Coupling Up

Greetings all,

Lately some people around me and my social groups have been coupling up and it's kind of annoying being that I am single.

First of all, there is a couple of people on my floor who sometimes I have lunch with. They are 26 and 24 and have not officially come out to me that they are a couple(I'm probably not in her inner circle) but me and another coworker think there is something going on. Last time we had lunch with her she had said she had a boyfriend and mentioned later on how she was at the coworker who we think is her boyfriend and how she was cleaning his apartment but he didn't want her to.

They are both really nice people so I have nothing against them but it's pretty obvious that something is going on. I've seen how she orders him nicely to get a Tim Horton's tea for her. I see them together alot, just the two of them. It's like, people who are keeping a secret, do they really think that people around them aren't perceptive and can figure out stuff? Really, you're only fooling yourself if you think you can actually keep a secret!

Another couple that formed was a couple of people in my book group. The girl is 26 the guy is 34. I joined the group back in October. I thought the guy was a bit attractive but I wasn't sure if there was anything there that would happen. I don't know if it's my ego but I felt maybe he had a thing for me. But then some people are flirty in personality and that's how they are so it's easy to assume that maybe they are interested in you. If they are happy, then good for them. I am not looking for drama in my life so I feel I have to adjust to them now as a couple. Although I didn't know them too well as individuals, it feels weird because now I feel I have to relate to them in a couple sense.

Sometimes the bond between 2 people gets in the way of other people bonding to them as individuals. I can't be the only one who feels like when socializing with couples, you socialize on some level with them as one unit. Being that I've been single essentially all of my life, I always made my own decisions and didn't have to 'check in' with someone and if you want to go out with one of them, you know that depending on what you talk about, they'll end up telling things to their mate.

Finally I had a meetup (meetup.com, a site for socializing) where we did a heritage walk. I don't know them too well, although I know the guy a bit better. The girl I have seen a couple of times but never really talked to her. My first impression of her was I felt that she was a bitch. I thought maybe she had something going on with some other guy in a karaoke meetup as they had spent the majority of the night talking and then left together. I thought the guy was a bit cute but again, I wasn't sure if it could go anywhere. I was surprised to see that they are together now.

I don't know but usually when I hang out with someone, I try and figure out if it could go anywhere. I mean, I do this on an unconscious level, probably since I am single and wanting a relationship. I can usually tell when talking with someone if there is chemistry and if we are like minded enough. I only met one person whom I thought it could go somewhere (english muffin) but I guess I was wrong so I am as well, not trusting my own intuition. I had been in love before but I couldn't see it going anywhere, whereas with english muffin, I could see. So I can distinguish that sometimes loving someone, doesn't mean it will work out.

And that's what I look for when I am meeting a guy. After a while of getting to know them, I can figure out if we are on the same page. As well, I feel I need to see a future.

I'm still on the dating fence and I know at some point I will have to get back on the horse but I feel confused by my intuition. I need clarity in my life.

Anyways, I must get back to judging these people who are coupling off. For the first couple, who are coworkers. I've dated a coworker once, but I was a temp so I didn't envision my future working for that company. It's risky to date someone from work. You have a 50/50 chance of it succeeding. If it works, it's worth the risk but if it doesn't, it'll be a major pain. It's not always the best thing to mix business and pleasure. Since this couple at work seem like nice people, I don't see it becoming ugly.

As well, I don't know why my coworker would even consider cleaning a man's apartment! She's one of those nice girls and this is just so very wrong to do. Men do not like to have a new girlfriend do those things. It's acting like a mom. When my parents came down to Toronto last Friday, I didn't have a clean apartment for over a month. My bathroom sink was dirty. My mom came in to use the washroom. I should have anticipated she'd come in to pee as she always needs to pee. When I came home I saw that she had cleaned up my sink. I was angry since it was my mess and I didn't want her to clean it up. I planned on cleaning my apartment that weekend and was annoyed.

Anyways, back to never cleaning for a boyfriend. You just don't. I should tell her it's not right. It's emasculating. Luckily the other coworker is not an asshole and I can see that kind of behaviour being taken advantage of. If a man is dating you, you don't have to do a thing. Just be nice and look pretty and get to know him. Not obligated to do a DAMN thing!

I really have not much to say about the 2nd and 3rd couples, except with the girl in the bookgroup, she does the same thing and helps to clean up. We have tea and she'll clean up sometimes. You're not married and not living together. You don't have to clean up. I sometimes will never understand nice girls. I'm nice but not that nice.

I just have to keep focused on my own goals and myself and not let these events around me distract from my focus as sometimes I wonder when will it be my time to find the right person. I've waited long enough but I guess I have to keep waiting. And I hate waiting!