Greetings all,
I went out on St Patrick's day with some of my coworkers. Most of them are mid 20s. We used to go eat lunch together but they don't really eat with us anymore and only a couple of us have lunch together. These people would actually want to work through their lunch, since they are so busy. This makes no sense to me, because legally we are entitled to breaks and we don't get paid for lunch. I like these coworkers but it's quite naive to work all the time. I think it actually de-enhances your productivity and performance.
Anyways, one of my coworkers who I tend to regularly eat with is 38 and I think he probably has a thing for me. We sometimes meet up with other coworkers from a different floor, but for the most part we just eat by ourselves and sometimes one of the coworkers joins us. At my last job, I would eat lunch on my own in the kitchen but I would go out for breaks with my coworkers. At least where I work, we don't have an actually place to sit and eat so we go either outside or at the food court.
So there are 7 of us who went out and I had to leave and do some research (which I never got around to). The problem with going out with young people is that they are so indecisive and take forever to get going, especially girls.
I had to eat something as well and that took time to prepare. We were supposed to leave at 5 and didn't leave until around 5.15 and then we didn't find a place until 6 since we checked out a few places and waited in line for one place which we actually never went in (they had a long line and there was a cover charge)
I wanted to leave for 7 but I didn't get to leave until just a bit past 8 and as I was leaving, the coworker who I think probably has a thing for me (who is sitting next to me) and the dialogue went as follows:
Me: I'm leaving now
Him: (annoying voice) why? (poke)
Me: I have work to do
Him: (annoying voice) why? (poke)
Me: Because I have to
Him: (annoying voice) why? (poke)
This exchange broke the comedy rule of 3 as I think he did this to me 4 or 5 times, thus being extremely annoying. The whole dialogue aggravated me and I didn't want to be around him the next day and I didn't have lunch with him as I decided to eat outside whereas he and another coworker went to the food court.
I was cool with knowing that he probably had a thing for me, which I am not willing to reciprocate but he took it to the next level - the level of flirting. The poking took me to another level of aggravation because I don't like people touching me and his poking was a physical gesture of interest. Since I didn't like him like that, it pissed me off. I don't like hugging people and I only do it if they are the hugging type because that's how they like to show affection for people. I only like to hug my mother and boyfriends.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Aim Realistically
Greetings all,
I went out for St Patrick's last Saturday. I went out playing pool with a meetup group. The organizer runs a few groups but I was signed up under her travel group. Her other group, which I found out when I arrived, was a group for singles. I knew one guy there from a boardgames meetup and he is probably around my age group. The rest of these people were all over 40. I have no problem socializing with people over 40 but sometimes I'd rather be around people my own age or at least with a mix of people. We were the only young people there so it felt weird.
Anyways, this older man was hitting on me and I really didn't know how to tell him I'm not interested. So he kept bugging me, wanting to dance or to play pool. At some point I did tell him I was not interested. I just don't want to hurt their feelings but I decided that night that if I'm not interested in someone, I will just tell them as soon as possible. I'm sure men are used to this rejection, especially the ugly kind. Why should I feel bad? Why should I date a man two or three times when I know instantly I'm not attracted to him? The problem is you want to give a man a chance, which is what I normally do. One or two dates and usually that's a good enough time frame.
As well, this man was in his 40s and I was clearly out of his league. I was way too hot. One of the men playing pool said to aim high (not sure what he was referencing), however I think men should learn to aim realistically.
This isn't the first time I have unattractive guys try to date me. I recently went on a couple of dates with one guy who befriended me on facebook (friend of a friend). Definitely not pleasing to the eye. Bad teeth, bad hair. I thought I'd give him a chance. You never know, he might have an amazing personality!
But realistically I want a man who I find attractive physically. I just don't think I should give ugly guys a chance anymore. Maybe I need to aim more realistically and not just them. I deserve a man that's as hot as I am!
I just don't understand why these men honestly think they have a chance? I know of one theory where they ask any girl and one is bound to say yes so it's just a numbers game but I think that's equivalent to spamming. So these men are women spammers.
I would think they would be more successful if they targeted specific women, namely the ugly kind.
I prefer having good looking men hit on me rather then the ugly kind. It doesn't boost my ego so you're not doing me a favour.
I went out for St Patrick's last Saturday. I went out playing pool with a meetup group. The organizer runs a few groups but I was signed up under her travel group. Her other group, which I found out when I arrived, was a group for singles. I knew one guy there from a boardgames meetup and he is probably around my age group. The rest of these people were all over 40. I have no problem socializing with people over 40 but sometimes I'd rather be around people my own age or at least with a mix of people. We were the only young people there so it felt weird.
Anyways, this older man was hitting on me and I really didn't know how to tell him I'm not interested. So he kept bugging me, wanting to dance or to play pool. At some point I did tell him I was not interested. I just don't want to hurt their feelings but I decided that night that if I'm not interested in someone, I will just tell them as soon as possible. I'm sure men are used to this rejection, especially the ugly kind. Why should I feel bad? Why should I date a man two or three times when I know instantly I'm not attracted to him? The problem is you want to give a man a chance, which is what I normally do. One or two dates and usually that's a good enough time frame.
As well, this man was in his 40s and I was clearly out of his league. I was way too hot. One of the men playing pool said to aim high (not sure what he was referencing), however I think men should learn to aim realistically.
This isn't the first time I have unattractive guys try to date me. I recently went on a couple of dates with one guy who befriended me on facebook (friend of a friend). Definitely not pleasing to the eye. Bad teeth, bad hair. I thought I'd give him a chance. You never know, he might have an amazing personality!
But realistically I want a man who I find attractive physically. I just don't think I should give ugly guys a chance anymore. Maybe I need to aim more realistically and not just them. I deserve a man that's as hot as I am!
I just don't understand why these men honestly think they have a chance? I know of one theory where they ask any girl and one is bound to say yes so it's just a numbers game but I think that's equivalent to spamming. So these men are women spammers.
I would think they would be more successful if they targeted specific women, namely the ugly kind.
I prefer having good looking men hit on me rather then the ugly kind. It doesn't boost my ego so you're not doing me a favour.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Assholes are Everywhere!
Greetings all,
I went out last night and had chatted up with someone and we briefly mentioned the topic of people. Being that I've lived in Hamilton most of my life, Burlington for 2 years, Toronto for almost 1 year and a 4 month stint in Yellowknife, he asked me if I noticed a difference between Hamilton/Burlington people and Toronto people.
I'd have to say yes to some degree because I am meeting more creative people here and I find people are more articulate in the city (based on my observations of listening to people talk on the street car).
But I think people are the same everywhere in the world. There are nice people and then there are assholes. I don't care how small a smalltown is, I'm sure there's at least 2-3 people who are assholes and that nobody likes!
I've met some interesting people in Hamilton and Burlington but I've met some crazies and ignorant types. I've worked in a lot of factories in my 20s so I definitely met a lot of these 'redneck' types. They might be ignorant but I think they are harmless and decent for the most part.
I think since the city has a larger population, it probably just seems that there are more assholes but I think there is probably some asshole ratio. Like for every 12 people, there is one asshole. I'm not sure how one can calculate this as assholes tend to stick together.
I remember when I was in Barcelona, there were 3 backpackers from either England or Scotland and they were assholes. They were staying in my room (I was in a co-ed dorm room) and I didn't like their vibe. So maybe my guess should be based on asshole clusters. How many asshole clusters exist in a group of people?
There maybe were a hundred people at the hostel I was staying at so the ratio of assholes would be 3:100 or 3%. That sounds about right doesn't it??!!
So if we look at the present population of approximately 6 billion, 3% of that is 180 000 000 (180 million). So that is how many assholes everyone on this planet is dealing with. It seems to correspond closely to the book by Martha Stout "The Sociopath Next Door" which says 1 in 25 Americans are sociopaths (4% of their population).
I would think though maybe my guess is low since every sociopath must be an asshole but not all assholes are sociopaths. The book mentions in Japan, the sociopath rate is under 2% and it is probably because their society is more socialistic and so sociopathic behaviour is deemed more inappropriate.
