Pessimism and the summer

Well the summer is officially here. I'm generally not a fan of the summer, particularly in this area because it gets so humid and I don't really like humidity.

I started working out last week with kettlebells. Actually I just own one and it's a 26 pounder. I thought I'd use it to complement my qigong practice and gain some strength. I got this dvd called From Russia with Tough Love: Kettlebell exercises for a femme fatale. Kettlebells were apparently popular in Russia. I've only been doing half of the exercises on the dvd because the 26 pounder is heavy. They are not like dumbells but look like a cannonball with a handle. I was sweating quite a bit during my last workout and I usually don't sweat. My legs were quite sore as well.

I'm almost finished summarizing my Philosophy of Freedom and am on Chapter 13. There are 14 chapters in the book. This chapther is quite lengthy but it is worth reading it because it discusses the value of life and deals with the question of optimism versus pessimism. I think for myself, I consider myself fairly optimistic but I wasn't always that way and was more pessimistic. I think many people believe that being pessimistic is more realistic then being optimistic. But I have come to see that the more realistic an individual is, the more optimistic they will be. I have realized that pessimism is a result of irrationalism. Optimism isn't about pretending everything is all skittles and sunshine. I think to truly be optimistic, one has to really struggle internally. I know for myself, the pessimism and negativity I have overcome within myself has been a result of great struggle. I still consider myself pessimistic in certain areas.

I stopped doing my mantra disciplines about 2 weeks ago. I normally like to finish what I start but I just had to take a break and reevaluate what I'm doing. You would think chanting would be easy but it's not. The more I kept doing them, the more impatient I was getting and I kept getting more frustrated and thinking that it's not helping. So I'm going to take a much needed break from mantra meditation.
I got this new cd program that teaches a pranayama breathing technique. It's used for cleaning out the aura and it's some sort of bellow breathing technique. It's actually simple but I find it hard to sustain the breathing style. There's a lot of praise for this cd and it's a cd program from Thomas Ashley-Farrand from sanskritmantra.com and so I generally tend to like his work.

I saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith last night. I don't really find Angelina very attractive. It's those lips. They just look too big. My friend seems to like them because he imagines how good they might feel if she were going down on him. I tried to explain to him that a good blow job has nothing to do with a person's lips. Most lips are pursed anyways when going down. Angelina would only have the advantage when going up the shaft. A good blow job is dependent on good hand mouth synchronization and good tongue action. If Angelina is good at blow jobs, it's not because of her lips it's because she would have good technique.

I think if Angelina would meet me, she would fall for me and desire to have sex with me. I would have to turn her down because I'm not attracted to her and generally am not attracted to women. I think Angelina would find me mysterious and would be attracted to me because I'm a thinker and she seems like someone who might be interested in philosophical ideas.