Greetings all,
I have made plans to go out for New Year's and hopefully will enjoy more then last year's (which was for 2009). I will be glad when this year is officially over. It has been the worst year of my life. And it didn't even start out well as I made plans for New Year's and ended up buying tickets for the wrong event. I was looking forward to New Year's this year and the event I was at was not as fun as I wanted it to be. Major letdown, but life goes on. It was full of older people. I tried to make the best of it but I think it was symbolic of how the rest of the year, every thing was falling apart.
Things were looking better for me in September. So 2/3s of the year were hellish and difficult but because the majority of the year was so bad, I feel it overides the rest of the year where things were better.
My year in a nutshell:
- dealing with a roommate who went psycho and made my life miserable for a month. followed by stalking me in my home for several days after she officially moved out (creepy!)
- dealing with a woman who ran a spiritual meetup but was a spiritual poser and had sent me negative energy. being that I was emotionally vulnerable, I was not as quick to discern that she had no spiritual authority, although she was rather arrogant and cocky that she did
- having some crazy woman try to steal my purse after I spent an afternoon job hunting at the library
- finding out my so called friend stole my wallet and said her 2 year daughter took it and used it to make a purchase at the grocery store. It took me a while to even decide to report this to the police but she had moved to PEI at this point so it was too late
- being unemployed for 8 months (not including the 4 months from last year) and having no money coming in for 3 months, thanks to this recession
- having feelings for someone whom I have known for a couple of years (long distance situation) and realizing that things weren't going to go anywhere, even though I thought this situation had some chance to work out and then deciding to end it (we were not officially a couple, which is what I wanted and that didn't seem to be happening) and officially deleting all my saved emails and my skype account
- having to deal with this all on my own, and wanting to kill myself because some days the pain was just too intense
All of this bullshit happened while I was unemployed. Life is stressful already when you are unemployed but this was just too much to deal with.
This whole year has shaken me and my ego and I am now trying to make something out of my life. This year was a blow to my ego and I am still licking the wounds. I need no patronizing and to be told to focus on the positive. The positive was just a drop in the ocean of misery I was in this year.
The good things that happened were:
- moving to Toronto. My apartment is not the greatest and I think my super is lazy and an ass but I like living in this city. There is always something to do
- finding a job. It's not my ideal job but it is paying my bills while I figure out what to do with my life
- joining an anthroposophical book group for young people where we are discussing Towards Social Renewal
- learning violin. I have gotten a new instructor, whom I think is probably better then the last so I should hopefully progress more
I have a lot of work ahead of me but I should hope next year things will get better. I hope this year will just be a year to forget and a distant memory.
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