Shower

Greetings all,

I went to a shower for a second cousin's future wife. I don't know her, so really I didn't care to go to this. But being that I am Italian, these people run these things in a traditional manner and it's pretty much all I've been accustomed to. I think I've only been once to a non-Italian wedding and I believe they had a stag and doe, so I don't know how women normally run a shower.

This event was just too much and too long. We got to eat at a nice hall. The food was good for the most part but they draw it out and a 3 course meal got spread out in about 2 and a half hours. Normally they organize these really lame bridal games where they hand out prizes but they didn't really have too many going and there was quite a lull in between the meals.

I got to win a prize, which was a giant candle. I hate candles and offered it to people at my table. No one liked the smell of it so I thought I'd donate it to good will but then I thought, what if I just 'forget' it there? Which is what I did.

As well, it's traditional to give 'bomboniera' which translates in Italian to a wedding gift. The gift was a cup and saucer. I recently did some spring cleaning in my apartment so I got rid of stuff I don't use. I actually got rid of a tea cup set I got at my second cousin's wedding and it was still wrapped up. I have no use for because I don't drink espresso or anything like that at my place. So I had to not accept the gift in the beginning they were giving out.

I feel guilty because these events are so extravagent and all I do is complain about it. But really, I would never organize a shower like this. The structure is horrible and frankly I think these italian women in my family need to get creative and stop following tradition. We have so much in this culture. Why are we giving gifts to people that don't need it and it just creates clutter in their life. Why do we get subjected to these lame games and win these useless, tacky prizes? I'm just saying No to these poor, unconscious celebrations people organize. It's so meaningless. I'd rather eat a quick meal and then socialize with the people instead of being chained to a 3 hour meal.(a la Gilligan's Island) A 3 hour meal.

I go to these things because I want to connect with people and that only seems to happen with the people you are sitting with. And I'm not inclined to go table to table to meet people I don't know.

Anyways, I'm just glad there probably won't be any family weddings for a while.

The thing I am a bit suspicious of is that the relative that is getting married is the youngest of 3 brothers. His middle brother was the first to get married. He married his high school sweetheart and they ended up getting divorced because she went to school and fell in love with one of her classmates. The sad thing was he got married at 24, which is way too young to get married nowadays and his brother who is getting married in May will be 26 and is marrying his highschool sweetheart as well.

I know with the last marriage, I think the girl just wanted to organize a wedding - so many girls fall in love with this fantasy of marriage and don't actually realize what it really means. It's about building a future with someone. I am now wondering the same thing with this wedding. I am always skeptical of people that get married and they are that young and don't have much life experience. They don't really know what they want out of life. They just think they do. Then they get a bit more life experience under their belt and then realize they weren't the person who they thought they were.

Well, I don't know how things will work out so I'm not too concerned. I just think it would be ironic if the same thing happened again.

I think I'm a bit bitter as well since they already have a house and are getting married and are 5 years younger then me. But then I can always rationalize how much more of an exciting life I've lived, but then I can rationalize to myself how that I've been alone for that 'excitement'. Anyways, it's a bit of a drag to go to these things, I guess because I'm insecure about this part of my life.