Getting back in to Shape

Greetings and Salutations,

I have written back in June 2006 that I starting using kettlebells to work out. I don't know how long I was using them, at least 6-8 months, but I did stop working out with them. I have decided to get back into them about 2 weeks ago.
I was re-examining why I stopped working out with them. I don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to do them and was lazy.
I have gained a bit of weight and I think it was time to do something about it before it gets out of hand. My main area of concern is my abs. What I like about using the kettlebell is that it will work out my whole body so I don't have to obsess about just working out with my abs.
I am going to keep things simple. There are 2 main exercises that are good for overall cardio conditioning and they are the swing and the snatch. The snatch is a bit difficult but I did manage to learn it pretty good when I first started out. I have decided to make the swing my main focus and then add other exercises such as cleans and presses.
There are so many different exercises to do.
I go to the dragondoor forum (which is where I originally learned about kettlebells) and many people seem motivated to get really strong and for their job (as some are cops or firefighters).
I just want to look good in a bikini with some nice flat abs. I don't need to be totally ripped.
I don't like exercising but this kettlebell seems to be the most efficient thing for me to do and I like being efficient.
I have noticed my abs are looking better and so do my legs. I think I should be up to par in about 1-3 months.

I think I would like to take a workshop at some point since I've done my learning from a dvd.

A test retaken

I took this quiz on December 11, 2006. My seduction style was originally Midas Touch. It now is different.

Happy New Year!

Greetings and Salutations,

Today is the beginning of the new year. I've been reflecting on my life this past year. My main highlights were going to Vancouver for a vacation, moving out of the parent's house and being independent and using my ortho c lens to improve my vision and switching to contacts from glasses as my vision slowly improves.

I am looking back and thinking I didn't get to do all the goals I set out for myself. I don't know if it's a combination of not having enough realistic expectations and needing to get over my tendency to procrastinate.

I feel like I am perpetually behind because I am one of those people who 'blooms slower'. I guess we all grow and evolve at different rates but I feel behind because I have moved out on my own at what I perceive to be the old age of 28. Other things that haven't quite worked out for me yet that causes me to feel this way is not having a serious relationship. Lots of people my age have already begun this process of marriage and making babies. And the other annoying task of finding a suitable vocation.

I am generally not a stats fan but I am putting some down because I love numbers and if I think about numerical things, it will help distract my mind from the fact that I am in desperate need of some sex. The average age worldwide for a woman to marry is 26.8 years. In Canada it's 27.4. So I should have been married sometime in 2006 between the months of May and June. (I was born January 13, 1979)

I'm pretty confident, however, that I will attain all of my heart's desires. The big question is how long is it going to take.

I have made significant progress in my qigong practice. I've had several important cathartic moments and have managed to significantly reduce the tension in my neck, head and face. I do not know why I haven't considered my improvements as a highlight of this year, especially since I have been able to initiate spontaneous self movement after 8 months of regular practice even though it normally should take one 3 months of practice. I guess I don't consider it a highlight since I still have more clearing to do in my head area.

My plans for the new year is to go to England, France and Spain. For a while now I have been pondering where I want to go travel next and I had a vision of these 3 countries in a dream and so I decided to make my way this year. I actually went for my passport a few weeks ago and received it a few days ago so now I can legally fly out of this country.

I want to leave my job as well. I've had enough of what I've been doing. I am not sure what to do next. I am not sure if comedy is my true calling or if I should just go back to school.

Cynically prepared for Christmas

Greetings and Salutations,

I have previously mentioned in my posts probably last year around this time how I feel conflicted about Christmas and gift giving.
Well this year I bought some gifts for my immediate family. I really derive little joy or pleasure in getting people gifts. I as well don't really get much out of receiving gifts as well.

I read this book a long time ago entitled "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and I believe this books probably explains why I despise this time of year and the social obligation to buy gifts. According to this book there are five ways people show love and they are through spending quality time with someone,words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The basic premise of the book is that people largely feel unloved in relationships (whether they are familial, friendships or your companion) because people do not know what their love language is. We also tend to show love to others the way we would like to receive. For example, if we like getting hugs we will show our love to others by giving them hugs even though for the recipient, receiving physical contact is not their primary love language.