I went out last night and had chatted up with someone and we briefly mentioned the topic of people. Being that I've lived in Hamilton most of my life, Burlington for 2 years, Toronto for almost 1 year and a 4 month stint in Yellowknife, he asked me if I noticed a difference between Hamilton/Burlington people and Toronto people.
I'd have to say yes to some degree because I am meeting more creative people here and I find people are more articulate in the city (based on my observations of listening to people talk on the street car).
But I think people are the same everywhere in the world. There are nice people and then there are assholes. I don't care how small a smalltown is, I'm sure there's at least 2-3 people who are assholes and that nobody likes!
I've met some interesting people in Hamilton and Burlington but I've met some crazies and ignorant types. I've worked in a lot of factories in my 20s so I definitely met a lot of these 'redneck' types. They might be ignorant but I think they are harmless and decent for the most part.
I think since the city has a larger population, it probably just seems that there are more assholes but I think there is probably some asshole ratio. Like for every 12 people, there is one asshole. I'm not sure how one can calculate this as assholes tend to stick together.
I remember when I was in Barcelona, there were 3 backpackers from either England or Scotland and they were assholes. They were staying in my room (I was in a co-ed dorm room) and I didn't like their vibe. So maybe my guess should be based on asshole clusters. How many asshole clusters exist in a group of people?
There maybe were a hundred people at the hostel I was staying at so the ratio of assholes would be 3:100 or 3%. That sounds about right doesn't it??!!
So if we look at the present population of approximately 6 billion, 3% of that is 180 000 000 (180 million). So that is how many assholes everyone on this planet is dealing with. It seems to correspond closely to the book by Martha Stout "The Sociopath Next Door" which says 1 in 25 Americans are sociopaths (4% of their population).
I would think though maybe my guess is low since every sociopath must be an asshole but not all assholes are sociopaths. The book mentions in Japan, the sociopath rate is under 2% and it is probably because their society is more socialistic and so sociopathic behaviour is deemed more inappropriate.
An Unaccomplished Genius
Greetings all,
Some of you may not already know or maybe you know and have just forgotten, however, I am I believe a genius. I took the Mensa home prep test last year. Mensa is a society for people with high IQs. To be a true Mensan, you need to have an IQ in the top 2%. To be in the society, they drop it to 4%. I didn't pass and I was crushed but I asked them how close (or how far) was I from passing. I was 1% away, which means my IQ is in the top 5%.
Now this verified what I always felt about myself, that I was a genius. I wanted to take an official IQ test to get my IQ number but I never got around to it. I thought about if I would want to post it on a resume but I didn't think it was appropriate. I googled this topic and one recruiter said it would not be wise since you want to highlight your accomplishments.
When I read that, I was quite offended. I mean, being a genius is an accomplishment in itself! I would think I could handle and figure out many things because of my high intelligence. To just gloss over that being a genius is not an accomplishment is quite foolish!
Anyways, I don't really think I've accomplished much in my life but then maybe I have but don't consider them accomplishments because they are so natural to me, it doesn't seem like much. I'm a good worker and am good at organizing things, catching mistakes, thinking ahead. All of these things though, I just assume everyone can do because I would consider those things all logical things to do.
There's probably more things I do that I'm probably not aware of that makes me accomplished, but because I am more reserved about what I can do, I usually don't think much of it.
Alot of disarray in the world, I could argue is due to stupidity and thoughtlessness and being that I am a genius and insightful, I surely could figure out anything I wanted to if given a chance.
I am beginning a new phase in my life so I would like to have more accomplishments and this shall be my focus for the decade - to be an Accomplished Genius.
Some of you may not already know or maybe you know and have just forgotten, however, I am I believe a genius. I took the Mensa home prep test last year. Mensa is a society for people with high IQs. To be a true Mensan, you need to have an IQ in the top 2%. To be in the society, they drop it to 4%. I didn't pass and I was crushed but I asked them how close (or how far) was I from passing. I was 1% away, which means my IQ is in the top 5%.
Now this verified what I always felt about myself, that I was a genius. I wanted to take an official IQ test to get my IQ number but I never got around to it. I thought about if I would want to post it on a resume but I didn't think it was appropriate. I googled this topic and one recruiter said it would not be wise since you want to highlight your accomplishments.
When I read that, I was quite offended. I mean, being a genius is an accomplishment in itself! I would think I could handle and figure out many things because of my high intelligence. To just gloss over that being a genius is not an accomplishment is quite foolish!
Anyways, I don't really think I've accomplished much in my life but then maybe I have but don't consider them accomplishments because they are so natural to me, it doesn't seem like much. I'm a good worker and am good at organizing things, catching mistakes, thinking ahead. All of these things though, I just assume everyone can do because I would consider those things all logical things to do.
There's probably more things I do that I'm probably not aware of that makes me accomplished, but because I am more reserved about what I can do, I usually don't think much of it.
Alot of disarray in the world, I could argue is due to stupidity and thoughtlessness and being that I am a genius and insightful, I surely could figure out anything I wanted to if given a chance.
I am beginning a new phase in my life so I would like to have more accomplishments and this shall be my focus for the decade - to be an Accomplished Genius.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
What's Wrong with Vanilla?
Greetings all,
I was on a second date last week with some guy. Now I've been trying to be a good girl and so am keeping my sexual side out of the picture but at some point in the night, the conversation turned to my date's previous marriage about 10 years ago. He thought his wife was too 'vanilla' and wanted to do more fun stuff. For some reason, that statement irked me. What is wrong with 'vanilla' sex? I frankly think vanilla sex is good enough. Why do we feel that we always need to be sexually adventerous all the time? Why is this pressure put on women to perform and be open to all these grand sexual things?
Bah humbug I say!
I think if a woman is not too into sex, maybe it's because the man isn't doing a good job at turning her on and then seems to think it's her fault and think she's unadventerous.
Let me tell you, if you are good at pleasing a woman and finding the right buttons, you can get her going so that she never wants to stop! And doing that doesn't involve having kinky sex toys or doing really uncomfortable/ackward positions!
Her joy, is largely fueled by good oral and your own enthusiasm for sex and her body. Of course, for some women, they have issues around sex but that is a different subject. I am referencing women who are healthy emotionally and comfortable with their sexuality.
The flip side of it is that, being that I'm 31 I'm no spring sex chicken, I've done my own experimenting and now that I'm older, I'm not so inclined to do new things. My attitude is: been there, done that, let's move forward.
I used to want to have a 3-some (with 2 guys) but ever since I turned 30, I just feel I'm too old for that so I'm not really into that idea anymore.
I think I've done enough experimenting and I think I've tried it all. Well, there is still one more fantasy I have that I haven't done and that is having sex in a confessional booth. When I was a kid, I was always forced to go to church and I thought it would be cool to have sex in a confessional booth since it's the place where you confess your sins and there is a curtain that helps to create some privacy in that room. We'll see who gets to be the lucky man for that one!
I was on a second date last week with some guy. Now I've been trying to be a good girl and so am keeping my sexual side out of the picture but at some point in the night, the conversation turned to my date's previous marriage about 10 years ago. He thought his wife was too 'vanilla' and wanted to do more fun stuff. For some reason, that statement irked me. What is wrong with 'vanilla' sex? I frankly think vanilla sex is good enough. Why do we feel that we always need to be sexually adventerous all the time? Why is this pressure put on women to perform and be open to all these grand sexual things?
Bah humbug I say!
I think if a woman is not too into sex, maybe it's because the man isn't doing a good job at turning her on and then seems to think it's her fault and think she's unadventerous.
Let me tell you, if you are good at pleasing a woman and finding the right buttons, you can get her going so that she never wants to stop! And doing that doesn't involve having kinky sex toys or doing really uncomfortable/ackward positions!
Her joy, is largely fueled by good oral and your own enthusiasm for sex and her body. Of course, for some women, they have issues around sex but that is a different subject. I am referencing women who are healthy emotionally and comfortable with their sexuality.
The flip side of it is that, being that I'm 31 I'm no spring sex chicken, I've done my own experimenting and now that I'm older, I'm not so inclined to do new things. My attitude is: been there, done that, let's move forward.
I used to want to have a 3-some (with 2 guys) but ever since I turned 30, I just feel I'm too old for that so I'm not really into that idea anymore.
