My Meditation Practice

I've been doing Kundalini Yoga (KY) for about 4 years now. I learned about it years ago but never practiced it as I was practicing hatha yoga and then qigong. When I first was learning KY, I felt it was by far the most effective technology for helping me gain emotional and internal strength. I began doing hatha yoga at 18 and was very much into practicing mindful activities like yoga because I felt they helped with my anxiety and fears in life and gave me a tool to help cope with the stresses of life. Kundalini yoga took me to a whole other level. It was by far the most fastest tool to help clear old emotional debris and to help me process my anger, fears and frustrations in a positive manner. I found working with the meditation Ganpati Kriya (GP) was a very powerful meditation for me.

It was emotional to work with and many tears were shed during this meditation. It was also soothing and it would leave me feeling more relaxed and more at peace. Sometimes it took me on an emotional roller-coaster but that is to be expected when one decides to begin the process of cleaning the mind and subconscious.

For over a year, however, I felt like I had plateaued in my kundalini yoga and meditation practice. Back in 2010 I was learning the healing technology called Sat Nam Rasayan, which is under the umbrella of Kundalini Yoga. That took my meditation practice to another level. I was learning a lot about being non-reactive and learning how to accept all experiences instead of rejecting the negative and learning how to be neutral. Even though I was doing a lot of growing and learning with the Sat Nam Rasayan component of Kundalini Yoga, I was still feeling like I was plateauing in my personal practice.

I currently am working towards increasing my time in Sat Kriya. I've worked with this kriya a lot and even though I'm quite experienced in practicing it regularly, I still feel with that kriya I have something to strive for. I don't doubt with that kriya that I've hit a plateau like I do with ganpati kriya. I was stuck at doing 11 mins and decided if I wanted to be more comfortable with doing 31 mins, I would have to figure out a different approach. I learned about the Sat Kriya workout and this method involved doing sat kriya in 3 or 5 mins increments. I started to do that and am now able to doing 15 or 20 mins more consistently and with less struggle. Eventually I hope to be able to do 31 mins on a more regular basis.

Ganapati kriya was very transformative for me but I did wonder if I got all that I could with the meditation. I wondered if it was time to commit myself to other meditations. I tried sodarshan chakra kriya which Yogi Bhajan said is the highest meditation there is in kundanlini yoga. I tried it many times and have done a few 40 day disciplines but I could never click with this meditation. I never felt 100% about it being the best meditation for me.

I asked some of the regulars in my Sat Nam Rasayan group if it was possible to tap out all the benefit from a meditation but their response was that you can always learn and get something from a meditation. It never stops. I also posted this question on another forum for KY and the response was similar. Meditation is a life process and is supposed to be like cleaning your teeth except you are cleaning your mind. You never stop cleaning your teeth and if you use the best toothpaste and brush, you still have to practice it. You can never be done with cleaning your teeth. It is just part of your daily care.

I did do GP a few times after taking a break from it. I did it last night and I enjoyed doing it. I was yawning a lot, which is usually a good sign since it means it is something I am relaxing to.

I felt like maybe I am expecting too much from ganpati. Who knows how it will enhance my life. Maybe it seems like not much is going on but maybe it is working on a deeper level of my consciousness that I probably don't even have the capacity to be aware of at this stage in my life.

I recently got the book by Gurcharan The 21 Stages of Meditation and I think that was helpful in helping me figure out what to do with my practice. I was wondering why do I meditate. Why practice? I think the book was helpful in giving me a context with which to understand why I meditate and what the stages one can experience the more experienced they become.

I think the best thing for me to do with my practice in the long run is to make Ganpati kriya my default meditation and if there are meditations that look intriguing or strike my curiosity then I should try them. I don't need to go looking for the 'right' meditation. I think maybe I've found it already.