So maybe this is why I find buying things so meaningless. I am not someone that feels loved when I get gifts. I associate so many negative things when buying people stuff. First off, I like buying things that someone will enjoy. I am a highly practical person and since I don't like having things I will not use, I do not like getting things for people that they can't use. It would cause me great pain to buy something for someone they will not use that enhances their life in some way. This is also why I am not a knick-knack person. What do you do with a knick-knack? Nothing. They are just things to clean up. In other words, a knick knack is work and I loathe unnecessary work.

There is the stress of having to think of stuff to buy them that they will actually enjoy. I don't even like shopping for myself because it really bothers me to be in stores and to realize how much stuff of it is just useless and a waste of people's time and effort to make these various products. And then I feel bad for the people selling this crap in the store because they have to get rid of the shit.

Our whole economy seems largely driven to make crap and to force people to take crappy jobs so that they can buy this crap. And then they have people that are trained to market this crap, convincing us how we must have this crap to have a good life. And then once people have had this crap for long enough, they throw it out and then we have a whole other industry that deals with how to get rid of the crap we created just for the sake of creating crap.

Crap!

Anyways, for me I like spending quality time with people and hearing words of affirmation. Nothing makes me feel better then knowing someone is listening to what I have to say and respects and pays attention to me. And that they are there for me when I need help.

That's really all I want for Christmas.
Listen and respect me.

Organized

Greetings and Salutations,

I had purchased some more furnishings for my apartment. I found a tv stand at Zellers a few weeks ago that was on sale but the Zellers in the mall where I work had none in stock so I was given a raincheck. I was over at another Zellers in Hamilton on Saturday and saw that they had some and so the next day I picked it up with my friend and assembled it. I also finished assembling my desk that I bought last week. I have managed to purchase 4 items that require assembly and have for 3 of them successfully assembled them myself. The fourth being the infamous Ikea bookshelf which required the assistance of my parents. Please see earlier blog entry for more details.

I think that I should get a degree in Ready-To-Assemble Furniture.

I also bought a carpet for my bedroom. I ordered it online. I was tired of looking for one in stores since I was not finding what I was looking for. I managed to find one and this is what it looks like
this.

I also have a new roommate. She moved in on the last weekend of October. We are getting along so far. She has a small dog named Bosley. He is a Yorkie Poo. He got shaved as his fur gets rather matted so he needs a regular shaving. I think he looks better with short fur. My roommate and I and some of her co-worker friends, went out dancing on Friday night. We went to some club that had over 30 singles dance. We were all under 30. They let us in. I think we were the only ones in there that was dancing with beer in our hands. There was alot of old people there. They probably realized that getting drunk doesn't help them get laid as alcohol affects sexual performance. They probably know this from experience and probably looked at us as young punks since we were actually there to dance and were not desperate to get laid.

My Experience with Ortho C - Part 3

Greetings and Salutations,

I got a new lens for my right eye back on October 21. My vision has improved another 0.25 diopter. I was told by Mr. Yee to start wearing my Ortho C lens one eye at a time instead of wearing them both at the same time. I believe he told me to follow this method for wearing them because my one eye is more dominant then the other. Usually everyone has a dominant eye but I used to have a lazy left eye which resulted in me having eye surgery to correct it when I was 2. So I am highly dominant in my right eye.

My right eye always used to be the one that didn't have the stronger prescription but since my early 20s, my right eye now has become the eye that has the stronger prescription.

I also ordered a pair of blue opaque contact lens to wear for regular use. I am currently just wearing clear ones. Next week I will hopefully have blue eyes. I always wanted blue eyes. When I was in high school, I debated over whether to get blue eyes or stick with my dark brown eyes. I went with clear contacts to show my natural eye colour because I thought wearing blue eyes would be like being fake and deceiving. Imagine dating someone whose eyes you were so captivated by only to realize that they were fake. It seemed to me like a form of deceiving. I believed if the eyes were the window to the soul, then I would be pretending to be someone I am not by having blue eyes.