I think I've done enough experimenting and I think I've tried it all. Well, there is still one more fantasy I have that I haven't done and that is having sex in a confessional booth. When I was a kid, I was always forced to go to church and I thought it would be cool to have sex in a confessional booth since it's the place where you confess your sins and there is a curtain that helps to create some privacy in that room. We'll see who gets to be the lucky man for that one!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
The Pristine One
Greetings all,
I went out for karaoke with one of my meetup groups and I was the only female for some reason, which normally does not happen. Four of the guys were already married and divorced and the other 2 I think were not.
So some of them did not have healthy relationships and then it reminded me how I'm still 'pristine' in a sense since I've never been married and don't have children. I don't carry around that kind of baggage so in a sense I'm 'pristine' and in some way more valuable.
Sometimes it feels like, where are the pristine men out there? There's gotta be some normal and healthy ones that have never been married without all that emotional baggage.
I know I really wouldn't want to get involved with a man that has kids already and then I'd have to deal with an ex wife. Some women are crazy and don't train their kids properly. And then where would I fit in? I want to be the ruler of my house and if I live with someone else's kids, they play by my rules and not some other women's! I don't want to feel like i have to 'please her'. I don't bow to the pussy!
I was telling a couple of my male coworkers that if I were to be living and married with a man, my happiness has to be #1 and I get the final say in things. With my last roommate, I felt like I had to bend too much with her and she wasn't really compromising with me about things. I could only take so much of that BS before I snapped and so if I were to live with a man, I don't want someone whom I'm always letting him have things his way. I think though, I can make solutions that both parties are happy with so that is probably more what I am interested in. I am fussy about certain things but that's probably because I'm a female and I guess we can get away with being fussy about certain things. I certainly do not want to live with someone who is selfish like my ex roommate because it's selfish people who don't care about your feelings and create problems.
In a way, I could relate to them because I used to live with a bitch and I could relate to their frustration with women, especially since my crazy ex roommate was female. It always surprises me to hear horror stories about some women because I can't imagine being like that. Yes I have said mean things or lashed out in frustration to people but I try and learn from my mistakes and I genuinely want to be a good person. But some people are just rotten and don't seem to have any self awareness or awareness of how it affects people negatively. You can't be mean to people and think they will like you and do what you ask them to! Relationships are 2-way streets, not one way! You scratch my back, I scratch yours. You can't expect that your back gets the scratching all the time! But it still amazes me that people don't get that concept. I like my ego stroked but I know that's something everyone wants. We all want to feel special and important so I have to 'bow' to other people's egos if I want them to bow to mine.
Anyways, some of these men were saying what were some of their issues in the relationships but we women are not all that dysfunctional. As well, if a relationship dissolves, you have to ask yourself what role did you play in it? Were you not expressing your needs and being assertive? Are you not setting appropriate boundaries?
Some men just bend too much and give too much. You should want to be with a woman that can take care of herself. You can't give and not have her reciprocate. That's too one sided. I think you have to find the lesson with these people. I can say at least with my ex roommate, she was selfish and if you spot someone who is selfish, avoid them as best you can. I probably should have ended things with her sooner. It's hard to assert yourself when dealing with selfish people because they just don't listen but you've got to figure out what works according to the situation. They have to follow rules you set otherwise cut 'em loose!
I went out for karaoke with one of my meetup groups and I was the only female for some reason, which normally does not happen. Four of the guys were already married and divorced and the other 2 I think were not.
So some of them did not have healthy relationships and then it reminded me how I'm still 'pristine' in a sense since I've never been married and don't have children. I don't carry around that kind of baggage so in a sense I'm 'pristine' and in some way more valuable.
Sometimes it feels like, where are the pristine men out there? There's gotta be some normal and healthy ones that have never been married without all that emotional baggage.
I know I really wouldn't want to get involved with a man that has kids already and then I'd have to deal with an ex wife. Some women are crazy and don't train their kids properly. And then where would I fit in? I want to be the ruler of my house and if I live with someone else's kids, they play by my rules and not some other women's! I don't want to feel like i have to 'please her'. I don't bow to the pussy!
I was telling a couple of my male coworkers that if I were to be living and married with a man, my happiness has to be #1 and I get the final say in things. With my last roommate, I felt like I had to bend too much with her and she wasn't really compromising with me about things. I could only take so much of that BS before I snapped and so if I were to live with a man, I don't want someone whom I'm always letting him have things his way. I think though, I can make solutions that both parties are happy with so that is probably more what I am interested in. I am fussy about certain things but that's probably because I'm a female and I guess we can get away with being fussy about certain things. I certainly do not want to live with someone who is selfish like my ex roommate because it's selfish people who don't care about your feelings and create problems.
In a way, I could relate to them because I used to live with a bitch and I could relate to their frustration with women, especially since my crazy ex roommate was female. It always surprises me to hear horror stories about some women because I can't imagine being like that. Yes I have said mean things or lashed out in frustration to people but I try and learn from my mistakes and I genuinely want to be a good person. But some people are just rotten and don't seem to have any self awareness or awareness of how it affects people negatively. You can't be mean to people and think they will like you and do what you ask them to! Relationships are 2-way streets, not one way! You scratch my back, I scratch yours. You can't expect that your back gets the scratching all the time! But it still amazes me that people don't get that concept. I like my ego stroked but I know that's something everyone wants. We all want to feel special and important so I have to 'bow' to other people's egos if I want them to bow to mine.
Anyways, some of these men were saying what were some of their issues in the relationships but we women are not all that dysfunctional. As well, if a relationship dissolves, you have to ask yourself what role did you play in it? Were you not expressing your needs and being assertive? Are you not setting appropriate boundaries?
Some men just bend too much and give too much. You should want to be with a woman that can take care of herself. You can't give and not have her reciprocate. That's too one sided. I think you have to find the lesson with these people. I can say at least with my ex roommate, she was selfish and if you spot someone who is selfish, avoid them as best you can. I probably should have ended things with her sooner. It's hard to assert yourself when dealing with selfish people because they just don't listen but you've got to figure out what works according to the situation. They have to follow rules you set otherwise cut 'em loose!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Shower: Part 2
Greetings all,
I neglected to mention another thought I had while at the shower on Sunday.
One of the games they had us do was guess when the couple will have their first child and what names should they give them. I chose not to play that but in my head I was thinking (is this the comic in me or the intuitive mind reader?) she'll miscarry her first.
(yes that is a cruel thought but you know there are people out there who do miscarry and it can happen!)
I guess maybe it was good that I didn't play that game!
I neglected to mention another thought I had while at the shower on Sunday.
One of the games they had us do was guess when the couple will have their first child and what names should they give them. I chose not to play that but in my head I was thinking (is this the comic in me or the intuitive mind reader?) she'll miscarry her first.
(yes that is a cruel thought but you know there are people out there who do miscarry and it can happen!)
I guess maybe it was good that I didn't play that game!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Shower
Greetings all,
I went to a shower for a second cousin's future wife. I don't know her, so really I didn't care to go to this. But being that I am Italian, these people run these things in a traditional manner and it's pretty much all I've been accustomed to. I think I've only been once to a non-Italian wedding and I believe they had a stag and doe, so I don't know how women normally run a shower.
This event was just too much and too long. We got to eat at a nice hall. The food was good for the most part but they draw it out and a 3 course meal got spread out in about 2 and a half hours. Normally they organize these really lame bridal games where they hand out prizes but they didn't really have too many going and there was quite a lull in between the meals.
I got to win a prize, which was a giant candle. I hate candles and offered it to people at my table. No one liked the smell of it so I thought I'd donate it to good will but then I thought, what if I just 'forget' it there? Which is what I did.
As well, it's traditional to give 'bomboniera' which translates in Italian to a wedding gift. The gift was a cup and saucer. I recently did some spring cleaning in my apartment so I got rid of stuff I don't use. I actually got rid of a tea cup set I got at my second cousin's wedding and it was still wrapped up. I have no use for because I don't drink espresso or anything like that at my place. So I had to not accept the gift in the beginning they were giving out.
