I Must Be Crazy!

Greetings all,

I had mentioned in a recent post, about my current dry love life and how I had decided I wasn't going to contact the 'english muffin' whom I've been frustrated with over.

I have to admit that I like this guy so much, that I actually did a flow chart about whether I should email him or not. A FLOWCHART!!

I think a week earlier I had mentioned I wrote out an email, which I had no intention of sending, and I tossed it mainly since I was still angry and was not expressing that in an adult manner as it was tinged with some frustration. I decided to write something more dignified, which acknowledged the situation but was not conveying neediness or frustration.

In my flow chart, I basically attributed this status update to be what triggered the ignoringness so I was listing the possible reasons for why it occurred, and I came up with misinterpretation or his own insecurity or a form of passive aggressive. I had thought it would be justified to contact him if it was for the former but I wrote out the risks for the later as if he is insecure, this is going to cause problems down the line.

I can't believe I did a flow chart...

Anyways, I spoke with one of my male coworkers, asking how he would interpret the status and his mind thought it was dirty too.

I had emailed him yesterday afternoon and I don't care if I hear from him or not (I would like to hear from him, but I really have to not be attached).

I have thought that if someone wrote me a note like that, I probably would acknowledge it right away, but being he is a man and he basically ignored me for no legitimate reason and it was merely a misinterpretation issue, I figure he is going to mull this over, since guys don't like to admit too easily when they make a mistake.

I still can't believe I did a flow chart....
the things I do for love!

I figured as well though, if he ignored me and was offended by this status, it probably means he likes me, otherwise it wouldn't have bothered him.

Anyways, he has reasons to be a little mistrustful towards me. He was in the process of 'making the kill' and then I say this and he takes it the wrong way (I am assuming that this update is what triggering the lack of conversation between us). we've been doing this on again/off again nonesense and the last time we stopped talking, because I was getting frustrated with not having him visit or things get clearly labeled (i.e. him calling me his girlfriend). Way back when after we had experienced another period of not talking and we became friends again on facebook, one of my status updates was that I have a hot date, again me wanting to push him to want to label me as his girlfriend and to hurry it up because some other man will claim me. That seemed to work against me!

So yes, I think I have to admit things have not been progressing as smoothly with him as I would have liked. I figured I maybe should extend some sort of olive branch. I think this could work. He is probably one of few people that when I talk to him, I never feel bored and I always smile.

I'm just trying to learn my lessons and do what I think is right.

a flow chart!!!
I am crazy!