Predictable Sundays

Greetings and Salutations,

Every Sunday my brothers come over to visit my parents and we have a family dinner. Now that I've moved out I don't have to stop by every Sunday. I can tell you, however, that even if I am not showing up for the family dinner on Sunday, I can predict exactly what will happen.

I have 3 brothers, Rob, Tony and Louie. Tony and Louie are twins and they have a mental illness, schizoprenia. Rob is the oldest and he is not the smart one in the family.

Here is what typically happens on a Sunday at my parents. My mom will begin cooking the home cooked meal around 2 or 3 pm. My brothers usually show up at around 1.30. Tony generally arrives first and is around by 1.15. He usually goes to pet the family cat Sally, who will hiss at him because she only grew up with Rob, my parents and myself so she fails to recognize that my other brothers are also part of the family. Then Louie will arrive and then they both go out to Tim Horton's to get a coffee together.

When they return they will talk about the various people in their boarding homes and share stories about how dysfunctional the people in their homes behave.

Meanwhile my dad is either watching tv or sleeping on the sofa. Either way he is lying down on the couch.

Now that my parents bought a new computer, my mother will ask me to take a look at the computer or ask me various questions. I am now the family computer expert simply because I know how to use a computer, although I really have little expertise in computers.

I usually read the newspaper from the week or be on the computer and Tony will come right up to me, place his hand on my shoulder and violate my personal space by putting his face about 2 inches from mine. I will tell him to leave me alone. He apologizes but will do the same thing next week. Several times during his visit, Tony will turn on the radio and leave the room. I usually shut it, only to have him come back and turn it on.

At some point in the afternoon, Tony and Louie will wrestle each other standing up in the hallway. I yell to my mother to tell them to stop. My mother tells them in her typical submissive fashion to "please stop you'll ruin the walls".

My other brother Rob arrives around 4 and usually arrives after going to the gym. We eat at 4.30. Louie laughs during dinner for no reason. I ask what's so funny and I can never get a straight answer. I scowl and wonder why I was brought into this family. Rob is quiet and you can sense the tension between Rob and my dad.

Rob will share some useless facts during dinner in order to prove that he is intelligent although it just reinforces the fact that he isn't that bright. He would appear smarter if he didn't try so hard.

After dinner, my brothers all retreat to the basement, where Rob typically watches tv and my other brothers discuss various things and frequently discuss the behaviour of people and how little sense it makes. Louie will remark at some point "This life is a laugh".

So folks, that's basically what happens at my parent's house every Sunday. I could stop going for months and the behaviours I've just described will occur.