I feel guilty because these events are so extravagent and all I do is complain about it. But really, I would never organize a shower like this. The structure is horrible and frankly I think these italian women in my family need to get creative and stop following tradition. We have so much in this culture. Why are we giving gifts to people that don't need it and it just creates clutter in their life. Why do we get subjected to these lame games and win these useless, tacky prizes? I'm just saying No to these poor, unconscious celebrations people organize. It's so meaningless. I'd rather eat a quick meal and then socialize with the people instead of being chained to a 3 hour meal.(a la Gilligan's Island) A 3 hour meal.
I go to these things because I want to connect with people and that only seems to happen with the people you are sitting with. And I'm not inclined to go table to table to meet people I don't know.
Anyways, I'm just glad there probably won't be any family weddings for a while.
The thing I am a bit suspicious of is that the relative that is getting married is the youngest of 3 brothers. His middle brother was the first to get married. He married his high school sweetheart and they ended up getting divorced because she went to school and fell in love with one of her classmates. The sad thing was he got married at 24, which is way too young to get married nowadays and his brother who is getting married in May will be 26 and is marrying his highschool sweetheart as well.
I know with the last marriage, I think the girl just wanted to organize a wedding - so many girls fall in love with this fantasy of marriage and don't actually realize what it really means. It's about building a future with someone. I am now wondering the same thing with this wedding. I am always skeptical of people that get married and they are that young and don't have much life experience. They don't really know what they want out of life. They just think they do. Then they get a bit more life experience under their belt and then realize they weren't the person who they thought they were.
Well, I don't know how things will work out so I'm not too concerned. I just think it would be ironic if the same thing happened again.
I think I'm a bit bitter as well since they already have a house and are getting married and are 5 years younger then me. But then I can always rationalize how much more of an exciting life I've lived, but then I can rationalize to myself how that I've been alone for that 'excitement'. Anyways, it's a bit of a drag to go to these things, I guess because I'm insecure about this part of my life.
I went to a shower for a second cousin's future wife. I don't know her, so really I didn't care to go to this. But being that I am Italian, these people run these things in a traditional manner and it's pretty much all I've been accustomed to. I think I've only been once to a non-Italian wedding and I believe they had a stag and doe, so I don't know how women normally run a shower.
This event was just too much and too long. We got to eat at a nice hall. The food was good for the most part but they draw it out and a 3 course meal got spread out in about 2 and a half hours. Normally they organize these really lame bridal games where they hand out prizes but they didn't really have too many going and there was quite a lull in between the meals.
I got to win a prize, which was a giant candle. I hate candles and offered it to people at my table. No one liked the smell of it so I thought I'd donate it to good will but then I thought, what if I just 'forget' it there? Which is what I did.
As well, it's traditional to give 'bomboniera' which translates in Italian to a wedding gift. The gift was a cup and saucer. I recently did some spring cleaning in my apartment so I got rid of stuff I don't use. I actually got rid of a tea cup set I got at my second cousin's wedding and it was still wrapped up. I have no use for because I don't drink espresso or anything like that at my place. So I had to not accept the gift in the beginning they were giving out.
I feel guilty because these events are so extravagent and all I do is complain about it. But really, I would never organize a shower like this. The structure is horrible and frankly I think these italian women in my family need to get creative and stop following tradition. We have so much in this culture. Why are we giving gifts to people that don't need it and it just creates clutter in their life. Why do we get subjected to these lame games and win these useless, tacky prizes? I'm just saying No to these poor, unconscious celebrations people organize. It's so meaningless. I'd rather eat a quick meal and then socialize with the people instead of being chained to a 3 hour meal.(a la Gilligan's Island) A 3 hour meal.
I go to these things because I want to connect with people and that only seems to happen with the people you are sitting with. And I'm not inclined to go table to table to meet people I don't know.
Anyways, I'm just glad there probably won't be any family weddings for a while.
The thing I am a bit suspicious of is that the relative that is getting married is the youngest of 3 brothers. His middle brother was the first to get married. He married his high school sweetheart and they ended up getting divorced because she went to school and fell in love with one of her classmates. The sad thing was he got married at 24, which is way too young to get married nowadays and his brother who is getting married in May will be 26 and is marrying his highschool sweetheart as well.
I know with the last marriage, I think the girl just wanted to organize a wedding - so many girls fall in love with this fantasy of marriage and don't actually realize what it really means. It's about building a future with someone. I am now wondering the same thing with this wedding. I am always skeptical of people that get married and they are that young and don't have much life experience. They don't really know what they want out of life. They just think they do. Then they get a bit more life experience under their belt and then realize they weren't the person who they thought they were.
Well, I don't know how things will work out so I'm not too concerned. I just think it would be ironic if the same thing happened again.
I think I'm a bit bitter as well since they already have a house and are getting married and are 5 years younger then me. But then I can always rationalize how much more of an exciting life I've lived, but then I can rationalize to myself how that I've been alone for that 'excitement'. Anyways, it's a bit of a drag to go to these things, I guess because I'm insecure about this part of my life.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The Road to Enlightenment
Greetings all,
One of the concepts that has always stuck on my mind was in How to Know Higher Worlds by Rudolf Steiner, was his imagery if we are on a spiritual path, we will hit a fork in the road and we will have to choose between the black path, which is egoism, and the white path, which is the good path and path of creativity and love. I have mentioned before that the root of all evil boils down to egoism or selfishness and in Steiner's lecture book called Evil, he mentions this concept. Frequently people will say money is the root of all evil but it isn't. Saying that hides the truth that it's egoism and selfishness. People can be responsible with their power but there must be proper structures to keep people's egos in check and to keep people accountable. It can happen to us all because part of being human means having an ego. No one is exempt from this.
One of the things as well that I have read about is the Buddhist concept of a Bodhisattva, where a Bodhisattva chooses to attain enlightenment for helping all humans liberate. There are many variations on this concept. For example in Mahayana Buddhism, some groups believe that a Bodhisattva can achieve this through several paths and they are: (this is from wiki. buddhahood means one who has attained full enlightenment)
1. King-like Bodhisattva - one who aspires to become buddha as soon as possible and then help sentient beings in full fledge;
2. Boatman-like Bodhisattva - one who aspires to achieve buddhahood along with other sentient beings and
3. Shepherd-like Bodhisattva - one who aspires to delay buddhahood until all other sentient beings achieve buddhahood.
This Bodhisattva concept relates to Steiner's concept of the choosing the black or white path. In essence, choosing the black path means you are still driven by ego and thus are not ready for enlightenment. The key concept Steiner points out is that due to the way the ego is made up and its nature, if it is allowed to be in charge, then that will lead to its own destruction. So basically when people act egotistically, they are creating karma that will lead to their own fall and will hurt them in the long run.
Being that humans have a dual nature, we need to use our ego for positive things as Steiner has mentioned that ascending in the spiritual world requires ego but at the same time you must forget and 'lose' your ego.
I have been going to a yoga ashram in Toronto as they hold a few monthly meditations. I went to a few and I have been to a full moon meditation a couple of times. I think when I went for a second time, there was a different person running it and I think he was the 'sub' for it, I am not sure.
I'm not sure how hard core yogi he was but usually people will chant in a group and direct it to help their loved ones or for the world in general. I thought he was a bit flaky but it was my first time being around him and sometimes I just don't like people right away because I only see a piece of their personality so it might take a bit to get an overall better sense of their personality.
We wanted to send some positive, healing energy for the earth and he mentioned that because he was a vegetarian and relied on public transportation, he wasn't really contributing to the problem. The way I saw that statement was that he wasn't concerned about this issue and only seemed concerned that since he's not really 'the problem'. I mean, it doesn't matter if you are vegetarian or not. It's great that an individual makes choices that are positive but in the long run, it is short sighted because the environment issue is much more bigger then that and just because you may not be directly involved in this problem, doesn't mean in some indirect way you may not be. In other words, his statement I felt was not enlightened nor compassionate.
It's a political issue. It's an economic issue. We all have to do our part and some of us may make bigger contributions like tackling big business. Some of us may only look at our own consumerism and reduce what garbage we produce. There's just so many things to be done and it will take time but to have some airy fairy idea that well because I don't have a car and eat vegetables, I'm not part of the problem is quite ignorant.