But now that I am older, I decided I'd try them out to see what they would look like on me. And since my lens are only good for 2 weeks, it's not a major commitment. When I was in high school, I usually bought contacts that were for more long term wear so I can understand why I wouldn't want to change my eyes.

My mother doesn't like my idea but I think it will be fun.

On the Duty of Civil Disobedience - An article by Henry David Thoreau

I copied this from a website that I regularly read. The link is here.

On the Duty of Civil Disobedience


Henry David Thoreau

This American government--what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to posterity, but each instant losing some of its integrity? It has not the vitality and force of a single living man; for a single man can bend it to his will. It is a sort of wooden gun to the people themselves. But it is not the less necessary for this; for the people must have some complicated machinery or other, and hear its din, to satisfy that idea of government which they have. Governments show thus how successfully men can be imposed upon, even impose on themselves, for their own advantage. It is excellent, we must all allow. Yet this government never of itself furthered any enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of its way. It does not keep the country free. It does not settle the West. It does not educate. The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way.

But, to speak practically and as a citizen, unlike those who call themselves no-government men, I ask for, not at once no government, but at once a better government.

After all, the practical reason why, when the power is once in the hands of the people, a majority are permitted, and for a long period continue, to rule is not because they are most likely to be in the right, nor because this seems fairest to the minority, but because they are physically the strongest. But a government in which the majority rules in all cases can not be based on justice, even as far as men understand it. Can there not be a government in which the majorities do not virtually decide right and wrong, but conscience?--in which majorities decide only those questions to which the rule of expediency is applicable? Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? Why has every man a conscience then? I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward. It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right. The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think right. It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience; but a corporation of conscientious men is a corporation with a conscience. Law never made men a whit more just; and, by means of their respect for it, even the well-disposed are daily made the agents on injustice. A common and natural result of an undue respect for the law is, that you may see a file of soldiers, colonel, captain, corporal, privates, powder-monkeys and all, marching in admirable order over hill and dale to the wars, against their wills, ay, against their common sense and consciences, which makes it very steep marching indeed, and produces a palpitation of the heart. They have no doubt that it is a damnable business in which they are concerned; they are all peaceably inclined. Now, what are they? Men at all? or small movable forts and magazines, at the service of some unscrupulous man in power? Visit the Navy Yard, and behold a marine, such a man as an American government can make, or such as it can make a man with its black arts--a mere shadow and reminiscence of humanity, a man laid out alive and standing, and already, as one may say, buried under arms with funeral accompaniment…

The mass of men serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the standing army, and the militia, jailers, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgement or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well. Such command no more respect than men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs.

How does it become a man to behave toward the American government today? I answer, that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it. I cannot for an instant recognize that political organization as my government which is the slave's government also.

All men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable. But almost all say that such is not the case now. But such was the case, they think, in the Revolution of 1775. If one were to tell me that this was a bad government because it taxed certain foreign commodities brought to its ports, it is most probable that I should not make an ado about it, for I can do without them. All machines have their friction; and possibly this does enough good to counter-balance the evil. At any rate, it is a great evil to make a stir about it. But when the friction comes to have its machine, and oppression and robbery are organized, I say, let us not have such a machine any longer. In other words, when a sixth of the population of a nation which has undertaken to be the refuge of liberty are slaves, and a whole country is unjustly overrun and conquered by a foreign army, and subjected to military law, I think that it is not too soon for honest men to rebel and revolutionize. What makes this duty the more urgent is that fact that the country so overrun is not our own, but ours is the invading army.

There are thousands who are in opinion opposed to slavery and to the war, who yet in effect do nothing to put an end to them; who, esteeming themselves children of Washington and Franklin, sit down with their hands in their pockets, and say that they know not what to do, and do nothing; who even postpone the question of freedom to the question of free trade, and quietly read the prices-current along with the latest advices from Mexico, after dinner, and, it may be, fall asleep over them both. What is the price-current of an honest man and patriot today? They hesitate, and they regret, and sometimes they petition; but they do nothing in earnest and with effect. They will wait, well disposed, for other to remedy the evil, that they may no longer have it to regret.

