Baptism

I am going to attend this family dinner this Sunday to celebrate my cousin's new baby getting baptized. My mother - a regular church goer - helped them arrange the baptism at her Catholic church and fill out the required papers and make the appointment for the baptism. My mother did this a few weeks ago and it sparked this huge argument.

First of all, I like my cousin and do not know why they are baptizing their new son. The mother is Anglican and my cousin and his parents (i.e. my aunt and uncle) are not religious, church going people. They all have been baptized and did the Confirmation thing. Confirmation is done at 14 and it is basically like baptism except without all the water. You 'consciously' choose to be Catholic when you do this sacrament.

My mother telling me that she was helping them get a baptism arranged triggered a great deal of anger in me. I didn't know why they would want to get the son baptized. My cousin is the creative artsy type, sort of like me and it didn't make sense that they would want to baptize their son. Creative arsty people usually don't believe in religion, especially one that is archaeic in its views.

I somehow got angry at my mother after she told me this. I started getting angry about why they would want to do this and then this somehow led us to how my mother would force me to go to church when I was younger. She would always force me to go to church even though I didn't want to. Around 13 and 14, I started questioning life and the whole idea of church just didn't make sense. And it was boring. By 14 and 15, I would get angry every Sunday and strongly protest how I didn't want to go. She wouldn't listen to what I had to say and she said I had to go because that's what you are supposed to do. I told my mother during this argument that what she did to me was spiritual rape. They were strong words but that's what she did to me whether she wants to accept it or not. You don't force your spiritual/relgious beliefs onto anyone. You don't make them do spiritual/religious practices that they do not agree with.

My dad was also present and he has the same mentality as my mother. He thinks religion is great but I've heard too many horrible history stories to respect any religious institute. The stupidiest thing he said that night was "Religion gives you freedom". Wow, that quote is dumb enough to be a Bush quote! I could have ranted on about how religion is the complete antithesis of that statement. Religion has never given people freedom. Religion takes away people's freedom. It is people who have to fight for freedom from religion.

Finally I felt that my cousin may potentially be acting like a hypocrite. Religion is something that you practice. Each religion is different. Catholicism has certain requirements and going to church on a regular basis, as far as I understand, is part of being Catholic. I don't know if he plans on going to church because he can start going. If that is the case, then he wouldn't be a hypocrite.

As far as I am concerned, if you plan on making your child join a religion, then you have to be a good role model and practice your religion the way that the religion dictates that it should be practiced. A Catholic isn't a Catholic because they are baptized. It takes time and some effort to practice this religion. A musician isn't a musician just because they have an instrument. They practice. A tennis player isn't one because they've taken a few lessons. They practice.

Although I despise religion, if you are going to have a religion, then you better make sure you are going to give it the proper attention and committment, otherwise there is no point in joining.

My mother also 'counter argued' that I should go to church because I got Confirmed. Frankly, I think the Church sets the age for it too low. I had my doubts about Confirmation and wasn't even sure I wanted to do it. There were only 1 or 2 people who didn't do it because I think they weren't Catholics. Everyone else in my class was doing it and so I just went along with what everyone else was doing. I was 14. How many 14 year olds have enough courage to go against the crowd? If Confirmation was to be done at 16, I probably would have not done it because by that age I had enough courage to go against the crowd and do what I thought was right for myself. It looks like the church knows how to guilt and manipulate people and get them 'in' at the right age.