So obviously this relates to what I was mentioning earlier because if we are on a spiritual path then really we need to acknowledge that we are always choosing what path we are on. You are either choosing things that hurt you in the long run or choose things that are good for you in the long run. I just don't think this meditation leader was enlightened enough and needs to revise his mental concepts.
One of the concepts that has always stuck on my mind was in How to Know Higher Worlds by Rudolf Steiner, was his imagery if we are on a spiritual path, we will hit a fork in the road and we will have to choose between the black path, which is egoism, and the white path, which is the good path and path of creativity and love. I have mentioned before that the root of all evil boils down to egoism or selfishness and in Steiner's lecture book called Evil, he mentions this concept. Frequently people will say money is the root of all evil but it isn't. Saying that hides the truth that it's egoism and selfishness. People can be responsible with their power but there must be proper structures to keep people's egos in check and to keep people accountable. It can happen to us all because part of being human means having an ego. No one is exempt from this.
One of the things as well that I have read about is the Buddhist concept of a Bodhisattva, where a Bodhisattva chooses to attain enlightenment for helping all humans liberate. There are many variations on this concept. For example in Mahayana Buddhism, some groups believe that a Bodhisattva can achieve this through several paths and they are: (this is from wiki. buddhahood means one who has attained full enlightenment)
1. King-like Bodhisattva - one who aspires to become buddha as soon as possible and then help sentient beings in full fledge;
2. Boatman-like Bodhisattva - one who aspires to achieve buddhahood along with other sentient beings and
3. Shepherd-like Bodhisattva - one who aspires to delay buddhahood until all other sentient beings achieve buddhahood.
This Bodhisattva concept relates to Steiner's concept of the choosing the black or white path. In essence, choosing the black path means you are still driven by ego and thus are not ready for enlightenment. The key concept Steiner points out is that due to the way the ego is made up and its nature, if it is allowed to be in charge, then that will lead to its own destruction. So basically when people act egotistically, they are creating karma that will lead to their own fall and will hurt them in the long run.
Being that humans have a dual nature, we need to use our ego for positive things as Steiner has mentioned that ascending in the spiritual world requires ego but at the same time you must forget and 'lose' your ego.
I have been going to a yoga ashram in Toronto as they hold a few monthly meditations. I went to a few and I have been to a full moon meditation a couple of times. I think when I went for a second time, there was a different person running it and I think he was the 'sub' for it, I am not sure.
I'm not sure how hard core yogi he was but usually people will chant in a group and direct it to help their loved ones or for the world in general. I thought he was a bit flaky but it was my first time being around him and sometimes I just don't like people right away because I only see a piece of their personality so it might take a bit to get an overall better sense of their personality.
We wanted to send some positive, healing energy for the earth and he mentioned that because he was a vegetarian and relied on public transportation, he wasn't really contributing to the problem. The way I saw that statement was that he wasn't concerned about this issue and only seemed concerned that since he's not really 'the problem'. I mean, it doesn't matter if you are vegetarian or not. It's great that an individual makes choices that are positive but in the long run, it is short sighted because the environment issue is much more bigger then that and just because you may not be directly involved in this problem, doesn't mean in some indirect way you may not be. In other words, his statement I felt was not enlightened nor compassionate.
It's a political issue. It's an economic issue. We all have to do our part and some of us may make bigger contributions like tackling big business. Some of us may only look at our own consumerism and reduce what garbage we produce. There's just so many things to be done and it will take time but to have some airy fairy idea that well because I don't have a car and eat vegetables, I'm not part of the problem is quite ignorant.
So obviously this relates to what I was mentioning earlier because if we are on a spiritual path then really we need to acknowledge that we are always choosing what path we are on. You are either choosing things that hurt you in the long run or choose things that are good for you in the long run. I just don't think this meditation leader was enlightened enough and needs to revise his mental concepts.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Cleaning
Greetings all,
I used to be really diligent in cleaning my room when I was a child. I would clean it every week and on occasion, I would move my furniture around. I really enjoyed pushing my furniture and how different my room felt when I moved things around.
My mother didn't tell me to clean every week. Or maybe she did. Once. But it was something I think I did out of my own free will.
And then when I became a teenager, it was harder to clean my room and I just didn't care anymore. I was struggling to find my place in the world and figuring out who I was.
Obviously, as you get older you accumulate more stuff and I think by the time I moved out when I was 28, I think my space felt cleaner since it was spread out more. My bedroom now just had my bed, instead of my bookshelf and desk.
But believe me, my place still gets messy. I find though, my desk area tends to get the messiest as well as my dresser. I am so lazy, I don't even bother putting my clothes back in the closet. I put away most of my clothes that were on my dresser today. My dresser is about 1 foot away from my closet. My bedroom is really small and is half the size of my old apartment so when I open my closet door, if I try to open it all the way, I would hit my dresser.
I make it a point to clean my apartment once a month and I think the last time I cleaned it was 2 or 3 weeks ago.
I really need a husband because I think maybe I'd keep my bedroom area neater. At least when I had a roommate, I'd keep the common areas fairly tidy but usually I kept my bedroom a mess and never really bothered cleaning it too often
I used to be really diligent in cleaning my room when I was a child. I would clean it every week and on occasion, I would move my furniture around. I really enjoyed pushing my furniture and how different my room felt when I moved things around.
My mother didn't tell me to clean every week. Or maybe she did. Once. But it was something I think I did out of my own free will.
And then when I became a teenager, it was harder to clean my room and I just didn't care anymore. I was struggling to find my place in the world and figuring out who I was.
Obviously, as you get older you accumulate more stuff and I think by the time I moved out when I was 28, I think my space felt cleaner since it was spread out more. My bedroom now just had my bed, instead of my bookshelf and desk.
But believe me, my place still gets messy. I find though, my desk area tends to get the messiest as well as my dresser. I am so lazy, I don't even bother putting my clothes back in the closet. I put away most of my clothes that were on my dresser today. My dresser is about 1 foot away from my closet. My bedroom is really small and is half the size of my old apartment so when I open my closet door, if I try to open it all the way, I would hit my dresser.
I make it a point to clean my apartment once a month and I think the last time I cleaned it was 2 or 3 weeks ago.
I really need a husband because I think maybe I'd keep my bedroom area neater. At least when I had a roommate, I'd keep the common areas fairly tidy but usually I kept my bedroom a mess and never really bothered cleaning it too often
Damn you cruel world!
Greetings all,
Today is Family Day, which is a holiday for us in Ontario so I am organizing my apartment and cleaning up. I had my show at Yuk's and it was a full crowd, so probably around 200 people. They were running a competition to win $25000. As much as I would like to win that money, I was more interested in getting hired on since it would be a good stepping stone. I know in the long run, to be successful, you will have to break out from a circuit and do your own thing but certainly starting with that company is a good place.
Anyways, 2 comics got to advance to the next round and sadly I didn't get to advance. I was the only female (the host was female) and there were about 9 of us all together. I think I was the best one out of them and I should have gotten a spot, so I was quite mad this morning. I was wondering if I was being discriminated because I was a female and maybe they didn't want to pick me because it would look like they were picking me because I was female. But clearly I had talent as I wanted to tell my last joke but didn't have time and so some of the audience members were sighing since they obviously wanted to hear more.
I think maybe because of that, maybe the judges thought I didn't end well as you should always end on a winning joke. Anyways, I've recovered from my bitter loss and I will have to keep plugging away and figuring out myself because I have too much talent and it isn't right if I slave away at a meaningless job. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in this but that's not necessarily a bad thing because I think I do have the strength to persevere and succeed.
Today is Family Day, which is a holiday for us in Ontario so I am organizing my apartment and cleaning up. I had my show at Yuk's and it was a full crowd, so probably around 200 people. They were running a competition to win $25000. As much as I would like to win that money, I was more interested in getting hired on since it would be a good stepping stone. I know in the long run, to be successful, you will have to break out from a circuit and do your own thing but certainly starting with that company is a good place.
