Ciao Old Man

Greetings all,

I ended up ending things with Old Man Winter. We have been dating for 2 months. I had been wanting to go away to Vermont for Thanksgiving weekend, which is this weekend. He didn't tell me until Monday that he had his son for this weekend (He had him last weekend and normally gets him every other weekend) I was upset about this because I really wanted to get out of this country because I haven't been travelling with much, considering I was out of work again. I couldn't shake off the anger and disappointment I felt over this. Normallly I can move on with things but the fact that I couldn't get over it means it was probably time to move on.

There have been a couple of things going on that have bothered me and although I didn't plan to end things with him last night - I did.

I say 'I guess' a lot in conversation. Some of my friends don't like it but that's how I am. I'm not going to change for anyone. I try to accept people for who they are and don't try to change them so I especially don't like how he'd bring it up a lot. It was like he couldn't tell if I meant no or yes. Usually it means yes. The other night he was bugging me about in conversation and I snapped and said that if you want a cheerleader, go out and date one as that's not how I roll.

I'm part choleric and part melancholic. So I'm not always going to be upbeat about things all the time. I'm not always going to be filled with enthusiasm. If you can't accept me for how I am, I just don't care anymore.

The other thing I was thinking was that he should be well ahead of time of when he gets his son and he seems like he's on the fly with it sometimes. I would think that you should have your schedule worked out a few months in advance and if it's been agreed that holidays are treated differently, you should know well ahead of time when you get him. I like to plan things and I'm already thinking about early retirement so I can't be with someone who's a little flakey when it comes to being organized.

I did wonder if I made a mistake and was being too quick but sometimes these things just get worse instead of getting better and sometimes you just need to nip things in the bud.

I sometimes feel like I am destined for spinsterhood. I hope not. I want to start my own family soon.

I knew this going in but I was skeptical about dating a man with a child. I thought I'd give him a chance since I felt attracted to him for so long. I guess it's okay if things don't work out but I do hope to find someone. I am just not sure if I want to try dating again. I just get so frustrated with the process and it takes so much out of me, the rejection and disappointment. Why bother with love and its search? I can take care of myself.