I hear of a convention to be held at Baltimore, or elsewhere, for the selection of a candidate for the Presidency, made up chiefly of editors, and men who are politicians by profession; but I think, what is it to any independent, intelligent, and respectable man what decision they may come to? Shall we not have the advantage of this wisdom and honesty, nevertheless? Can we not count upon some independent votes? Are there not many individuals in the country who do not attend conventions? But no: I find that the respectable man, so called, has immediately drifted from his position, and despairs of his country, when his country has more reasons to despair of him. He forthwith adopts one of the candidates thus selected as the only available one, thus proving that he is himself available for any purposes of the demagogue. His vote is of no more worth than that of any unprincipled foreigner or hireling native, who may have been bought.

The broadest and most prevalent error requires the most disinterested virtue to sustain it. The slight reproach to which the virtue of patriotism is commonly liable, the noble are most likely to incur. Those who, while they disapprove of the character and measures of a government, yield to it their allegiance and support are undoubtedly its most conscientious supporters, and so frequently the most serious obstacles to reform.

Unjust laws exist: shall we be content to obey them, or shall we endeavor to amend them, and obey them until we have succeeded, or shall we transgress them at once? Men, generally, under such a government as this, think that they ought to wait until they have persuaded the majority to alter them. They think that, if they should resist, the remedy would be worse than the evil.

If the injustice is part of the necessary friction of the machine of government, let it go, let it go: perchance it will wear smooth--certainly the machine will wear out. If the injustice has a spring, or a pulley, or a rope, or a crank, exclusively for itself, then perhaps you may consider whether the remedy will not be worse than the evil; but if it is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter-friction to stop the machine. What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn.

Under a government which imprisons unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison. The proper place today, the only place which Massachusetts has provided for her freer and less despondent spirits, is in her prisons….

"But what shall I do?" my answer is, "If you really wish to do anything, resign your office." When the subject has refused allegiance, and the officer has resigned from office, then the revolution is accomplished.

I do not wish to quarrel with any man or nation. I do not wish to split hairs, to make fine distinctions, or set myself up as better than my neighbors. I seek rather, I may say, even an excuse for conforming to the laws of the land. I am but too ready to conform to them. Indeed, I have reason to suspect myself on this head; and each year, as the tax-gatherer comes round, I find myself disposed to review the acts and position of the general and State governments, and the spirit of the people to discover a pretext for conformity.

Even the Chinese philosopher was wise enough to regard the individual as the basis of the empire. Is a democracy, such as we know it, the last improvement possible in government? Is it not possible to take a step further towards recognizing and organizing the rights of man? There will never be a really free and enlightened State until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived, and treats him accordingly. I please myself with imagining a State at last which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling with it, nor embraced by it, who fulfilled all the duties of neighbors and fellow men. A State which bore this kind of fruit, and suffered it to drop off as fast as it ripened, would prepare the way for a still more perfect and glorious State, which I have also imagined, but not yet anywhere seen.

Long Weekend

Greetings and Salutations,

It's the long weekend here in Canada as it is Thanksgiving weekend. I am enjoying the fact that I will get Monday off.

I bought some more furniture for my place but it won't be ready until Friday. I bought a tv stand and a coffee table. I still need a desk. I saw one online but it is temporarily out of stock. It's been out of stock for a few weeks so I don't know if it will permanently be out of stock or will be available soon.

* * *
My Cogeco bill issue was resolved. I got a copy of my where my cheque went from my bank and faxed it over to Cogeco. I called them 2 days later and they said it was sorted out. Since I never bothered to pay my bill because of this issue, I probably accrued some late charges. I stated that I didn't want late charges since this wasn't my fault. There was only $0.72 of a late charge but I didn't want to pay it. I figured for their fuck up I should get a free month service. The woman was not authorized to do so, so she transferred me to her supervisor. The supervisor didn't think I should get one since they credited the $.72. I told him that the company was being sloppy and I had to go out of my way to deal with this issue. I also stated that I was a bit worried and that it is unacceptable to be treating someone else's money this way. The supervisor seemed very firm about not wanting to give me a month credit of service but I persisted. I said that I went out of my way to call my bank and then I had to fax back to Cogeco this information, again going out of my way and taking some of my time to correct their mistake. (Italics were used to illustrate the words that I was emphasizing during our conversation) He offered a week free of service. I paused and thought that was fair enough. I figured that they would have felt more bad about this mistake and want to make it up to me.