Anyways, 2 comics got to advance to the next round and sadly I didn't get to advance. I was the only female (the host was female) and there were about 9 of us all together. I think I was the best one out of them and I should have gotten a spot, so I was quite mad this morning. I was wondering if I was being discriminated because I was a female and maybe they didn't want to pick me because it would look like they were picking me because I was female. But clearly I had talent as I wanted to tell my last joke but didn't have time and so some of the audience members were sighing since they obviously wanted to hear more.
I think maybe because of that, maybe the judges thought I didn't end well as you should always end on a winning joke. Anyways, I've recovered from my bitter loss and I will have to keep plugging away and figuring out myself because I have too much talent and it isn't right if I slave away at a meaningless job. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in this but that's not necessarily a bad thing because I think I do have the strength to persevere and succeed.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I do hate Teachers!
Greetings all,
I was having some discussions with a couple of coworkers at lunch and somehow we got onto the topic of teachers. I can tell you that I have a bias against the teaching profession and basically think the majority of them are spoiled brats.
First of all, I have a godfather who used to be a teacher and had a car accident so had to go on disability. I think if he were a teacher of mine, I'd probably like him. I've probably had a few teachers in my life that I liked.
The reason I have a bias against them is multi-fold. First of all, I know some people try and get into that profession out of unpure motives and not because they genuinely want to teach and educate young people. I can think of a couple of former coworkers of mine who I felt should not be teachers. Mind you, they wanted to be teachers and were in school. They weren't at the stage where they could go into teaching so maybe they would realize teaching is not for them. I felt they were a bit irresponsible and I know one coworker was the type to shirk responsibility.
Again, I guess since they weren't real teachers, that does not count.
Another thing I don't like is that they go on strike and complain about that they don't make enough money. Frankly, I don't know what profession in the world gives you summer off, 2 weeks off of Christmas, March break and all the other holidays every one else gets. As well they get sick days. I think probably the initial year or two of teaching is a challenge but once you know what you are doing and how to properly organize your time. As well, they don't have to work a full day, whereas a student for most of their time in high school, does not get a break until I think grade 11 or 12 (I went to a Catholic school where we had Grade 13, I know they got rid of grade 13 a few years later)
The way I see it, if you don't like your job, don't be in it. Stop complaining and spreading your misery around!
The other thing I don't respect about teachers is that well.. they just teach. They don't really know the demands or reality of the work world today. Most of them are only familiar with the world of education because most teachers go to elementary, high school, university and into teaching. The only experience they have with the real world is if they take a summer job while in school. I think I had a computer teacher that had some real world experience. I think it should be mandatory for teachers!
As well, I feel that the education that gets forced upon us, is mostly useless stuff. We never really learn real stuff and stuff that can help us as human beings. I think I like the school system of Waldorf, but I have not experienced it but since I am into Anthroposophy, I like the philosophy behind the school.
As well, I think some teachers just aren't creative and are just dead inside in the sense they don't teach us how to teach ourselves and to get to the root and concept of what we are learning. We never seem to get the big picture of things.
Anyways, I probably have more hatred to spew towards teachers and the system in general. I really wonder if they do any real work in this world because sometimes I just don't think they are doing much. But then, we can't attribute all social grievances on them.
I do like to point that I am aware of my hatred for them and perhaps in time, I will let go of my disgust towards this profession
I was having some discussions with a couple of coworkers at lunch and somehow we got onto the topic of teachers. I can tell you that I have a bias against the teaching profession and basically think the majority of them are spoiled brats.
First of all, I have a godfather who used to be a teacher and had a car accident so had to go on disability. I think if he were a teacher of mine, I'd probably like him. I've probably had a few teachers in my life that I liked.
The reason I have a bias against them is multi-fold. First of all, I know some people try and get into that profession out of unpure motives and not because they genuinely want to teach and educate young people. I can think of a couple of former coworkers of mine who I felt should not be teachers. Mind you, they wanted to be teachers and were in school. They weren't at the stage where they could go into teaching so maybe they would realize teaching is not for them. I felt they were a bit irresponsible and I know one coworker was the type to shirk responsibility.
Again, I guess since they weren't real teachers, that does not count.
Another thing I don't like is that they go on strike and complain about that they don't make enough money. Frankly, I don't know what profession in the world gives you summer off, 2 weeks off of Christmas, March break and all the other holidays every one else gets. As well they get sick days. I think probably the initial year or two of teaching is a challenge but once you know what you are doing and how to properly organize your time. As well, they don't have to work a full day, whereas a student for most of their time in high school, does not get a break until I think grade 11 or 12 (I went to a Catholic school where we had Grade 13, I know they got rid of grade 13 a few years later)
The way I see it, if you don't like your job, don't be in it. Stop complaining and spreading your misery around!
The other thing I don't respect about teachers is that well.. they just teach. They don't really know the demands or reality of the work world today. Most of them are only familiar with the world of education because most teachers go to elementary, high school, university and into teaching. The only experience they have with the real world is if they take a summer job while in school. I think I had a computer teacher that had some real world experience. I think it should be mandatory for teachers!
As well, I feel that the education that gets forced upon us, is mostly useless stuff. We never really learn real stuff and stuff that can help us as human beings. I think I like the school system of Waldorf, but I have not experienced it but since I am into Anthroposophy, I like the philosophy behind the school.
As well, I think some teachers just aren't creative and are just dead inside in the sense they don't teach us how to teach ourselves and to get to the root and concept of what we are learning. We never seem to get the big picture of things.
Anyways, I probably have more hatred to spew towards teachers and the system in general. I really wonder if they do any real work in this world because sometimes I just don't think they are doing much. But then, we can't attribute all social grievances on them.
I do like to point that I am aware of my hatred for them and perhaps in time, I will let go of my disgust towards this profession
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Youth Initiatives
Greetings all,
One of the things that some people in my new book group are organizing is some sort of initiatives young anthroposophists can do. We had a meeting a couple of weeks ago and today had another one. Being that I am an introvert, the meeting was from noon to 4.30pm and was way too draining for me. I am one of these people that can't stand being with people where we spend long hours talking. I like talking to some degree but any sort of meeting for more then 2 hours is just too much and it starts making me turn sour. I need my time to think!
As well, I don't really consider myself a young anthroposophist. The group is for those 16-35 and I'm 31. I don't consider myself young anymore. I am not too sure if I'll be able to make much of a contribution to this group and I'm not sure what initiatives we potentially can work on. The thing is, I don't want to invest too much of my time. I don't want this to get in my way for my plans of global domination!
I've always wanted to do something practical with anthroposophy. I am doing my you tube videos on Philosophy of Freedom, so that is something. I'm just not sure if this is the right time for me. I need to focus on my career and as a creative performer. I am slow in getting things done and I don't want to spread myself too thin.
As well I'm in my practical phase of life. I don't want to waste too much time trying to change the world, which is a common impulse youth feel. While I think that impulse has it's place, sometimes I think it's easier to change yourself and that is what I am focusing on since I have had an active kundalini yoga and meditation practice.
I know when I was in my early 20s, I wanted to change the world, shake things up. I think as you grow older, you learn how difficult it is to change things and so you learn to adapt more realistic concepts of what can change and what cannot. So I shun lofty ideals to some degree. (I don't know why I still want global domination though, that is some form of a lofty ideal).
I think that's one thing I've struggled with in my 20s is where does the practical side of Anthroposophy fit into my life. I mean, maybe for my karmic purposes, reading it and discussing ideas is enough for me to get the spiritual nourishment that I need.
Anyways, another thing I am thinking about is that I think people don't get this concept of 3-folding. I think maybe they think we have to overhaul current society to follow it but I think it's much more simpler then people envision it. I think because it requires some creative thinking and finding out ways in which we are not keeping these spheres separate is what needs to be done. I think what makes it challenging is for people's own individual impulses can guide them to help create some sort of change.
As well, I think society does have some sense of this concept on an instinctive level.
For me, I am interested probably in human rights and economic issues. That may be something I will be more inclined to tackle in my late 40s or 50s as I do also want to get married and have children in the next few years
One of the things that some people in my new book group are organizing is some sort of initiatives young anthroposophists can do. We had a meeting a couple of weeks ago and today had another one. Being that I am an introvert, the meeting was from noon to 4.30pm and was way too draining for me. I am one of these people that can't stand being with people where we spend long hours talking. I like talking to some degree but any sort of meeting for more then 2 hours is just too much and it starts making me turn sour. I need my time to think!
