be ready until Friday. I bought a tv stand and a coffee table. I still need a desk. I saw one online but it is temporarily out of stock. It's been out of stock for a few weeks so I don't know if it will permanently be out of stock or will be available soon.
My Cogeco bill issue was resolved. I got a copy of my where my cheque went from my bank and faxed it over to Cogeco. I called them 2 days later and they said it was sorted out. Since I never bothered to pay my bill because of this issue, I probably accrued some late charges. I stated that I didn't want late charges since this wasn't my fault. There was only $0.72 of a late charge but I didn't want to pay it. I figured for their fuck up I should get a free month service. The woman was not authorized to do so, so she transferred me to her supervisor. The supervisor didn't think I should get one since they credited the $.72. I told him that the company was being sloppy and I had to go out of my way to deal with this issue. I also stated that I was a bit worried and that it is unacceptable to be treating someone else's money this way. The supervisor seemed very firm about not wanting to give me a month credit of service but I persisted. I said that I went out of my way to call my bank and then I had to fax back to Cogeco this information, again going out of my way and taking some of my time to correct their mistake. (Italics were used to illustrate the words that I was emphasizing during our conversation) He offered a week free of service. I paused and thought that was fair enough. I figured that they would have felt more bad about this mistake and want to make it up to me.
Cogeco you may have the monopoly on high speed internet but that doesn't mean you can make mistakes with billing and think you can get away with!
Fuck you Cogeco!
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