Greetings all,
Today is my day off so I spent it by indulging in online news and the main news story seems to be the Ghomeshi sex/violence story. I heard about this on Facebook on Sunday (I think) when he first posted his Facebook status saying how some 'jilted ex' is ruining his career. When I first read it, I knew it was BS because I've seen that type of behaviour from abusers. They take no responsibility for what goes on in their life and then blame someone else for the bad that occurs. A lot of people were hating this woman who stepped up and basically it was all about blaming the woman.
I never followed his radio show but when I first saw him, I thought he was gay and good looking so I'm surprised to learn that he would go after women. He seems likeable too and because he was good looking, I think people probably had a hard time grasping he could be like that but I know that you can never trust someone until you know them personally for several years because different scenarios reveal different sides of a person. It is sad when you see someone who seems like a good person and then learn of this evil. His behaviour is definitely evil. A flawed human we all can love and accept but this is just evil and wrong.
Now we are hearing more stories of women coming out, 8 to date and now everyone who was hating on this woman is now hating on Ghomeshi. I checked out his facebook profile and lots of people were spewing hate, calling him a monster, etc.
I think he's guilty but I don't think it's right to call him a monster and to basically lash out at him. Is it going to make him change? I doubt it. There's obviously something wrong with him but is it something he can change with psychotherapy or is he just like a sociopath who basically does not have the capacity to change?
The other thing that bothers me is how people think these women are lying because they didn't report it right away. I haven't experienced sexual abuse and there was a couple of incidences of weird/scary sexual behaviour I've experienced but I wouldn't think to report it because it would be a waste of time. I read too that false accusations only occur 2% of the time and the vast majority of sexual abuse goes unreported.
I think it's sad that we as a culture and on a global scale, have this negative belief on sexual abuse and blame the victim. Why is it with other crimes, we don't treat them the same way? Is it because the crime is sexual and sex is something where the lines can be easily blurred? I had a woman attempt to steal my purse and I was shaken badly. I called the cops but nothing was done anyways. I wasn't made to feel like a criminal and had a witness. But on some level, even I too felt like I hope they don't think I'm making this up.
And people like Ghomeshi know full well they have power and they abuse it and can get away with it. If I were a victim, I probably would just avoid him and move on with my life. People just assume you want a piece of them, when really all you want is justice.
All this sexual abuse that I read about, not just Ghomeshi but like one woman somewhere in the Middle East was recently hung because she killed or attack a man that raped her, just really makes me realize how scary and hard it is to be a woman.
I think for me, I just grew up accepting that you have to be tough but because society is so cruel to women in so many ways, it makes it difficult to want to vulnerable. I feel deep down I am very gentle and vulnerable, like most people and yet society forces you to be tough and to protect yourself. There really is not much you can do other than be mistrustful of people and cut out all the rotten apples out of your life.
Society has a lot of negative programming to fix, particular when it comes to the rape culture and the hate there is about women.
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