A Basic Conclusion

Greetings all,

I have been doing the online dating thing for a while and I met with someone last night who's been advising me on the roommate situation since he's had experience dealing with tenants. He asked how do I screen out the crazy people out there because he seemed to be encountering lots of crazy people in his life.

I said that I have a procedure to meet me and I clearly state so in my profile the procedure to meet me and explain that it is purely for safety purposes. My procedures are as follows:
1. we exchange a few messages (demonstration of basic communication skills a must)

At this stage you can see a lot about a person and their mentality just by asking the right questions. I think it's easier to see people who have negative attitudes based on their thought processes, which I think is easier to spot in text format. You can definitely see when someone writes something and it makes no sense. Negative and unhealthy people usually think distortedly but at the same time, someone who is a good liar always says the right thing. There are signs to be found if someone is basically being genuine.

2. I give out my # if I feel safe and comfortable enough

Again, not everyone I message I give out my #. They also do not pester me for my # right away and usually pester that pester me for my #, don't get it.
One guy I corresponded with was wanting my # but I explained I don't give it out right away and then he got suspicious, like what have you got to hide? I explained my process and he basically didn't respect it and things just ended since he wasn't understanding my position.

3. we talk at least once before arranging to meet in a public place

At this point, talking over the phone as well gives me a better sense of the person and many people I do chat with on the phone, we never meet because perhaps they knew this wasn't a match.

I find that the people who are crazy do not respect the boundaries that I set up for myself. Most people respect these rules because they are reasonable but people with issues usually just want my # right away or want to meet right away and I don't think that is appropriate.

So my basic conclusion in how to watch out for the signs that you may be dealing with a crazy is that they basically are not willing to respect the boundaries that you have set up to protect yourself. They may argue and protest against it.

It is the normal people who respect the boundaries and therefore do not make you skip steps that you clearly outline.