Cogeco you may have the monopoly on high speed internet but that doesn't mean you can make mistakes with billing and think you can get away with!

Fuck you Cogeco!

Miscellaneous Stuff

Greetings and Salutations,

I bought some plants for my place. There are a few more that I will buy. I want to put a couple more in my kitchen and probably 1 or 2 in my bedroom. I read that at night plants take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide but in order for it to be bad for humans, there has to be pounds and pounds of plants for it to be equivalent to how much oxygen a human consumes. Some Feng Shui sites suggest not to have plants in your bedroom but I'm not really into feng shui.

I think I will put a plant or two in my bedroom. It can't be that bad.

I got plants because I read this book called How To Grow Fresh Air and it shows the top 50 houseplants that are good for removing various chemicals that are commonly found indoors such as formaldehyde, ammonia and other chemicals. NASA had used plants to create a livable environment in space.

I'm not really a plant person but I find plants have a certain energy that I like. They are life forms even though it may not seem like it because they are so quiet.

* * *
I plan on having an apartment warming party. I haven't had a party since I was in elementary school for my birthday. I think my last party was in grade 6. I only invited 6-7 kids. I don't know why I didn't invite more but I guess maybe my mother didn't want too many kids over. I invited the most popular girl in my class and she bought me a curling iron. I never used it.

I hope that I have a good turnout. I invited friends from my various social groups. Friends from improv, my book group, work and my miscellaneous friends. I want to see them all merge as part of some social science experiment.

* * *
I'm having problems with my Cogeco bill. Cogeco is a company that provides internet. I had internet installed right away at my place because I wanted a digital phone. When the tech installed the internet, I gave him a cheque that covered the internet for a month and its installation. I was told to do this when I placed my order.

I received my bill about 1.5-2 weeks ago and saw that it didn't show that my cheque was received. I checked my bank account and saw that the money was withdrawn back in August. I called them up Monday and apparently they never received it. The cheque had my old address on it so they checked to see if the money went to my parent's account. It did not. I was notified that I was to contact my bank so they could track it. I will have to call on Friday as it takes a few days to do.

I don't think the tech stole the money since I wrote the cheque to Cogeco. I figure there must have been some mistake in their billing department. I think I will try to get a free month or 2 of internet for my trouble. I might as well benefit from these incompetent jerks' errors.

The Harsh Reality of Singledom

Greetings and Salutations,

In this post I will be discussing singledom and its harsh reality.
I have for the most part of my life been single. I have had a couple of relationships that were over 8 months. One being for over a year I think. It was my first relationship and probably my worst!

Most times I date someone and it lasts for 3-4 months.

Many people seem to think that being single is great or they will tell me how important it is to be able to be by yourself.

Let me tell you it's not fun. It's not fun to always look to yourself to figure out things. It's not fun to go to social events by yourself. It's not fun during Valentine's Day. It's not fun when you're always surrounded by people who are in relationships. It's not fun knowing that you essentially are facing this life alone.

Let me also tell you that I think it's not fair that someone like me has endured years of suffering as a single person. I am proactive in my dating life but no one I find is compatible for my personality. I don't think it's fair that people younger then me find someone and are happy. I don't think it's fair that some of my older friends have found each other in their early 20s and they are still happily married.

I think this whole being single is good for you because you get to learn to be alone is a myth. I can have my solitude and still have someone. I don't need to be alone to figure out who I am.

I don't mean anything. I'm not loved. I'm not important in anyone's life. I'm nothing.
Love from my mother or my friends doesn't count. The love you get from someone when you are in a relationship is unique and I don't have it.