As well, I don't really consider myself a young anthroposophist. The group is for those 16-35 and I'm 31. I don't consider myself young anymore. I am not too sure if I'll be able to make much of a contribution to this group and I'm not sure what initiatives we potentially can work on. The thing is, I don't want to invest too much of my time. I don't want this to get in my way for my plans of global domination!
I've always wanted to do something practical with anthroposophy. I am doing my you tube videos on Philosophy of Freedom, so that is something. I'm just not sure if this is the right time for me. I need to focus on my career and as a creative performer. I am slow in getting things done and I don't want to spread myself too thin.
As well I'm in my practical phase of life. I don't want to waste too much time trying to change the world, which is a common impulse youth feel. While I think that impulse has it's place, sometimes I think it's easier to change yourself and that is what I am focusing on since I have had an active kundalini yoga and meditation practice.
I know when I was in my early 20s, I wanted to change the world, shake things up. I think as you grow older, you learn how difficult it is to change things and so you learn to adapt more realistic concepts of what can change and what cannot. So I shun lofty ideals to some degree. (I don't know why I still want global domination though, that is some form of a lofty ideal).
I think that's one thing I've struggled with in my 20s is where does the practical side of Anthroposophy fit into my life. I mean, maybe for my karmic purposes, reading it and discussing ideas is enough for me to get the spiritual nourishment that I need.
Anyways, another thing I am thinking about is that I think people don't get this concept of 3-folding. I think maybe they think we have to overhaul current society to follow it but I think it's much more simpler then people envision it. I think because it requires some creative thinking and finding out ways in which we are not keeping these spheres separate is what needs to be done. I think what makes it challenging is for people's own individual impulses can guide them to help create some sort of change.
As well, I think society does have some sense of this concept on an instinctive level.
For me, I am interested probably in human rights and economic issues. That may be something I will be more inclined to tackle in my late 40s or 50s as I do also want to get married and have children in the next few years
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Is This Evolving?
Greetings all,
I have noticed, thanks to my daily meditation practice, that I just don't get angry or irritated by things as much. But on some level it freaks me out a bit as I wonder if it means that I'm evolving or becoming more passive. I think becoming a passive individual would freak me out too much but I guess it is a good thing to not have things get you riled up all the time.
I guess meditating makes you accept things but I don't think accepting things means you're being passive. I think it's a good thing to accept things because then you can do something constructive or tune it out altogether. But that's why it can become a freaky experience to relax and let go of thoughts and feelings that don't serve you anymore and to accept them, even though they may be painful and ugly.
I have noticed, thanks to my daily meditation practice, that I just don't get angry or irritated by things as much. But on some level it freaks me out a bit as I wonder if it means that I'm evolving or becoming more passive. I think becoming a passive individual would freak me out too much but I guess it is a good thing to not have things get you riled up all the time.
I guess meditating makes you accept things but I don't think accepting things means you're being passive. I think it's a good thing to accept things because then you can do something constructive or tune it out altogether. But that's why it can become a freaky experience to relax and let go of thoughts and feelings that don't serve you anymore and to accept them, even though they may be painful and ugly.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Donation
Greetings all,
I have to rant about this topic of Donation. I was in a meetup group and the guy was running a meditation group and he advertised in other places. Typically with meetups, I think the site is geared more for socializing but some people use it to promote their own services, which I am okay with to some degree.
I think meditation groups should be free and if you run them, it should be by pure donation. Most people who run a group, there is a monthly fee and usually some charge a small fee and the rest goes to charity.
Now I have been to one of his concerts as he had meetups for sound meditation and he is a musician as well and occasionally performs. For the meetups and for the concert, they write 'a suggested donation of $10'. For a meetup he just writes on the site the suggested donation. I think $10 is much too much for a meditation group. It's not so bad for an hour concert. Usually people charge a toonie every few events. As well, I feel if I am meditating in a group, I as a meditator am helping the people in the group because I have read that when you meditate in a group, we essentially are helping each other out because some of us are clearer then others in certain areas and I may be blocked in one area and for another, that area might be clear so by being in a group with them, it helps me and vice versa. I feel it is a very personal and co-operative experience. I understand there may be costs but sometimes I think the cost is a little too much
Anyways, the point is making a donation is a free deed and you should not tell people how much they should be donated, because then it no longer becomes a donation. You are telling me what to pay and acting like a retailer!
I've been reading a book called Predictably Irrational and the writer/economist had some interesting concepts. One that I enjoyed learning about was that people would rather do something for free then to do it on a reduced fee. If I wasn't told how much money I should be donating, maybe I'd offer more and maybe they'd collect more.
I feel guilty on some degree since I wind up not paying the suggested donation and it is a turn off and demotivates me. The guy hasn't had any meetups lately but I haven't wanted to go simply because I don't like the idea of being told how much I should pay as a donation.
Suggested Donation is an illusory term!
I have to rant about this topic of Donation. I was in a meetup group and the guy was running a meditation group and he advertised in other places. Typically with meetups, I think the site is geared more for socializing but some people use it to promote their own services, which I am okay with to some degree.
I think meditation groups should be free and if you run them, it should be by pure donation. Most people who run a group, there is a monthly fee and usually some charge a small fee and the rest goes to charity.
Now I have been to one of his concerts as he had meetups for sound meditation and he is a musician as well and occasionally performs. For the meetups and for the concert, they write 'a suggested donation of $10'. For a meetup he just writes on the site the suggested donation. I think $10 is much too much for a meditation group. It's not so bad for an hour concert. Usually people charge a toonie every few events. As well, I feel if I am meditating in a group, I as a meditator am helping the people in the group because I have read that when you meditate in a group, we essentially are helping each other out because some of us are clearer then others in certain areas and I may be blocked in one area and for another, that area might be clear so by being in a group with them, it helps me and vice versa. I feel it is a very personal and co-operative experience. I understand there may be costs but sometimes I think the cost is a little too much
Anyways, the point is making a donation is a free deed and you should not tell people how much they should be donated, because then it no longer becomes a donation. You are telling me what to pay and acting like a retailer!
I've been reading a book called Predictably Irrational and the writer/economist had some interesting concepts. One that I enjoyed learning about was that people would rather do something for free then to do it on a reduced fee. If I wasn't told how much money I should be donating, maybe I'd offer more and maybe they'd collect more.
I feel guilty on some degree since I wind up not paying the suggested donation and it is a turn off and demotivates me. The guy hasn't had any meetups lately but I haven't wanted to go simply because I don't like the idea of being told how much I should pay as a donation.
Suggested Donation is an illusory term!
Ya Gotta Wonder Sometimes
Greetings all,
I had a friend post some article on facebook about how people's EI runs out and they still have no work.
That's what happened to me. My EI ran out in June and I didn't have a job until September and I had a few temp assignments in August so I was without income for 2 months.
I survived because I had savings. Mind you this was money I was going to use eventually for a down payment on a condo and I had lost some money because of this recession so this was a very traumatizing experience for me, especially since I am naturally a saver. So now I am focusing on rebuilding my savings but also on keeping my spending low so I can build up my savings again.
I think people need to realize that it's not up the government to take care of you and while they have a bad reputation and I think sometimes get too much flak, we the people have to take responsibility for our own lives. We complain if the government is doing too much regulating and messing in our lives but then when things go awry, we just blame them. Sometimes the blame is justified, other times it's not.
I think people need to reexamine how they spend their money and focus on saving it and that's not something the government can do for you. Sure maybe they can provide some incentives.
Security seems to be a myth these days so we have to create our own sense of security. If I didn't have my savings, I'd probably be freaking out more when I was out of work with no income (I could have asked for money from my parents but didn't want it to get to that point)
It's not realistic to live in the moment all the time. You have to think of your own future and plan to some degree and be prepared. There are setbacks in life and your best solution is to be prepared.
I had a friend post some article on facebook about how people's EI runs out and they still have no work.
That's what happened to me. My EI ran out in June and I didn't have a job until September and I had a few temp assignments in August so I was without income for 2 months.
