The End

Greetings all,

As mentioned earlier, I had left the relationship forum for women last month. I have, however, been lurking on it and these past few days there has been much drama. I had mentioned that a few of the women are quite petty. One of them was rather insulting to another poster who happens to just be an antagonizer at times, but however makes valid points. The later was persistantly fighting with the moderators about how the initial poster was insulting her. The moderators have no real power, just authority. Eventually the woman who runs this business and the site decided to close down the forum. As well, she 'blocked' the antagonizing poster, although not the insulting one. It appears the blocked user created another user name and has left a few posts. Frankly, I think both were out of line and didn't think it was fair to just block one person when both should be.

I think it was quite sad but I did email her my feedback about why I left but I wasn't pointing out anyone specifically. I said I found the environment generally petty and immature and either structure it better or close it down. I really don't think I had much influence but I'm sure the woman got tired of probably receiving numerous emails from angry women who can't handle when someone says something they do not like. I think people want a supportive environment but they at the same time, some seem to want to be babied and can't handle someone saying something they don't like. They can just be so overly sensitive at times. It was annoying.

There definitely were some level headed people but it seems like the few rotten apples win out. As I was watching people's reactions and comments, I felt a bit like a social scientist. It was amusing because people would keep repeating themselves defending their point and clearly no one was budging. I think if you think you can change someone by repeating yourself, you are fooling yourself. You really need to learn to ignore someone at times, which is quite hard. I had to do this my ex-roommate. I know how people just want to put their 2 cents in but sometimes just not reacting is more effective. It just adds fuel to the fire. You can't rationalize with someone who is on defensive autopilot. Their minds are just no longer under their conscious control and logic is bypassed. I've seen it happen to myself but I see it when trying to argue with someone. It's just typical human nature.

Even as the announcement was made to close the forum, a couple of women are still using it as an opportunity to insult and be smug to people. I just can't fathom that. I really can't. I guess some people are just so unhappy with their lives. I am out of work, and therefore had the free time to watch what was going on, but I don't know how some of these women find the time. I do think a forum is useful but you do need to interact with people in the real world. I was on it less when I had a job so I was trying to not be on it too much because I realized I might use it as a means of distraction and time waster.

I know for me, I am glad I left. I realized many of these women just are not at my maturity level and probably never will be. The best thing is to not spend time with people like that because they will just bring you down. Some women just don't have class and it's sad.

I wonder if it turned so ugly because they are bitter, angry women or if it is just human behaviour. This kind of behaviour is not uncommon in forums and people have to learn to behave as they do in real life but many do not. But then people behave appropriately because most people keep conversations superficial. People don't get riled up over talking about the weather. I would think dealing with relationship issues, it might make you more vulnerable emotionally and therefore more sensitive and prickly to the advice of others. Or maybe not. I always welcome truth, even if it was something I didn't want to hear because at least you can mull it over. People just need to realize that you are the common denominator in your life so if you are consistently experiencing the same problems, then it might be you or your approach.

But it does make me wonder why this behaviour online would occur. How can people learn to govern themselves online and be civilized and tolerate disagreements? I guess relationships is a touchy issue. Or maybe not. People can be passionate and therefore sensitive to many things, like their favourite sports team.

All I can say is, humans are strange. I am almost embarrassed to have been on that site. I didn't think it would end in such a sad way.