Psycho Girl

Greetings all,

I actually had my meeting with my roommate on Sunday night and it lasted for an hour and 20 minutes and off I went to my book group.

My roommate is officially psycho. I think I realized that she really is just immature and still has a lot of growing up to do. She just doesn't compromise well and is very much 'her way or the highway'.

She had a chance to speak about things after I was done and was still complaining how I was complaining at her last party about how I wanted the music to be lowered at 2.45 am. She kept harping I was jealous because I went to the other parties and didn't complain about the noise. I didn't go to that party because I was recovering from a cold. I don't know why I was not complaining about the music at the other parties but maybe the music wasn't blaring at 2.45 am. This is just such a stupid thing to argue for because all I ask is for the music to be lowered and here she makes a big drama that I am treating her like a child. I don't want to be the drag in the party so lowering the music to me sounds like a fairly reasonable request.

In her mind she justifies things by saying that she doesn't have parties all the time so having the music blaring so late is okay since she doesn't normally. It's not okay because I don't appreciate it and need to sleep with minimal noise. I pay rent too. It's just as much my space as hers. She just doesn't get it. Since I plan to move out to Toronto, I don't see the point in getting a new roommate, otherwise I would have asked her to leave.

She also has an issue with the way I clean and still insists she is the better cleaner.
Whatever!
She claims to be anal about cleaning which is fine but she doesn't have the right to demand that I clean as well as she claims she cleans. I clean as best as I can and don't appreciate being told that I am inadequate in that department. If she thinks my cleaning sucks and it's so important to her, then she needs to leave and find another place to stay. I cleaned the apartment a few weeks ago and she said she could still see hairs on the sink.
Whatever!
I know how much she doesn't like hair so I know that I clean things properly. I think she is just making that up!
She claims that she wears her heart on her sleeve and that she stands up for herself and doesn't take bullshit from anyone but I think those are fancy code words for "I'm really a drama queen" and "I'm a bully so it's my way or no way"

I began talking about the night where she called at 1.19 am so she apologized for that but then she complained how she didn't like my tone with her. I told her the next day (I was extremely pissed) in a calm tone with anger underlying it that I was not impressed and that we will talk about it another time. She saw that as me talking to her like a child.
Bitch I ain't talking to you like a child, I'm talking to you like an angry woman who rudely got woken up in the middle of the night!

I am still seething with anger and may have a follow up meeting because I had some things to clarify.

I also tried to explain to her that the lights on the Christmas tree are not a fire hazard and I told her that I did research but she wouldn't even acknowledge it and kept insisting like a psycho that she doesn't want her dog at risk and that her dog is her life (which is really sad if you invest yourself so emotionally into something that isn't human. I love my cat but one day she will dead and she can never replicate the love I get from people).

I had no choice but to agree to her stupid fear which really angers me. I am right but again am being forced to accommodate her to maintain the peace.

The other thing I complained about, which largely is because she is always nit-picking me is about the shower curtain. I usually leave it open after my bath and she closes it. She insists that it has to be closed. Here she wouldn't budge on this and insisted it be closed. I don't care and I am not going to close it. One day I caught myself closing but I say fuck it, I am not here to accommodate her. I leave it open and that's my style. She insists people will see it and they shouldn't. I say who cares? I don't even have people over and even if I did, I wouldn't care what they think.

This brings me to another issue. Since she likes having people over and I don't bring my friends over, she seems to think I'm some sort of social charity case. I'm not. I probably go out socializing more then she does but I like GOING OUT as opposed to bringing people to my house.

That's basically the bottom line. I have a certain way of doing things and she just needs to accept it. I'm not going to change the fact that I like to sleep without blaring music or that I like the curtain open. I am willing to compromise but I'm not compromising my opinions or my style. What bothers me is that she thinks it's okay to criticize my habits but I should not even dare to criticize hers. Living with someone is a 2-way street and this is my apartment as well. I felt bad that I had to bring up these petty issues but I was doing it because that's what she does to me and normally I just don't say anything and let her analness slide but Sunday night was a time for me to let her know I'm not to be bullied.

What also disturbs me is that she is so defensive about being treated like a child. Is asserting my needs treating her like a child? No but that's what she thinks and she needs to get over herself and realize that she is wrong.

In my mind as well, I am really the one in charge and I feel that I am pretty laid back and accommodating and do try to smooth over differences so that there is harmony and that we are both happy. I don't tell her how to run her life. I just expect bills to be paid, people to be respected and quiet.
The apartment is in my name and so are the bills. The furniture is all pretty much mine with the exception of her 2 couches.