I survived because I had savings. Mind you this was money I was going to use eventually for a down payment on a condo and I had lost some money because of this recession so this was a very traumatizing experience for me, especially since I am naturally a saver. So now I am focusing on rebuilding my savings but also on keeping my spending low so I can build up my savings again.
I think people need to realize that it's not up the government to take care of you and while they have a bad reputation and I think sometimes get too much flak, we the people have to take responsibility for our own lives. We complain if the government is doing too much regulating and messing in our lives but then when things go awry, we just blame them. Sometimes the blame is justified, other times it's not.
I think people need to reexamine how they spend their money and focus on saving it and that's not something the government can do for you. Sure maybe they can provide some incentives.
Security seems to be a myth these days so we have to create our own sense of security. If I didn't have my savings, I'd probably be freaking out more when I was out of work with no income (I could have asked for money from my parents but didn't want it to get to that point)
It's not realistic to live in the moment all the time. You have to think of your own future and plan to some degree and be prepared. There are setbacks in life and your best solution is to be prepared.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
What Goes Around Sorta Comes Around
Greetings all,
I did my first stand up show 2 years ago back on February 4 at The Rivoli. I found out as well that for the show Last Comic Standing, they had open auditions at the Yuk Yuk's in downtown Toronto. This was on Valentine's day so I skipped work and made my way down there.
I didn't know what to expect but I managed to get interviewed by the host. I don't know if I made it to air, but I think I stood out from the crowd because I was wearing my Canadian olympic winter hat which has the Canadian Leaf around it. Some of the comics that got to go in were already booked space via their agency so the people waiting in line were essentially unpaid extras. I was there for half the day at least waiting in the cold. They were going to let 25 go through and get a spot for the show last night. We got to go in small groups to try our jokes. I heard in line they were looking more for characters, so the one guy in my group did a character and actually got to be in the 25 that got to performed.
I know Yuk's has this annual contest where they award the winner some money. I actually found out from someone they are doing warm up type shows so I'll actually get to perform for one of them on Valentine's day. This will be my first show at Yuk's as I've been getting my experience in independently run open mics. I've tried a few times to get a spot on Yuk's but to no success and now that my book group meets on Tuesday, I haven't really bothered trying again.
I don't know what to expect from this but it is sort of a moment of what goes around comes around.
I did my first stand up show 2 years ago back on February 4 at The Rivoli. I found out as well that for the show Last Comic Standing, they had open auditions at the Yuk Yuk's in downtown Toronto. This was on Valentine's day so I skipped work and made my way down there.
I didn't know what to expect but I managed to get interviewed by the host. I don't know if I made it to air, but I think I stood out from the crowd because I was wearing my Canadian olympic winter hat which has the Canadian Leaf around it. Some of the comics that got to go in were already booked space via their agency so the people waiting in line were essentially unpaid extras. I was there for half the day at least waiting in the cold. They were going to let 25 go through and get a spot for the show last night. We got to go in small groups to try our jokes. I heard in line they were looking more for characters, so the one guy in my group did a character and actually got to be in the 25 that got to performed.
I know Yuk's has this annual contest where they award the winner some money. I actually found out from someone they are doing warm up type shows so I'll actually get to perform for one of them on Valentine's day. This will be my first show at Yuk's as I've been getting my experience in independently run open mics. I've tried a few times to get a spot on Yuk's but to no success and now that my book group meets on Tuesday, I haven't really bothered trying again.
I don't know what to expect from this but it is sort of a moment of what goes around comes around.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
I am not a Man Hater!
Greetings all,
I know lately I seem to be bitching about men. I was bitching at lunch at work earlier this week and was hissing at my male co-workers as a bunch of us usually go down to the underground food court to eat lunch (there is no lunch room in our building). Somehow we talked about men and I was frustrated in general about them.
I really don't hate men but gees louise sometimes I just don't get men and what they do. I just find their behaviour illogical at times!
Why can't men just behave the way you want them to or the way you think they should??!!
Yes I understand that you really can't control anyone and that people need to have their freedom respected.
Men, if you are frustrated by the women in your life, believe me you probably frustrate us as much and possibly more!
I know lately I seem to be bitching about men. I was bitching at lunch at work earlier this week and was hissing at my male co-workers as a bunch of us usually go down to the underground food court to eat lunch (there is no lunch room in our building). Somehow we talked about men and I was frustrated in general about them.
I really don't hate men but gees louise sometimes I just don't get men and what they do. I just find their behaviour illogical at times!
Why can't men just behave the way you want them to or the way you think they should??!!
Yes I understand that you really can't control anyone and that people need to have their freedom respected.
Men, if you are frustrated by the women in your life, believe me you probably frustrate us as much and possibly more!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
My Job
Greetings all,
I've actually been trained last week on doing something new for my job. I'm in administration for an international insurance company. I am now issuing and doing billing for this new customer group. I find though, this company doesn't train the employees properly and they need to be more stricter and having actual training guides. Since I've had so many jobs, I know and expect to be properly trained. Their style of training seems to be 'on the fly' and they need to do something about it because sometimes the trainee doesn't receive all the necessary details to do the job properly.
I was as well being trained by a new person who's only been at the company for a month. I've been there since September. While she has been as compentent as possible about how to handle this new group, it's really the job of the company to make our jobs as clear and simple as possible.
I don't think it was smart of them as well to be putting new people on this new group. It was messy enough to deal with but as well having to deal with learning new processes, it would have made more sense to have experienced people doing this and training us on something else.
I think that's what I find frustrating about this job. It has so many members but it seems so disorganized and frankly I think management needs to run a tighter ship! I've made a few errors on billing, simply because I wasn't properly trained and usually the mistakes result from a simple changing of some date in the system.
It angers me because then I feel stupid. I am a good worker and don't like making errors like this. And then it creates more problems down the line and in the end is an annoyance for customers. I know it's not my fault. It would be my fault if I was told and kept making the same mistake. It really is the responsibility of the employer to ensure people are properly trained and to know the processes.
Sometimes I wonder if I should quit my job and find something else and work for a company that is at least a bit more organized in training. I know not all companies are perfect but it makes me wonder.
The flip side is that I want to be a professional comedian so I don't want to be changing jobs all the time. But then, why should I stay at a place that gets annoying at times?
I hate suffering and frankly wonder, how much BS should one tolerate? When should one walk away? How do you know when to tough it out or leave?
Anyways, I'll see what happens in the next few months. It is a hassle after all to find a job and I'd rather focus on my comedy.
I've actually been trained last week on doing something new for my job. I'm in administration for an international insurance company. I am now issuing and doing billing for this new customer group. I find though, this company doesn't train the employees properly and they need to be more stricter and having actual training guides. Since I've had so many jobs, I know and expect to be properly trained. Their style of training seems to be 'on the fly' and they need to do something about it because sometimes the trainee doesn't receive all the necessary details to do the job properly.
I was as well being trained by a new person who's only been at the company for a month. I've been there since September. While she has been as compentent as possible about how to handle this new group, it's really the job of the company to make our jobs as clear and simple as possible.
I don't think it was smart of them as well to be putting new people on this new group. It was messy enough to deal with but as well having to deal with learning new processes, it would have made more sense to have experienced people doing this and training us on something else.
I think that's what I find frustrating about this job. It has so many members but it seems so disorganized and frankly I think management needs to run a tighter ship! I've made a few errors on billing, simply because I wasn't properly trained and usually the mistakes result from a simple changing of some date in the system.
It angers me because then I feel stupid. I am a good worker and don't like making errors like this. And then it creates more problems down the line and in the end is an annoyance for customers. I know it's not my fault. It would be my fault if I was told and kept making the same mistake. It really is the responsibility of the employer to ensure people are properly trained and to know the processes.
Sometimes I wonder if I should quit my job and find something else and work for a company that is at least a bit more organized in training. I know not all companies are perfect but it makes me wonder.
The flip side is that I want to be a professional comedian so I don't want to be changing jobs all the time. But then, why should I stay at a place that gets annoying at times?
I hate suffering and frankly wonder, how much BS should one tolerate? When should one walk away? How do you know when to tough it out or leave?
Anyways, I'll see what happens in the next few months. It is a hassle after all to find a job and I'd rather focus on my comedy.
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