Unfriending

Greetings all,

I unfriended a couple of people on my facebook. These were people that I met at the Staircase improv but hardly saw them anymore. One of them I dated for about 2 months and he was banned apparently from the Staircase. I was living in Toronto at the time so I actually don't really know why.

I had noticed that a lot of people like to act as posers on the internet. The ones that irk me the most are those who claim to be nerds/geeks when they are not and those that claim to be spiritual when it's just an interest.

For me, these posers irk me the most because these are identities I resonate with and I don't think they are seriously into it. One of the people who was from improv for the past 2 years from what I can tell has become more into spirituality. I don't know her very well but when I first met her and her boyfriend (they are now married), they both struck me as angry people. Even on her facebook page, she comes off as rather angry at times. Being that she is part native and part white (not sure if 1/4 native, etc) but she looks like a white girl and my biggest pet peeve was how 'political' she would get about white privilege and about native issues and how white men stole the land.

This kind of talk to me is useless and frankly does not motivate me to support native issues because it just makes them come off as whiney. The big issue she would bitch about is how white people use native imagery. This is known as native appropriation, which is something many in this community seem angry about. First of all, this is one thing I strongly disagree with because all cultures are borrowing from each other. I'm Italian. We are automatically associated with being in the mafia. There are lots of stereotypes on tv about us but do I get angry? No. I think it's a waste of my time and energy. It's like the natives seem to think they are the only culture that is experiencing this but they personalize this and fail to realize that other cultures experience it as well and are not as offended about it as they are.

I think what angers me most when they get angry over the 'appropriation' is that they don't realize people like the head dresses and feathers because it's cool looking. The native look to me is associated with being a warrior and I think this is why some people invoke it and use it. I see it as a compliment to the native community because we associate strength with that culture. This part native Laura, would post on how people would boycott some clothing designer who did an ad campaign that utilized native attire. So many white people got angry and to me this was all just silliness.

They are getting upset when they don't realize that people's intentions aren't to hurt natives. Then they have the balls to compare it to black face, which it isn't. I think the biggest mistake the native community is getting angry about trivial issues, which is what I see this whole appropriation nonsense as. They also get upset over the sports teams logos and forget that most people don't give a shit about sports!

I would rather talk about meaningful issues. Like the poverty issue they face. Not this superficial nonsense. How is getting angry over people dressed in feathers going to help elevate their status? Seriously it isn't. I just think for me, it's better to deal with the real issues like the living circumstances and their political rights and health, not these trivialities.

Anyways, this Laura was quite the hypocrite because on one of her 2 facebook accounts, she posted something on encouraging people to buy native fashion wear. Face palm.

She runs her own fitness business doing nia classes and now seems to be branching into native medicine wheels. Again, she is just a white girl who probably had some exposure to the native culture growing up and attended a few pow wows because of her part nativeness but... she grow up in the white man's world and I highly doubt that she immersed herself to the point where she would be qualified to teach people about medicine wheels. Frankly I think that's a huge disservice to the native community. I would rather learn about that from someone who is living the native life, not some white girl who has some exposure to the culture. I can't imagine learning anything deep from her because I just feel she is so superficial and is really more about looking spiritual than actually being spiritual and having a discipline.

As part of her health and wellness business, she labels herself as a spiritual geek. This was what inspired me to write my facebook statuses about people who are geek/nerd posers and spiritual posers. She happens to be both. What makes her a spiritual geek? Because she's read a couple of books? No that doesn't make one a geek. How can you even be a spiritual geek? I just don't get it. I've read lots of Steiner/anthroposophical books and have read many New Age/Spiritual books but I wouldn't even dare call myself a spiritual geek. I mean really?

There are several images of her marketing where she utilizes native imagery and dresses up in the gear but why is it okay for her to do this? She is exploiting her own native history for profit and frankly that's more inappropriate than the white people she bitches about appropriating her 'culture'.

I just felt like this person is so image obsessed but is truly superficial and I wouldn't listen to a word she says. She even has the balls to create memes and quoting herself, or quoting herself on her facebook status. Most of her 'quotes' aren't really inspirational or intelligent or meaningful. It's all just pompous sounding. It's all just BS to make her look and sound spiritual when people like me, who have actual spiritual practices, can tell the inauthenticity.

She has friends that constantly praise her and so her ego eats it up and yet I won't engage in that ass kissing because that's what it is. It's just boosting her ego and not actually making her a better, spiritual person.

I realized a few weeks ago that her husband unfriended me. I was a little hurt because I didn't have much against him but I just thought it was rude to do that. I maybe see him once every few years but still I feel because I go to the Staircase every so often, it's sort of the bond that connects me to these people that I don't get to see often.

I decided to unfriend her as well because the truth is that they are angry, pot smoking people and I frankly had enough of her fake ass 'I'm spiritual and I'm native so I'm super amazing'. I just find her overall arrogant and I notice that some people from that community are arrogant but since I moved to Toronto, it has humbled me and these people are just so small and insignificant but are so convinced of their greatness, when they are just ordinary people.

Anyways, I didn't unfriend her 2 accounts until after I unfriended the ex I dated for 2 months. After my status voicing how I felt about spiritual posers, he made some rude comment about me and I replied back, "when was the last time you talked to me?" No reply. I haven't seen him in probably 6 years and I've changed a lot and have grown as a person and his comment was a way to belittle me, which he is known for doing.

He generally doesn't comment on my posts but the few times he did, it had that same belittling tone. A common issue I had with some members from the Staircase back in the olden days was how belittling some people were to me. I guess I accepted it but as I grew older, I realized it was unnecessary. I already unfriended one person who doesn't go to improv anymore but whom was part of the community and a facebook friend. His name was Ash and he was rather verbally abusive towards me in the sense that he would belittle me. This ex, Craig was good friends with Ash and I'm not surprised. Like attracts like.

Ash was good friends as well with Gary, part native Laura's husband. Again, I would characterize these people as angry and this is why they would belittle me at times. Gary also belittled me at times but not as much as the others. They all think they are super funny and talented but I think they are all deluded.

I emailed Craig saying I was going to unfriend because his behaviour was inappropriate and all he did was reply back LOL. This was pretty much how my email conversation went with Ash when I unfriended him a few years ago and sent a goodbye email. He didn't seem to give a shit that he was being mean and hurtful. Just made it out to be my problem that I felt hurt.

I don't need people like that in my life, even if it's just my facebook life so I unfriended the rest of the toxic people I met from improv.

I remarked on facebook how I was uncomfortable with certain people in improv but never had the courage to voice how they were verbally abusive i.e. their belittling of me. Now that I am older, I won't put up with it but also have been exposed to more different types of people and realize there are better people out there that are funny and not abusive towards others. It's wrong frankly. This experience made me very wary and cautious towards the new people that come out to improv but I notice I don't get this belittling from them. It's frankly not right. I've had to brush off a lot of hurtful things and eventually I realize what they said was wrong. It's not easy to be sensitive and be around people who are toxic. I hope one day they clear their emotional garbage but who knows.

I'm a deeply sensitive person but I don't talk about it and hide it well for the most part but it's there and I need to avoid these types of people. They are nothing but garbage.