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I've been practicing my mantra meditations again. I started up a few months ago again after taking a month's break. It felt like longer. It's amazing how a week feels like a month for me. I feel like saying very little as I am deep in my meditations and it always feels like you're some miner or something, plumbing the depths of your soul and thoughts will bubble up or things get murky or you realize how stupid a once held previous belief or idea was. I'm at that stage where it's quiet but it's still digging deeper. I'm just waiting for something to come out, whether it is positive or negative. I've been trying to look for research online on the benefits of mantra meditation but I haven't found anything yet that meets my scientific requirements.

I'm practicing just a couple now. I have 2 main issues I am focusing on. My previous meditation attempts may not have gone as well because I was doing several and that can dilute your efforts. I've read that some disciplines may require the chanting of 125000 repititions to attain mantra siddha. In one book, someone had to do 3 of these to solve his dilema. Another person only did it for 2 weeks. It's all dependent on your particalur karma and so that's why I think for me these 2 issues that I am working on are more stubborn so I am making it a goal to do the 125,000 reps. I might do 3 of these if necessary. I'm going to see how it goes.

It doesn't take me long. I'm setting time in the morning and at night. I'm doing about 21 minutes or 7 rounds of 108, twice daily for my one discipline. The other one involves 2 mantras and I am doing 3 rounds of 108 for both, twice daily. That takes me 9 minutes for the one and 12 for the other. So my minimum meditation time is approximately 84 minutes. It's manageable for me, especially since I do it twice. I'm also keeping track of any extra rounds of 108 that I am doing.

I wonder if mantras are effective because there is really something to the sounds that they produce. I'm doing sanskrit mantras and it is based on the chakra system and that certain sounds stimulate certain parts of the chakras. I also wonder if it helps just because you are saying the same thing over and over.

I can't really say for sure. Because I'm under 28, I cannot use swaha as an ending. Many mantras end in swaha or namaha and if you are under 28, any swaha ending must be changed to namaha. It has to do with the energy of someone under 28 isn't ready for swaha. It might be related to that idea of Saturn making a full solar cycle in 28 years and so a human under 28 hasn't made a full solar cycle. Anyways, my point is that I rebelled because I am a spiritual rebel and I would chant my one mantra that normally ends with swaha instead of changing it to namaha. I might have switched the ending a week into it. I did it for a week but I starting to feel like I really shouldn't and I felt a bit off, like using this ending was too intense for me. Things were more normal when I went back to the namaha ending. But then I decided to try it again because I am impatient in my spiritual pursuits and I had that similar experience of where I was starting to feel it was too intense. I found myself more irritable.

I actually have a mantra program for relationships and there is a mantra for finding a spiritual wife and one for finding a spiritual husband. I want to do the discipline for finding a man but I've got other issues to work on and finding a mate isn't my top priority. The mantra for finding a wife has 13 words in it. Guess how many the mantra to find a husband is? It's only 4 words!

It's common for people in these new age groups to believe that they create their own realities but I have found that I don't have enough wisdom to create my own life. I have to submit my will to a higher will, a more all knowing will. I don't always know what's best for me. I may have a certain direction that I want a discipline to take but I can only do my work and let the universe or god sort out the rest. I don't run the show but I do have control over my life.