I usually like to be optimistic but I'm forced to accept that I perhaps will be a spinster and that if I haven't found someone by now, I may never. I'll always be this amazing people who never found someone.

My Experience with Ortho C Lenses - Part 2

Greetings and Salutations,

I have been wearing my ortho c lenses for a few minutes a day up to 4 or 5 times a week. I thought these lenses were supposed to improve my vision to -4, however I was to wear them to help retain and stabilize my 2 diopter improvement.

I went yesterday for a new lens. I was only given one for my left eye. Apparently getting a new lens helps to improve both eyes. I thought that was strange but it does make sense since your eyes work together.

I did improve one line (based on the Snellan chart) and I will be receiving a prescription for -4.5 this week. It's not much of a change but at least it is something.

A Flurry of Anger

Greetings and Salutations,

This week I have noticed an unusual amount of anger from people. It all started Sunday at my company soccer game. Where I work, there are different offices. One is in Mississauga, another in Windsor and one here in Burlington. We had a soccer game this Sunday against the Mississauga folks. We didn't have a ref and this probably was where it started to go wrong. The other team was taking this game way too seriously and they were constantly making calls against our team such as the goalie was too far out of his crease or that we were offside. This eventually caused a meltdown that involved uncalled for shoving that potentially could have lead to an actual fist fit had some people not attempted to stop this. It was decided to take a time out. The President of the company showed up at this point.

On Tuesday I went to the grocery store to purchase various items. I was nearly done and was in the bread section when I heard some woman yelling at these women. From my understanding it sounded like these women bumped into this woman and this woman didn't think their apology was enough. I think the women that bumped into this women were Muslims as well.

Another incident of anger occurred on Thursday at my office. Someone forwarded some email that showed how the people in the middle east had created their own winter wonderland. The caption, which I guess was created to incite anger in the viewer, was stating that this is how they are using the money that is generated from the rate increase in oil. The person who forwarded this email said in this email, "Fuck Arabs".

The final incident of anger I experienced in my apartment this morning. It was coming from down the hall. At first I thought it was either one of those yapper dogs yelping or some human having a freakout. It turns out it was a woman having a freakout. I heard words along the lines of "How could you bring her in...". I am guessing perhaps she caught her man cheating on her. I really can't say for sure but having someone have an emotional freak out like this just made me rather uncomfortable.

I really don't know what is going on with people this week. It seems like there is an unusual flurry of anger going on. You know there is this popular belief that Canadians are polite, but as a Canadian, there are many rude and ignorant Canadians. I choose to debunk this myth of Canadians being polite. We are just as fucked up and ignorant as anyone else. Away with this squeaky clean image! This week has showed me how emotionally immature people can be.

Wonderings

Greetings and Salutations,

At my current employer, there are various departments that have moved and my department is one of them. We moved from the office to another location that is about a 5 minute drive. My small department did not particularly care for this move. We routinely go out for breaks together and we began chatting up with a couple of guys from the old office. One person in our department, a lesbian, has an ex girlfriend that is working in the same building that we just moved into. We had found out some guys were attempting to hit on our co worker's ex (which they didn't know was her ex or that she was a lesbian).

So this topic that is not about me, leads me back to me. My dilemma is this. Why is a lesbian getting hit on more then I am, an attractive single woman? I have to be honest with you beloved audience but the truth is I don't get hit on very much. This question has plagued me for years. Why do I not get approached very often? The best answer I could come up with is that I am probably so attractive and intimidating. I know that despite the fact that I am brimming with confidence, I am just one of many in the sea of sexy.

But let's be honest, I really don't like to think I'm intimidating. I have my fears and insecurities that come and go just like everyone else.

If I reflect upon my body language and my personality, I think I probably come off as either aloof or as someone who doesn't take bullshit. And perhaps this is what the male species finds intimidating about a personality such as myself. This issue perhaps may never be solved. The fact remains that the male species are a simple lot and the female brain is best not suited to analyze.

