Missing the Car

Greetings all,

It's been my first week without a car and I hate it already. I have to take 2 streetcars now to get to my Sat Nam Rasayan class on Sundays. I stopped by Kensignton Market and bought something for my dad for the upcoming Father's Day after my class. Usually I feel spacey and don't want to be around people so the ride home was awful for me because there was so many people and I feel more vulnerable to the energy around me so it just grosses me out. In my car, I just get a little flustered from all the traffic, but at least I have some feeling of privacy.

I had a job interview today and it was all the way up on Sheppard and Dufferin. It probably would have taken me about 40 minutes by car to get there but I have to take the bus and then a subway stop and then back on the bus. It took about an hour. I went home a slightly different way and took the subway all the way to Bloor and took the bus home but waiting for the bus took over 10 minutes and then 2 of them come along.

My patience is short to begin with and I am missing the convenience of a car. I have to get a job first before I can even consider a car. As well I want a condo and that costs money too. It just seems like every time I try to move forward in life, I just get pushed back. I'm tired of fighting and struggling. I've been out of work for almost a year now and this is looking bad on my resume. I've been job searching since September. I am poor! We talk about poverty in other countries. Fuck that, it's happening here!