Tropical Blowjobs

I went to my cousin's baptism dinner for his son a couple of weeks ago. In a previous entry I wondered why he would do so, etc etc. I will have you all know that although I may not agree with how people run their life, I usually like to be nice and civilized towards them, unless of course they are doing something evil. I am a proponent of free will.

Anyways, my cousin emailed me some pictures that he took from the baptism. One of them was of my twin brothers and me. I decided not to smile. I wasn't angry, it was a neutral pose. I was surprised by my hotness in the photo. I haven't figured out how to smile and not look goofy on camera because usually when I do smile - it's goofy looking. I was also surprised by the fact that in that photo, I looked...normal. Wow! I never look normal in photos.

From now on no more smiling in pictures!

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I ended up having a flat fire on my way home from work. I thought there was something wrong with the tires and I had to pull over a couple of times but couldn't see the problem. Someone honked at me to inform me I had a flat tire. There was alot of traffic on the road so I ended up going really slow anyways. I pulled over at the mall which normally is a 5 minute drive and that was when the flat tire was visible. I had to call CAA and they were there quickly. I'm not really into cars but I figure I should learn how to fix a flat tire. I had a tire go flat about 2 years ago during a really bad snow storm and luckily someone choose to help me out since I was on the highway with no cell phone. It looks fairly simple to do. The CAA guy had some simple looking jack that looked stable and I asked where I could find something like that. Princess Auto or Crappy Tire (he didn't call it Crappy Tire, that's just what I called it). So I think I'll do that. I liked that jack. It looked simple to use.

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I am beginning to think my informant at work is starting to have a crush on me. My crush at work seems to be sick as the past 2 weeks his schedule states he is absent but now it says for next week he is off. Perhaps my informant has injured him physically in an attempt to divert my lusty feelings for my crush towards my informant. My informant has probably realized that I am easily distracted at times and so has gotten rid of all competition in an attempt to win me over.

This will never work. So many men lust and desire me. I am almost the perfect woman. I have the innocence of a child and the sex drive of an whore, but not one who's into crack, but a whore who is into nature and trees. A tree-huggin' whore if you will. Yes I have the innocence of a child and the sex drive of a tree-huggin' whore.

Every day I always think some man desires me. Some man at work or some man on the street. Every day. I will think 'this person wants me'. I'm either arrogant or delusional. I like to think I'm arrogant because they haven't developed medication for arrogance.

Or maybe I just think about lust and sex too much. I probably lust for men almost as much as I think they lust for me. Perhaps all my thinking about how men desire me is really all about how much I desire them.

Damn it everything always seems to come back to projection...

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I have finished last week reading Steiner's Broken Vessels. I liked that book. I will start reading this weekend his book on Colour. It is based on Goethe's Theory of Colour.