Living on My Own

Greetings and Salutations,

I have officially moved into my new apartment on Friday night. I had my Last Supper with my parents and slept over in my new place. I used to have a desk but I got all new furniture and now I don't have a desk. At least not yet. In my previous desk, I had 4 drawers where I kept things such as my financial information, random papers, markers, old health cards and drivers licenses, my firearms handbook and my underwear.

For years I never questioned why I put my underwear and socks in my desk drawer because I did have a mirror dresser, but I believe a year or two ago I wondered why I would put those intimates in such a none intimate object of furniture.

So now that I don't have a desk, I am forced to put my financial information, random papers, markers, old health cards and drivers licenses, my firearms handbook and my underwear in either my dresser or mirror dresser.

* * *
I went out on Saturday by myself to Ikea and purchased a bookshelf. It's large and I managed to only fill half of it with stuff. I had difficulty getting the bookshelf into the car and I had to place it diagonally. I also had to lay flat the passenger seat and also I had to pull the driver's seat all the way up. It was not easy driving back home with the steering wheel practically right up my nose but luckily I am only a 5 minute drive.

Also nobody from Ikea was helping me to load these heavy and long boxes.
Thanks Ikea!

It took me several hours to assemble it and I had to do the backing but since I had no hammer, I decided to stop at that point and I thought perhaps my father would help me. I had placed the backing on the shelf and I noticed how the backing fit nicely on the one side of the shelf but the second piece was not. I figured this was just the way Ikea designed the bookshelf. Afterall it's Ikea and it was made in Poland. I also thought it would have been so much simpler if I had bought the wood myself, cut it and screwed them together. I find assembling Ikea is too complicated. I must have been assembling this for at least 6 hours.

So the next day my parents came over and my dad nailed the backing to the shelf and when we stood it up, we noticed that the holes on the one side of the shelf weren't lining up properly. It turns out that I had placed the one piece backwards. I was rather pissed and went to my balcony to gather my thoughts, thoughts such as "Fuck you Ikea" and "Fuck you fucken Ikea" and my favourite "Cocksucking Ikea".

I went back in and we took out some of the nails from the backing and underscrewed the bottom and shelves. It was rather difficult to get the piece out and it was also difficult getting it back in but after much yelling between my parents, it managed to get successfully put back together.

My Experience with Ortho C Lenses - Part 1

Greeting and Salutations,

I have been interested in improving my vision for several years now. I have researched lasik and ortho k but neither appealed to me. I had stumbled to a web site that offers an alternative to the above methods. The web site is called Reversing Nearsightedness. The person who created this technique is John William Yee and he calls this methodology Orthoculogy or ortho c for short. It is a natural form of eye therapy. I had purchased his book and I actually got to order my lens through him. He is located in Toronto.

Ortho C are semi hard contact lenses that you wear a few times a week for under 15 minutes. The book outlines the specifications for the lenses. They are also plain lenses in that they have no prescription.

Two weeks ago I went for my fitting and this Sunday (July 29) I went to pick them up and I got to try them. I only wore them for about 2 minutes. He first made me wear them on one eye at a time and then I got to wear them on both eyes. The lenses made me tear up but he did tell me that that would go away after wearing them a few times.

After wearing them individually on each eye, he checked my acuity. I got to rest my eyes for a few minutes and then I got to wear them on both eyes together for a few minutes. He had me look outside and scan various images. I looked at objects nearby and far away and kept shifting and moving my eyes at the various distant objects.

He tested my visual acuity again with the eye chart and I noticed that there was an improvement. My myopia is moderately high and so with the first time looking at the eye chart, it looked quite blurry. After my second time wearing them, the blur noticibly improved.

My prescription is -8.5 in my right eye and -8 in my left eye. After those few minutes of wearing these lenses, my vision now is -6.

I chose to start using contact lenses because I will now need to start wearing a weaker prescription and since my prescription will change frequently, it is easier to get new contacts rather then keep going to get my glasses changed. It felt weird to be wearing contacts again because I used to wear way back when I was in high school.

Mr. Yee has used these Ortho C lenses on the Toronto Police Department to help them pass the visual acuity test.

I will be receiving today or tomorrow a prescription for -4.75 so I look forward to wearing the lenses again once I receive this new prescription.

Moving on Up

Greetings and Salutations,

I am officially moving out of the parent's house. I have a 2 bedroom apartment in the Burlington area. I have essentially lived in the same house for 28 years with a 4 month stint living on my own in Yellowknife. I'm looking forward to moving out. There was a moment that I thought how I will miss my parents but that moment quickly faded away as I began to think about how this is a significant moment for me as an aspiring adult.

I went furniture shopping yesterday and during the week I went out with my mom a couple of times to get stuff for the kitchen like glasses and pots and pans. I had agreed with my parents earlier that they would get me a mattress and new bed for when I moved out. They now want to spend more and get more things for me. We went shopping yesterday for furniture. I ended up picking out a leather sofa and chair, a kitchen table that matches the sofa set, a memory foam mattress and a bedroom set. I had to argue with my dad that I wanted to pay for my bedroom set because I didn't want them to pay for everything.

The whole point of moving out is to be independent. I don't mind if they get me some stuff as a gift but my dad was insistent on buying me more things. He said I should buy the tv and dvd set as well. I wanted to wait for that stuff since I wasn't planning on getting cable right away as I do not watch much tv. My parents were willing to spend $10,000 on stuff for me and I told them that I don't even expect to spend half that. I have to buy my own stuff. My dad thinks I'm being stubborn but it just is too weird if they buy everything for me.

I now have to find a roommate. I am showing my place to someone tomorrow. I am a bit concerned. I don't expect to find someone until September and the worst case would be finding someone for October. I want a female roommate because if I get a male roommate, I would be tempted to get one that is attractive and then I'll want to bang him. If I were sharing a place with more then 2 people then I wouldn't mind a male because then my libido would be diluted but if it's just me and a guy... I most likely want to bang him or at least think about banging him.

Slightly drifting into adulthood

Greetings and Salutations loyal readers,

It is a beautiful breezy day today. Normally it is humid.

I am planning to finally move out of my parent's house. I have looked at some places and found one that I like. I have one more that I need to view before I make my decision. I will either be out in August or September. My parents are driving me nuts. They don't bother me much. I usually come and go as I please. Maybe when I was a few years younger my mother would ask me the next day where was I if I stayed out late but I usually reply that I was out. Yeah Mom do you really want to know that I was late having sex with my 'special friend'. I do have a social filter!

It's time to fly the coop.
* * *
As an improvisor and one that is involved in being funny, there are periods in my life where I don't feel funny at all. I feel like I have lost all ability to make jokes. I think it's part of the creative process for me to lose all interest in comedy. It's also pretty tough when a portion of your self identity is linked to traits such as being funny and intelligent and then finding that these traits are just not there. It brings forth questions about my self identity and involves me assessing my self and my concepts.

I do believe breaks are necessary but it's just weird.

Another one of my favourite activities that I had lost motivation for was that of sexual intercourse. It has been a month but I feel my libido returning.

Happy Canada Day

Today is Canada Day.

Canada is celebrating 140 years of independence.
It's a time to get drunk,
A time to go fishing.
A time for friends.
A time to get yourself knocked up... come on think about how many April babies there are!

Go Canada Go!

Boredom Rant

Greetings and Salutations,

I'm going to be complaining in this post. I generally do not like to complain but I feel that this is something I must express.

I'm am becoming increasingly bored with my life. I take responsibility for my life and I do not blame anyone. I'm so bored with my job. I'm tired of where I am and I want more out of my life. I'm tired of my menial jobs and I want to do something else but I am just not sure. I'm keeping my options open. I could go back to school but I just don't know what to do. I also have been thinking of doing stand up comedy again but I just don't know if that's right. I have been thinking about how can I incorporate improv into stand up. I think it's been done.

I'm just a barrel of confusion.
I'm bored.
Bored fucking bored.

I can't go on like this.
I must break out but sometimes I just don't know if I can.

More lessons learned from my vacation

Greetings and Salutations,

I have never really understood why people drink. It was always something that never made sense to me. It seemed self destructive. And now I finally understand why people drink. I have become enlightened to the virtues of alcohol consumption.